To the visitors who arrived here due to “The Internet is a Series of Tubes” PowerPoint presentation:
I would like to sincerely apologize for shaking your worldview. I understand that it’s incredibly difficult to accept that someone with an opposing political viewpoint on certain issues might not only have a sense of humor, but might actually create something that you laugh at as well. I know that many of you like to believe that anyone who disagrees with you is an evil, vile, warmongering Rethuglican (sorry, I’m an independent, though I did vote for Bush in ’04) neocon (sorry, nope, I’m center-left) Zionist (okay, there you have me) cro-magnon (I think you want these guys), um, I think I ran out of adjectives. Give me a minute. No, really.
Oh! Anti-feminist (can’t help you there, I’m a feminist who loves pissing off conservative and liberal anti-feminists) religious nut (I’ll give you the religious part, but nut the rest—ahhahaha, get it? “nut the rest”? Get it?”), um, I lost my way again. Oh. Humorless.
Well, that one’s not a fit. You got here by laughing at my PowerPoint presentation of Senator Ted Stevens explaining the internet. (Series of tubes, remember?)
Anyway, well, folks, um—I voted for Gore in 2000, and dutifully chanted the “stolen election!” mantra, right up until the NY Times released its count of the votes that said that Gore still lost. But I guess that was all blown to hell by my voting for Bush last time. And I’d vote for Lieberman if I lived in Connecticut. So once again, I deeply apologize for messing with your worldviews. Next time I write something funny, I’ll make sure it doesn’t get linked on any liberal-left sites.
Lieberman and possibly Zell Miller are the only Democrats I could vote for right now. Not that I could vote for just any Republican, but the sad fact is that the entire rest of the Democratic party has declared war on US sovreignty. They actually believe that our government must surrender all authority to the UN, despite the fact that their response to 9-11 was to demand that the US not invade Afghanistan, and Kofi Anan’s more recent demand that we no longer tolerate free speech that mocks them.
The Dems proudly stand now as the “Peace In Our Time” party. Bush may be no Wisnton Churchill, but I’ll be damned if I’ll vote for the spiritual successors of Neville Chamberlain.