Jews for Judaism has managed to get all of the bickering Jewish factions in the NY-Metro area to come together for a common cause: To tell the Jews For Jesus to go to hell. In a manner of speaking.

NEW YORK, July 9 (JTA) — There’s a holy war of sorts going on in New York City.

Jews for Jesus has been running campaigns here for 33 years, but the messianic group’s proselyting effort has never been as large as this summer — nor has it elicited such a united Jewish response.

[...] In a rare show of unity, all four major Jewish streams have banded together to launch a counter-campaign. The New York Board of Rabbis also has signed on, with the Jewish Community Relations Council of New York’s anti-missionary task force doing much of the heavy lifting.

Jews for Judaism, a Baltimore-based anti-missionary group, is serving as a consultant. The groups’ message is one of unity and community building: “Say ‘Yes’ to Judaism.”

In roughly 60 newspaper ads, the coalition is asking Jews to affirm their commitment to Judaism by learning Torah, having Shabbat dinner or by giving tzedaka, among other things. Information on Judaism is being distributed to local camps, schools and synagogues, and is available online.

This is great. Those of you outside the Jewish community have no idea how incredible it is to get all the major Jewish organizations together on one issue. Congratulations, J4J, you have managed to get the Jews of New York to put aside their differences for the month of July in order to concentrate their forces on battling the idiots who would convert them.

Rabbi Michael Miller, executive vice president and CEO of the JCRC of New York, said the Jews for Jesus message doesn’t require a direct response, since “the vast majority of Jews have no interest whatsoever in the message the Hebrew Christians are promoting.”

But, he said, “it provided us with an opportunity to reinvigorate Jewish practice. We are approaching this as a positive, educational learning experience for the Jewish community.

And apparently, the J4J campaign has given Jewish organizations the impetus to bring more little lost lambs back into the fold. Whoops, did I just borrow a Christian phrase there? No, wait, let me ask a J4J, who will assure me that it’s really a Jewish phrase.

And I just love how the J4Js play the victim card.

“I’m just mystified as to how we could be perceived as deceptive,” said Susan Perlman, Jews for Jesus’ director of communications, pointing out that all missionaries wear T-shirts with “Jews for Jesus” emblazoned across the front. “We tell people straight up front what we believe about Jesus.”

Once again proving that deception is at the heart of the J4Js message:

Regardless of what anyone says, we are Jews in that we are physically descended from Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. At the same time we are also Christians—those who believe in and follow Jesus, the Jewish Messiah. One classification does not cancel out the other, even though rabbis like to teach that Judaism and Christianity are mutually exclusive categories and hence are antithetical to one another.

Say, that sounds an awful lot like deception to me. Because why on earth would a rabbi know more about Judaism than an organization founded by Christian evangelicals with the sole purpose of converting Jews to Christianity? An organization whose funding comes from Christian evangelicals whose purpose is to convert Jews to Christianity?

David Brickner, the missionary group’s executive director, said Jewish leaders had a “kind of protective attitude, like this community is somehow not able to think for itself on these issues,” he said, “that somehow we’re Svengalis that can come in and mind-control.”

Translation: We’re allowed to proselytize, but no fair you calling out the facts while we’re in the middle of lying to your people for converts!

“Look, we didn’t come to believe this in order to win a popularity contest,” he continued. “We understand that Jesus has been a controversial issue for the Jewish community for 2,000 years. But we sure would like to have a voice on this.”

A voice in what? To be recognized as Jewish? I don’t think so, bub.

Marcia Eisenberg, the JCRC’s general counsel and director of its Jewish communal affairs and legal assistance program, said Jews for Jesus should not be afforded the luxury.

“They’re trying to define themselves into our community,” she said. “But we get to define our community, not you guys.”

Yes, but wait for the howls of the evangelicals, sorry, I mean J4Js, now that the Jews have launched a counter-offensive.

There’s also a New York Times article (and video) on this, both worth the look.

Oh, and there’s been an influx of J4Js here. They have a news aggregator that grabs stories about them off the net, and it’s found me. Of course, they lie and say they’re not from J4J. But the truth will out.

Perhaps it’s time I started an idea I’ve been toying with: Launching an evangelical Jewish outreach, to find people who want to convert to Judaism. It’ll be just like their outreach, well, except that I intend to tell the truth.

Sometimes, when I see more than one Hamas’ announcement in a row, I feel the invisible presence of late Yasser’s ghost. The ghost is smiling in his regular hideous way and rubbing his hand gleefully.

