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Full frontal fisking

The AP gets one over at The Jewish View.

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Reader's Digest condensed version

I have no time this morning.

So they're fighting again. The PA still isn't taking away their weapons. However, we can hope. That they kill each other, of course.

There. Was. No. Cease. Fire.

So, new readers, if you like what you're reading most days (today I simply chose sleep over blogging, go figure), hit my tipjars. The bills are going to be tough to manage this month.

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What cease-fire? Mortar attacks in Israel and the Gaza strip. A bomb explodes near a passing bus. And another victim dies from the Netanya bombing, raising the death toll to five. But Condi Rice told

This time, we really mean it: Condi Rice told Syria that they really, really, really have to stop sponsoring terrorism. Raise hands, those of you who've heard this song before. Raise hands, those of you who think Baby Assad is going to close down the Damascus planning centers of the many terrorist organizations he supports. Oh, and she told the PA that they really, really, really have to start do something about the terrorists.

Uh-huh. Really. Because the PA isn't going to get $3 billion from the G8 for doing exactly what they've been doing. Because they don't already realize the world refuses to call terrorism against Jews terrorism. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to the changes that Condi's speech is going to bring. I am waiting with bated breath. Uh-huh. Truly. I swear.


Got one in Nablus: The world is the better for the death of one terrorist at the hands of the IDF. Too bad they don't all try to resist arrest and get shot for it. But here's an interesting piece of news:

According to AP, Aassi was in the company of a British national at the time of the arrest, who Palestinian witnesses said was a reporter. The army rejected the claims that the British woman was a journalist, and said she was an activist who gave refuge to fugitives in her home.

ISM terror enablers shielding terrorists. Whoda thunk it?

Strong stomach warning: Check out the BBC's collection of editorials about the Netanya bombing. Scroll down to the bottom, where the BBC has quoted palestinian editorials. Oh, the hypocrisy. And the utter bullshit. Still batting zero on the "suicide bombing of innocents is wrong" concept.

And I'm done here. Check out The Jewish View, where my co-bloggers are picking up the slack while I settle into my new temp job.

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Silly search thing: "How can you tell a male and female cat apart"? Okay, here's the clue: One of them has balls. The other doesn't.

Weird search thing: "cheap teeth grills." Uh. Okay. (Backing away slowly.)

I'd buy that for a dollar thing: I wish someone would invent a comb for corn on the cob that pulls out all the cornsilk before you eat it.

New job thing: It's mostly clerical, excruciatingly boring, and damn, I'm tired of temping. I need a full-time job. Time to start going into overdrive for that. I'm back to getting up a half-hour early to make sure you all have a new post in the morning. Remember that next time you want to complain about posting being too light. Okay, so nobody really complains about posting being too light, but remember it anyway just in case you're thinking of complaining. And stop thinking. If there's one thing I hate, it's readers that think. Read, and parrot blindly. That's what the weblogging world is all about, right?

(Anyone who answered that last question in the affirmative needs to go on a long vacation.)

Must-not-see TV: Okay, I taped the first few episodes of The Inside on Jonathan Last's recommendation, and finally got around to watching them on Monday and Tuesday. Gotta say, I'm not surprised the show's been pulled. I mean, really, the pitch? "Gee, I have a great idea for a show! It's the Serial-Killer-of-the-Week, and oh, yeah, the star was kidnapped at age ten and we keep flashing back on her captivity! Woo-hoo, it's a can't-miss!"

And, by the way, I think it was a really, really bad idea to watch three episodes in one day. I may write a longer review later, but yes, I agree the acting was terrific, and yes, I agree the writing was good, and yes, I agree the production values were great. But it's a show devoted to catching serial killers. Every week. The subject matter is just too dense to support a weekly format, and let's face it—you really have to suspend disbelief to watch them catch a serial killer a week when it takes decades to catch the real-life ones.

Did I mention how stupid an idea it was to watch three episodes in one day? Oh, yeah, I wanted to go to sleep that night. Not.

I will not mention my nightmares from last night. Suffice to say there was blood. Lots of it.

