Somehow, I managed to miss this missive from someone who apparently found my previous International Eat an Animal for PETA (now renamed Eat A TASTY Animal for PETA) Day. Presented, for your edification, a typical letter from a PETA fanatic, Bob from New Zealand:
You are a f–king sicko!
I just read your International Eat an Animal for PETA Day How dare u offend PETA like that I don’t give a sh-t if they offended some Holocaust Survivors. The slaughters of billions of animals for human consumption far surpasses the people that died in the gas chambers. You are just a sick meat loving sicko one of the millions, who hasn’t evolved pass man’s barbaric caveman ways. Animals are not ours to eat and as a Vegan I shall protect there rights where they cannot. What makes u think humans have the right to butcher and eat animals as they choose they are intelligent and wonderful creatures and have the right to live full lives as we do. U are SCUM and maybe another million years your kind will have evolved past the Stone Age and will become Vegans and love and respect all Creatures not just yourselves.
Until Then I hope you choke on your steak you sick Bitch!!!
Chew on that.
As always, the educated, refined, and thoughtful response of the typical outraged vegan (although he did capitalize it, so maybe he really is from Vega) to International Eat A Tasty Animal for PETA Day.
EATAPETA folks. Do it for Bob.
Vegans definitely suffer from vitamin deficiency, it may explain this message.
I, however, feel that this specific vegan is stupid from birth. I feel that I will have to eat another bite of that juicy and succulent meat come March 15. And no veggies, thanks!
As long as lions, tigers, bears, eagles and owls have that right then so do humans. Why discriminate against them; just because they are not as furry or feathered as the other inhabitants of this planet?
Vegans are racists!
Waiter, please add the Buffalo wing appetizer to my order … in honor of Bob from New Zealand.
In honor of Kiwi Bob my lamb wll be ordered rare. By the way, that’s not mutton…an adult, grown-up sheep who has had a chance to experience life. I’m going to have a piece of something cute and loveable.
I wonder if Bob has pulled out all his teeth in protest except for the back ones like his ruminant methane-producing friends? And I’ll drink a toast to him and the Animal Liberation Front (who were brave enough to release research mice in Iowa and who are reputed to get funding from PETA.)
And, Waiter, please make the steak rare but don’t bring extra salad because I don’t want to offend the Earth Liberation Front folk.
Mayhaps we could stage a “tough man” competition for ESPN with the ALF on one side and ELF on the other…with Jimmy Carter as the referee?
:)
Bob, like many New Zealanders, has grown quite attached to sheep.
In sympathy with Bob, I’ll change my veal rib entree to lamb chops, please. Hold the mint jelly, season with OldBay(TM) instead.
chsw
“What makes u think humans have the right to butcher and eat animals?”
Geez. If we didn’t butcher them, we’d have to gnaw them right off the freaking bones. That’s why we pay that guy in the white apron. (Might be a union man, too, now that I think about it.)
Chaz, now THAT was funny. Made me laugh.
Meanwhile something for the Aussies…