I don't link a whole lot to Jim, and I probably should, because like Michele says, he's a pretty funny guy. And he's had a rough week.
So go make him happy. Click the link and visit Jim, and raise his stats a bit so he can sell some real ads.
Jimdudedon't sweat being made the go-between. And think of how much worse your life could be. You could have been bitten by a radioactive spider and developed a really bad sense of humor and the ability to walk up walls. Or you could have been exposed to gamma rays and turn into a rampaging monster every time you get angry.
Or you could have been Boy George. I mean, really. Aren't you glad you're not him? permalink
Found an interesting site via a commenter in one of Tacitus' message threads. It has what appears to be the complete list of UN resolutions concerning Israel. (Had I but known, I could have saved myself some effort and just copied from them.) The site itself is a hard-line Islamist "news" site, which I won't bother linking. But there's a pretty important United Nations resolution missing from that list: UN Resolution 242, which states in part :
So, which part you think the Islamist aren't happy with? The part that calls for the end of the state of belligerency, the call to recognize each state's sovereignty and territorial integrity, or the right to live in peace within secure and recognized boundaries?
I say all three. Plus all the rest of part two.
Overall, that is simply a fascinating omission. It's been a long time since I read Resolution 242. Funny how you hear the anti-Israel side touting 242's mention of the disputed territories and the palestinian refugees, but you never here them discussing the parts that insist on Israel's recognition by all the states in the area.
Looks like every state but Egypt is in noncompliance with 242, and Egypt only barely gets a bye. permalink
Well, really. You'd think we'd outgrow them, and yet, I couldn't stop laughing at this post of Bigwig's. It's another in a series of emails that he's sending to the Saudi Arabia religious police, via their online rat-'em-out form.
I can't excerpt it. You'll simply have to click on the link if you want a cheap laugh. permalink
Today was Heidi's designated birthday celebration, as there were things going on this week during her actual birthday. Sorena insisted on baking her a cake, all by herself. Well, in reality, with the assistance of her two friends, one of which is the same age, the other two years older. When I arrived, the cake had been baked, Heidi was banished from the kitchen, and apparently the girls were in the midst of a waterfight (starring supersoaker guns, of course) with three of the neighborhood boys. They saw me arrive, came tearing over, screaming, "Meryl!" And when they reached me, "Where's Andy?" (Andy is my friend and the former fifth grade teacher at my religious school who has been over for dinner with me a couple of times. I think the girls all have a crush on him.) Alas, he is out of town.
I passed on the cake. It's a confetti cake, which means it has those sugary candies inside. Plus, the girls decorated it with white icing, Hershey's kisses, candy letters, cinnamon candies, and Skittles. Not only am I on a diet, but I do believe I'd have gotten a sugar overload if I ate a piece of that cake. That is why I wouldn't allow Sorena to make my birthday cake. I requested an angel food cake, knowing that she couldn't put that junk on it.
I've got pictures, but I'm here at Heidi's on her AOL connection, so I think they'll have to wait until I get home. Cello lessons will be over soon, and we'll take the dogs for a walk.
I checked my stats before I wrote this. Interesting website fact: Gracie's page is outdrawing Tig's by about ten percent. Well, she is the sweeter of the two. I'd best not tell her. She might start getting an ego problem. permalink
Reader Daniel S. doesn't think that Israel would ever authorize the "Samson" option.
Yes. But that's because we have never reached a place like that nightmare. Israel's nuclear capability is and was deterrence against the enemies that surround her. But will it deter the Islamokazis that call for her destruction? Are they willing to sacrifice Al-Quds if it gives them the end of the "Zionist occupation of Arab Holy Lands"?
I think you ennoble us too much. I think you also make the mistake that the rest of the world does, expecting Israel to cleave to a higher moral standard because, dammit, she's Jewish. Whereas I think that there is a point at which even a Jew will say, "Enough." That point comes only in my nightmares, at the end of Israel's existence as a Jewish state.
Oh, the one thing I forgot to put in my nightmare scenario: Of course, the world is going to blame the Jews. permalink
The wretched pieces of excrement that are known as "spokesmen" for Hamas had this to say yesterday:
You mean as opposed to before, when everyone was a target? Effing liars. You send a boy packed with explosives, metal shrapnel, screws, and nails into a public bus during rush hour, and you expect us to believe that you weren't targeting women and children?
