Friday, briefly

Oh, yeah. Egyptians want peace with Israel: The Egyptians are refusing to resume supplying natural gas, for which Israel contracted and is paying, to Israel. The company supplies 45% of Israel’s electricity needs. Say, you think we’re going to hear the UN howl about how Israelis are being deprived of their right to electricity? Unfortunately, the Leviathan natural gas won’t be reaching Israel until 2013.

It’s all or nothing for Abbas: You know, here’s the thing. He doesn’t want a Palestinian state. He turned it down when Olmert offered him pretty much everything he wants. He’s going around the world getting people to recognize the fictional state of Palestine without sitting down and negotiating things like, oh, borders, airspace, and armies. He won’t take a transitional state. So what happens when he gets the UN to vote on recognizing Palestine? Does he think the world is going to send an army to make Israel comply? Because the UN won’t even send troops to Libya to defend them against a madman dictator. Oh, wait. I keep forgetting. The Exception Clause is in effect. The UN will never force a nation to do what it doesn’t want to do, no matter what the situation—Except for Israel.

The British PM is making sense: This is the second British Prime Minister in a row to acknowledge that Israel is being attacked by terrorists. David Cameron says Israel has the right to search ships heading to Gaza. Whoa. You are so going to be excoriated by the Guardian for that, David. (I’m sure he cares. Not.) Now, put your money where your mouth is, and stop letting your country restrict valuable parts being sold to the IDF.

Well, it’s not Patrick Henry, but it’ll do:Victory or death,” says the leader of the Libyan rebels. I’m rooting for victory. Put that mad dog down. Someone at work got really upset when I said Gaddafy needs to be killed. This person thinks exile is good enough. Nope. I’m with Abdullah Henry above: Victory or death, preferably death to the dictator.

Posted in Israel, Middle East, palestinian politics | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Fart on, dudes!

Malawi is introducing a law that will make farting in public a misdemeanor.

Yes, really.

The Local Courts Bill, to be introduced next week, reads: “Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way, shall be guilty of a misdemeanour.”

What absolutely floors me about this is not that the AP covered it, but that they found someone to quote.

“We all fart in public and it will be difficult to tell who has done it. Some do it silently. It some cases it is like teargas which goes like shhhh! Our legislators need to concentrate on discussing development projects. They should not waste our time and money on childish issues. It would make sense if they talked about defecating and urinating anyhow but not farting. This will not work. We will keep on farting.” he said.

Awesome. My inner fourth-grader is laughing hysterically.

Posted in Humor | Comments Off on Fart on, dudes!

Thursday news briefs

Yeah, but this time, you’ll be boycotted: India.Arie, a singer whom I’ve never heard of ’til today (sorry, I’m just not hip anymore), is releasing her new album with songs in Hebrew and English, in collaboration with Israeli singer Idan Raichel. Get ready for the boycott calls, sweetie. I have the feeling, though, that this woman is going to be able to handle them. Click over and see how you like her. She’s got a beautiful voice.

Sirhan Sirhan: Slammer Stay Set. Like the comedian said the last time Sirhan Sirhan said that if Bobby Kennedy were alive, he’d vote for parole: “Sucks that he killed the only guy that would set him free!” This time, he claims he’s full of remorse, thinks about it every day. Just look how remorseful he is. This is a dialogue between him and the panel:

He noted the impact on the Kennedy family, which had endured another tragedy five years before with the killing of President John F. Kennedy.

At that point, Sirhan interjected, “That’s not my responsibility.”

Yeah, now that’s remorse. Say it with me, folks: Asshole.

The Incredible Shrinking President: Peter Wehner talks about Fouad Ajami’s description of the constantly-reducing public role of Barack Obama on the international stage. And I simply had to use that subhead.

How stupid is the Obama administration? This stupid. Hillary Clinton says the U.S. should continue to fund the Lebanese army even though Hizbullah is getting more and more control over the country.

