Below is the transcript for my current Shire Network News segment. I don’t think it will be my last thought on this issue.

This is Meryl Yourish, and this is On Second Thought, for Shire Network News.

This segment is dedicated to all you tough guys out there. I’ve been reading your comments and blog posts and letters about how if you’d been at Virginia Tech, you’d have taken out the shooter. You wouldn’t have cowered down and waited to be murdered. Nuh-uh. You’d have leaped up and, wading through a hail of hollow-point bullets fired at point-blank range, disarmed the madman, saving all your fellow students and becoming the hero of millions.

NBC’s Today show even found an expert to tell America that we have to teach our students to be tougher during attacks by crazed, insane gunmen. He said we need to teach them not to cower down behind their desks and wait to be killed. What a tough guy, huh? If only he’d been there, I’ll bet he’d have managed to stop Cho.

All you tough guys, I salute you. I think you’re right.

You know, if only I’d been there, things would have been different, too. Using my powers of 20-20 hindsight as foresight, and adding a plus-ten shield of invulnerability, I’d have lain in wait for Cho Seung-Hui, and grabbed his guns and then knocked him out and waited for the cops to show. It would have been just like it is in the movies. One punch to the jaw, and down goes the bad guy.

But why stop there? If only I’d been at the Texas School Book Depository in 1963, I could have stopped Lee Harvey Oswald from assassinating President Kennedy. Just think how different the world would have been: At the very least, we probably never would have had Jimmy Carter as president.

Wait, I have an even better idea! If I’d been around in Sarajevo in 1914, I would have used my amazing hindsight powers and the ability to predict the future, and stopped the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, thereby also preventing World War I. By preventing World War I, I’d have prevented World War II, and all of the horrors caused by the Nazis. I’d have saved tens of millions of people. No, hundreds of millions, counting their descendants.

Wow. That’s pretty amazing. If only, huh?

However, back in the reality-based community, it turns out that there wasn’t much at all those poor children could do. In an interview I saw, one of the victims said that Cho came in and “bang bang bang bang bang,” he just shot everyone in the class. He went on to describe that it all happened quickly—Cho walked in the room, shot up the class, and left. Then he came back later and shot the students as they lay on the floor, making sure they were dead.

The killer used hollow-point bullets. He used them because he didn’t intend to leave anyone alive. And he went back to the rooms where he’d been, firing more bullets into the bodies of the students he’d already shot. Perhaps one of the tough guys out there could explain to me how he would have handled the pain of a wound caused by a hollow-point bullet as he then fought to wrestle Cho to the ground, or take away his guns. Or perhaps one of the tough guys—maybe even the so-called expert that the Today Show brought in—could tell me how you prepare a course in self-defense from crazed killers who may or may not be lying in wait for you on a Monday morning at a pastoral Virginia college campus.

Instead of all that nonsense, let’s focus on a real hero of the Virginia Tech shooting: Professor Livui Librescu, a 77-year-old Holocaust survivor who spent his last breath blocking the door, trying to stop Cho from coming into his classroom. Librescu’s efforts saved the lives of most of his students, at the cost of his own. He was buried in Israel on Friday. His oldest son’s words could stand as Librescu’s eulogy:

“I walked through the streets today with my head held high because I have such a father.”

He wasn’t a tough guy. He was just a hero.

SNN is up, and I have a contribution this week. It’s on the tough guys who talk about what they would have done if they’d been in Norris Hall last Monday at Virginia Tech.

In other blogs, Mac Thomason has a new place, and as always, I’m sending people his way. We’ve been blog-buddies for years, and my favorite thing to do is send him the odd news articles that he likes so much and see how funny his references get. This one’s a great example. I am torn between feeling sorry for that child, and laughing at the excerpt Mac found. Hm. Wonder if that kid is eligible for a Darwin Award?

Jim Treacher and I are often guilty of thinking alike. Here’s what he has to say about the Tough Guys blaming the Tech victims for not being courageous enough, or something. (Scroll down to see Treacher’s comments on the Steyn column which is, quite frankly, full. of. crap.)

I may put up the transcript of my podcast later in the week, but for now, if you want to hear my thoughts, go listen.

Update: Ignore that last paragraph. Things I read pissed me off too much, and the transcript goes up tonight.

Sorry, just not up for any more serious stuff today. So I’ll put up cat pictures instead.

Gracie was extremely annoying this morning, demanding a ton of attention. I finally realized why she was standing near the sofa and yowling. She’d knocked her tissue paper nest off the sofa, and wanted it back. So I put it back, and she immediately leaped into it and rolled around, purring. Her rolling is enabling me to see that she’s finally letting her stomach fur grow back. Instead of just a big bare pink patch and long fur along the scar line, there’s longer fur all along the bottom third of her belly. I’m beginning to suspect that she needs some kind of kitty version of skin cream for the winter months, because she has completely stopped licking herself bare in spots. Either that, or her neuroses are gone, at least until she gets new ones. This is, remember, the cat of a thousand routines. Her latest one is yowling upstairs until I walk up to the second-floor food dish (it’s been there since she came home from the vet’s and stays there because she needs to eat frequently or the IBD causes her to vomit) and watch her eat. Yes, watch her eat. She purrs loudly and deep in her throat as she chews happily away. She doesn’t even care if I pet her or not. My presence is what is required. And by “required,” I mean “required.” She simply will not stop yowling until I observe her taking a bite or two. Then she stops. It’s become a regular nighttime routine. I don’t mind so much. I actually encourage her to eat before going to bed. It’s just that in the middle of the workday, it’s a pain. Then again, it’s a five-minute break from work, so I guess it all evens out.