I think I shall not watch the rest of the season.

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It's not terrorism if it happens in Israel

The death toll is four—all women: And 90 wounded. The New York Times will give you this story as a result of a search on terrorism, but still refuses to call suicide bombs in Israel terrorist acts. Further down in the article, the Madrid bombs are terrorism, of course.

Rumsfeld says Iran may be behind the bombing. Gee, ya think?

Shiqaqi's move to Lebanon enhanced the movement's ties with Hizballah and Iran. Iran became the movement's major financial sponsor, and Hizballah provided it with training facilities and logistical aid. Thanks to Hizballah's support, the PIJ expanded its network in the Palestinian refugee camps in Lebanon. Whereas Hamas was always an independent Palestinian movement, Islamic Jihad became an instrument of Iranian policy in the Arab-Israeli conflict.

Keen grasp of the obvious there.

The IDF takes back Tul Karem, nest of suicide bombers, home to the latest one. Watch for the condemnations. Of Israel, of course.

According to military sources the PA is not doing anything to thwart terror attacks. The sources said Tul Karm has become a refuge for the Islamic Jihad, and thus Israel will act with full force against the terror infrastructure in the town.

Islamic Jihad militants in and around Tul Karm have been responsible for the deaths of ten Israelis in attacks in the past six months, since a major attack at the Stage club in Tel Aviv.

There's a full West Bank and Gaza closure. Watch the usual suspects cry about the hardships on the palestinians. Yeah, too bad about those dead Jews, but the pals need to get to their jobs.

Two 16-year-old girls were killed in the bombing. Don't hold your breath waiting for the outrage at the death of Israeli "youths." I'm amazed they're not calling the bomber (who was 18) a "palestinian youth" or "palestinian teenager." Apparently, age only counts when wounded or killed by the IDF (even if while performing a terrorist attack). It doesn't count if you're simply killed or wounded by terrorists.

And ever the weasels, the latest AP lead on the [non-]terrorist attack in Netanya:

TULKAREM, West Bank (AP) - Israeli troops reoccupied the West Bank city of Tulkarem early Wednesday, killing a Palestinian policeman in a firefight and arresting five Islamic Jihad activists after the militant group killed four Israelis in a suicide bombing.

The bombing Tuesday killed four people outside a shopping mall in the coastal city of Netanya and rattled a 5-month-old truce.

Just for kicks and giggles, let's check out their latest London stories:

How Clock Ticked Down to Terror in London
[...] As police work to determine the sequence of events in last Thursday's bombings, and Londoners frantically retrace the steps of missing relatives and friends, a countdown to terror has emerged from phone records, witness accounts and indelible memories of loved ones' last moments.

[...] Commuters dashed for buses, many unaware that terrorists had struck and the city was under siege. Unable to get a subway at the King's Cross or Euston stations, Lisa French phoned her husband to say there was some kind of problem but that she was safe.

[...] A series of rapid-fire announcements followed as the gravity of the situation becomes clear. They culminated at noon with an address to the nation by Prime Minister Tony Blair, who confirmed deaths and serious injuries in a series of "barbaric" terrorist attacks.

See a difference in these two stories? Of course you do. It's the Exception Clause. It's terrorism when suicide bombings occur, except for Jews.

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Hypocrites, liars, and appeasers

Hypocrites: Here's the UN statement condemning the terrorist bombing in Israel.

The Secretary-General strongly condemns the suicide attack in Israel today that took at least two lives, and wounded many others. He is unwavering in his conviction that nothing can justify terror.

Now and in the days ahead, it is critical that all measures be taken to ensure that such attacks do not reoccur, and that the admirable restraint recently observed be maintained so that the violence does not escalate.

Not quite the same as this one, is it? No calls for restraint against the perpetrators in Lebanon.

The Secretary-General was appalled to hear, yet again, of a bombing in Beirut, which killed two people and injured the current Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Defence, Elias Murr, and several others. He extends his sympathies to the victims and condolences to their families. The Secretary-General strongly condemns this terrorist act which has the effect of undermining the process of building a peaceful, independent and sovereign Lebanon. The Secretary-General reiterates his support, and that of the international community, for the right of the Lebanese people to live free of fear and intimidation.