The Lebanese army “cooperates with the United Nations mission in the south, to try to keep the peace there,” she said.

Really? Would that be the same Lebanese Army that ambushed Israeli soldiers clearing brush on the Israeli side of the Blue Line, killing Lt. Col. Dov Hariri, who wasn’t even near the brush-clearing crew?

Oh, yeah. We should totally give them $100 million a year.

Obama to American Jews: Pressure Israel to make peace. Meryl to Obama: [censored]. Yep, he’s doing it again, trying to set Jew against Jew. Have we ever heard Obama tell the Palestinians to pressure Hamas to make peace? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Obama said Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas is eager to secure his legacy by establishing a Palestinian state and would accept a decent offer if one were on the table, according to participants.

“The Palestinians don’t feel confident that the Netanyahu government is serious about territorial concessions,” the president reportedly said.

Obama reportedly said that the Jewish sections of Jerusalem would remain in Israeli hands as part of any peace deal, but that the Arab sections would not.

Who gives a shit that Abbas wants to secure his legacy? You make peace because it’s the right thing to do, not because the world will give you a prize for it. And Obama is utterly snowed by the lies of the Palestinians. They don’t want peace. They want Israel to become Palestine.

Posted in Israel, Lebanon, Middle East, palestinian politics, Terrorism, The One | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Yerusha

Yerusha is a website for older, childless Jews. Anna Olswanger is looking for people interested in finding or starting groups in their area. As I will likely never have a child of my own, this cuts close to my heart.

Posted in Jews | 2 Comments

Wednesday, briefly

America hearts Israel: Support for Israel is near an all-time high. Let’s hear again how Jews control Congress, and that’s why the U.S. supports Israel, because it’s not like, oh, 63% of Americans sympathize more with the Israelis than the Palestinians. No word on how many of the 17% who favor the Palestinians are members of J Street.

Perhaps if they didn’t keep throwing money at third-generation Palestinian “refugees”: NGOs are having trouble handling Libyan refugees. Gee, maybe if the UN didn’t keep pouring hundreds of millions of dollars a year into UNRWA, there would be more money and aid available to actual refugees. But no, we have to keep beating on Israel.

Hamas, the Holocaust deniers: This will be interesting. Hamas is saying it will stop the UN from teaching about the Holocaust in UNRWA camps. Let’s see who wins. My prediction: Violence will be involved, and downplayed by the UN. Or blamed on Israel.

If you’re Arab and you know it, blame the Jews: I swear, sometimes that’s all it takes. Amr Moussa is blaming Israel for trying to prevent him from running for president of Egypt. Why is he doing this? Because blaming Israel is the most popular theme in the Middle East. Oh, let’s face it: Blaming Israel is the world’s favorite obsession.

Just your run-of-the-mill European anti-Semite: When you are blatantly anti-Semitic and professing your drunken love for Hitler, dude, your job is toast. The fact that Galliano worked for one of the world’s biggest fashion houses? Feh. Doesn’t everyone hate the Jews a little, really? Except for those Americans, but they’re so provincial, darling. By the way, Galliano? Hate you too, bitch.

Posted in Anti-Semitism, Hamas, Holocaust, Israel Derangement Syndrome, Middle East, United Nations | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

The awesome power of the Jooooooooos

I don’t know whether this belongs under Jew Cooties or Israel Derangement Syndrome, but it is the most awesomely awesome paranoid Jew thing out of Iran since the Star of David on the roof of whatever the hell that building was.

Iran says it’s going to boycott the London Olympics because the symbol looks like it spells the word “Zion.”

Judge for yourself, and laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

London 2012 Olympics logo

In a formal complaint to the International Olympic Committee, Tehran has called for the graphic to be replaced and its designers “confronted”, warning that Iranian athletes might otherwise be ordered to stay away from the London Games.

