Girl talk

Thought this one up the other day:

Menopause means never having to say, “Is it cold in here?”

(Actually, it’s perimenopause. I have to have no cyle for 12 months to be in full-blown menopause. And may I say: Not. Happy. Not. At. All.)

Actually, I’ve been calling it “F*CKING menopause” for months now. With extra special contempt on the adjective.

Gentlemen, if you don’t want to hear about things like this, then don’t read posts titled “Girl Talk.”

Have I mentioned lately that one of the things I’m experiencing is HulkMS? Where I get sudden rages so severe that I’m pretty sure I’m going to kill someone someday? (But I think s/he’ll deserve it. Like the self-checkout counter in the market that wouldn’t give me my credits for using my own bags. That thing would totally have deserved it if I’d destroyed it.)

Yeah, menopause is a hoot. The first man out there to EVER talk to me about “male menopause” again will lose an eye. Or at least a kneecap.

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6 Responses to Girl talk

  1. Sarah G. says:

    I’m soooo looking forward to this.

  2. Elisson says:

    Given that the Missus has been through the process, I can offer you my sincere sympathy. I know it’s no fun at all.

    Nevertheless, it’s one of those Life-Milestones… meaning that, if you’ve made it this far, it means you’re not dead. And for that, we are are all most grateful.

  3. annoyinglittletwerp says:

    I’ll be 40 in October…and I started having hot flashes etc 4 1/2 years ago. My son’s 16 so it’s not like I want any more kids or anything. It would however be nice if this ‘show’ finally got on the road. None of the menopause sites are geared to us barely 40’s.

  4. A.C. Gray says:

    Knee cap them, not as messy and you can use the all-purpose Louisville Slugger. You have my sympathies I went through surgical menopause years ago and all I can say is I am glad it is over. I now only try to murderate the Darwin Awarders that cross my path(don’t want them to take out me or my loved ones as collatoral damage). It used to be everyone/thing was in danger except for my cats.

  5. Pamela says:

    All I can say is “IT SUCKS ROCKS BIG TIME”

    Haven’t wanted to throttle anyone of late and the insomnia only hits sometimes in the summer…
    Life is manageable courtesy of the patch.
    I think if all peri-menopausal and menopausal women were turned loose to clean up the mess in gaza and elsewhere, it would be over with right fast and those yoyos shouting “death to …” would think becoming pillars of salt was a better idea than messing with us.

    But it still sucks rocks.

  6. Stretch says:

    Let’s hear it for the “Y” chromosome.

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