The Secretary-General strongly urges the Government of Lebanon to exert every effort to bring to justice those behind this and previous crimes that appear aimed at destabilizing the situation. He calls upon all parties to work towards a united and democratic Lebanon.

Liars: The palestinian spokesliars are out in full force.

Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas condemned as "idiotic" Tuesday's suicide bombing in Netanya that killed two people, and said those behind it would be punished.

"This was a crime against the Palestinian people and those who were behind it must be working against our people's interest and must be punished," Abbas told reporters.

"Those behind it were behaving idiotically. There is no rational Palestinian who can conduct such an act at the time Israel was withdrawing from ... settlements starting in Gaza and moving to the West Bank," he said, referring to the upcoming implementation of the disengagement plan.

Let's wait and see how the PA refers to the bomber in their news reports tomorrow. The smart money is on "martyr." And gee, thanks for saying you feel bad that the action caused the death of three Israelis and the mutilation of dozens more. Or that suicide bombing is wrong. Not "a crime against the palestinian people." (By the way, no palestinians, save for the bomber, were harmed in the blast, so STFU, you lying sack of garbage.)

Appeasers: Nice to see that Bush's spokesman thinks that the Israelis should show restraint in the face of their people getting murdered. Because that's what he did in Iraq and Afghanistan, right?

U.S. State Department spokesman Tom Casey and White House spokesman Scott McClellan condemned the suicide bombing.

"There is no justification for the murder of innocent civilians," McClellan said.

While affirming Israel's right to self-defense, Casey appeared to caution Israel about any retaliation. "We ask them to consider the consequences of any actions they might take," he said.

What time is it, kiddies? That's right, it's Israeli Double Standard Time!

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Suicide bombing in Netanya: What truce? What truce? WHAT TRUCE?

Bastards struck in Netanya, again.

At least two people were killed and 37 people were wounded when a major explosion occurred at an intersection near the Sharon Mall in Netanya around 6:30 p.m. Tuesday evening.

A suicide bomber detonated himself on a crosswalk at the intersection of Raziel and Herzel avenues, directly across from the mall.

Two of the wounded were in critical condition, six suffered from serious wounds, seven suffered moderate wounds, and a number more were being treated for light wounds, medics said.

Islamic Jihad's armed wing, the Al-Quds Battalions, claimed responsibility for the attack. They named the bomber as 18-year-old Sami Ahmed Muhalil from a village near Tulkarm. The Islamic Jihad is quickly becoming the best-funded of the Palestinian terror organizations, and has been responsible for many of the most recent terror attacks.

Police say they have arrested Islamic Jihad suspect in connection with Netanya bombing, according to an AP report.

Police and security forces raised alertness levels around the country immediately after the attack.

The glass doors at the entrance to the Sharon Mall shattered, and glass lay scattered on the sidewalk, according to an eyewitness description. A number of nearby vehicles were also damaged in the blast.

An eyewitness told Channel 2 that the suicide bomber detonated his explosives in the middle of a crosswalk facing the mall after he apparently failed in his attempts to enter the shopping mall owing to security.

Watch for the phrases "threatening to end a shaky truce" and "breaking a lull in the violence" to appear. Then click here and here and here and here and here, and see that there has been no cease-fire, and no truce, save on the Israeli side.

A little geographical information, and the reason why Israel refuses to withdraw to the 1949 Armistice lines:

Netanya is at Israel's narrowest point, nine miles from the West Bank. The city has been a frequent target of Palestinian bombers, but the number of attacks has dropped sharply in the past year, with completion of a section of Israel's separation barrier in the area.

And a little bit of Saab Erekat, just enough to make you sick:

The chief Palestinian negotiator, Saeb Erekat, condemned the bombing. "We understand that those who carried out this attack want to sabotage the efforts being exerted to have a smooth and peaceful disengagement from Gaza and a revival of the peace process," he said.

No, they're just trying to kill Jews.