Just look at a list of the dead: Bat-El Ohana, 21, Eugenia Berman, 50, Elsa Cohen, 70, Anna Orgal, 55. They don't list the names and ages of those who were "only" wounded. But we've seen the pictures of burned and bloody strollers, and read the stories of children murdered while hiding under their covers as their mothers were gunned down by terrorists. And there's a website that keeps track of all the Israeli victims of terror.
Hamas has never said they would stop the atrocities. In fact, it's quite the opposite, and the reason Ariel Sharon is coming down on them now is because they stated explicitly last week that they would not stop trying to murder Israelis. Anywhere in Israel. Read this post from December, and you'll see that nothing has changed. The world still blames Israel for causing "the cycle of violence" when, in fact, the recent Hamas attack was simply business as usualnot "retaliation" for the attempt on Rantissi.
They've always targeted women and children. They thrive on killing innocents. They've attacked two more today.
But these are the attacks that the world pretends do not happen, or the attacks that the world insists are the fault of the Jewsfor daring to live in Arab towns. Funny how the Israelis are told they must coexist with the palestinians, but the pals get a bye on accepting Jews in the West Bank townswhich were historically Jewish. Hebron is the town that angers me the most. The Jews of Hebron were massacred in 1929long before the establishment of the state of Israelbut the world sees fit to pretend it was always without Jews, ignoring its very name. The Jews living in Hebron today are trying to reclaim that heritage.
And Hamas says they're legitimate targets because of that.
Take 'em out, Arik. All of the murdering filth. permalink
This fight has given me an idea. I'm going to get mad at my name-twin (I'll show her for sending me one of those chain letter emails), have a fight, and declare myself to be the one, true Meryl. Because I am older and wiser than she. And her domain has only been around since October of 2002. I've had my domain since 1998.
Yup. Y'all better get ready to fight, name-twin. I hear it's the fashionable thing to do these days. And don't even start to tell me you've got a newborn baby, and you're taking care of the other kids, besides your weblog and your freelance articles and everything else. You have to fight me, that's all. We can't both be named Meryl.
This web isn't big enough for the two of us. And besides, I hear it's great for your traffic. permalink
A small-town kid from Arkansas tells us why we should support Israel, and why the rest of the world is wrong.
Bryan S. of Arguing with Signposts has a clear and concise post on the Klan issue. The comment are equally clear and concise (no sign of a raving Sims yet). A snippet:
You got that right. permalink
An excerpt that best portrays the issue, from Lynn S.:
The full post is superb.
Then there's another excellent post by Paul Jané of Agitprop:
That's what I said, Paul, but he can't hear those words. And as an extra special bonus, Clubbeaux in the comments, insulting people that are not me!
The issue was also covered by Andrea Harris, Steve H., and Dean Esmay. Imagine, pissing off Dave Sims in the pages of at least half a dozen blogs. Sometimes I didn't even post in that blog's comments, and he was still frothing with rage about me.
Do you think maybe he doesn't like me? permalink
Merde in France got me to take a second look at this article by Ron Rosenbaum. It details something that Iand many Jewshave been thinking about in the backs of our minds. Israel's concentration of Jews is particularly vulnerable to a nuclear device set off by the insane, Jew-hating terrorists backed by Islamic fundamentalists like Iran's Rafsajani, who declared that the use of a nuclear bomb in Israel will leave nothing on the ground, whereas it will only damage the world of Islam. And if the worst were to happen, most people expect to see what's called the "Samson" option: Israel's retaliatory attacks presumably will devastate the Islamic nations. It is one of the primary reasons Israel has a navy, and that navy is presumed to have nuclear weapons. This is the stuff of nightmares for all rational people. But are the Islamofascists rational? Do they really think they should set off a nuclear bomb in Tel Aviv?
Ron thinks they may be. He outlines a result, but I don't think Ron went far enough in his nightmare scenario. Here's mine:
If the worst ever happens, and the remaining Israeli nuclear capability strikes Mecca and Medina and Tehran and Cairo, or whatever Arab/Islamic cities are on their list, the world will rise up en masse immediately afterward and take out their wrath on the remaining Jews. European Jewish populations will be massacred again.
