Hugo Chavez in critical condition?

Oh, I hope it’s true.

He’s helping Iran put missile bases in Venezuela that can threaten the U.S.

If he dies, the missile bases die.

Here’s hoping.

Posted in Iran, World | 1 Comment

Friday funny, black humor version

Sandy Cash, “Hey Jews.”

h/t: Rahel, who will get cat pictures tomorrow.

Posted in Gaza, Israel, Israel Derangement Syndrome | 1 Comment

Finally Friday briefs

In the media, everyone thinks you’re a dog: There’s no Israel story so stupid that the international anti-Israel media won’t pick it up. After Ma’ariv and Ynet erroneously reported that a dog was sentenced to death by stoning from a Bet Din (a rabbinical court), the story spread like wildfire—after Ma’ariv retracted it as erroneous. Clearly, the news media never so much as read the original story, but instead relied on second-hand accounts. This is the media that would have us believe write factual pieces on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. BWAHAHAHA! Sorry, couldn’t even write that with a straight face.

And the Keen Grasp of the Obvious Award this week goes to: Hillary Clinton, for calling the Gaza Flotilla a “provocation.”

That’s because it isn’t only the territories they’re after: The weekly Bi’ilin protests were joined by the Palestinian prime minister (obviously looking to brush up his street cred so Hamas won’t insist he be fired). This, in spite of the fact that Israel started moving the fence, as directed to do so by the court. They even brought a bulldozer. Gee, I hope it wasn’t a Caterpillar. They’re supposed to be boycotting that company.

Oh, that’s rich: Hamas says that if Netanyahu moves forward with his plan to make prison harsher for Hamas inmates, it would be “against international law.” Really? The kind of law that covers prisoners like Gilad Shalit being given regular contact with the ICRC and human conditions? So, what is Netanyahu planning to do to these prisoners? Horrible things, like forbidding them from getting college degrees while in prison. You bastard, Bibi! How dare you!

Oh, look: A real Gaza aid ship: A ship docked in an Egyptian port this week and offloaded humanitarian supplies for Gaza—without any media attention whatsoever. Why is it, then, that the Gaza Flotilla proceeds even after the IHH dropped out? Because it’s not about the supplies. It’s about breaking the siege, or, in plain terms, helping Hamas import weapons even more easily than they do. Let’s be honest: Do you think any of the assholes on the ships who are “protesting” the “siege” would shed a single tear if Hamas rockets rained down on Israel and killed hundreds of civilians? No. They’d shed crocodile tears and then say that Israel brought it on itself by stealing Palestinian land, or something. Because on their website you can read the ultimate goal of the flotilla f*ckers: The end of Israel.

We recognize the right of all Palestinian refugees and exiles and their heirs to return without delay to their homes in Israel and the occupied Palestinian territories, to recover their properties, and to receive compensation for damage, dispossession and unlawful use of such property, in accordance with international law. This is in the first instance an individual and not a collective right, and cannot be negotiated except by the individual.

In other words: Down with Israel, up with Palestine. No human rights for Jews. Ancestral homeland? Psha. You left it. It’s theirs now.

Assholes.

Posted in Anti-Semitism, Gaza, Hamas, Israel, Israel Derangement Syndrome | 3 Comments

The what day is it, anyway? news briefs

So how long before Hamas reroutes the construction materials to their bunkers? New housing projects in Gaza, and will this stop the flotilla from claiming that Gazans are in dire humanitarian straights? No more than the State Department warning telling Americans not to go to Gaza.

When even the BBC says he isn’t a spy, it’s time for Egypt to give it up. See title.

What does it take to get a balanced piece on an Israeli from the AP? Working for a Democratic Congressman. Grapel was Ackerman’s intern. Even the BBC news piece above is balanced. So now we know, all we have to do is send the IDF to work for Dems, and the news media will stop attacking them for being in the IDF.

Yeah, that’ll make Hamas stand up and take notice: The ICRC is calling for Hamas to show proof Gilad Shalit is still alive. Like they’re going to without some kind of “payment.” This is the organization that keeps calling to kidnap more soldiers so they can be used as bargaining chips.