And the award goes to: Reuters, the first news service to talk about the "shaky truce":

NETANYA, Israel (Reuters) - A Palestinian suicide bomber killed at least three people at an Israeli shopping mall on Tuesday in the first such attack for nearly four months, dealing a heavy blow to a shaky truce, Israeli media said.

It isn't a truce when one side continues to kill, attempt to kill, and wound the other. And this is not a good thing, either:

Security forces said that initial investigations found no link between the Netanya attack and a second attack at the West Bank settlement of Shavei Shomron, which occurred just some half-an-hour earlier. In that attack, a suicide attacker drove a stolen vehicle laden with gas balloons into the gate of the settlement, and exploded some 100 meters from the entrance. The bomber was the only casualty in that incident.

The war continues. The world continues to refuse to call it what it is: A war against Israel, waged by palestinians.

Update: The truck bomb may have been an accident. (Via LGF)

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This is why we call them terrorists

Hamas shows its true colors in an interview with an Italian newspaper.

Hamas will not compromise on one inch of Greater Palestine, Hamas leader Mahmoud al-Zahar told an Italian newspaper earlier this week.

Speaking to the Corriere Della Sera newspaper, al-Zahar said Hamas would "definitely not" be prepared for coexistence with Israel should the IDF retreat to its 1967 borders.

"It can be a temporary solution, for a maximum of 5 to 10 years. But in the end Palestine must return to become Muslim, and in the long term Israel will disappear from the face of the earth."

Yes, these are the people that England and the EU are meeting with as "legitimate" representatives of the palestinian people. Because they got elected to the mayoralty of a few towns.

Got news for you, Sparky. In the long term, Hamas will disappear from the face of the earth.

In Israel, Foreign Minister Silvan Shalom provided a translation of part of the interview and parts of the Hamas consitution Foreign Minister Silvan Shalom for European Union envoy Javier Solana, in an attempt to explain Israel's rejection fo negotioations with Hamas.

The Ministry has also embarked on a campaign to discourage Europeans from dealing with Hamas, including an English translation of Hamas's convention, to be distributed to diplomats in a bid to illustrate the movement's radical and dangerous character to the attention of decision makers throughout the world.

"Now, when Europe has offered to recognize Hamas on a political level, al-Zahar provides clear statements of what to expect from the organization," Ministry officials told Ynet. "He does not even attempt to speak ambiguously in an attempt to please Europe and finds it difficult to hide the group's happiness at the London bombings."

Raise hands, everyone who thinks this will convince the UN and EU that Hamas is a terrorist organization. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Cross-posted to The Jewish View.

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The weekly Weekly

I'm thinking this needs to be a new feature: What we can learn from the Weekly World News. First, let me explain my fondness for this magazine. It is not, in spite of general misconceptions, a gossip rag. The Weekly World News almost never debases itself by writing about which celebrity is sleeping with which other celebrity. The closest it comes to that is revealing that Elvis, JFK and Marilyn Monroe are all living secretly in a bunker somewhere (that was from the nineties, I believe.)

The WWN is the magazine that first revealed the Nazi planes on the moon. They were also the folks that scooped the world and let us know that Adolf Hitler was actually—wait for it—a woman! And they had pictures! They regularly feature people like Bat Boy (half-man, half-bat) and various aliens. When Bill Clinton ran for president against George Bush and Ross Perot, the WWN had aliens from outer space meet with all three candidates before endorsing Clinton. (You may draw from that the conclusions you will, but at least the aliens were fair.) There's a very funny photo of a grinning Clinton standing holding the WWN front page of the alien endorsing him.

The WWN is a great magazine to bring to a party. Simply read it aloud to your friends and watch them collapse with laughter. My friend Alison introduced me to this concept in college; we would buy a WWN from time to time and entertain the partygoers with stories like a woman who gave birth to seven rabbits (based on an American colonial woman's diary, it was A TRUE STORY!).

