Yourish.com

Some people will start fasting tomorrow evening, according to their faith. Some other people want to make the first people suffer from extra hunger pangs by deliberately freeing some tasty succulent canards in the direction of the fasting people. Here comes one:

Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh has said the security forces have arrested a group of alleged Islamist militants linked to Israeli intelligence.

And of course (this usually goes without saying):

Mr Saleh did not say what evidence had been found to show the group’s links with Israel, a regional enemy of Yemen.

There even is a name:

Mr Saleh did not identify the suspects, but official sources were quoted saying it was same cell – led by a militant called Abu al-Ghaith al-Yamani – whose arrest was announced a week after the attack.

Don’t let the Arabic-sounding name to mislead you. The Elders obtained a photo of this rabid Zionist from their archive:

Oops, sorry – another glitch in our archiving system. Here it goes – second try:

Well, this should settle the misunderstanding, shouldn’t it? Now to the next canard:

A foreign aircraft has been forced to land in Iran after violating Iranian airspace, Iranian news agencies say.

There is some controversy on the nature of the passengers, though:

The semi-official Fars said the plane was a US Falcon carrying military officials, while state TV said it was European with no Americans on board.

Here come Elders to the rescue (with their powerful photo equipment):

We cannot show the aircraft, it is still classified (meaning that our trained reptilians are currently dismantling it for future documentation and redesign to local standards).

In related news:

Girl gave ‘hash cakes to teachers’

Man ate wife’s passport

Odourless underpants – Subtle Butt

Have a nice and easy fast!

Cross-posted on SimplyJews.

Internet posters blame Jews for financial crash, this blogger says. This one joins him too.

Judging by the number of surfers coming here with the “Bernanke Jew?” question, some people think they are getting wise to the real culprits of the latest mischief caused by certain parties on the financial markets.

Well, it is not enough to jump directly to the question whodunit. First of all, no one yet asked the most important question: if the initial value of all these stocks, property and stuff was X and today all this costs only Y, who pocketed the difference? Yeah, well, you know how it goes.

Also – no one noticed what happened in UN recently. First came the speech by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that raised an awful din in the Zionist-owned press. Notice that during the speech the Israeli representatives were absent. Then came a fiery retort by one and only Shimon Peres, and lo and behold – Iranian representatives are out for lunch! Isn’t it a hint?

And no one, but no one at all noticed the proximity of these speeches to the financial do. So sit up and take heed – here comes the skinny. First of all, the whole brouhaha on the stock exchange and all that was orchestrated and carried out by the Illuminati, Talmudic Masons and Zoroastrians, of whom Mahmoud A. is really awfully fond, although himself he is a closet Baha’i. I know it may sound confusing for the newbies, so just call the whole bunch of them Elders (of Z, of course), since this is what it really is about.

Now, you may want to ask, what is that enmity between Iran and Israel about then? Simply for show, folks, nothing more. Notice the inventive way we use to exchange messages between us:

You will be surprised how easy it is to pass (and receive) a smallish capsule with written material (or even a memory card full with MP3/4 of the latest shit not yet on the market) when you tongue your good friend.

The rabbi whom you see transferring the capsule in the picture above has been the messenger of choice for the Elders for a long time. Unfortunately, he had to be replaced, due to some yucky fungus growing on his tongue from all that data transfer. So we had us a replacement. This time it is, while still a rabbi, a female one. Goes by the moniker of Rabbi Lynn Gottlieb and seems to be located in Berkeley, California. Not a surprise, in fact the location was practically expected. Here is how she looks:

As you can see, we have done our best to keep the general look (and feel) more or less the same, with some redistribution of hair. To keep Mahmoud A. comfy. In any case, we have already organized an initial meeting between the two in Tehran a few months ago, so her appearance in that New York bash shouldn’t have been a complete shocker.

Of course, we couldn’t show here the actual act of kissing between the two, because the written dispensation for public kissing that Mahmoud A. got from his Ayatollah states that it is valid only for men. Some claim that it is a result of a clerical error or some mistranslation (after all, we all know that Farsi is famous for its ambiguity and resulting translation issues). Anyhow, the only people Mahmoud is kissing in public are of male persuasion, but at least he is doing it a lot and with fervor approaching religious.

In this case the kiss was not a public one. And no, Mahmoud didn’t agree to enter the women’s restroom, so the data transfer was performed this time in a cubicle of a men’s restroom. No big deal for a rabbi, albeit a female one.

Yeah, so this is how it goes, and both Mahmoud and the Elders have only one problem now: how to get the green stains off our fingers, what with counting and packing all that dough. Anyone has an idea?

Oh, and re that Bank crisis is Allahs revenge on US stuff: forget it. We are not sharing with him. No way.

Cross-posted on SimplyJews.