Cutting it off so we can keep cutting it off: A whole bunch of plaintiffs, including both Muslims and Jews, are suing to keep the anti-circumcision measure off the ballot in San Francisco, citing First Amendment rights. It’s about frakking time, because that measure is totally against the First Amendment rights of Jews and Muslims—wait, what? They’re suing because local governments don’t have the authority to restrict medical procedures? You know what, people? While that’s a good legal strategy for the short run, he’s only going to try to get it on the state ballot. A First Amendment case would prevent ballot measures like that anywhere. However. Herr Hess is going to be extremely disappointed, but I’m betting he makes a ton of money from the Jew-haters with his execrable Foreskin Man comic books.

Israel-hating Jews: American Jews make up a quarter of the membership of the new Gaza Flotilla. But one thing that the article doesn’t say is how many of them ever go to synagogue, or keep kosher, or bother at all with the Law that Moses brought down from Mount Sinai. My guess? Almost none of them. Religious Jews have better things to do than protest against Israeli actions. Also, just for the record: How many of these Jews are protesting the actions of Syria, Libya, Egypt, and Lebanon? This is why I have zero respect for these people as Jews. They’re basically Jews in name only. And their names are used to legitimize their anti-Israel causes, so eff them, and the ship they sailed in on.

Posted in Anti-Semitism, Gaza, Israel, Middle East | 2 Comments

Rounding up the news

Kassams in the Negev—again: Looks like Iran is starting its “Hey! Look at that guy!” strategy to help its client, Syria, survive. Hamas is firing rockets and mortars again, after a month and a half of peace. Gee. Whatever could be the reason?

Yep, Iran and Hezbullah are shooting Syrian civilians: More and more stories like this are coming out. Suddenly, in an army that bans beards, bearded soldiers are firing on civilians. Also speaking bad Arabic and good Farsi. Gee. Whoever could that be? And oh yeah—they were the ones behind the border incursions into Israel. Color me shocked, shocked to hear that those demonstrations weren’t spontaneous.

And the Hamas-Fatah split grows wider: Hamas says Fatah can’t name the prime minister. Awesome! Actually, it’s just revealing the terrorists behind the curtain. Good, good, and good. In the book, the Wizard was a bad man (not a mischievous one as seen in the movie), who made a deal with a witch to steal the throne of Oz by kidnapping and hiding the royal heir. So kind of Hamas to reveal the Palestinians’ machinations before September. Maybe that’s why Abbas is suddenly saying he might sit down and talk with the Israelis instead of calling for a state.

The flotilla will be televised: Major media reporters are going to be on the boats. I sure hope the IDF is working hard to find ways to stop the flotilla without having to use force, because the media is going to slam Israel no matter what. Please don’t give them film to show over and over again on the 24 hour news channels!

Posted in Gaza, Hamas, Israel, Middle East, Syria, Terrorism | Tagged | 2 Comments

Weird Al does Lady Gaga

He just performs this way.

Posted in Humor, Music, Pop Culture | Comments Off on Weird Al does Lady Gaga

Tuesday briefs

If our enemies left us alone, we’d destroy ourselves: Jews have argued about religion for millennia. So of course, we’re still doing it. As a Conservative Jew, I am offended by this. Well, partly. To be honest, I suspect Reform conversions are not all that on the money. And as I’m not as religious as some, I am confused by this. But both of them are causing controversy and argument, and you know, I’m really glad that this is the big news in Israel today. I’d much rather have us arguing among ourselves than banding together to fight an external enemy. (P.S.: Shouldn’t you keep these locations secret? I mean, really.)

Tzipni Livni’s still around? See title.

Three cheers for the unity deal! Hamas and Fatah are shooting themselves in the foot. Awesome. Keep it up, boys. We love it when you fight among yourselves, because that makes our job so much easier. Especially since the biggest point of the faux unity deal was to show that the Palestinians are united and should get that state declaration from the UN. Riiiiight.

Bashar Assad falling down: Part two. The big question is: When he’s back into a corner, will he do what his father did? Right now, I think he will. I do not think he’s going to give up power. He’s seen what happened to the rulers around him.

