Weekend briefs

Two! Two! Two haters in one! It’s what the world has been waiting for: A Nazi openly proclaiming he’s a Jihadi, or vice-versa. He’s totally batshit crazy, and he bit two FBI agents (check for rabies; he drew blood). Oh, and their suspicion that he was reaching for a weapon? He was. This boy ain’t getting out of jail anytime soon.

Speaking of batshit crazy Nazis: Have you all read the story of the Nazis who were driven to paroxysms of rage by a dog who could… raise his paw? It’s utterly hilarious that the Nazis went to such incredible lengths to investigate what they thought was an insult to Hitler—a dog giving a Nazi salute at Hitler’s name. Best comment was from my friend Sarah, who says, “Hey! My dogs can do that!”

Nice try, but guns on the ground are the only way: George Clooney and MTV are going to mobilize the youth of the world to try to stop the impending violence at the Sudanese vote on whether to separate the north from the south. I’m glad kids want to help. I don’t think this will. Here’s what they think will stop the Janjaweed:

In order to generate rapid responses to human rights concerns, the Satellite Sentinel Project combines satellite imagery analysis, field reports and crowd-sourced map data from Google Map Maker to prevent violence, and focuses world attention on Sudan. The project uses commercial satellites passing over the border of northern and southern Sudan to capture possible threats to civilians, observe the movement of displaced people, detect bombed and razed villages, or note other evidence of pending mass violence. To become part of the open-source, early warning system for Sudan, young people can follow the Satellite Sentinel Project on Twitter @SudanSentinel. By doing this, they’ll get the latest updates and action alerts, and be ready to help put pressure on public officials to respond, if necessary.

Nope. But the U.S. Marines, well, they could stop the murderers. Too bad we don’t have boots on the ground there.

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