This is a funny one:
Oh, that'll work. Maybe God was just plain annoyed with the singing and called down the snow to stop the awful din this year.
In the same miracle vein, the EU has apparently decided that the IDF does not have a secret department that forges Arafat's signature on incriminating documents:
Hold on to your hats, the most devastating facts are in the next paragraph:
Obviously, OLAF's chief man is Inspector Clouseau. You just have to love the EU, which has people like Chris Patten insisting that there is no corruption whatsoever, and that all EU funds earmarked for the pals go to feed the hungry and clothe the poor. Yeah. Uh-huh. Sure. Which is why Forbes estimates Arafat is a billionaire. So, what are the Euros going to do with the report?
You think they're going to bury it, since it comes up with facts the Euros don't like, like the recent anti-Semitism report?
Okay, that says Israeli diplomatic officials, not European. I think I'll reserve judgment until it's clear they're not going to whitewash or bury the report. On the other hand, this report shows that the pals are starting to sweat that the gravy train may soon be ending:
And last, but not least, this brilliant piece from our ever-hiliarous Palestinian Authority:
Let's see. Israel refuses to appear before the court because the thrust of Israel's case is that the ICJ has no authority over an internal Israeli matter. The PA says it doesn't matter because the court has authority over Israel, anyway.
There are many who say that Israel is building the fence in Israeli territory, asshat. To the victor go the spoils, and all that.
Yes, as the ICJ is an arm of the UN, and one of the judges, an Egyptian, has already spoken out against the fence. Requests for his recusal on those grounds were denied.
As I said, the fix is in. Hands up, any reader of this blog who thinks the ICJ will hand down a favorable opinion on the fence. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? permalink
The serious stuff can wait. I'd much rather brag about how I managed to put together a halogen floor lamp all by myself, a first for me. Although it would have been nice either to have a third arm, or to have my arms about half again as long as they were, or, well, just have someone else hold the lamp part while I took care of the base and the pole. It's a bit crooked, but I'll fix that tomorrow. Plus, I got the lamp for $13 and change at Foremost, so even if it only lasts a few months, it was worth it.
Last night, I wanted to go to bed around midnight, and opened the patio door and called for Tig. No response. Went to the front door, called for Tig. No response. Did some work on the computer, repeated the previous actions, received the previous response. Went upstairs, checked the bedroom, saw Gracie on the bed, poked the covers, no Tig hiding underneath. Checked the blankets on the TV chair downstairs (I was two and a half degrees below normal yesterday and chilled to the bone). No Tig. Now I'm starting to get tired and worried. I was envisioning Tig run over by a car, or eaten by a dog, or raccoon, or any number of tragedies. I tried dozing in the TV chair, because once I was upstairs, I knew I'd never hear him scratching at the door to be let in. But I realized that I'd get even sicker if I didn't get some sleep. So I locked up, turned out the lights, and went upstairs. As I walked past the upstairs bathroom, I saw Tig lying curled up on a pile of towels under the sink. The ones I put there yesterday preparatory to bringing downstairs to wash.
I got my oil changed and my tires rotated at the dealer's today. While I was there, they put a new car into the showroom. Another woman and I stared, fascinated, as the driver tried to maneuver the car into a spot without hitting a wall, a desk, or another car in the showroom. And the tires made funny squeaking noises as the car drove across the floor. As I told the woman at the dealer's, now I know the noise that a car makes when you drive it on tile: The same noise a little kid makes when dragging his sneakers across the floor. permalink
Interesting information from this Roger Friedman column on Fox News about the venues chosen for Gibson's "Passion" release:
Hey, I didn't write that. A Fox News columnist did.
Update: Michele writes in a letter:
In point of fact, I intend to go see the film. Living in Richmond, I shouldn't have any trouble at all finding a local theater that plays it. I hated the gore in Braveheart, and I suspect this film will be equally as gross, but I do want to see the film I've been readingand writing aboutfor months. permalink
Admittedly, I'm not a lawyer. I only know what I was taught in high school and college history classes, and what I have read and heard since then, which is, er, kind of a long time. But here's my lay opinion about Constitutional amendments: They are supposed to protect our citizens' rights, not make sure that a certain class of people shall never have them.
Which is my way of saying that I completely support gay marriage. I don't see a problem with it. And I don't think the amendment has a snowball's chance in hell of being approved.
Funny how so many people get so bent out of shape over homosexuality. It's been around as long as we have existed. I've known more than a few gay couples, and frankly can't see the difference between their relationships and the married couples I know. Well, except for the same-sex thing, of course. The rest of the relationship? One old married couple is much like another. Except the gay couple isn't really married, legally.