This is great news: Turkey and Israel are holding secret meetings to mend fences. Looks like the winds of change are blowing in a good direction for once. They’ve called off Turkish participation in the Gaza Flotilla and are trying to convince the useless idiots not to go. Why? Because Assad’s fall threatens Turkey, and they suddenly realize they may need Israel’s friendship. Assad’s fall also hurts Iran. Hey, we’ll take what we can get. Claire Berlinski says the average Turk is not the anti-Semitic jihadi you’ll find in the IHH, and as she’s been living in Turkey and covering it for years, I’ll take her word for it.

Posted in Hamas, Israel, Middle East, palestinian politics, Syria | Comments Off on Tuesday briefs

Jolly Roger strikes again – after a decent interval

I am sure that by now the subject has almost exhausted itself. After all, how can the two or three readers of this blog* be interested by the jolly Roger of NYT after a series of posts on same?

But what can I do? Really, the man defies any and all rules and/or limits put on obsessive behavior in polite society. So, after reading the new opus that again calls for rapprochement and, to be sure, “engagement” with Iran, titled (believe it or not) Iran Without Nukes, I have decided to have another go. Not that I hope for a change…

If you remember the Roger Cohen’s “mea culpa” of two years ago, after a series of idiotic articles on “flawed but vibrant” democracy of Iranian Ayatollahs, crowned by the confession:

I erred in underestimating the brutality and cynicism of a regime that understands the uses of ruthlessness.

Yes, Roger has erred – again, I have to add. Of course, he didn’t just up and left, not without a defiant:

I’ve argued for engagement with Iran and I still believe in it, although, in the name of the millions defrauded, President Obama’s outreach must now await a decent interval.

Obviously, the “decent interval” is over now, after two years, which is really a long time for Roger to hold his gushing waters of admiration for the “flawed but vibrant democracy”. I confess I’ve expected a two or three months wait, but then the Arab spring happened, causing our Roger to be gushingly and tremblingly distracted, issuing another stream of admiring and, as usual, wrong predictions.

So what does Roger Cohen, the impervious and unstoppable torch bearer for Ayatollahs, say this time?

Iran is weak now, its ideology as tired as Osama Bin Laden’s, as marginal to peoples questing to reconcile their Muslim faith and modernity in new ways.

And a quote from Seymour Hersch, a New Yorker loony:

There’s just no serious evidence inside that Iran is actually doing anything to make a nuclear weapon.

And, similar to another Iran apologist, Juan Cole, reference to Mossad retired chief, Meir Dagan, on stupidity of a military move against Iran. But chiefly:

The nuclear bogeyman obsession has been a distraction from the need to try to tease out a relationship with Tehran, see Iran as it is.

See Iran as it is… this is the crux of the matter: this rare ability to see Iran as it is, awarded to selected few, like Sy Hersch, Juan Cole and, of course, our jolly Roger. The only problem is that many people see it differently, like in this, to take one of hundreds examples:

Iran has accelerated efforts to develop a long-range ballistic missile, despite tough international sanctions imposed a year ago, the Israeli newspaper Haaretz has reported, citing an unpublished report by U.N. experts.

And:

These accounts coincide with a third U.N. report, by the International Atomic Energy Agency, dated May 24 that indicated the Iranians may be close to producing a nuclear warhead that could be carried by their intermediate-range ballistic weapons.

And:

IAEA Director General Yukiya Amano said in the nine-page report his information was Iran has tested and manufactured the shaped explosives used with enriched uranium to create the critical mass that generates a nuclear explosion. He also cited information that Iran had redesigned the nose cone of the Shehab-3 so it could carry a nuclear warhead rather than one containing conventional high explosives.

But all this is, of course, just more war drums from the Zionist warmongers and their Pentagon ZOG puppets… ehehe. And, of course, the Zionist-friendly stooges in UN.

