I got to Heidi’s about 1:15, and finally settled in with the DVD about, oh, half an hour after I arrived, I figure. The dogs were rather happy to see me, and to get them out of my way, I gave them a handful of dog food each. I knew they’d been fed before Heidi left for the airport.
I was trying to figure out why I didn’t finish with the movies until about 11, even counting for dinner break and chatting with Rebecca for a few minutes (she’s the girl who was hired to feed the dogs). Actually, the chat with Rebecca took a while longer because halfway through, Tink decided that her brother Michael was dangerous and started growling at him. So we sent him outside, then Tink started growling at Becca. I am rather concerned, because I was caring for a neighbor’s dog in November and she was frightened of me and, well, she bit me. I told Rebecca about it and ultimately left a note on the door telling her to call me if Tink gives her any trouble tomorrow morning. That’s one hell of a big dog if she decides to bite. Worse comes to worst, I can get over there at least once a day to supervise dog-feeding duties.
Oh. So the reason why it took so long? Because The Two Towers extended edition is 223 minutes, and The Return of the King extended edition is a whopping 251 minutes, which is the longest I have ever sat still for a movie. And there are still too many endings to it. I know that’s how the book ends, mostly, but really—too many endings. I was picturing an SNL skit with words on the screen saying, “No, really, this is the ending. We mean it this time.”
You know there are too many endings to a film when the first time you see it is with four hundred other Tolkien geeks on Trilogy Tuesday, and there are still people groaning over how many endings there were.
Holy crap. More than four hours long. No wonder I didn’t finish until 11. I had, let’s see, 474, divide by 60, round up, geez—6 minutes shy of 8 hours of movie. Plus the songs in the credits make you want to listen to them, except for Bjork. I can’t stand her, and don’t understand how anyone thinks she has any kind of talent. Ugh. Well, except for wearing the ostrich suit at that awards show. That was funny.
And yes, I did have Chinese food for dinner, and chatted with the people there, who all knew the tradition. I didn’t ask what the two non-Jews were doing ordering Chinese food on Christmas night. None of my business.
Driving home, I caught all green lights, and managed to have only two drunk drivers to interact with, but, uh, both at the same time, and both on a highway. I passed them as fast as I could. I figured if the police pulled me over for speeding, I’d have a fairly good explanation. Christmas spirits, so to speak. However, I wasn’t in the mood to be made into one, and so, avoided them.
And now, to bed. Oh, wait. Tig’s outside. Okay, grab Tig, and then to bed.
Well, I did once see a triple feature of “Seven Samurai,” “The Loyal Forty-Seven Ronin,” and “Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo,” a total of nearly eight hours. And I did it in a theater, not in the comfort of someone’s living room.