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The diary of
Iseema bin Laden

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Oh, oh, oh!

I'm thinking I should just do the dates like this: 1/4/02. Those 0s are really confusing me. I'm suddenly forgetting which one stands for the day, which is the month, and oh, yeah, the last one's the year, right? Of course, if you do it the European way, it's backwards. Plus you can use dots. 4.1.02 is a correct European date. I think.

Does anyone out there know what "instant" means in this context? "The 15th instant". I first read that in The Swiss Family Robinson, and it was never satisfactorily explained to me. Well, they didn't explain it in the book at all, and I have yet to come across anyone who uses "instants" in notes.

Did I mention that I took the GREs recently? Well, when you get your scores back, they now give you a percent of people you scored higher than. What it means, I think, is "People who are dumber than you," but that's too non-PC to say.

In the verbal section, I scored higher than 91% of the people who take GREs. Notice that isn't 91% of the population: It's 91% of the people who took GREs. It's tempting to say I have a better vocabulary than 91% of the people in the country, if not the world, but then, I'd be lying, wouldn't I?

In the analytical section, which has that logic that I loathe, I scored better than XX% of the people who take GREs. Isn't that something?

Oh, look. There's some kind of programming error that's putting Xs instead of numbers in the above paragraph. Darn. I'll have to fix that someday.--MAY



That and this

I saw Kate and Leopold over the weekend, and the question has been raised: Would you give up flush toilets and hot showers for Hugh Jackman?

After thinking it over for a few days, I've come to the conclusion that I won't give up flush toilets and hot water for any man. I like my conveniences too much.

Gail sent me this via email, and I'm putting a link to a copy of it at It's a first-person account of the attack on the World Trade Center by Adam Mayblum, a trader who was on the 87th floor of the North Tower. And I think it's worth noting that Mr. Mayblum is Jewish. Huh. I thought the Mossad got all the Jews to take the day off work. Guess maybe that rumor was a bunch of crap, hm? Yes, it was.

Right out of the gate, I'm getting funny search requests. Two already for "John Edward fraud." Good for you, searchers! Tawny Kitaen? Did I really mention her in my site? (Actually, she was a lot of fun on Santa Barbara, where I believe she played the "hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold", but I'm not certain.) The one that's really puzzling to me is "pakistani fashion magazines". My site came up for that? Geez. And if anyone can explain to me "index down-down", please do. I'm at a loss.--MAY



This and that

Groundhog's Day is going to have a neat date this year. 02/02/02.

I still hab a code id by head, so I put off going back to work by one more day. I am not going to like hearing the alarm tomorrow morning.

I'm planning on writing an opt-in cookie scheme for regular users who want to know what was the last day they were here, so they can catch up on blogs if they like. I know this would be much easier if I'd use some kind of blogging tool, but I prefer my complete independence to make this site whatever I please and not have to use predefined themes and schemes.

I've got the number one spot on Google for both my full name and my last name. Can't get it for my first name unless a certain actress disappears from history. Which l wouldn't like, as I love her films. Besides, she's the one that finally got people to spell my name right. Prior to her it was "Merrill" or "Merle". Bah. My own cousin misspelled my name on a Bar-Mitzvah invitation last year. I declined to go. The way I see it, if I never hear from you except at funerals and weddings, and you can't even have the decency to spell my name right, your son can get bar-mitzvahed quite well without my presence. This year, I got a birth announcement from that same cousin, addressed to "M. Yourish". The child will not be receiving a gift from M. In point of fact, I'm still waiting for some kind of sympathy card or call from that cousin about the death of my father (from 1999). I'm beginning to think I won't be getting one.

Around 1 a.m. on New Year's Eve, I was strongly considering leaving a message on a friend's answering machine, as she did the same to me last year. Except last year her message was how much she missed me and loved me (I was in Virginia for New Year's last year), and a few months later, that same friend left another message in response to mine asking her if she'd be available that weekend. Her message was that she wouldn't be available--to me--that weekend or any other, and she hoped my life got better. I never really did get an explanation as to why she was so mad at me, so I just kinda shrugged and didn't call her back. I figured she definitely wasn't going to take care of my cats that weekend. I found someone else. But hey, she got her wish: My life got better.

I decided against calling her, after all.--MAY



Happy New Year!

Yes, I did what I said I'd do. I welcomed 2002 from a hot tub. It was marvelous. I wish I was in one right now, as I'm starting to get a crick in my neck.

Congratulations to the folks working security in all walks of life for preventing anything from going boom! yesterday. I'm quite pleased. Our Buddy Bin is not, I'm sure. Life's a bitch.

And today, I hab a code id by head, so I believe I'll head off to bed early tonight. I did some site maintenance, and will be archiving blogs starting with today's into a 2002 directory, which is rather neat when you think about it. I'm of the school that pronounces the years "ought-one", "ought-two", which is how they used to say it a hundred years ago. Dave Winer thinks it's two-two, I think that's too-too, which is another archaic expression, but English majors tend to remember archaic expressions. They test us on them. Then they swear us to secrecy and make us learn a whole bunch that you've never heard of just so we can torment you and your descendants through the generations when you take the SATs. Old words may go out of style, but they'll never go out of our dictionaries. Muahahahahaha....

Hm. The cold medicine may be working a bit too well.--MAY

You decide

I get a user from Manitoba, and the Arctic cold stretches down from Canada. Coincidence? I think not.