Yourish.com

Cutting straight to the point

ABC: Bite me

Posted on May 16th, 2006 at 7:56 pm by Meryl Yourish.

Filed under: Television

So let me see if I get this straight. Grey’s Anatomy has been on Sunday nights for its entire run. So I tape it Sunday night because I’m in NJ with family, and don’t get a chance to watch it until I come home Monday night. But I don’t get to it Monday night, but I find out the season finale is going to be on, and it’s going to be two hours. But I make a mistake on when Bush is going to speak, and when the show is on, and as I’m channel-surfing, I suddenly discover that it’s on. The show. But I don’t know if it’s a repeat, because I haven’t yet seen the show from Monday night. So I figure I’ve blown it, and I’m watching the end of the show. But it turns out I was in the middle of the repeat, and the finale was not yet on, but because I have the time all screwed up, I don’t realize until it’s too late to tape any of the shows in their entirety. So I miss the last two episodes of the season.

Because ABC put it on a Monday night.

Because ABC sucks. Because television stations don’t give a shit about their viewers any more, or their viewing habits. 24 was on Monday night, and I’ve been watching that. I had space on a tape all set for Grey’s Anatomy, but ABC screwed me totally. So now, what, I don’t get to see the finale until the rerun airs in August or September?

Thanks a lot, ABC.

Oh, and — bite me.

Can you hear me now? No? BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Posted on May 16th, 2006 at 4:20 pm by Laurence Simon.

Filed under: Israel

Ever get so frustrated with your cell phone service that…

Palestinian gunmen stormed the headquarters of mobile company Jawwal in Gaza on Tuesday in protest at having their phones cut off in a sign of growing lawlessness in the coastal strip, employees said.

They said around 20 gunmen entered the building saying their cellphone memory cards were not working. A short while later they began shooting, damaging over 10 computers but causing no casualties.

Jawwal, is the mobile subsidiary of Palestinian telecoms firm PalTel, which operates in the West Bank and Gaza Strip.

Yeah, that’ll get your problems fixed. Shoot up the place. Smash the equipment necessary to fix your problem. Threaten the staff with bodily harm and death.

Of course, the cell phone company isn’t taking things sitting down:

Employees said the firm’s managers were mulling whether to cut services in Gaza on Wednesday in protest at the attack. The building is close to a complex which houses a number of Palestinian security services.

But… but… but… isn’t that a disproportional response? Isn’t that acting unilaterally? Isn’t that infringing on the free speech of peace-loving Gazans?

… I’m sorry, but that number is no longer in service… please hang up and try again…

Is this like the fabled “opening the gates of hell” response?

Posted on May 16th, 2006 at 12:30 pm by Meryl Yourish.

Filed under: World, palestinian politics

Mahmoud Abbas tells the EU why they should continue giving money to terrorists:

Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas warned Tuesday of a Palestinian “explosion of anger” if international donors did not move fast to restore aid cut off in recent weeks.

“Life will be frozen and there will be an explosion of anger and this would lead to a chaotic situation of which we cannot forsee the results,” Abbas told a news conference after a speech to the European Parliament in the French city of Strasbourg.

Here’s an idea: Stop destroying the greenhouses and, like, build your own industries. That would bring in money. Oh, wait. You can’t export via Egypt, because Egypt won’t let you. And you can’t export via Israel, because the crossings keep getting attacked by terrorists and then being closed.

Perhaps you should give up terrorism, pals.

In his address to the European Parliament, Abbas appealed for the EU to give the Hamas-led government a “chance to adapt” to international requirements and not cut off aid to the Palestinian Authority.

Because it’s been, what, three, four months? And they’ve showed so much movement in those few months, eh? (By “so much,” we mean “none”.)

Let the “explosion of anger” happen. Maybe then the world will stop pretending that the palestinians want anything less than the destruction of Israel.

Katyusha lands in Israel

Posted on May 16th, 2006 at 11:30 am by Meryl Yourish.

Filed under: Israel

Another Katyusha rocket was fired at Israel. This one actually hit something.

A Katyusha rocket fired Tuesday morning at the western Negev community of Nativ Haasara struck a chicken coop, killing thirty chickens, and damaging the community’s greenhouse.

The rocket fell on a hilltop opposite one of the coops belonging to a resident. Shrapnel struck the coop facing the hilltop and the adjacent greenhouse. A pipe bringing water to the coop was also hit.

Wait for the international condemnation — from animal rights groups.

Creepy headline of the week

Posted on May 16th, 2006 at 10:00 am by Meryl Yourish.

Filed under: Life

Saw this headline:

Alligators out of their winter stupor, starting to feed

And immediately thought, “And they’re eating women.”

I visited my mother a lot when she lived in Hollywood, Florida. There was a canal behind her house that had little gators, and a preserve down the street that had really big ones.

Tellya how I knew the canal behind Mom’s condo had alligators. The first time I visited her, I was twenty years old, and didn’t want to sit by the pool filled with old people. So I took my towel and went on the lawn behind Mom’s condo for the first couple of days. About the third day I was there, I saw that the next-door neighbors had a statue of an alligator. It was about three feet long. “Wow, that’s a realistic-looking statue,” I thought, and went to the edge of the porch to look at it more closely.

And it ran into the canal and disappeared.

That was the last time I sunbathed near the canal.

The brownshirt star of Alabama

Posted on May 16th, 2006 at 9:30 am by SnoopyTheGoon.

Filed under: Anti-Semitism, Holocaust, Politics

Montgomery Advertiser reports on continuing shenanigans of the Alabama’s rising star Larry Darby.

