Wednesday briefs

More Mel Gibson schadenfreude: “The Beaver” didn’t even make the top 20. “African Cats,” a Disney documentary about lions and cheetahs that’s been out since April 22nd, beat it. “Hoodwinked Too,” the animated sequel to a Little Red Riding Hood retelling that was never popular to begin with, that got 11% on Rotten Tomatoes, beat it. Mel’s mojo is gone. And good riddance to it.

Then we should sin again, and again, and again: Al Qaeda’s really pissy that we killed OBL. They’re saying it’s a sin. Mind you, I’m no religious authority, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t even break one of the Ten Commandments, since the one in question says “You shall not murder,” not kill. That’s a misinterpretation of the original Hebrew. We’re allowed to take out the bad guys.

Well, that’s one way the sham unity agreement will unravel: Western nations are pressuring Mahmoud Abbas not to fire Salam Fayyad, the prime minister who’s cutting off Hamas and Fatah’s graft (or at least some of it), which is why they hate him so much. I think that Abbas will cave to Hamas. The Euros won’t try to kill him, and they won’t cut off funding. Even America may not cut off funding, as this imperial president is using Executive Orders to override Congress and the Constitution.

Making our planes safe from eight-month-olds: Way to go, TSA! That baby won’t ever threaten a U.S. airplane. And when a jihadi does attack a cockpit, our media won’t mention that he yelled “Allahu Akbar” while doing so. On the other hand, no way that baby would have been able to crawl up to the cockpit door and yell “gagahu gagabar,” so our TSA has done its job. Woot!

That’s funny, I thought they were supposed to be anti-Zionists: Al Qaeda is declaring war against Jews, which means that the synagogues in Morocco and Tunisia are at risk again. And somehow, the anti-Zionist crowd will make this all about Israel.

The Hamas way sounds an awful lot like the Chicago Way: Khaled Mashaal says he’s giving Israel a year to capitulate agree to a Palestinian state on 1967 borders (replete with full “right of return” of Palestinian refugees). I’m not seeing an upside for Israel here, so I vote for don’t bother recognizing the unilateral declaration of the phony nation of “Palestine.”

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4 Responses to Wednesday briefs

  1. Sabba Hillel says:

    It is ironic that they attempt to complain about the execution of a murderer by using the commandment that the murderer violated. It is like the person who kills his parents and then pleads for mercy on the grounds that he is an orphan.

    Of course, technically, OBL is not an actual murderer because he just ordered the murders done and did not do them with his own hands. As a result, he is only subject to the death penalty as a “mored bemalchus” (attempt to overthrow the king). In that case, the “king” is allowed to order his death as an extrajudicial power. This is similar to what King David ordered King Solomon to do to Yoav and Shim’i Ben Geirah.

  2. Sabba Hillel says:

    Actually, the terrorists are murderous enough to put a bomb in the baby’s diaper. That way the terrorist does not even have to be on the plane. He just has to tell the mother that he is trying to smuggle drugs.

  3. Michael Lonie says:

    Well Sabba, I don’t know about Jewish law, but I think that as an accessory before the fact of the murder of 3000 people Osama is as responsible as if he flew one of the planes, and subject to the same penalties. In any case he was commander of a nongovernmental organization that had declared war on the US of A, despite not having standing to wage war under international law, making him and all his boyos unlawful combatants. As such a commander, he was a legit target for military action. As an unlawful combatant he was not owed a trial or the legal protections of the Geneva Conventions.

    If the jihadists want asymmetric warfare, we can get even more asymmetric on them than we have up to now.

  4. Rahel says:

    I just want to know when African Cats is coming to Israel….

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