The violence will happen here in the U.S., too. There are large populations of Arab and Muslim immigrants in major cities that also have large Jewish populations. You'll see Crown Heights on fire, and the suburbs of Chicago, where Jewish and Arab communities live side by side. Paterson, NJ's Arab population will riot in Teaneck and Fairlawn and other towns with high Jewish populations in Bergen County. Northern Virginia's mosques are funded by Wahhabi money; count on violence near or in our nation's capital. Synagogues will be torched; Orthodox Jews will be mobbed and beaten on sight (any man in a dark hat and long coat will be at risk of being beaten); Jewish schools will be attacked and destroyed, Jewish-owned businesses smashed, burned, and looted.
That's my nightmare scenario. That will be the day that I take off my Star of David necklace and go down to my nearest gun shop to get myself some protection. I'll be one of the lucky ones. I have neither a Jewish-sounding name, nor do I "look" Jewish. And I live in a state where it's relatively easy to buy a gun. My cousin and his family, on the other hand, live a few blocks away from a mosque, in a heavily Orthodox Jewish neighborhood of Chicago. It will be a battle zone. Rioters don't generally stop to ask if you're a member of the object of their wrath; non-Jews will be victims, too. The death toll could be in the thousands by the time the police and National Guard quell the riots here. The death tolls will be in the thousands in Europe, especially in France, which has the highest Jewish and Arab population on the Continent.
This is why the Europeans need to stop coddling palestinian terrorists. Because decades of hatred are leading down a road that could end in a scenario like the above. When Yasser Arafat tells palestinian children that their highest honor in life is to die as "shahids" while killing Jews, it sets up the possibility that the palestinian state is considered expendable if the Islamofascists can also take out Israel. Come to think of it, that must be exactly what the rest of the Islamofascists already believe, because most of them have refused to allow pals to become citizens or settle in their lands, and many have kicked them out (see: Kuwait, after the war, half a million palestinian laborers thrown out).
And after all, the Dome of the Rock is only the third holiest shrine in Islam. They may decide they can live quite well with just Mecca and Medina. Their imams set the precedents every day, in every nation.
The current road map is leading directly towards my nightmare scenario, because nobody is demanding anything from the pals at all. They are only making excuses, and blaming Israelas alwaysfor the woes of the palestinians. And still the level of hatred rises. A terrorist declares "We will maintain our jihad (holy war) and resistance until we kick out every single criminal Zionist from our land," but the world ignores his words and excoriates Israel for having tried to kill him.
It is entirely possible that I have finally achieved the mental and emotional balance to be able to rant about the horrors of daily life in Israel and shortly thereafter discuss my aversion to dragonflies on my patio.
Daniel S. sent me a suggestion on how to handle future creepy-crawly issues.
Well, that certainly sounds like a reasonable suggestion, except for the fact that I generally refuse to smash any insect that is not a mosquito. I'll kill any ants I find in my house because I do not want them running back to the nest with the coordinates of my pantry or the cats' food dishes. But I don't even squash bees. I tend to catch and release them. I really, really, really don't like killing bugs.
Computer problem update
It seems I may have spent an hour and a half cleaning my keyboard all for naught. It's pretty clear to me my system is starting to break down bit by bit, which rather sucks, as it's only four years old, and I don't have a grand to spend on a new computer. But the most annoying thingthe absolutely most effing annoying thing that could possibly have happened this month out of all monthsis the loss of my number six key. Go ahead. You try typing the date for June without a six key. I dare you. I triple-dog dare you. Can't do it, can you?
Yeah, neither can I. Goddammit.
Waiting at the car dealership
So I get to the dealer, and tell them I'm there to get my door handle fixed. This will entail having them get the screw that they special-ordered, and having someone put it in the slot on my door handle that is missing one. Two minutes, tops. I said when I got there, "You're not really going to make me wait for this, are you?" The gentleman who was taking my information got on the phone with the garage, and subsequently informed me that yes, I have to wait, and it would take 45 minutes for me to get that screw put in the door handle.
I took the screw home with me and will now be searching for some kind of funky screwdriver to put it in with. I'm pretty sure G., Heidi's husband, has one. He loves doing stuff like this; I'll be there for dinner on Friday, I won't have to take the screw to Loews or Home Depot and try to find a screwdriver to fit it, and everyone will be happy.
