Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part six.

33. I like Jackie Chan movies. And some Jet Li movies, too. In fact, when I come across them late at night while channel-surfing, I have been known to actually rent them so I can see the whole film.

34. Pursuant to the above, I think Asian men are hot. I have a thing for guys with that epicanthic fold. What can I say? If I ever find a single Jewish Asian man, I will be in absolute heaven.

35. I hate being tickled. I hate people coming up behind me and putting their hands over my eyes and saying, “Guess who”? I hate kids hiding behind things and jumping out and yelling “Boo!” I blame all of these things on my brothers, except for the tickling thing. That, I blame on being a control freak. But my brothers used to hide behind things and under things and around things so much while I was growing up that I sometimes had to be pulled off them after striking back for being frightened. (That was when my older brother hid underneath my quilt, which was rumpled because I’d already been in bed and got out for some reason. He jumped out and yelled “Boo!”, I started crying and punching him. Brothers.) I actually have to disappoint every child I know who becomes a regular part of my life, because kids loving jumping out and yelling “Boo!” The nice thing is, they do understand when you tell them you really don’t like it.

36. My family moved about every three years from the time I was five until I was nearly fourteen. I went to six different schools from K-12. We weren’t military brats. My mother was divorced. In the days when nobody had divorced parents.

37. Due to the fact that I was the new kid in school every three years, I got into a lot of fights as a child. Actually, that wasn’t the reason. The reason is because, well, I fought a lot as a child, and my coping skill for being the new kid was to wait for someone to pick on me—and somebody always did, boy or girl—and meet them after school. We’d fight, I’d win, nobody would pick on me any more. I learned much later in life that there were other ways of coping with being the new kid in school. Too late. Oh, there was the little matter of beating up anyone who picked on my brothers, too. I was a scrapper as a child.

38. Sometimes, even as a grownup, I think that a good fight is still the way to settle some issues. I know, I know. I haven’t raised a fist in anger since I was thirteen. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to, sometimes.

39. My younger brother and I were picked up by the MP’s at Fort Wadsworth one year when we sneaked onto the base to watch the NYC Marathon start. Our dad was running in it, and that was the first year you couldn’t stay on the Verrazano Bridge to see them off, because it got too big. I was over eighteen, and scared to death this was going to go on my record. Dave was a wiseass who, when asked where he lived, gave our address, and then said, “But I have a summer home in Newark.” One of the MP’s, obviously from the area, laughed. His partner, a girl from Kansas or some such state, looked puzzled. I was not pleased, and told David to be serious and shut up, because if anyone was going to jail, it was going to be me. The MP’s just took our names and information and then dumped us off outside the base and told us not to come back.

40. Judy Garland is probably my all-time favorite actress and singer. I’ve seen nearly every movie she’s ever done (minus a bunch of the teenage “Let’s put on a show!” films), and got into arguments with one of my early boyfriends, who insisted Streisand was better. I saved our relationship by deciding to declare Streisand the best living singer, and Garland the best deceased. But I didn’t mean it. I was lying. Garland was superior to Streisand vocally (politics don’t come into play here; Barbra is a phenomenal singer, but not as good as Judy was). Oh, and I liked Judy before it was cool. Comes from growing up with a mother who always watched movie musicals on TV.

And one more post ought to do it.

The JPost has an anaylsis of why we’ve seen so many successful attacks on terrorists in Gaza lately. Here’s a hint: Having an actual military man directing military operations seems to be a bit help.

The recent escalation stems from a number of factors, the most significant of which is Israel’s new defense minister, Ehud Barak, who, with only two months on the job, has given the army a longer leash in combating terrorism in the Gaza Strip.

Barak has said in closed-door meetings that he does not believe Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas will succeed in gaining control over the Strip. Barak has also expressed scepticism regarding the possibility of reaching an agreement through the ongoing talks between Abbas and Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.

Unlike his predecessor, Amir Peretz, who was a strong proponent of the policy of restraint vis-à-vis the Kassam rocket fire from Gaza, Barak has ordered the IDF to take a tougher stance in responding to the attacks and has allowed the IDF to take greater risks when operating inside the Strip.

Where Peretz would have held back the green light for an air strike that could end in civilian casualties, Barak is more inclined to say yes. He has also ordered the army to use additional and riskier intelligence-collecting methods when preparing for targeted killings and strikes against Kassam rocket squads.

It seems that Barak has unleashed the IDF more than anyone in recent years.

