Yourish.com

Cutting straight to the point

Lost Episode Summary: Girls’ Day Out

Posted on March 2nd, 2006 at 4:55 pm by Drew W.

Filed under: Humor, Parody, Television

Hi and howdy from guest blogger Drew Wheeler, here with the return of Meryl’s famous Lost episode summary.

Previously on Lost: A montage of images of the pregnant Claire from last season, specifically her kidnapping and return to the castaways’ camp. Also, scenes from the more recent capture of the suspected Other person in a jungle snare set by loopy French woman Rousseau. Sayid interrogates the inverted man:

Sayid: What’s your name?
Snared Guy: It’s Henry Gale. My wife and I found ourselves on this mysterious island when we lost control of our hot-air balloon.
Sayid: You’re lying. I know this because . . . I am a torturer. I also know this because everybody knows that Professor Marvel was the balloonist. You could never get Uncle Henry up in one of those newfangled things, especially in a twister-prone region like Kansas. How stupid do you think we are on this end of the island anyway?

(more…)

Reasons to hit programmers

Posted on March 2nd, 2006 at 11:02 am by Meryl Yourish.

Filed under: Work

Conversation in my office this morning:

“What’s ‘nillable’?”
“It means the variable can be null.”
“Then why doesn’t it say ‘nullable’?”
“Because a programmer wrote it.”

I’d forgotten that programmers are on my “Die for what you’ve done to the English language” list, right up there with business-speak creators. (”Bulletize”? “Bulletize”? Stop verbing my nouns!)

Yeah, I know. It’s a living language. But it’s ridiculous to use “nillable” to define a variable that can be null when, gee, I dunno, “nullable” would be so much plainer. More intuitive. “Nil” and “null” have two very different meanings.

/language rant.

Hilarious UN headline of the week

Posted on March 2nd, 2006 at 10:30 am by Meryl Yourish.

Filed under: Anti-Semitism

U.N. Launches Anti-Semitism Investigation

The investigation will consist of standing in front of mirrors to look for suspects.

EATAPETA Gatherings

Posted on March 2nd, 2006 at 9:49 am by Laurence Simon.

Filed under: EATAPETA

If you’re interesting in organizing an EATAPETA meetup in your city, feel free to use the the database site I’ve set up.

Why should you EATAPETA in a group setting?

  • Just in case you need the Heimlich Manuever.
  • Restaurants are great for people who are lousy cooks. Unless they work there, of course.
  • When you say “Pass the salt” you aren’t left in uncomfortable, soul-crippling silence.
  • Afterwards, you can go to the zoo and shout “YOU’RE NEXT!”
  • There’s safety in numbers in the chance that Mike Tyson wants to hunt you down and beat the crap out of you.
  • Wow! Look at all these free matchbooks!
  • Engage in pleasant dinner conversation, like in “My Dinner With Andre.”
  • Bad with math? Gratuities are often pre-calculated for large groups.

Five meetups have been set up so far: Houston, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Mesa, and Rockville.

Your town can’t become the sixth if you don’t roll up your sleeves and make it.

Israel’s ABMs: Shot down a Shahab-3 clone

Posted on March 2nd, 2006 at 9:30 am by Meryl Yourish.

Filed under: Israel

Israel’s ABM system is getting better and better, thank You-know-who. (Yes, after G-d, you can thank Jewish ingenuity.)

It’s subscription-only from Jane’s, so this is the most you can get for free.

Israel’s anti-ballistic missile Arrow Weapon System (AWS) successfully intercepted a target simulating an Iranian Shahab-3 medium-range ballistic missile (MRBM) in a test over the Mediterranean on 2 December.

The interception was conducted at a record low altitude, considered below the AWS’s performance envelope, and determined the operability of the Arrow II Block 3 interceptor, manufactured jointly by Israel Aircraft Industries (IAI) and Boeing Integrated Defense Systems.

“We have never before tried the Arrow against the Shahab characteristics, but we know now that we are capable of intercepting all existing ballistic missile threats in the region, whether conventional or non-conventional, and we are developing capabilities to deal with future threats,” Director of the Israel Missile Defence Organisation Arieh Herzog told JDW.

Following the interception, IAF’s MIM-104 Patriot low- to high-altitude air-defence batteries joined the test, simulating an additional interception at lower altitude. Israel’s ballistic missile defence concept is based on a two-tier layered defence in which the AWS constitutes the higher layer and the Patriot an additional, lower layer.

That’s one of the great things about being Jewish: Problem-solving. Iran has ICBMs? Invent a system that will shoot them down.

Hamas lies, world buys

Posted on March 2nd, 2006 at 8:57 am by Meryl Yourish.

Filed under: Hamas, Media Bias

Watch the world spin this as a “positive” step.

MOSCOW (AP) - The Palestinian ambassador to Russia said Thursday that Hamas might reconsider its stance toward Israel in order to advance the interests of the Palestinian people, a Russian news agency reported.

Hamas “ties the question of recognizing Israel as a state with the necessity to end the occupation of the Palestinian territories,” Ambassador Bakir Abdel Munem was quoted as saying in an interview with ITAR-Tass news agency. “At the same time, I think that Hamas may revise its stance in the interests of the entire Palestinian people.”

Number of stories referencing this lie on Google’s news aggregator right now: 168. Watch the numbers grow.

Looks like that $180,000 PR makeover is still paying dividends.

David Irving - like Galileo?

Posted on March 2nd, 2006 at 8:06 am by SnoopyTheGoon.

Filed under: Anti-Semitism

Asked such a question out of the blue, you would, probably, wonder what are the criteria for such a comparison. Scientific genius - after all, only one of the two is a scientist. Weight? Height? Nationality? Language? Hairdo?

Oops, forgot to warn my faithful readers:

Moonbat alert!

The subject of this post is rated MD Red (Mental Danger - highest level).

So, who is that person that wants to compare these two men who, on the whole, do not have anything in common? None other than a Rev Ted Pike on his site National Prayer Network.

And what is the common feature that unites the two, according to the Rev. Pike? These two magnificent specimen of human wisdom suffered in the hands of “Thought Crimes Inquisition”, it appears.

Amazing, ain’t it? Just to remind you - Galileo was fighting for his scientific beliefs and risked getting his arse fried by the Church (that happened to be Catholic in his case). He was forced by Inquisition to renounce his views on the universe and his books were not published from this point.

(more…)