I don't think the Massachusetts court is an example of judicial activism. I think it's an example of the inevitability of the rights of American citizens being granted to all Americans.
It doesn't matter if some religions think it's a sin. The Constitution doesn't take religion into account when granting Americans equal protection under the law.
If that amendment goes past the talking stage, I'll be working to defeat it. I kinda like what the Fourteenth Amendment has to say.
Yeah, that's about right. No need to mess that one up with an amendment that proclaims gays shall be less than equal citizens of the United States. permalink
Michele is the center of my universe
Okay, not really, but she deserves an ego-boosting link. Hey, Michele, I didn't get in the Commisar's deck, either. Note that I didn't link him until he mentioned me by name.
Blogosphere. Ego. Yeah, we've got that. permalink
Have you ever heard a song on the radio, or walking into a store, or passing a TV playing a video, and stopped dead still with the thought that you absolutely had to know who that was, or that you had to go out and get the CD immediately?
That happens to me from time to time. The songs come from a wide variety of sources. One of them was the main ballad from The Little Mermaid that I heard in the background in a Disney store, another was my first-ever taste of Sarah McLachlan. Yet another was "On My Own" from Les Miserables, and the original Eponine was singing it on the Carson show (wow, that was a long time ago), causing my obsession with Les Miz (which I listen to every time I find myself becoming too conservative, as every time I listen to Les Miz, I want to pick up a gun and join the barricades).
Anyway. One of those songs was "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World, and for some reason, it snuck into the back of my mind instead of the fore, but it was also put on my wishlist, and my old friend and former coworker Harry H. just sent me that, and the new Loreena McKennitt CD, as a present.
Thanks, Harry. Listening to Jimmy Eat World now, and liking the other songs, too. But "Hear You Me" was the song they played when Alex and Kim went to Bobby's grave on Third Watch, back when the show was still good, and I've wanted it for a long time. The song is superb. permalink
That would be links for you, and bed rest for me. Damn, this thing is back, and it wants to stay the rest of the month. Without paying rent. What does this mean to you? I'm linking people who have emailed me recently.
Mac Thomason, the Pteropundit, says the bird flu has hit New Jersey. Strangely, the article says that NJ always has some kind of bird flu flying around, due to Hispanic immigrants' preference for freshly-killed poultry. Watch Pat Buchanan take that one and run with it. "IMMIGRANTS ARE BRINGING DISEASE TO AMERICA!!!" Then again, he's probably written entire chapters about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm on some kind of Monopoly blog board. But these things are entirely subjective, and generally reflect the reading habits and link-whoring tactics of their authors. Many blogs I like are missing from the board, and many that I despise are on it. So it's one of those "cute idea, Blodgex link material" things.
A long article about the efficacyor lack thereofof the International Criminal Court. It's called "A Lawless Global Court."
Lynn B. took on Tom Friedman's latest, so I don't have to. I also scanned Maureen Dowd's latest column. She's just embarrassing, now. Why bother?
Then again, she pointed out to me this passage from Friedman's column of last week, which is as offensive as any article I've read in the Arab News. Nice to know you're on the home team, Friedman. Here's your foreskin back, too.
Ed Koch had this to say about the above:
I am so outraged over the Friedman column that I am practically speechless. Solomon fisked it quite nicely.
Nice one, Solomon. I see an Apprentice of Juvenile Scorn shaping up here. permalink
The Palestinian spokesliars are trying to convince a group of Jews that it was a mistake for them to kill a bunch of other Jews.
I would say it was a tragic mistake for those who lost their lives or who have to live with the aftermath of the effects of thousands of pieces of shrapnel flying at body-piercing speeds, but then, I'm one of those Westerners who simply cannot understand the desperation of the suicide bomber.
Has no one learned that the spokesliars say one thing to us and another in Arabic and in private? You just know this scumbag was high-fiving with Arafat after the Number 19 Egged bus got hit. I don't buy this new act at all. They don't consider any Israeli a civilian due to the compulsory military service in that nation.
Every time Israel stops targeting terrorists, the terrorist launch another bombing attack. I'm missing the upside for Israel here.
Sure. Let's have a ceasefire. Oh, wait, you keep telling us that the PA is unable to control the terrorists because your infrastructure has been blown to bits, and your police force is unable to do anything about terror attacks. Of course, it's been proven that your policemen are both complicit in and carrying out suicide bomb attacks, but don't let the facts get in the way of your lies.