According to the state-backed Iranian Students News Agency, which is frequently used to convey official pronouncements, the letter says: “As internet documents have proved, using the word Zion in the logo of the 2012 Olympic Games is a disgracing action and against the Olympics’ valuable mottos.

Yes, us wily Jews. We live in your minds, rent-free … all the time.

Update: Instalink! Thanks, Glenn!

Posted in Iran, Israel Derangement Syndrome, Jew Cooties | 52 Comments

Moammar Gadhafi and his potential heirs

By now there is an almost worldwide consensus about the need to get rid of the dictator, a consensus bucked only by a few odious characters like Hugo the Comical Chavez, Fidel the Beard Castro and, not so strangely, Nicaraguan strong man Daniel Ortega. Even Mahmoud the Mad expressed his reservations about the other madman of the Muslim world (probably looking forward to remaining alone at the summit of madness).

While the world is buzzing and loudly supporting the idea of freeing itself of Gadhafi, the question of his replacement is sounding very quietly, if at all. And it’s a pity, because some strange things are happening in the background almost unnoticed, while Libyans are fighting against the regime. A good sample is this article from CNN.

Meanwhile, Libya’s deputy amassador to the world body, Ibrahim Dabbashi, indicated Saturday that he and fellow diplomats “support … in principle” a caretaker administration to lead Libya under the direction of former Justice Minister Mustafa Abdul Jalil.

The former Justice Minister Mustafa Abdul Jalil (or Mustafa Abud Al Jeleil according to Wiki) is rather an unknown entity so far. Even his career in Gadhafi’s government is not yet documented (at least in English) for public. For the sake of fairness: he appeared as a good guy before the current uprising, in August 2010, when he “has reportedly taken a strong stance against arbitrary arrests and prolonged detention without trial“. Good for him. His other anti-Gadhafi actions, starting with his resignation, all date several days after the revolt in Libya got serious.

But the chief point in favor of the man who, according to some rumors, has already been crowned as, at least, a head of the new interim government, is his “revelation” about Gadhafi’s role in the Lockerbie bombing.

I have evidence that Gadhafi ordered the Lockerbie,” Mustafa Abdul Jalil is reported to have told the newspaper [Swedish tabloid Expressen], though the article cited no specifics.

Wow. So a hitherto unknown minister has evidence of a crime that, presented to appropriate authorities, can put the tyrant into hot (or even boiling) water indeed. This is a big deal. Or… but let’s take it slowly. First of all, the tyrant in question is being deposed as we speak and, besides, he submits his readiness to die fighting anyhow. So, if the revolt succeeds, the newly surfaced evidence will hardly be of any value, unless we are talking about the history books. And anyhow there was little doubt that Gadhafi gave the order. Not that this knowledge prevented many a Western politico from exchanging spit with the bastard. But it was a side remark, let’s go back to our interim chief.

So, the real question to be asked is: how did it so happen that the evidence of the tyrant’s complicity in an act of mass murder surfaced only now, after the beginning of the revolt and our good minister resignation? No doubt we’ll soon know more about Mr Abdul Jalil and his years in the Libyan government. However, it is highly doubtful that this evidence fell into his hands only recently. And if so, meaning if Mr Abdul Jalil knew about the evidence all these years, are we looking at a sudden inflammation of hitherto comfortably sleeping conscience? Or at something else?

If my doubt has any legs, what we are looking at is not exactly an exalted freedom fighter. And not even a rat fleeing the sinking ship. Rather a rat using the current calamity to become a captain.

And more: if Mr Abdul Jalil has chosen to come up with the truth on Lockerbie bombing right now, after years of silence, just because his boss is going to fall down hard, it makes him not exactly a hero – rather an accomplice, stupid one to boot.

We shall know soon.

Cross-posted on SimplyJews

Posted in Middle East, World | Comments Off on Moammar Gadhafi and his potential heirs

Oscar thoughts

How do you give the awards for sound editing and mixing to Inception, but not the best score? Toy Story3 ? Seriously? Toy Story 3? No comparison to the Inception soundtrack.

