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Iseema bin Laden

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Frequently Asked Questions as of 3/6/02

Where's the new new stuff?

I read all this before. Where's the new stuff?
Here. Geez. Impatient, aren't we?

Who are you?
Meryl Yourish. I write this blog.

Why am I here?
Someone tricked you into clicking somewhere, and now you have to give me a dollar in order to leave.

Where are your email and linking policy statements?
On the contacts page.

Howcome there aren't any surveys on this site?
Because all of the "Which X are you?" surveys are as interesting to me as watching an ant wear a path in flagstone. I prefer the long, difficult road to Daypop stardom: Try writing interesting things in your weblog, and readers will come.

What is it with you and bugs?
I don't care for them, and they don't care for me. I also don't like indoor plants if I have to take care of them, any housepet that doesn't bark or purr, and all of this seventies nostalgia. People, the styles were ugly then, and they're ugly now. Stop lying to yourselves. Look in the mirror!

I thought your bio says you're a liberal; howcome you don't lean very far to the left?
If you lean too far in any direction, you'll fall over.

I thought your bio says you're a liberal, howcome you lean so far to the right?
See below.

I thought your bio says you're a liberal, howcome you take different sides depending on the issue?
Because I'm a liar. Either that, or I believe in changing your opinion over time if the facts demand it.

What about Naomi?
That was the tagline of the soap opera "Love of Chair" from the old PBS show The Electric Company. That and Letterman (as in Superman, not David) were my favorite skits.

Why do you hate John Edward so much?
I don't hate the man; I despise him. There's a difference.

Okay, why do you despise John Edward?
He steals money from stupid people.

How can you say they're stupid?
Because they pay someone money to talk to their dead relatives. That action screams "I'm STUPID!" to me.

If John Edward stole money from smart people, what would you call him?
A stock analyst.

Why do you write this blog?
I like to write, and I like people to read what I write. Weblogs are a wonderful tool for that.

Is this weblog supposed to be humorous or serious?

If you were a tree, which tree would you be?
If you knew how incredibly stupid I find that question, you wouldn't be asking it.

Oh, so now you hate Barbara Walters?
No, just that stupid, insipid question.

Are you available?
For what? Writing? HTML? Web development? Dates? Depends on who's asking.

Is this site family-friendly?
I love families. Many of my friends have them. I come from one. Oh, you mean do I swear here? Yes. If you don't like it, avert your eyes until I'm finished.

Howcome you have those stupid "TOP" links all over your pages?
I like to make things easier for my readers. I figure if you're going to be long-winded and make people scroll down, they should be able to scroll back up a lot easier.

Why does it seem like this is part website, part weblog?
Because it is.

What is the point of this weblog?
Damned if I know. If I find one, I'll definitely tell you.

You keep talking about your fiancé. Who is he?
Uh, well—that's rather complicated. I'm not really engaged. Bill Herbert is my current "fiancé." It used to be Tom Paine, who has another name that we're not supposed to mention. It started as a kind of gag. I made it my ultimate compliment to a (male) writer whose work I admire: I ask them to marry me. Bruce said yes, but then Bill was doing some excellent work months ago, and I ultimately threw Bruce over for Bill, not least of which is the fact that Bill and I share the same hemisphere. I expect being the fickle woman that I am I will someday throw over Bill for someone else, but for now, he's my guy.

You keep talking about this Heidi person and her family. Who are they?
Heidi's my best friend. Sorena is her daughter. G. is her husband. Worf and Willow are her Rhodesian Ridgebacks, and Sparty is their miniature poodle.

What do you do all day, anyway?
Lots of things. Oh, you mean what do I do for a living? Lots of things. Oh, you mean how do I make money to live on? None of your business.

I really like the Hulk stuff. How long do you intend to keep writing Hulk into your weblog?
Until the day I get a cease-and-desist letter from Marvel Entertainment Group. But I'm hoping that will never happen.

I really hate all the Hulk stuff. How long do you intend to keep writing Hulk into your weblog?
See above. You can skip those posts; I won't mind. (Cretin.)

What's with the addition of the Paypal and Amazon tipjars?
I've finally decided to become voluntary subscription-only. (Yes, take a moment to wrap yourself around that contradiction in terms.)

Well, I'm not going to give you a dime.
That's your decision. Say, what did you want me to write about again? Drop me an email with the headline "I'm not going to give you a dime," will you? (Bitter? Me? Never.)