Oh, I used the 45 minutes in a much better fashion. I went to IHOP and had waffles, which did not take 45 minutes, but which was infinitely more enjoyable than waiting at a car dealership. Which had the 700 Club on. Uh, I'll pass, thanks. permalink
I really, really, really hate bugs
There's a dragonfly on my patio. It is near death. I expect Tig caught it earlier today and deposited it at the door, and that's why I kept hearing (and ignoring) frantic scratching on the door. Because he wanted to bring his prize inside. It's a big one, too. Really big.
Well, it's near death, and the ants have found it, and it's right at my doorstep, and it needs to be moved far, far, away, and I do not want to touch it, not even with a newspaper or dustpan.
It is times like these that I wish I had a husband. It is also times like these that make Heidi laugh the loudest at me. She spent her formative years in Africa. Not only doesn't she have a problem with insects, but she doesn't have a problem with much of anything. When I told her I'd found mealworms in my Rice Krispies once, she just shrugged and said, "Oh, we used to sift them out of the flour and things when we needed to use them." (Use the flour, not mealworms.) There's not a whole lot that gets to her.
I wish she were here right now. I'd get her to move the dragonfly. Let the friggin' ants take their food out and eat it, please. My patio is not a restaurant.
Update: I forgot I have a digital camera. Now, with pictures! Uh, plus, it's dead, Jim. permalink
Ha! Who says those years of English classes were a waste of time? permalink
From Abu Mazen yesterday:
From Abu Mazen today:
From Kofi Annan yesterday:
From Kofi Annan today:
I am stunned by the level of world outrage regarding the murder of innocent Israeli citizens. Why, it's almost as if they didn't care about them. Or as if the brunt of blame only falls on Israel's shoulders when violence occurs. But that can't be, can it?
There's one more thing you need to read.
Unfortunately, they missed one. It wasn't a revenge attack for Dr. Death. It washold on to your stomachsa "fortuitous coincidence."
God save us from any more such coincidences. permalink
I am up early enough to write a new post before getting my car fixed.
My mind is not. (On the other hand, by posting this it puts my blog in the NEW! categories on most blogrolls.)
Read the one below instead. permalink
Okay, first I was over at Silent Running, which blog, of course, I read and link to frequently (although someone isn't posting nearly enough anymore, cough*Bruce*cough). And Wind Rider was talking about Bill Cimino, whom you may remember from the Eat An Animal For PETA day back in March (and who promised to throw a pool party in May, but who was defeated by the weather and now it's June so what's your effing excuse, Cimino?). And on Bill's blog, I found a link to Sanity's Edge, a great new blog that I simply had to tell you all about. This one's funny, especially the title. This one's funnier. And this one is not only funny, it pissed off a humorless moron at another blog, which gets Paul on my honor roll. Plus, I have every intention of stealing his Newhart idea, since he's too lazy to do it himself.
Last, but not least, his analysis of the recent events in Israel is insightful, succinct, and, well, just about perfect. Nicely done, Paul.
This isn't Da Bear's contest, but I can throw you some hang time on my main page, which ought to get you a few new readers. And the reason it will have hang time is because I'm off to the car dealership this morning for what should be a two minute jobthe screw on my door handle came off and they had to actually order a new one to replace it. So, since it should only take two minutes, I'm laying odds I'll be there an hour and a half.
Hang time. Count on it. permalink
Found this search referrer tonight: Why can't men produce a fetus?
Leaving aside the biological answers to that question, the thing that strikes the biggest fear into me is that by the time we're all about four or five years old, we have learned that women have babies and men do not. If you're old enough to be able to type the above question into a search engine, it stands to reason that you have learned by now exactly why men cannot produce a fetus.
Of course, the flip side of the coin: I received a search for this earlier in the evening. Perhaps my two searchers could get together and teach each other something.
It occurs to me that I created too much work for those of you who wanted to see a couple of pages worth of cat pictures. (The low bandwidth folks are still going to have to go to Cattales, though.)
(You know, I just glanced at that headline quickly, and the word "click" sure looked like something else at a fast glance, and, um, yeah, I'll just stop typing now.)