Well, at least they gave the right film best costume design.

(Actually, I’m sitting here going, “don’t care” to most of the minor awards because, well, I don’t.)

James Franco and Anne Hathaway are wonderful. Good writing for those two, boy. Loved the big song number on my man Hugh.

You have to be kidding me. Obama taped a bit for the Oscars? Can you say, “Unbelievable narcissist”? Of course you can.

Wow, Kevin Spacey can sing, too. Better than Randy Newman.

Posted in Movies | 4 Comments

Still getting the hang of the new theme

The Widgets thing isn’t working exactly the way it’s supposed to, or I’m not understanding it. My entire blogroll is only showing up on the secondary pages, not the main page. For some reason, most of the things I’m adding to the main page are only showing up on secondary pages (when you click on a post). Update: And now, of course, it’s working on the main page. Sigh.

I did, however, successfully change the header photo. I think I’ll be looking for horizontal shots of Tig and Gracie from now on, as the header is a really annoying 940×198, and Tig is generally not that long and slim. Fluffy boy, remember.

I’m also allowing trackbacks unless the spammers hit them too hard. I turned them off years ago for that reason.

Posted in Site news | 3 Comments

Sunday briefs

When they said “restart button,” did they mean the Soviets arming Israel’s enemies? Because that’s what’s happening. Russia is sending ship-killing cruise missiles to Syria. Gee. Wonder where they’re going to end up? [cough] Lebanon! [cough]

The Obama Doctrine defined: And apparently it’s, “Let the UN take care of business.” The Security Council issued sanctions against Libya and referred Ghaddafy to the ICJ for war crimes. Did he send the Sixth Fleet towards Libya? Did he help the people of Libya by getting a no-fly zone enforced? Nope. Not our problem, apparently. The fact that world oil prices are crashing upwards at warp speed? Feh. Obama wants $5/gallon gas. He thinks that would cause Americans to conserve more. And screw the economy. He can always print more money, right? And raise more taxes. Right? Right? Anyone? Bueller?

Another kassam, another biased Hamas news release from the media: They’re landing daily now, and get a load of this biased piece of crap by AFP. In the lead, third paragraph:

The missile fire came after the Israeli military launched on Saturday overnight air raids across the Gaza Strip, targeting militant training camps.

Really? That’s why the missile was fired?

No. In the seventh paragraph, after devoting four paragraphs to the Israeli “raids,” we are given this information:

The air raids came after tensions rose along the Israel-Gaza border this week following clashes in which an Islamic Jihad gunman was killed and a rocket attack on the Israeli city of Beersheba that hit a house but caused no casualties.

That’s barely an explanation of what happened. Here’s how it actually occurred: Terrorists set off bombs on the border and fired mortars at the IDF. The IDF returned fire, hitting the terrorists. Terrorists then sent a Grad rocket into Beersheba. The IDF then targeted Islamic Jihad and Hamas terrorist rocket squads. But you wouldn’t know that if you only read the wire services, which always see the cause as IDF “retaliation,” not the attacks that caused the “retaliation.” But of course, that’s not the narrative the media wants you to read.

Posted in Gaza, Hamas, Israel, The One, United Nations | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Updating

Yes, I finally updated the site. There should be a new theme coming along soon as well. As always, Jay was my go-to guy to help make things happen. We’ve been friends since the beginning of my blogging days, which is, wow… Jay, I started ten years ago in April. It’s been a long time.

There is much new in my life this weekend. I bought a Roku box and a Garmin GPS, both of which arrived during the power outage of yesterday afternoon. Tested the Garmin on the way to last night’s services for Emily’s bat mitzvah (she did a wonderful job last night and this morning!). We had a difference of opinion on the fastest way to the main drag, but since I was driving, I won.