Well, what can I say about our jolly Roger. Another image – that of a habitual barroom brawler that picks himself up from the floor, wipes (with his sleeve, of course) the blood and snot from his damaged face and, with an appropriate war cry, stumbles back into the fray – comes to mind. No matter that the aftermath will be new “mea culpa” and broken bones – after a recovery, he will be back again, in the same old barroom…

So, a repeat requires another repeat, and I don’t see any need to apologize. Here it is, to be repeated each time Mr Cohen repeats his BS:

Roger Cohen is just another link in the long chain of the fellow travelers (or useful idiots, take your pick), one of whom produced that masterpiece in 1924 for NYT:

Sad.

(*) It is not this blog, it is that one.

Judeopundit’s view of same story.

Cross-posted on SimplyJews

Posted in Iran, Media Bias | Comments Off on Jolly Roger strikes again – after a decent interval

Monday morning briefs

Amir Peretz: Too stupid to read a newspaper these days. Seriously? He want to turn Israel back into a welfare state? Because that’s working so well for Greece. And Europe. And California. Sure. That’s the economic model that’s so successful, the current administration is willing to bankrupt America over it. Awesome way to try to woo voters away from Netanyahu. Because that’s what Israel wants, to be just like all the other failing welfare states in the world.

The Hamas-Fatah fake deal is falling through: I was pretty confident it wouldn’t last until September. Looks like I was right. Of course, the AP has already written one hagiography of how awesome Hamas is going to be in the unity government. Hands-off. Won’t impose any of their policies. Not at all. Nope. They’re just joining the cause so they can have a state called Palestine. After that, nothing. Just like the Muslim Brotherhood’s hagiography. Yes, the AP is that gullible. “Islamic group seeks place in a democratic Egypt”… sure. They want democracy. Their younger members are all about the Facebook, you see.

Bashar Assad falling down? Falling down? Falling down? Bashar Assad falling down? Awww, dorktator. (Actually, I have no sympathy at all for him, and hope that the Syrians don’t hate Israel in spite of the indoctrination they’ve had. Not that I think they do. I just hope.)

Just business: While looking at a news article about oil being in a bear market (WOOT!), I noticed that Microsoft is taking over Skype, and as a reward to the people who built Skype into such a desirable tool, they’re firing them now so they won’t have to pay more money if they’re fired when Microsoft takes over. Awesome. Stories like this is what makes me hate large businesses like Microsoft.

Posted in Hamas, Media Bias, palestinian politics, Syria | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Monday morning briefs

Movie weekend

X-Men First Class on Friday, Mr. Popper’s Penguins on Saturday, and Pirates of the Caribbean today. I enjoyed them all. You know, I almost never listen to reviewers anymore. I’m even planning on seeing Green Lantern, even though I have gone from not being able to stand Ryan whatshisname to liking him in that chick flick he did with Sandra Bullock, although that could be because Sandra Bullock makes anyone look good.

But not until next weekend. I’m all movied out.

Posted in Movies | Comments Off on Movie weekend

Twinsday, revived

Ah, Twinsdays. Back before I was fully gainfully employed, every Thursday, Sarah and I would get together and go to the Farmer’s Market or some other market, have lunch, spend a few hours, and she had the twins along until they went to school. It became my favorite day of the week. I missed it when I went back to the workplace full-time, but Sarah still brought the twins (and brothers) along to meet for lunch on most Thursdays. The kids all enjoyed Large Financial Company and Large Company in Richmond’s cafeterias (the latter more than the former, as it had a way better selection of food).

In any case, a couple of weeks ago, the twins complained to me that I had taken each of their older brothers home for an overnight after Friday night services in the past month or so. Jake and I saw Thor, and Nate and I went out for breakfast at a favorite restaurant. The twins wanted to know when they got to stay over Aunt Meryl’s again. I told them after school was over.

Well. Last weekend, I was in NJ. The week before that, I was in South Carolina for my nephew’s graduation from Marine Boot Camp. This weekend, I had planned to do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not. A. Thing. Because I wanted my peace and quiet. And then Sarah says to me, “So the twins are coming over this weekend?”

Sigh.

School ended Friday. School was over. Nine-year-olds are extremely literal. And as they’d already begun to talk about how excited they were about staying over Aunt Meryl’s, well, there you have it. Today is Twinsday.