See? Read between the lines: We can't (won't) stop terrorist attacks until you give us a state.
Shyeah. Because you don't indoctrinate your children from the get-go. Because you don't play martyrdom videos on PA TV every day. Because you aren't blackmailing your women into blowing themselves up since your men are finding it more and more difficult to get through to Israel and do sobecause of the security fence.
Blah blah blah, root cause, blah blah blah, desperation, blah blah blah, poverty, lack of hope, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, they're singing the same old song. And yet, middle-class, educated people keep on blowing themselves up on buses. Somehow, I'm not getting the root causes thing.
Oh, it's the fence that hinders peace? So, like, what was it before the fence started construciton? Might it have been suicide bombings?
By the way, Israel is making progress with the fence. Suicide bombing attacks are down dramatically; the fence, along with a very strong push by Israeli security services, contributed to a 50% drop in death from terror attack in 2003. What's going on here is a desperate attempt to remove the only thing that has worked on palestinian terrorists: The security fence. Their only bargaining chip is their ability to murder. They're losing it.
I've been around Jewish organizations most of my life. I have a pretty good idea what the makeup of the AJC group is like. I'm quite sure that there are some who actually bought what Rajoub was selling. But I also know that the group is filled with people who have had the blinders fall from their eyes, and who sat through Rajoub's lies, knowing full well that what he says to American Jews is diametrically opposed to what he says to his mass-murdering master, Yasser Arafat. And I don't think that Rajoub's message is sinking in in qhite the way he would like it to. permalink
Admittedly, this is purely anecdotal. But tonight, I stopped at the Rite-Aid, and was chatting with the clerk, who is a middle-aged African-American woman. We chatted about politics, what with it being the day of the Democratic primary here in Virginia. I was telling her about John Edwards calling me five times to get me out to vote for him. Then we started talking about the election in general, and I said to her, "I've never voted for a Republican in my life, but it's looking more and more like I'll be voting for Bush come November."
"Same here," she said.
"We're in a war," I told her. "The Democrats don't seem to get that. They don't seem to want to do what has to be done."
She agreed with that, too.
"I hate all of Bush's domestic policies," I said.
"I hate them, too," she said.
But she said that it's likely that she'll do exactly what I plan to do: Hold my nose and pull the lever for Bush. This is a member of one of the Democrat's traditionally strongest support groups. Working class, African American, femaleand she's probably going to vote for Bush in November.
I think the Democrats are in trouble. permalink
Do you think John Edwards is spending too much money on his campaign? I do. He's called me five times in the last three days. Funny thing is, he said the exact same thing each time, and sounded almost as if he was, well, a recording. That can't be right, can it? He said he wanted to talk to me personally.
Ways to stay out of Meryl's email filters: Always title your message. Never title it "hi," "hello," "hey," "URGENT," or "ASSISTANCE." Mind you, the email I've received several times in the last few days that was titled "Would you like to get laid tonight?" elicited both a giggle and the response that, well, yes, actually. However, it didn't get me to open the email. Perhaps if it had been sent from someone I know, I might have.
On that same subject, the last time I talked about spam with my friend Heidi, who is a nurse, and knows these things, I told her that I seem to get an astonishing amount of email for penis enlargement. She told me that it really doesn't matter how many of them I try, I still won't grow a penis. I think she knows what she's talking about here. I'll make sure not to order any.
My co-editor called me today and said, "So, are you still climbing the walls?" It didn't occur to me that I can now describe my job that way. "So, what do you do for a living?" "I climb the walls."
Okay, not really, I help other people climb the walls. Ah. I drive people up the wall. There you go. In one job, I teach little Jews to be big Jews. In another, I drive people up the wall. One might say that I do that in both jobs, but then, one wouldn't be my students.
On the other hand, I will be climbing the walls tonight. And learning how to do it correctly.
Did you catch the 100th episode of Angel last week? I nearly forgot to watch it. Sunday night, I put in the tape, watched the episode, and spent about five minutes after the end of it picking my jaw up off the floor.
Now that's good television.
By the way, my Stomach Flu Diet definitely worked in mysterious ways. My left pinky ring is too tight for my finger now. If someone could explain that to me, I'd be more than grateful. I've never actually lost weight by not eating while gaining weight in my pinky. They say there's a first time for everything.
Okay, now that I've convinced the Instapundit looky-looks that I'm completely insane, I'll stop. permalink
Y'know, Instapundit linked to an audio of Gore's speech, and it affected me like no other speech of Gore's has ever affected me. I was inspired to write the below. Here are the original lyrics if you need to compare.
