Wednesday briefs

Uh-oh—Jew cooties will cost this man his job: An Iranian shook an Israeli’s hand at a trade fair. How long before he a) declares he never touched a Jew or b) resigns? (My money says as long as it takes for the Iranians to translate the Ynet article and give it to Mad Mahmoud.)

And the Church wonders why its relations with Jews suck: A Vatican guide to discussions for an upcoming conference blames Jews for Muslims driving Christians out of the Middle East. Of course it’s our fault. We also poisoned the wells in the Middle Ages, caused the Black Plague, and I’m pretty sure something we did caused the earthquake in Haiti. Also, I’m really, really, really sorry, Bostonians, but I think we’re also responsible for the Bill Buckner misplay in the 1986 World Series.

Sending in the clown: George Mitchell says that Lebanon and Syria are the keys to Middle East peace. Say, what do both of those countries have in common? (Hint: It starts with Ir and ends with anian sponsorship). Good to know Obama’s crack Middle East specialists are on the case. We can expect peace to break out anytime this millennia.

Perhaps you would like me to come in there and wash your **** for you? The Palestinians have a great new plan for negotiations with Israel. They want us to do it for them. You can stop laughing now. (A Yo-Prize to the first person who correctly names the movie the quote is from.)

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3 Responses to Wednesday briefs

  1. Jonathan says:

    If I was that Iranian tourism official, I’d be cashing in my return ticket to Tehran. He’ll be eating a lot of tapas & churros…or he’ll be learning what prison food tastes like in the Islamic Republic. Just sayin’…

  2. Sabba Hillel says:

    Memorable quotes for Arthur (1981) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082031/quotes

    Hobson: Perhaps you would like me to come in there and wash your

  3. You weren’t supposed to use IMDB. You were supposed to use your memory.

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