Vote me off the island

Have you heard that Groucho Marx quote? The one that goes: “I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member”?

Well, it comes to mind immediately upon reading this:

NEW YORK (Reuters) – If you’ve ever dreamed of living the simple life on a tropical island, a new online eco-tourism venture could turn that fantasy into reality for just a few hundred dollars.

Tribewanted.com — a new spin on the concept of timeshare vacations — is the brainchild of two British entrepreneurs who are seeking 5,000 people to join an online community to oversee the sustainable development of a 200-acre (81-hectare) Pacific island.

For a fee ranging from $220 to $660, members can join the “tribe” for one to three years and buy the right to visit the island of Vorovoro in Fiji for between one and three weeks.

The three-year project will be filmed for a documentary and weekly videos will be available online, but organizers say a key principle is: “This is not reality TV — it’s real life.”

“Unlike reality television, this isn’t about the game,” co-founder Ben Keene said Tuesday. “There is no winner, there’s no voting people off.”

Yeah, there is. I’ve already voted myself off. Oh. My. God. Can you imagine the kind of nutjobs this place is going to draw?

“It may not sound like a lot, but we’re looking at a very simple sustainable village, not big concrete structures,” Keene said. “As much as this is an adventure for everyone involved, we’re also trying to raise awareness about ecological living.”

Tribe members will design the infrastructure of the island, from solar power systems to nonpolluting toilet facilities.

Experts will work with the local tribal chief, Tui Mali, to make key decisions along with the tribe members who will vote online for what they want.

“At any one time you’ve got the 4,900 people in the online community and 100 on the island,” Keene said.

Wow, it’s the ultimate voyeur vacation! I’m betting webcams will be watching the villagers’ every move. Oooh, how exciting. I can hardly wait!

Well, yeah, I can. I can’t think of anything more offensive than sharing my vacation spot with thousands of strangers who expect me to work instead of lie in the sun and swim all day.

Transportation to Fiji is not included in the membership fee.

When members visit, starting in September, they can choose to help build facilities, go fishing or just read a book on the beach. Carpenters and others with useful skills are encouraged to join, but Keene said anyone with a sense of adventure was welcome.

“We’re looking for people who have ideas for how they’d like to pass on their skills, whether they’re yoga instructors or sports teachers or maybe artists,” he said.

Uh-huh. They want you to pay money to spend your vacation building your vacation site. Or spend your vacation teaching other people. Oh, they say you can just lie around on the beach, but watch what happens the first time someone decides they’re tired of hammering and want a swim. Ursula LeGuin covered it quite nicely in The Dispossessed. Egoists! Egoists! Don’t be selfish, join the community!

Sounds very relaxing to me.

The last time I went to a tropical island, I spent one day climbing the rock falls, one day in town buying crappy wooden beads and cups, and the entire rest of the time lying on the beach or at the pool. Oh, wait. We spent an afternoon on a booze cruise. That was pretty hard work, trying not to drink too much to ruin the day.

I think I’ll pass on my tropical island vacation turning into a working vacation. Not my idea of fun at all.

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One Response to Vote me off the island

  1. Michael Lonie says:

    Hayek observed that the use of the adjective “social” deprived any noun it modified of meaning, as with “social justice”. I think the word sustainable has reached the same point.

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