The latest episode of Lost

Too tired to write the summary. You’ll have to wait a few days.

Update: Okay, I’m getting a boatload of Google searches. Here’s what I have so far. You’ll still have to wait for the rest of it, though.

[IN THE OCEAN]
Sawyer: Mike! Mike!
Michael: Walt! Walt!
Shark: Da dum. Da dum.
Michael: [Drowning]
Sawyer: Mike! Mike! [performs CPR, which is an amazing talent for a lowlife and scam artist to have]
Michael: [coughs, spits up water] Dude, you need a mint
Sawyer: Yeah, look who’s talking.
Michael: Walt! Walt!
Sawyer: He can’t hear you.
Michael: Yeah, but I think the shark can.
Shark: Da dum. Da dum.
[Note to audience: Most of the rest of the Michael/Sawyer scenes will be contained in the next few sentences. Deal with it.]
Michael: This is all your fault!
Sawyer: No, it’s your fault!
Both: This raft isn’t big enough for the two of us!
Michael: Get the hell off my raft!
Shark: Hello, guys, getting hungry down here? Da dum. Da dum.
Both: SHUT. UP. We’re both on long-term contracts, moron.
Shark [sadly]: Da dum? Da dum?
Sawyer: Jin!
Shark: Fresh meat?
Sawyer: Contract, moron.
Shark: Sigh.

[IN THE HATCH]
Locke: Kate? Kate?
Shark: Da dum. Da dum.
Locke: Dry land, moron.
Shark: Sigh.
Kate: Contract, too. Plus, they’re gonna show a lot of my boobs today.
Locke: Sigh. [Finds Kate unconscious on floor.] Kate! Are you all right?
Desmond: Not anymore, she’s not. Are you him?
Locke: What?
Desmond: Are you him? Are you the one?
Locke: Dude, this isn’t Babylon 5, and you’re not Zathras.
Kate: Says you. We have Delenn playing Crazy French Chick.

TO BE FINISHED…