And it's rather unnerving to point out that the publishers of the WWN are the American Media company, which was targeted by the anthrax attacks in 2001. To this day, we don't know why they were targeted. I'm guessing it wasn't the aliens, but they did publish some pretty nasty facts about Osama bin Laden, whom they said got married to Saddam Hussein (and they had pictures!), but most of those were after the anthrax attack. Oh. And there's Ed Anger, the columnist who didn't like Europe because there were too many foreigners there. He's always on the rampage; in this link, he says we should lower the execution age to six. ("This is no time to be coddling murderers, folks. If anything, we ought to LOWER the execution age right down to 6 or 7. That way we can snuff out these killer brats in the cradle -- before they grow up to be big-time serial killers like Ted Bundy and Aileen Wuornos.") That's Ed. He's always stupid and tasteless, and a hilarious parody of columnists.

In any case: Here's the weekly Weekly:


1 You know, in this light you look like you could be Laura Bush's younger, more desirable sister.

2 Sorry if I seem aggravated -- I'm still upset about that world-class jerk, Michael Moore.

Go get 'em, guys!


It will explode within 6 months! 'Thousands of lunar fragments will smash into Earth'

AUSTIN BRIGGS AIR FORCE BASE, Texas -- Ever since the world learned that extraterrestrials are using the moon as a garbage dump (Weekly World News, June 27), scientists and the military have been on top-secret high alert.

"We've been monitoring the lunar body for signs of instability, toxins and increased geologic activity," said General Eddie Burroughs, USAF, in charge of lunar surveillance. "Unfortunately, Project Extreme Watchfulness has found all three. Early last week we saw a garbage scow -- apparently of Martian origin -- make one final deposit in Clavius Crater and then speed away. Our Photon Emissions Watchers detected a corrosive, highly fissionable deposit on the moon -- one that will trigger a complete lunar meltdown in six months!

Yikes! We like the moon!

A FEMALE scientist has found the gene that allows women to ask for directions.

Thelma Thataway, a geneticist at the prestigious Pointer Institute at Four Corners, Arizona, says her discovery is good news for men.

"It's well-known that most men would rather get lost for hours than ask a stranger for directions," says Thataway. "Three years ago, there was a case of a 75-year-old man who ended up 1,000 miles from his home because he took a left turn instead of a right and refused to admit he was lost.

"Wives have yelled at their husbands for being incredibly stubborn. But now it turns out that it's not really their fault. They're genetically incapable of asking."

I always knew it.

Well, there's the weekly Weekly. If you like this feature, and would like to see it made regular, say so in the comments.

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Lies the AP told me

Fresh on the heels of an almost-balanced piece on Israel (which I now think was caused by guilt),. Honest reporting catches AP in a major, major lie:

Honest Reporting caught the lie. (Of course it's a lie. It's reporting something that is untrue.)

Two days after the terrorist bombings in London, British Prime Minister Blair gave a high-profile interview on BBC Radio, which Associated Press covered in this manner:

Prime Minister Tony Blair said Britain must defend against terrorism - but must also strive to understand the underlying causes of the violence, which he identified as deprivation, lack of democracy and ongoing conflict in the Middle East. "I think this type of terrorism has very deep roots," Blair said. "As well as dealing with the consequences of this - trying to protect ourselves as much as any civil society can - you have to try to pull it up by its roots." That meant boosting understanding between people of different religions, helping people in the Middle East see a path to democracy and easing the conflict between Israel and the Palestinians, he said. (emphasis added)

HR goes on to say:

Blair's apparent linking of Israel with the London attacks set off a firestorm, angering Israeli leaders while pleasing Palestinians. An editorial from Israel's largest paper, Yediot Ahronot, responded 'With all due respect, the British Prime Minister is wrong,' while Palestinian spokesman Saeb Arekat quipped that Blair had 'touched reality and spoke strategically of the need to deal with the problems of this region.' But HonestReporting subscribers in England who had listened carefully to Blair's BBC interview noticed something strange -- in the interview (available here), Blair never actually mentioned the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. What did Blair say? That 'some of the critical issues in the Middle East' need to be 'dealt with and sorted out'. AP editorialized Blair's vague statement to mean the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

The AP issued a correction after Honest Reporting caught them in the lie. But we all know the damage has already been done. The false quotes will live on; the correction will fade away. And of course, the conspiracy freaks will say that the Jews managed to once more squelch the truth.