Warning: this image may cause suffering to children and is definitely prohibited for viewing during advanced stages of pregnancy!

Now, after you are sated by the image of the dear departed ghoul, take a look at these two JPost articles:

1. Hamas says it’s ready for cease-fire

For the first time since the beginning of the current round of violence, the Hamas government on Saturday announced its readiness to accept a cease-fire with Israel and hold negotiations to resolve the case of kidnapped IDF soldier Cpl. Gilad Shalit.

The announcement was made in the form of a five-point “initiative” that was published by the office of Palestinian Authority Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh in Gaza City.

and (on the other hand, or, rather, other face):

2. Hamas decries Abbas’ call to stop Kassam fire

Hamas decried on Sunday a recent call by Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas to stop Kassam rocket fire on Israel and release kidnapped IDF Cpl. Gilad Shalit.

A statement published by the group said that “The entire world knows that the rockets are our only way of defending ourselves,” Israel Radio reported.

Now you can see that the good ole ghoul has all the reasons to smile. After all, he has excellent heirs. At least as far as double-tongued way of speaking is concerned.

Cross-posted on SimplyJews

I took a break from the podcast this week, but it’s a great freshman effort from Brian of London, who takes over the hosting duties from Tom Paine. Brian’s got a very low-key style that just slams you in the face every time he cracks wise or makes a particularly moving point.

Two things not to be missed: Brian’s interview with Tom Paine, so you can finally learn all the things I learned about Tom years ago, with the exception of, well, no, wait, I’d best not reveal that. I don’t think he’d like it.

Also, Brian has a commentary on the anniversary of the 7/7 suicide bombings of London—taped while riding the London Tube.

And of course, there’s Damian Penny and Lair Simon, plus Blog News.

Go. Listen. You won’t regret it. Oh, and share it with your friends.

At long last, cats!

Gracie, on her favorite pile of tissue paper, on my sofa (where else?)

And Tig, asleep on the patio, where he changes position as the sun travels about.

On this lazy Sunday afternoon, you can find the Carnival of the Cats here.

And Haveil Havalim, the Carnival of the Jews, is here. There’s a picture of a cool cat leading off the post.

This post was originally published on June 6, 2005.

We caught up with the Dark Lord of the Sith, who took a few minutes out from his busy publicity schedule to talk with yourish.com.

MY: Well, the story is now complete, and your legion of fans knows how and why you stepped into the black suit.
DV: Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. I’ll bet you make bunny ears on blind people for laughs.
MY: Lord Vader, we’re curious to know what you think of the movies, and how your story has been told.
DV: You know the saying “History is written by the winners?”
MY: Yes.
DV: Hello, I didn’t win, y’know? That Lucas got almost nothing right, not even my name. I mean, Anakin? Annie? Annie? What kind of man calls himself Annie? First they get two of the worst actors in the universe to play my younger self, then they ruin my name and call me Annie! It’s enough to make you want to use your Sith powers to make sure that Lucas will never write another decent script so long as he lives.
MY: So what is your real name?
DV: It’s Leonard. Lennie! A nice manly name. None of this Annie crap.
MY: So what else did Lucas get wrong?
DV: I have never in my entire life—until now—ever uttered the word, “Yippee.” When Qui-Gon bought me out of slavery, I believe my words to Watto were more on the order of “[bleep] you, you stinking sack of [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]!”
MY: Whoa, family blog here!
DV: Edit it out, you [bleep].
MY: Lord Vader, how did you come to the dark side of the Force? What was it that really turned you bad? Was it truly your inability to find a good anger management class?
DV: Oh, don’t be ridiculous. The Sith Lords are no darker than your average Republicans. The Emperor wasn’t an Emperor, the Rebellion wasn’t a Rebellion. It was all politics. Palpatine won a closely contested election, and the Jedi got ticked. The Sith may have controlled the Chancellorship and the Senate, but the Jedi had the damned media behind them. And the academics, and they’re the ones who write the history books. The truth is, I started out with the Jedi, and Palpatine ultimately converted me to the Sith. The Sith political party, not some scary cult that went around lopping off people’s hands.