Some people think he's a bit of a wise guy. I say he's brilliant. He's got a link to the mutaween (who of course, must now be known as mutaweenies) web site. Who are the mutaweenies? The Saudi religious police, who make sure that dangerous things like Barbie dolls are confiscated from little Saudi girls.
You can rat out your fellow Saudis on the mutaweenie web site. Bigwig thinks we should add our own little creative additions to the form, and explains how in this post. My suggestion: Go get some royal family names and use your imagination. permalink
Apparently, while I was sleeping, Israeli fired a few missiles at Abdel Aziz Rantisi, whom Charles Johnson calls "The Pediatrician of Death." Alas, he escaped with non-life-threatening wounds.
The President is denouncing the assassination attempt. He says he's "deeply troubled."
For those who don't want to click on the link (and by the way, if you're using Windows, shift/left click will open the link in a new window), it details the kinds and number of terrorist attacks on Israelis. There were 278 attacks, and they include the following categories:
So, what's happened since the road map was implemented? Well, let's see.
Israel started evacuating illegal settlements in the West Bank. Israel freed Palestinian prisoners, including a man who murdered 13 Israelis in the 1970s. Two Israeli citizens were murdered in Jerusalem. Five Israeli soldiers were killed. Many attempted suicide bombings were prevented. Oh, and Rantisis said this just a few days ago:
The President should be deeply troubled that this bastard is still alive, not that Israel tried to kill him.
And once again, the double standard for Israel rears its head. She must stand still and take whatever the Arabs dish out. It isn't terrorism if the end result is dead Jews, apparently, and not even dead American Jews. Shame on the President, and shame on all who hold this double standard. Terrorism is terrorism. permalink
Looks like someone else has a bit of a Hulk fixation.
I'm working on a post that may rile up an awful lot of bloggers, but hey, what's life without a little controversy? permalink
The Klan argument revisited
If you haven't read this post yet, you need it for background.
Dave Sims answered my comments over at Susanna Cornett's. He can't seem to get past the ad hominem attacks, but he has synopsizedsort ofhis beef with me. Besides the fact that he doesn't seem to like having his opinion questioned, that is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you are, but what am I? Get to the point. (Oooh, scare quotes around "thought" processes. I think I'm really "insulted" now.)
That's pretty breathtaking logic. Got any facts to back it up?
So that would be a no?
Indeed, I agree. The argument bears much more study. Let's start with what Sims has written. This was his methodology:
Hoo-boy, that is some in-depth study of the attitudes of the members of the Ku Klux Klanjust follow some stupid-looking fuckers in pickup trucks, and talk to them. How many did he talk to? We still don't know. He quotes a total of three in his post. When questioned on any statistics to back up his facts, he said (Susanna's comments again)
Once again, he is "quoting" (oh, sorry, I caught the scare quotes thing from him again) the three or so men that he spoke to sixteen years ago. Quite a scientific representation of the attitudes of both Klan members and poor or lower-middle class white menwho, according to his logic, are all in the Klan, or want to be, because no one else is paying attention to their needs.
Here's the reason I won't answer his argument point by point: His argument is crap. The basic underpinning of his argument is that "poor and lower-middle class whites feel ignored at all levels of government," and as a result, are joining the Klan, where their arguments, miraculously, are being heard and addressed. (But not in a racist manner. Oh, no.)
This is pure, unadulterated bullshit. A quick Google search brought back 297,000 returns on "reverse discrimination." More than 50,000 returns on "no more racial quotas." You can even get a large response on "stop busing for racial integration." Clearly, these issues are being addressed.
Further, if no one is addressing these issues, perhaps Sims could tell me how a racist bastard like David Duke got elected senator in the Louisiana state legislature. And how he was nearly elected governor as well.
Sims' argument is false. He is making up information, putting it forth as fact, and getting insulting and defensive when being asked to supply sources. His post is being trotted out in certain portions of the blogosphere as "bold" and "brave" and "gutsy" for this. And I say the argument, and Sims, are none of those. The post is crap. His points are crap. Sims is full of crap. And my regular readers know that I have never, ever resorted to refuting an argument this way before, which I think tells you two things: How furious this man's assertions have made me, and how little I think of his point. I think this is an excellent example of the worst of blogging: Putting forth an opinion because you think it's so, not because you can prove it to be so.
