Guaranteed loser lines

I’m sorry, but if I were sitting in a bar, and a man came up to me and uttered any of the following lines, I’d burst into laughter:

“Was your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.”

“Didn’t it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

“You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”

“The only things your eyes haven’t told me is your name.”

Lame, lame, lame, lame. These are considered four of the top ten on some jackass’ list.

In six languages.

Ladies, your Romeos—sans Shakespeare’s help—await.

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7 Responses to Guaranteed loser lines

  1. Russ says:

    But would you be willing to talk to him after laughing? That’s the point of a pickup line, I think (I’m no expert, I never used one)

  2. Anonymous says:

    Ya, know, Meryl, this could be the start of another one of them games of yours.

    You know – ‘Snappy responses to (insert pickup line)’.

    Those lines are so bad they are hilarious.

  3. chsw says:

    How would you respond to a guy who came up to you and said “Hi. My name is Joe. What’s your name?”

    chsw

  4. Ozzie says:

    It is all in the delivery. Yawp!

  5. Alex Bensky says:

    Why, just last week I saw a woman smoking marijuana and I said to the weed: “Say, what’s a joint like you doing in a nice girl like this?”

    But generally I stick to my standards: “My rotisserie league draft is coming up and I sure could use your advice about middle infielders,” “Would you like to come over to my place and see my etchings?” and “We could turn the sound off on a video of ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’ and I could dothe dialogue for you.”

  6. Lizzie says:

    Alex, wouldn’t The Life of Brian be better for that purpose (there’s full-frontal nudity in it, after all)?

  7. chsw, probably not well. I’ve never gone home with anyone I met in a bar. Come to think of it, I’ve never so much as dated anyone I met in a bar. I was never into that scene.

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