Plus, the Jedi were starting to talk about raising taxes and getting all touchy-feely on me. And then there was that insufferable Yoda. The creature never learned how to speak Galactic properly; always mangling his sentences. You have no idea how boring it was to sit in a Jedi council meeting and listen to him drone on and on. And Mace Windu? Listen, the man had fourteen mirrors in his home. Conceited? Hey, one of his padawans once pronounced his name Windoo instead of Windu, and Windu had him exiled to Tatooine to go undercover in Jabba the Hutt’s organization.
MY: Wait a minute, wait a minute—are you saying that the Sith and Jedi are only political parties? That there’s no Force behind either of them?
DV: Sorry to burst your bubble, bubelah, but I did tell you that Lucas got nearly everything wrong. And, ah, Palpatine and I didn’t kill the Jedi. The party died out of its own volition. There we are at war, and the Jedi are advocating diplomacy over force. Idiots. If someone’s shooting at you, saying, “Please stop shooting at me” has a proven one hundred percent failure rate. Come to think of it, the Sith and Jedi disagreements are not unlike the current battling going on between Republicans and Democrats, only our Jedi weren’t stupid enough to put a Howard Dean in charge. That snot-nosed son of mine—
MY: You mean Luke Skywalker really was your son? And he really defeated you in battle?
DV: I lost the election to him. You try and try to bring your kids up in your traditions, and the damned tree-huggers in the Jedi school system totally ruin them for you. He broke with me and ran on the Jedi ticket.
MY: You were elected?
DV: Of course. I was Palpatine’s Vice-Chancellor. We beat the Jedi twice, a fact that Lucas—who, I might point out, is a Democrat—seems to have overlooked in his films. But we didn’t win big, so Windu kept crying about a recount, then the lack of a mandate, and then the Jedi party used their influence in the media to beat up on us and make us look like the bad guys. They even tried to say we started the tariff war with the Trade Federation. So not our fault. We were all for free trade! It’s the Jedi that wanted to impose tariffs on everyone. So of course the Federation started taxing our goods. Everything started costing more, then my kids teamed up against me, and, well, you try to win an election when the cost of living is rising and your own kids are calling you Dark Father. After a while, people only heard “Darth Vader,” and that was that.
MY: I’m still trying to process this election stuff.
DV: Yeah, so are the Democrats. Get over it already.
MY: Okay, current Earth stuff: Bush or Kerry?
DV: Please. Bush.
MY: Favorite TV show?
DV: Lost. Oh, and Desperate Housewives. I’m a sucker for a nighttime soap.
MY: Who do you think will run for president in ‘08?
DV: Hillary. Definitely Hillary. Though she may find some surprises waiting for her.
MY: Meaning?
DV: Let’s just say that Luke and Leia weren’t my only kids. Padme may have dumped me, but she’s not the only fish in the sea. My second wife and I retired here after I lost the election, and, well, that’s all I’m saying for now. Except that he was born in the USA. And he’s a Republican.
MY: Thank you, Lord Vader, and, uh, may the—
DV: Oh, shut up.

Four years ago, I wrote these words after a blogger that I’d read regularly changed her blog to reverse type (light text on a dark background):

There is a really good reason why reverse type is not used in the print industry except as captions, pullquotes, and short bits of text: It is unreadable in the longer form.

Is there anyone out there who truly doesn’t suffer from eye fatigue after reading a long post on a website that has a dark background and a bright type? Is there anyone out there who doesn’t squint at those horrid Blogger templates that not only put forth tiny, 8 point type, but that disallow the user to increase the type size as s/he wills? Is there anyone out there over the age of 20 who really thinks that a valid reason to design your site with clashing colors is because it looks cool?

This rant is just as timely today. I recently found two new Jewish bloggers that wrote interesting posts, but who I will not read further because their choice of blog design hurts my eyes. Literally. It hurts my eyes. It probably hurts yours, too, but most people won’t complain to the blogger. They’ll simply not come back.

I have more than twenty years of experience in the publishing industry, and I was working in web design at Lucent in the late 1990s. Four years after I wrote this rant, these words are still valid:

Need I point out that a weblog is about communication? You want people to read what you’re writing. Then why make it harder on them by putting the words in tiny, unreadable fonts, or by having a background that all but overwhelms the type? Why give your reader a headache because you think tiny white type on a black background is cool? Why use a template that squishes the type into a small portion of the screen and leaves an enormous amount of empty space on the rest? The vast majority of you are not art directors or web designers; you haven’t the foggiest idea what is meant by “creative white space.” Here’s a hint: It isn’t supposed to be two-thirds of your screen.

You want graphics? Great. You want good design? Wonderful. The web is a visual communications medium. But the type is supposed to be the part that readers don’t have to play games with to view. If you’re writing a weblog, then it seems to me that the writing is what you’re trying to get across–not how neat your site looks. Communication is the key. Don’t you want to communicate more easily with your readers?