On the other hand, it's a perfect example of why editors and fact-checkers are a part of mainstream media, and why the better bloggers do their best to put forward fact-based arguments. Because if they don't, they look like idiots, and their arguments get torn to shreds.
You know the sayingWhy let something like the facts get in the way of a good argument?
This is why. permalink
I found this search today, and I'm simply in awe of the misuse of language it represents: How to get big muslims in less than ten weeks. Maybe like this: Hey, big boy, wanna see my burqa?
I found this one today, too, and it's rather scary. I hope he never finds out how. It's bad enough there's one of them in the world.
Yes, this describes my weblog perfectly.
On the other hand, I'm not sure what's more frighteningthat my blog is number 9 on this search, or that someone is actually looking for it. There are a lot of sick people out there.
Speaking of questionswere we speaking of questions? Whatever. I've got two that have been hanging around in the Temp file for a while now.
In the rush to change the names of all things French, do we now have to call it a Freedom kiss?
When your eye itches, is it the eyelid that itches, or the eyeball? I mean, really, how can you tell which one it is?
These are the things I think about when my mind is in it's wandering mode.
There, I've cleaned out some of the things I've been meaning to post. Maybe I'll actually finish revising my greatest hits pages (if only I could remember where I left off).
By the way, have I mentioned that I'm pretty sure I've got the Hulk committed to reviewing the Hulk movie? That oughta be a blast. Well, I hope not literally. He wants me to come with him to the screening, but I'm afraid it would be hazardous to my health. As well as to anyone else in the theater, or in a three-mile radius, for that matter. (Ooh. Now I want to play the game that Scott found for me.) permalink
In any case, Susanna answered my post wherein I called her on what I thought was a slam at all liberals-slash-leftists (it's at the very end of the Klan post). Apparently it's a misunderstanding of nomenclature. (I am so into big words today.) Susanna meant to tar what I call the loony left, and what many conservative bloggers and writers call "the left," which is why I thought she meant me and my like-thinking pals. But she didn't.
So I take back all the mean things I said. And I thank you, Susanna, for not slamming us all like far too many other conservabloggers do.
Oh, wait. I didn't say mean things. But I will say this: We simply have to find a single term for the lunatics and stick with it to prevent misunderstandings like this in the future.
And Susanna, some of my best friends are liberals. But their husbands are conservative. Well, one of them is, anyway. permalink
I made it to the second level on my first try, which is actually quite an accomplishment for me. I was waiting for more vehicles to attack when I finally said to myself, "I wonder if Hulk can smash those buildings?"
Of course he can. That's what Hulks do the bestest. Thanks, Scott.
While you're at AMCGLTD, look around. There's another baby post by Ellen. My favorite part:
The Washington Post headline: Palestinian Condemns Attacks by Militant Groups. Shimon B. finds it amusing to note the singular noun in the headline, conjuring up images of a lone palestinian condemning the attacks while the rest of the population applauds. Except that Abbas didn't condemn them.
The article excerpt:
That's not condemnation. But it's to be expected.
How sweet. He opposes all violence. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside; how about you?
Of course, the first phase of the road map calls on the pals to end all terror attacks. I'm guessing they're not going to get to the first phase. Also, I noticed that their spin on the summit meetings didn't fully take. Over and over again, you read the phrase "The Israelis gave us nothing!" This came straight from the rat-bastard in Ramallah's mouth, and also from Rantisi after he called off "negotiations" with Abbas. But the phrase has melted away.
If anyone out there still doesn't believe that Arafat is pulling all the strings, I've got a bridge to sell you. But wait, you may not have to buy it. There's always this:
Someone told me that they thought AIPAC's positive messages that I heard the other week were merely the frantic spin that AIPAC was putting on the situation. Well, now I agree with her. It's Oslo all over again, and Jews are going to die because of it. It's terrorism everywhere but in Israel. Even the Roman Muslims agree.
Thus endeth the depressing Monday Morning Jew-hatred report. We'll be back later with more, as Jew-hating and Jew-killing are two of the world's most popular sports.
