Sunday Snark News Briefs

The Protocols of the Mullahs of Islam: Iran is buying UN votes against Israel. So I guess Walt & Mearsheimer will write a sequal called The Muslim Lobby, right? The Protocols of the Elders of Islam? No? What? Iran’s expanding influence in South America doesn’t count?

It’s the baby milk factory excuse: Oh, Iran needs enriched uranium for hospitals. So that must be why they keep on putting new nuke plants inside mountains, to make sure that the purity levels get to the right percentage. At least, that’s their story and they’re sticking to it. I just love the way Reuters and the AP are eating this bullshit up with a spoon and passing it along.

Translating Hamas’ rocket deal: You have to read between the lines in Hamas’ announcement that they’ve stopped “militant groups” from firing rockets into Israel. Here’s what they’re really saying: We’ll only fire rockets at you if you kill our terrorists in Gaza who are trying to kill you from inside Gaza. But it’s probably moot. Elder says the terrorists are denying an agreement was made. And oops, the IAF hit Gaza after the so-called agreement was announced. Strike three.

Mubarak’s sense of humor: The Egyptian president is a stand-up comic, and he doesn’t even know it. He says “Israel will anger all Muslims if it does not resolve Jerusalem’s disputed status.” And this differs from Israel angering all Muslims for merely existing, how?

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