Nice work, AP. Your credibility is sinking as low as the Weekly World News, which regularly features Bat Boy, space aliens, and news of Elvis, and which this week has revealed a massive government coverup that has stopped us from learning the moon is doomed.

Bloomberg News managed to get it right. Imagine that, they used actual quotes instead of made-up ones.

Cross-posted to The Jewish View.

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What's this? A balanced AP piece on Israel?

Well, this was unexpected. An AP article on the Jerusalem security fence ruling is almost balanced in tone.

Israeli Cabinet OKs Jerusalem Barrier
JERUSALEM (AP) - Israel's Cabinet, ignoring Palestinian objections and U.S. misgivings, gave final approval Sunday to a Jerusalem separation barrier meant to stop suicide bombers but that will cut off 55,000 Palestinian residents from the city.

Prime Minister Ariel Sharon last week ordered the acceleration of construction of the Jerusalem segment of the barrier and government ministries have until Sept. 1 to complete their preparations.

The wall around Jerusalem is part of the partially completed barrier along the West Bank.

This is the part that floored me—it is an accurate description of why the fence was built.

Israel began building a barrier along the West Bank at the height of a suicide bombing campaign by Palestinians more than two years ago. Attackers crossed the unmarked and largely unguarded cease-fire line between the Israel and the West Bank, captured by Israel in the 1967 war, and blew themselves up in Israeli cities, killing hundreds of people.

But of course, there has to be a "but" statement:

However, the route of the barrier dips into the West Bank in several places to encircle main settlements, and Palestinian denounce it as a land grab.

And although some of the rest of the article falls into the standard anti-Israel bias, it's out of the lead.

And here's our favorite palestinian spokesliar, who gets the last word in the article:

Saeb Erekat, a senior Palestinian official, said Israel must stop building the barrier, which he said was bringing "catastrophe" upon the Palestinians.

"The wall is separating between Palestinians and Palestinians," Erekat said. "We have exerted every possible effort with the Israelis themselves, the Americans, the international community but the only thing that is happening is that the wall is being completed."

But I don't understand. The pals want East Jerusalem as their capital, right? Or is it only that now, when the situation nears, the fact that they want all of Jerusalem as the capital of their palestinian state—covering all of Israel—is finally coming to light.

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The palestinian connection

A detailed instructional video on how to create and set off a suicide bomb is widely available on jihadi websites.

The 26-minute tape gives a detailed, step-by-step guide on how to pack the belt with shrapnel and high explosive, and then detonate it on board for maximum loss of life.

In a grim reminder of the blast that devastated the Number 30 in London’s Tavistock Place on Thursday, the film’s final section shows the device being blown up in a specially arranged “test site”, with rows of metal targets designed to simulate passengers on a bus. A voice-over explains exactly where the would-be bomber should sit on the vehicle in order to maximise the blast. A second test-bombing shows how the same bomb will impact on a crowd of people in a street.

[…] Little is known about the film’s origins, although it is thought to have been shot in the Palestinian territories, where Arab militants have frequently used suicide belts in attacks on Israeli citizens.

[…] The video’s availability on the internet was disclosed by the Washington-based Search for International Terrorist Entities (Site) Institute, a research establishment which monitors and analyses terrorist websites. It acts as a consultant to several Western intelligence agencies.

“The quality of the video is unbelievable,” said Rita Katz, Site’s director. “It is more like a production from National Geographic. We think it is the work of Hizbollah from some years ago, but it is being circulated on message boards.”

The links are there, the links are clear, and yet, the world refuses to call palestinian terrorism by its true name: Terrorism.

Cross-posted to The Jewish View.

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Last week's blogs are archived. Looking for the Buffy Blogburst Index? Here's Israel vs. the world. Here's the Blogathon. The Superhero Dating Ratings are here. If you're looking for something funny, try the Hulk's solution to the Middle East conflict, or Yasser Arafat Secret Phone Transcripts. Iseema bin Laden's diary is also a good bet if you've never been here before.