We saw Mr. Popper’s Penguins this afternoon, and we are going out to dinner in a couple of hours. The movie was very amusing. Max told me all about how different the book was on the way home (I asked; I’ve never read it). And now, they’re downstairs playing Little Big Planet. They’re very excited because they’re sleeping somewhere different now. Rebecca usually sleeps on a mattress in my office, and Max sleeps in the guest room because they go to sleep first, and if Max won’t go to sleep if his brothers are doing something interesting in front of him. The older boys sleep on the sofabed and in a sleeping bag, depending on which one wants to do what. This time, Rebecca is getting the guest room and Max wants the sofabed. He’s been asking me to open it up since he got here. Nope. Eight o’clock, and no sooner, I say.

Well, I’ll have my peace and quiet tonight after they’re asleep.

Posted in Life | Comments Off on Twinsday, revived

The I really TGIF brief briefs

It’s been a long week.

Why is this so much less important than Anthony Weiner’s wiener? A suspect and suspicious vehicle, including a possible bomb, have been found at Arlington National Cemetery and the Pentagon. And yet, it’s barely breaking the news, with only a few hundred stories. This happened at least two hours ago; it screwed up traffic big-time at our capital. And yet, we’re still waiting for the news alerts. Expect more attempts like this between now and the tenth anniversary of 9/11.

Israel warns Flotilla Fools: We’ll hit back twice as hard. The news media types are tsk-tsking over this warning, but it’s appropriate. Alice Walker may be a famous writer (whose books I’ll never buy again), but she’s a fool if she thinks she’s not being used by the violent anti-Israel types like the IHH—who say they’re not sending the Mumbling Mimbletonia after all. Of course, all of the news media are taking the “Israel said” approach when explaining why nine “activists” were killed. Oh, wait! I found an unbiased account on Sky News. Isn’t that Rupert Murdoch’s organization? And as an added bonus, read Paul Russell’s response to some idiot who intends to be a Flotilla Fool. I love the National Post of Canada.

Posted in Gaza, Israel, Terrorism | Tagged | Comments Off on The I really TGIF brief briefs

“Where’s my gold bars?”, asks future POTUS

It is with quiet glee and intense happiness that I’ve perused this article.

Are the gold bars in Fort Knox really made of the precious metal? Or has the U.S. government secretly sold off the nation’s stockpile and replaced it with metal bars that are only painted gold?

Ron Paul wants to find out.

Giving legitimacy to an Internet conspiracy theory that the gold in Fort Knox is fake, the iconoclast Republican congressman from Texas has asked adminstration officials to audit the purity of the nation’s 700,000 gold bars held in Fort Knox, according to an internal Treasury document obtained by CNBC.

Then I have called my supervisor (well, there is still one, my rank in the Elders’ HQ notwithstanding) and received a special permission to go public on this subject. So, here we go.

It is not a secret that chief of Federal Reserve is usually Jewish. Many fine upstanding citizens complained and are complaining about it, to no avail of course. What was a secret until now is that every new Fed chief goes through extensive and exhausting program of athletic training prior to getting the job. I suspect that some of you may have already guessed the reason for it. Indeed, schlepping the fake “gold” bars into Fort Knox and getting the true ones out, all that during the night, is not an easy task. If you appreciate that a gold bar weighs 27.5 pounds and consider the fact that every morning the chief has to be in the office, bright and chirpy, you will understand why we replace them so frequently. No, it’s not because of the cushy job with great benefits, I can tell you that much…

Well, by now the story bears telling, since a) many of you suspected so anyway and b) the job is finished, to Elders’ HQ full satisfaction. We left a few real gold bars here and there, for the usual ole spot check (to be conducted by the chief of Federal Reserve, of course, so we’ve marked these bars by a Star of David). Otherwise, all the good stuff is located now under a certain ugly (some even say ugliest) building in Jerusalem.

As for that:

The Treasury document says it would cost about $15 million to conduct an audit. The process would take about 30 minutes to verify the gold content of each bar, or 350,000 man hours; to do that would would take 400 people working for six months, according to the document.