The PA says they're going to declare a state unilaterally if Israel withdraws from Gaza and the West Bank uniliterally.
While you're at it, feel free to include in your declaration that unicorns exist, you've already discovered seven pots of gold at the end of rainbows, and the tooth fairy married your brother. Because it doesn't matter one whit if the pals declare a state unilaterally. There's no bite to back up the bark. Especially now, after the fence is nearly finished.
What does Israel think of this threat?
A Google search to find any news on Babylon 5 led me to this article on Jews in film and television:
If anyone reading this website happens to be a multimillionaire looking for a new investment, Shenville Farms is currently going through bankruptcy proceedings and looking for a last-minute buyout.
They happen to make superb dairy products without growth hormones, as well as many other products. They're in the Shenandoah Valley, and are a small, family-run farm being run out of business by the Evil Corporate Creditors.
Okay, so that's a bit of hyperbole. But many, many Kroger's customers are going to be unhappy at not being able to buy Shenville Farms products. Including me. I sent them an email last week, and this is their reply:
So if you happen to have a few spare millions, or know someone who does, send 'em over to Shenville and talk to the people about a deal. Save my chocolate milk! permalink
Lynn B. had one last post on Friday that I felt would make a better Monday referral. It includes an essay that points out that the Holocaust was uniquely Jewish, even though some six or seven million others died in it as well.
It's a read-the-rest, especially the above essay. permalink
The New York Times Magazine profiles several of the world's virus creators. Charming young men, all of them. Of course, my immediate reaction is that the writer forgot to mention they're spoiled, selfish, self-centered children who never learned to socialize properly and could realy use some intensive therapy, but that's just one woman's opinion.
Time Magazine (it must be Time time today) on Ariel Sharon's plan to pull all the Israeli settlements out of Gaza:
I don't know that I go along with this analysis exactly, but I'm glad Time got a palestinian spokesliar to finally admit at least one truth:
You got that right. permalink
I am so tired of bland food. You have no idea how much I'm dying for fried potatoes. And yet, I held off and had (sigh) spaghetti for dinner, with just a little bit of butter. I suspect my Stomach Flu Diet has lost me several pounds since Thursday. I also suspect if people followed it for more than a few days, they'd be down with malnutrition in no time, bananas or no bananas.
Anyway. Mostly back to normal today. Taught religious school and worked most of my shift at the gym, and surprised myself by actually feeling better towards the end of the shift. Perhaps the endorphins produced by exercise are little healing buggers. Which is not to say I won't be going to bed early tonight.
Anonymous Lawyer Guy, also known as Brant Hadaway, presents a Holocaust denier's letter, so we can all go over there and make fun of the moron. Spelling errors included. No, the denier isn't anyone I linked to during last week's Holocaust discussion.
Lair points out that the Jerusalem Post says Al Qaeda has nukes. I don't buy it. The story says Al Qaeda is sitting on them as a last-resort weapon. Not their style at all.
Chuck Simmins is a media star. Yeah, him. Nice job, Chuck. For a very good cause, too.
I don't care if it is a blatant ploy for links. Number ten is really funny. If you can make me laugh, you get a link.
And last, but not least, Imshin has more updates on the female suicide bomber from several weeks ago, the one who supposedly blew herself up to avenge her family honor after she had an affair. Fascinating and confusing read, but if the story about the bomb in the Al-Aqsa model is true, someone in the Mossad has wickedly dark humor.
Some morons, including some idiot from France, have hijacked my domain and are sending out spam. I apologize, but there's nothing I can do about it. Trust me, if you're getting any virus/worm/spam email from me, it's not from me. It's forged headers. I have never had a virus on any of my home computers, and only once was I careless enough to click on a .vbs file at work. (And then spent the next hour and a half cleaning it off my computer. Damn, was I annoyed.)
The rest of the news will have to wait for my full recovery. Oh, except, no, I will not be watching the Grammys. They always suck. And I'm on the next-to-last DVD of Buffy Season Three. Just finished watching Doppelgangland. Earshot is up next, I think.
Sigh. I miss Buffy, but not Season Seven Buffy. Season Three rocked. permalink
Last week's blogs are archived. Looking for the Buffy Blogburst Index? Here's Israel vs. the world. Here's the Blogathon. The Superhero Dating Ratings are here. If you're looking for something funny, try the Hulk's solution to the Middle East conflict, or Yasser Arafat Secret Phone Transcripts. Iseema bin Laden's diary and The Fudd Doctrine are also good bets if you've never been here before.