BIRMINGHAM — A Democratic candidate for attorney general denies the Holocaust occurred and said Friday he will speak this weekend to a “pro-white” organization that is widely viewed as being racist. Larry Darby concedes his views are radical, but he said they should help him win wide support among Alabama voters as he tries to “reawaken white racial awareness” with his campaign against Mobile County District Attorney John Tyson. Speaking in an interview with The Associated Press, Darby said he believes no more than 140,000 Jewish people died in Europe during World War II, and most of them succumbed to typhus.

Here is that character’s picture, just in case:

He is a lawyer, so when you spit at him, keep a safe distance, spit usually bounces of these types.

Darby said he will speak today near Newark, N.J., at a meeting of National Vanguard, which bills itself as an advocate for the white race. Some of his campaign materials are posted on the group’s Internet site. “It’s time to stop pushing down the white man. We’ve been discriminated against too long,” Darby said in the interview.

Tyson [Darby's competitor] said that aside from his views on race and the Holocaust, Darby also has publicly advocated legalizing drugs and shooting all illegal immigrants.

No need to comment, right?

Cross-posted on SimplyJews

Get out your violins

Posted on May 16th, 2006 at 8:30 am by Meryl Yourish.

Filed under: Hamas

The MSM is ramping up its “poor, poor, pitiful pals” stories.

He’s overdrawn at the bank, owes $400 to the grocery, can no longer afford baby formula for his youngest and is trying to sell his 16-year-old car for half its value to raise cash for food.

After two months without his government salary, Abdel Hakim Abu Samra, 47, is fast running out of options. “It’s the worst time we’ve had,” he said, comparing the deepening crisis since Hamas rose to power in March to previous periods, including two bloody uprisings against Israel.

And there’s no end in sight. The West won’t lift crippling economic sanctions and Hamas refuses to moderate its violent anti-Israel ideology, even though its government is broke and unable to pay 165,000 employees.

There’s also internal fighting, some say even the threat of civil war. Gunmen from Hamas and the defeated Fatah Party have exchanged fire repeatedly as their leaders wrangle for power.

Gasp! No! Internal fighting! Say it isn’t so! But hey, what is missing from this paragraph?

Landlords won’t evict delinquent tenants, utilities keep services going despite overdue bills. Neighbors share meals and some of the wealthy grant loans. But the stores are empty and streets deserted.

Points to anyone who knows that the utilities are supplied by Israeli companies, who are not turning them off despite not being paid.

And note what manages to make it into this paragraph, and what is missing.

The U.N. Relief and Works Agency, which distributes oil, sugar, rice, flour and other staples to 765,000 refugees in Gaza and the West Bank every month, has seen a fivefold increase in demand. It can’t meet the surge because of budget shortfalls, said Adnan Abu Hassna, an UNRWA spokesman. Israeli closures of border crossings make it harder for food to come in, he said.

Right. Blame Israel, but don’t point out that the crossings are closed due to terrorist attacks, and the threats of terrorist attacks. No context. Just blame Israel.

So. What is the belt-tightening lesson teaching them?

For now, most Palestinians blame the U.S., Europe and Israel, not Hamas, for their woes. Abdelkarim, the West Bank economist, said the mood could turn if the crisis drags on.

The West is seen as hypocritical for pushing democracy, but refusing to accept the outcome of the parliament election that swept Hamas into power. Many Palestinians say they cast a protest vote against the corruption of Fatah, the former ruling party, but didn’t endorse Hamas ideology. They’d like Hamas to become more moderate, but fume over what they perceive to be Western arrogance.

Of course. Don’t ever blame your own actions, like, say, electing a terrorist group to run your territory and then act all surprised when people refuse to deal with terrorists. No, it is always someone else’s fault. I was watching Hamas spokesmen tell Frontline that if the Hamas government fails, it will be the fault of the West. They sound like nothing more than a people in eternal childhood.

All your blog are belong to Pluck

Posted on May 16th, 2006 at 7:30 am by Meryl Yourish.

Filed under: Bloggers

Gary Farber’s caught a company that is trying to gain all rights to your blog posts, if you’re naive enough to sign up with them. The company goes by the name of Blogburst and/or Pluck.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the publishing world, there are legitimate publishers, who buy your work, pay you a flat fee and/or royalties, and there are those who pay in copies or a penny per word. And then there are those who try to rip you off completely, by purchasing all rights to your work.

For example, a standard short story contract gives the author a flat fee and grants the publisher the right to publish the story, and often first reprint rights. After that, the story is the author’s, in perpetuity.

Now contrast that with what Blogburst is trying to do with your blog posts. They want the rights. In perpetuity.

Subject to the terms and conditions of this Agreement, you grant to Pluck and its affiliates a non-exclusive, worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual license to reproduce, distribute, make derivative works of, perform, display, disclose, and otherwise dispose of the Work (and derivative works thereof) for the purposes of (a) modifying the Work without substantially changing its original meaning, and (b) distributing the Work (and derivative works thereof) to Publisher electronic web sites or corresponding printed editions, whether now known or hereafter devised.

Yes, according to that clause, all your blog are belong to Pluck. It appears to be a work-for-hire type clause, only they don’t guarantee you any payment, and, well, you didn’t sign on to be their employee. Or so you thought. Don’t be a sucker. I know there are a lot of smaller bloggers out there trying to get big. This isn’t the way to go.

And if by some chance this post stopped you from signing up and getting your posts’ ownerships transferred, go over to Gary’s place and give him a tip. He’s the one who emailed me about them.