There are color schemes besides black type on white backgrounds that are still easy to read. You’ve seen them around. Contrast levels of type to background is the key to using different colors. My personal bias, obviously, is black on white. But there are weblogs that I read regularly that have different color types and backgrounds. Search around for examples if you think black on white is too boring. They’re out there, and they’re readable.

There’s one other reason you should seriously consider your color scheme and type size. I’m not willing to endure eye strain any longer. I’ve stopped reading weblogs that have eye-irritating, clashing colors and difficult-to-read type. If I’m not reading them, I’m not linking to them. And I don’t think I’m the only person out there who won’t read hard-on-the-eyes weblogs. So you’re losing readers, and you’re losing links–which loses you more potential readers. But hey, think of the upside–your weblog looks really cool.

Yeah. What she said. Change your backgrounds, and I will read your site. But my eyes are getting too old for this reverse-type crap.

Many of my readers may not have noticed the bylines on some of the posts here. Some months ago, I asked for assistance and invited a few people to help me keep this blog both interesting and active. Since then, nearly two hundred posts by other people have been written.

I want to take this time to thank my co-bloggers. Lair Simon and SnoopyTheGoon both have their own blogs, and often cross-post their content there.

I have written dozens of times how much I like Lair’s blog, his humor, and his overall style, even when he goes too far sometimes. Lair adds a deeper knowledge of palestinian politics with his posts here, as well as more (and higher-level) snark.

But I have not written enough how much I appreciate Snoopy’s contributions. They are, among other things thoughtful or satirical (or both) analyses of the way Israel and Jews are viewed by the world. And there is much more on Simply Jews, Snoopy’s own group blog, where he places the posts that are too over-the-top for my tastes. (Hm. Too over-the-top for me. I sense a pattern in my co-bloggers. Well, two of them, anyway.)

Drew W. and EricJ round off the team. They post less frequently, but are much appreciated when they do. (Encourage them to post more.)

I just thought I’d point out the contributors here, and remind you that you need to read the byline in the post title before using my name in the comments. If you like what Snoopy and Lair and Eric and Drew are doing, tell them.

And definitely visit my contributors’ blogs.

There are many ways to confuse any issue, but the cheapest and the most effective is, as usual, talk. Ynet prepared a good sampler of the Arab press on the subject of Gilad Shalit and the usual righteous grievances of Palestinians.

The editor of Egypt’s most mainstream newspaper, Usama Sariya, wrote: “What Israel needs to understand, after the tunnel operation and the abduction of the Israeli soldier, is that this operation answers all the criteria of a military operation; it has all the moral justifications and isn’t a suicide attack aimed at civilians.”

While the main statement is right (and without going into the issue of justification of the military operation as opposite to, say, trying to establish good neighborhood relationships), the above quote is trying to hide a lie behind the truth. I just have to repeat myself:

The capture of Corporal Gilad Shalit, being by itself an act of war, ceased to be such immediately after the soldier was hidden in a concealed location. Had Hamas wanted to acquire some semblance of legitimacy, it would have declared Gilad a POW, allow ICRC access to him to establish that he is alive and to report on his health, in short - demonstrate behavior expected of a polity. Such behavior would have allowed negotiations on exchange of prisoners (although most of the prisoners kept in Israeli jails could hardly claim the status of POW, but I am sure a way could have been found). Instead, everything that happened since the capture clearly shows that Hamas cannot liberate itself from the behavior pattern of a terrorist gang. Now the capture of Gilad Shalit became a kidnapping, and any demands issued by Hamas are no more than blackmail by a kidnapper.

Ynet continues:

Most of the opinions expressed in the Arab world regarding the kidnapping provide plenty of explanations in support of future kidnappings. “While the Palestinians took just one soldier captive, Israel is holding 10,000 Palestinians captive, whom no one is speaking up for”,said Hizbullah leader Hassan Nasrallah in a speech Friday.

It was frequently claimed in the Arab media that Israel in general and the IDF in particular were international war criminals, as they kidnapped parliament members and ministers in violation of international law…

If kidnapping becomes a frequent occurrence it will be a completely different ballgame. Whatever Arab media claims, Hamas is still a terrorist organization, and its ministers are still fair game. It’s no use putting the gloss of respectability on the ugly face of a terrorist gang that considers kidnapping a legitimate tool in its arsenal.

And blind support provided by Arab press is causing only more damage to Palestinians.

Cross-posted on SimplyJews