The Roku box got installed and tested today. I just watched the first episode of the latest British Robin Hood series, which I wanted to see, but didn’t have BBC on Comcast when it came out. It’s free if you have Amazon Prime. I downloaded the first episode in ten seconds.. Holy crap, that’s fast. In HD, too. Fairly simple to set up, though there’s no off switch. I may just unplug it when I’m not using it. I don’t see the point in leaving it on. Oh, wait. I think I can stream stuff via my computer if I leave it on. Naaaah. I’ll just turn it on when I need it.

And that’s it for me and spending money. This year I’m going to save and invest in my retirement. I’m all caught up on furniture for the condo and other things. Time to catch up on my future.

Posted in Life, Site news | 1 Comment

The fun part of owning cats

You know what’s worse than hearing a cat hack up a hairball in the middle of the night (when you just can’t get out of bed to clean up a mess because it’s three a.m. and you’re freaking exhausted)?

Not being able to find it the next day.

Sigh. I’m going to get a nasty surprise someday when I least expect it.

Posted in Cats | 2 Comments

Friday news roundups

The first domino is down: Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker wins the first stage of the vote to strip public-sector unions of the ability to negotiate benefits. I think it should have covered everything. Public-sector employees should not be allowed to unionize. When they strike, they strike against us—the people who pay them are taxpayers, not big corporate honchos. Nope. Who are the real corporate honchos? Those would be the union bosses, every last one of them pulling six-figure salaries. You know how much every single one of my jobs has paid into a pension fund for me? Zero. I’ve never had a pension offered. Oh, wait. If I had made it past part-time flexi at the Post Office, I’d have had a pension. Are we seeing a pattern here? Of course we are, but that’s because the readers of this blog probably aren’t too keen on public-sector unions, either.

By the way, the headline to the AP story is priceless: “Wis. Assembly passes bill taking away union rights.” ZOMG! They’re taking away our rights!!1

Hey, look! Hamas’ rulers never moderated: The news media is now perfectly comfortable in noticing that Hamas is an Islamist group that is crushing the secular life out of Gaza. Funny, that’s not what it was like when they first took over. All that talk about how they’d be forced to moderate once they had to deal with the day-to-day issues of trash pickup and the like… who’da thunk it? Why, who could have foreseen that this would happen? Gee, another dictatorship in the making. Why, if only someone had said something years ago. Oh. Wait. I did.

Seriously? Who the hell cares? Please note that I will not link to, discuss, nor read about the upcoming nuptials across the pond. I think the entire concept of monarchy, no matter how limited, is pathetic and about as anti-American as you can get. Why is that family rich? Because they used their armies to take money from other people over the centuries, and then forced them to pay taxes to support their heirs in perpetuity. I don’t believe any royal family is much better than modern dictators when you get down to the core of their fortunes. The difference is their victims died centuries ago, and Ghaddafy’s are dying today. So yeah, celebrate another wedding of wealthy inbred thieves? Pass.

Posted in American Scene, Gaza, Hamas, Politics, World | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Wheels within wheels within wheels

If true, this is a major step forward by the Palestinians:

Palestinian sources told the London-based al-Hayat Thursday that a plan by Prime Minister Salam Fayyad to create a unity government with both rival Palestinian factions had already been approved by Fatah, and was currently awaiting the approval of Hamas.

According to the plan, both factions will keep their respective authorities in the West Bank and Gaza, including security forces.

The sources said that the status-quo kept by security forces was based on refraining from using terror as a means of achieving Palestinian aims, meaning Hamas must be committed to maintaining peace on the border between Gaza and Israel.

I dismissed this out of hand at first, but then I got to thinking: Both Hamas and Fatah have already put down demonstrations against them by Palestinians who would emulate the rest of the Arab world. True, the Palestinian leadership is nothing like Ghaddafy, but they repress their people, steal the money intended for them, prevent new elections, and don’t really have democracy. A deal between Hamas and Fatah would stop them from stirring up the population against each other, and also give them one less thing to worry about.