Really, you should save the money. If this guy become president, he may need it.

So, to take a look backward with some satisfaction:

  • 2000 – getting to dominate the world: check.
  • 2011 – finishing relocation of the Fort Knox gold: check
  • 2011 – upsetting Ron Paul’s digestion: check
  • 2020 – so far confidential, but we’ll get there, no doubt.

But, on the bonus side – you could still get this guy for POTUS, you know:

Brr…

Cross-posted on SimplyJews

Posted in Politics | 4 Comments

Thursday, briefly

And the Keen Grasp of the Obvious Award goes to: Jordan’s king, for saying that he thinks Mideast peace is not likely this year. In other news, water is wet.

Idiots for Israel: A bunch of EU dudes and FMs nobody ever heard of told Israel that there can be no peace without including Hamas in the talks. I say include Hamas, absolutely. Request that Ismail Haniyeh Khaled Mashaal personally lead the delegation. Then arrest them (actually, I’d rather see a drone strike hit the caravan, but that’s just me). Other than that, no, Hamas won’t make peace. Read the charter, asshats. The one that calls for the deaths of ALL Jews.

The Arab love for their Palestinian brethren: The Mufti of Lebanon told the Palestinians that they’re trash, and not welcome in Lebanon. Nice. Why? Because they’re “stealing” Muslim lands. Wait, what? Aren’t Palestinians Muslims too? But hey, just listen to them all use the lie that they’re fighting Israel as part of the “resistance” movement to help their Palestinian brothers and sisters. Yeah, we’ll remember this story next time we hear that.

Spin, spin, spin said the Obamanoids: Jennifer Rubin on the desperate spin mission the White House is on since Eli Lake broke the story that Obama is pressuring Netanyahu to fold Israel to his “1967 lines with mutually agreed land swaps” b.s. The best part of Jen’s post: The fact that the Obamanoids have yet to address the facts in Lake’s story and Jen’s posts. Of course they can’t, because the administration is, once again, dead wrong on Israel.

Posted in Hamas, Israel, Lebanon, palestinian politics | 3 Comments

Wednesday news briefs

Cheer up, things can still get worse: Barry Rubin, whose writing is really depressing because the Middle East events he covers are really depressing, says things are getting worse. Which means that there is a new low to which they can sink. Oy.

The people of Syria: Not as dumb as their leaders would have you believe. Funny, the people of Syria aren’t burning Israeli flags. They’re burning Iranian and Hezbollah flags. In Damascus. Remember that next time you see some asshat holding up the Hezbollah flag at an anti-Israel rally (or an Israel or Jewish event that they bring the flag of a terrorist organization to so they can prove—uh, that they’re asshats). You know why the Iranians are desperately trying to stop this revolution, don’t you? It’s not just Syria at stake. Iranians would take heart if the Iranian vassal state threw off its bonds. That’s why it’s so horrible that the Obama administration is doing nothing there, while bombing the crap out of Libya. Given my druthers…

The Gaza Flotilla is off? I’m very confused about this news report. The IHH says it may not take part in the second Gaza flotilla? It’s got to be sheer propaganda. After thinking it over, they’ll decided that they have to go, because the “humanitarian” situation in Gaza is awful. Just awful. New shopping malls, refusing to bring in cars from Israel because they have enough from the smuggling tunnels, weapons dripping out of Hamassholes—oh. That’s why they need to continue. I forgot. Weapons are not yet dripping out of Hamassholes.

That’s funny, I thought Pakistan and the U.S. are allies in the war on terror: Pakistan arrested five people who supposedly helped the CIA find Osama bin Laden. You would think they’d be happy that they helped us find the number one terror target in the world. That’s what allies do for each other, celebrate their victories. Unless, of course, your armed forces and intelligence services are honeycombed with Taliban and al Qaeda agents and sympathizers. Awesome. Let’s keep on giving them money. It all goes towards helping al Qaeda fight our men and women, right?

Posted in Gaza, Israel, Middle East, Syria, Terrorism | 1 Comment