Tig, meantime, has happily rediscovered the kitty condo, as I mentioned last week. He barely sleeps in my bed at all these days. And since he’s been back on the condo, I remembered something that I had forgotten: He’s grabby. If I walk by while he’s awake, he puts his paw out to get my attention. It’s his way of saying “Pet me.” The thing is, he never lets me clip his claws, and I don’t even ask the vet to do it any more, because he hates—with an angry passion—having his paws touched. The last time I tried it, the vet wrapped him, had an assistant and me helping him, and Tig got out of the wrap and managed to nail the assistant and me. So his claws stay untrimmed, and when he grabs me, well, let’s just say he gets my attention. And other things.

Of course in this picture, Tig is deeply asleep, in one of his super-cute poses, with his paw over his eyes. No grabbing involved. All together now: Awwwwww.

Heroes is back tonight.

Anyone trying to contact me between the hours of 9 and 10 p.m. will be unable to get my attention.

I will not be answering the phone. The computer will be shut down. All knocks at my door will go unanswered.

My friends have already been alerted.

Obsessed? Me?

Well, yeah.

I have an appointment with an allergist on Thursday to determine exactly which parts of Virginia I am allergic to. One result of the appointment is that I may not take any allergy medicine or antihistamines or pseudofed, starting today. No Zyrtec, which is what I take. All of my OTC antihistamines have pseudofed in them. So this morning, I called and asked, “What CAN I take?”

Turns out I can take Nasonex. Turns out I have two sample bottles from my doctor that I never used, what with not really wanting to squirt things up my nose every day. (Go figure.) Of course, when the choice is squirt medicine up my nose, or suffer from allergies during the prime allergy season of the year, well, I squirted. But there’s a strange side effect.

I have found myself starting to speak like Antonio Banderas.

That side effect isn’t listed anywhere on the warning label.

So do you remember that red-on-red fighting in the terrortories that killed dozens and wounded hundreds? Or was it killed hundreds and wounded thousands? I forget.

Remember how hard it was to find the kind of media blitz that you get when palestinians are killed by Israelis?

Wonder no more. Because Israeli troops got into gunbattles with terrorists over the weekend and killed some of them. The world, led by the wire services, is (as usual) freaking out.

GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip — Hamas militants today called for a fresh wave of attacks against Israel after troops killed nine Palestinians in weekend fighting, straining a five-month-old cease-fire.

In response to the bloodshed, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas’ more moderate Fatah movement urged him to consider breaking off contacts with the Israeli government, despite his pledge to the United States to hold regular meetings with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert. Hamas and Fatah are partners in a coalition government.

Among the nine Palestinians killed in the weekend upsurge of violence were two gunmen and a 17-year-old who died today in the West Bank. The fighting also included a Palestinian rocket attack on the southern Israeli town of Sderot that damaged a home.

It’s all there. Maximizing the harm done to the Palestinians (including the terrorists as victims, using the active voice “IDF Kills 8″ were the headlines earlier), minimizing the rocket attacks on Sderot, which have been occurring since the “cease-fire” was begun, identifying Palestinian teenagers’ age when they get killed, but never doing the same for Israeli victims.

Troops killed the Palestinian teenager today in a village near Ramallah. Palestinian officials said he was throwing stones at an Israeli patrol when he was shot. The army said soldiers opened fire as the youth was about to throw a firebomb at a military jeep.

Earlier, an army task force raided the militant stronghold of Nablus, killing two Palestinian gunmen, including Amin Lubadi, a top bombmaker who had been wanted by Israel for more than three years. The army said an Israeli soldier was lightly wounded in the battle.

After weeks of relative quiet, the latest surge in violence began on Saturday, when five people were killed during Israeli arrest raids in the northern West Bank.

During those weeks of “relative quiet,” Israelis have been shot, stabbed, had rockets fired into their towns, and several suicide bombings were thwarted. But it was “relatively” “quiet.” Right.

In the Gaza Strip on Saturday, Palestinians fired a rocket at the Israeli town of Sderot, hitting a house but causing no injuries. The army subsequently attacked a car it said was carrying the attackers, killing a 37-year-old man. Palestinian officials said he was a civilian.

The Gaza truce has largely held, though militants have frequently fired rockets into Israel and have attacked Israeli patrols along the border fence. Olmert’s government has warned it will not tolerate continued rocket fire.

So, a truce that “holds” is a truce where one can attempt murder with impunity? No, a truce that “holds” is only a truce that holds during violence from the Palestinian side. When the Israeli side fights back, it “threatens the truce.”

Just for a comparison, let’s take a look at what the AP does when the Palestinians murder their own. (Or just click through to the whole post from gee, March.)

Hamas Commander Dies in Gaza Shootout
A Hamas military commander was killed Tuesday in a shootout with Fatah gunmen shortly before the leaders of the two groups met to try to bridge their differences over a power-sharing deal.

At least seven people were wounded in the gun battle in Gaza City.

Now look at another AP article:

Israeli Troops Kill 8 Palestinians
Israeli troops killed eight Palestinians, including a 17-year-old girl, in a two-day surge of fighting across the West Bank and Gaza Strip, Palestinian officials said Sunday.

The dead also included three militants traveling together in a car in the northern West Bank, and a man in Gaza killed in an Israeli airstrike in response to a Palestinian rocket attack.

The Hamas commanded “dies” when he is killed by Fatah. But Palestinians are “killed” by the IDF. The Hamas commander “was killed”—passive voice—but the Palestinians are “killed” by the IDF. Palestinian victims are always named, aged, and generally labeled as civilians by Palestinian spokesliars. The AP rarely bothers to name, age, or identify in any way Israeli victims of Palestinian attacks.

And the bias goes on. And on, and on, and on. And so will these posts.