On the Hamas side, with a “calm” in place, they can then start working with the Muslim Brotherhood to fully arm Gaza with all the modern weapons their Iranian patrons will provide. The Egyptian army won’t stop them. Even moderates like Sandmonkey say that the opening of the Egypt/Gaza border is inevitable, and the Israelis will just have to suck it up. (Note that Sandmonkey hasn’t seemed to notice that Gazans are exporting goods to Egypt, and there is no humanitarian crisis, but I digress.)

And the two-step process will then move on to the second step: Hamas plays it cool and lies in wait until the Brotherhood can fully take over Egypt and join in the jihad against Israel. By that time, Iran will have everything in place, and there would probably be a fair amount of terror cells and weaponry smuggled into the West Bank by then.

Of course, this is based on several things. First, Hamas has to actually keep the peace this time. I don’t see that happening. Second, Hamas and Fatah actually have reached an agreement. We’ve heard this all before, and every single time, the agreement has fallen apart. Last, of course, we don’t know which way Egypt is going to jump. These are dark times, there is no denying. But right now, everything is speculation.

Posted in Israel | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Wheels within wheels within wheels

In which I teach the AP how to write an unbiased article on Israel

Once—just once—I’d like to see an article on Israel that contains no bias whatsoever. This one was pretty darned good. Look at this, it’s part of the lead, and it actually presents the story fairly. It points out that it is always Hamas that breaks the peace, not Israel, and that Israel responds militarily to being attacked:

Israel and Hamas have largely observed an unofficial cease-fire since then. But clashes sporadically flare up along the volatile border as Gaza militants fire rockets and mortars into Israel, drawing military reprisals.

Wow, that’s about the best summation I’ve ever seen the AP give this situation. And the article goes on to quote Israelis harmed by the rocket, call for UN condemnation of Hamas, and there isn’t a single quote by a Palestinian doctor about how the Israeli response killed a farmer or a fisherman or something other than a terrorist. It’s a fair description of the attack on Israeli civilians.

Until the end.

No Palestinian group took responsibility for the rocket attack. But it came at the end of a violent day.

Really? At the end of a violent day? So, what happened? Why was it violent?

Israeli tank fire wounded 11 people, including at least six militants, following an attack on an Israeli patrol. One of the wounded later died in a hospital, marking the first time in weeks someone has died in clashes.

Note the transposition of events here. Instead of pointing out that there was an attack on an Israeli patrol, the writer (or editor) starts with the Israeli response, making it look like the Israeli response came before the attack. Yes, the words say otherwise—but then, why are the events in reverse order in the paragraph? Because it minimizes the Palestinian attack. It’s a very subtle difference, but when you rewrite the paragraph, it becomes extremely meaningful. Here’s why the Israelis responded with tank fire:

The Israeli military said its tanks opened fire after the militants detonated a bomb targeting the Israeli patrol near the border and then fired mortars at the soldiers. Both Islamic Jihad and Hamas militants said they were involved in that attack.

The paragraph should have been written like this:

Militants detonated a bomb targeting the Israeli patrol near the border and then fired mortars at the soldiers. Israeli tanks returned fire, wounding 11 people, including at least six militants. Both Islamic Jihad and Hamas militants said they were involved in that attack.

See how easy it is? See what a difference the truth makes? It’s yours for free, AP. And anytime you want any more lessons on writing neutral stories, I’m happy to supply them. Oh, and one last tip: The “including at least six militants” is another subtle dig. It implies that the other five were innocent civilians. I’m quite sure the AP is using “We didn’t have 100% identification” as their excuse for using it. But if a group of men are standing around firing mortars, you can be pretty sure they’re not civilians.

Posted in Gaza, Hamas, Media Bias | Tagged , , | Comments Off on In which I teach the AP how to write an unbiased article on Israel