Wow, I'm depressing myself with that one. Time to go watch a Buffy DVD. permalink
Hugh Jackman hosting: I don't care if his hair's too long. The man sings, too. Ladies, back off. He's mine. You can have Billy Joel. He got ugly. I don't want him. (If only Hugh were a baritone, he'd be perfect. No, a baritone, and Jewish. Now that would be perfection.)
There was a large amount of gayness at the Tony Awards tonight. Or is that just being redundant?
I sang "The Impossible Dream" in chorus in sixth grade, and it's astonishing how the lyrics to that song have never left me. Okay, so maybe the fact that I also spent a week in college attending all of the rehearsals leading up to the opening of the show had something to do with it, too. I was researching for a feature article about the student theater group. But I also know the lyrics to "The Girl From Ipanema." (She looks straight ahead, not at me.)
Sarah Jessica Parker really should let someone else dress her. She has awful taste in formal wear.
Mary Stuart Masterson is no longer a blonde. She looks a lot smarter. And that hairdovery sophisticated. You've come a long way from Fried Green Tomatoes, dear.
Jane Krakowski, a Jersey girl, won the Tony tonight. May I say: HA-ha. John Spencer's from New Jersey, too. (Leo, from the West Wing.) Good for him. (This moment of granfalloonism is now officially over.)
Bebe Neuwirth an Ann Reinking standing next to each other, displaying two pairs of the most amazing legs on Broadway. All they needed to do was add Chita Rivera and Twyla Tharp would have had heart failure trying to think of how she could get the three of them together in one play.
That speech by Twyla Tharp: I'm glad she explained to us that she was happy to win the award, because judging by her expression, she'd have been happier undergoing root canal. Wow, not even a grin, let alone a smile.
By the way, I listened to almost none of the speeches. Yawn, yawn, yawn. Thank heaven for the mute button. Whoops, Hugh's back on, sound please!
I did not vote for the CBS online poll of "Best Tony-Award-winning play ever," because I find those polls to be, well, stupid. It's impossible to choose one play and call it the best play ever. Okay, Death of a Salesman is definitely in the top ten, but did they even mention musicals? Try to narrow down even just the musicals (no, Andrew Lloyd Weber plays do not count in this category; they go into the Composers That Really Suck category), and you find yourself having to choose between Comden & Green and Rodgers & Hammerstein and Lerner & Loew and Sondheim and Bernstein and those French dudes that wrote Les Miz (do not even begin to think that anything ever written by Elton John or taken from a Disney cartoon belongs on any such list, or I shall have to kill you tomorrow), and gawd, I can't even begin to narrow them down. And what about the Gershwins?
Okay, so Hairspray cleaned up. But you have to really adore the speech by Marissa Jaret Winokur. It was sweet and wonderful. She's right: If a short, chubby girl from New York can win the Tony for Best Actress in a Musical, anything can happen. Like seeing Harvey Fierstein win Best Actor in a musical for playing a woman. (She called Harvey her Hairspray mom. I don't doubt he is; he seems like a wonderful person.)
It's so strange that I can feel happy for Lynn Redgrave for being happy her sister won the Tony while still loathing Vanessa Redgrave for being the dried-up old Jew-hating bitch that she is. Well, at least she kept her politics out of her acceptance speech.
Brian Dennehy is becoming the Stevie Wonder of the Tony Awards. They better hope he's not in a play next year.
Hugh Jackman ended the show by leading the audience in a rendition of "Oh, What a Beatiful Morning" from Oklahoma!
Ohmigod, I'm in love. Marry me, Hugh. permalink
The terrorists' message:
Translation: "Fuck you, America. We have no intention of stopping the killing of Jews, so go sell your goods somewhere else."
The Road Map is a stillborn, in spite of Condoleeza Rice's wishes to the contrary. Don't forget that Fatah is controlled by Yasser Arafat. permalink
If you didn't read the blog over the weekend, you missed this post about the Klan, and why it is not an organization filled with "pleasant, rational men." Please read it.
Last week's blogs are archived. Looking for the Buffy Blogburst Index? Here's Israel vs. the world. Here's the Blogathon. The Superhero Dating Ratings are here. If you're looking for something funny, try the Hulk's solution to the Middle East conflict, or Yasser Arafat Secret Phone Transcripts. Iseema bin Laden's diary and The Fudd Doctrine are also good bets if you've never been here before.