The IDF’s Southern Command is under orders to use all available defensive and offensive measures to prevent the rocket attacks, and has carved out something of a “security zone” two kilometers into Gaza, the depth it has been authorized by Barak and Chief of General Staff Lt.-Gen. Gabi Ashkenazi to operate within.

According to military sources, the relatively high number of deaths from IDF strikes this past week is also due to chance and the defense establishment’s newfound ability to quickly “close circles” - military jargon for translating and utilizing real-time intelligence in immediate operations.

I think the word isn’t “chance.” I think it is “opportunity.” The IDF is constantly looking for terrorists, and when you are looking for something, and find it, it isn’t luck. It’s method, surveillance, information-gathering, and more. Perhaps the “chance” part came in on there being no one around the jihadis car, but still—that’s what the IDF waits for before ordering a strike.

Of course, there’s also this bad news:

At the moment, the army is holding back from initiating a large-scale operation into Gaza, despite intelligence indicating that Hamas and Islamic Jihad are smuggling unprecedented amounts of weaponry into Gaza. In the end, however, OC Southern Command Maj.-Gen. Yoav Galant’s assumption is that there will be a need for an operation in the Strip to curb the Hamas military buildup.

There’s going to be a war. The question is, with whom, and how many fronts will there be?

Okay, I’ve figured out what I think I would like to get printed up if I decide to go to the courthouse and tell Michael Vick how much I think he sucks:

“Give Michael Vick the same justice he gave his dogs.”

What do you think?

So where do I find out what time he shows up downtown? It’s a 20 minute drive for me, and I am really, really, really thinking about going. This guy is a total slimeball, and he thinks that he deserves to go back to football after he serves his year or 18 months. I think he needs to be banned for life. I hope to God that the Commonwealth of Virginia throws state charges at him on top of the federal charges. Just read this WaPo article and tell me he doesn’t deserve at least five years. Maybe ten.

And it isn’t just dogs they kill. They use cats and kittens and small dogs and guinea pigs while training their dogs. I read recently that someone dropped off something like 60 kittens at a North Carolina animal shelter, most probably for use in dogfighting. The good news is the bastards are running scared. The better news would be that the major breeders and ringleaders were all shut down.

Vick’s friends testified that Vick himself killed—brutally—several dogs that were no longer “of use” to him. And on cue, the NAACP comes along to call Vick’s case “persecution.” This guy is a freaking moron.

“In some instances, I believe Michael Vick has received more negative press than if he would’ve killed a human being,” White said. “The way he is being persecuted, he wouldn’t have been persecuted that much had he killed somebody.”

[...] White also said he didn’t understand the uproar over dogfighting, when hunting deer and other animals is perfectly acceptable.

Yeah, they’re practically interchangeable. There’s no difference between training dogs to kill one another and hunting a deer. None at all. There’s no difference between Michael Vick pouring water all over a dog and then electrocuting it, and some hunter shooting a deer dead with a gun. None of that matters, though. For this freak, it’s all about the football.

“As a society, we should aid in his rehabilitation and welcome a new Michael Vick back into the community without a permanent loss of his career in football,” said R.L. White, president of the group’s Atlanta chapter. “We further ask the NFL, Falcons, and the sponsors not to permanently ban Mr. Vick from his ability to bring hours of enjoyment to fans all over this country.”

White said the Falcons quarterback made a mistake and should be allowed to prove he has learned from that mistake.

Bullshit. When you forget to pay your bills on time, that’s a mistake. When you lock your keys inside your car, that’s a mistake. When you purchase a house and set up a kennel for the sole purpose of watching dogs tear each other apart, that’s not “a mistake.” Vick didn’t accidentally fund and build the kennel, and then accidentally set up the dogfights, and then accidentally kill the dogs that weren’t of any use to him. None of those were mistakes, except in the context that lawbreaking and cruelty to animals are not the right things to do.

The cult of victimology strikes again. Watch for this guy to play the race card if Vick gets state charges added to his federal sentence.

The so-called moderate, Mahmoud Abbas, with whom the Israelis are supposed to be moving forward towards final-status issues, issued a statement about the number of terrorists killed by the IDF yesterday:

A spokesman for Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas on Wednesday condemned “the Israeli escalation, the killing crimes and the assassinations against the Palestinian people in the Gaza Strip and the West Bank.

“The assassination of 13 civilians in one day, including innocent children, is a massacre which cannot be justified. This escalation casts doubt on Israel’s real intentions regarding the peace process, which is first of all expressed in halting all violent activities, attacks and assassinations,” the spokesman said in a statement.

Let’s break down the “massacre,” shall we? This is a list of who the 13 “civilians” were:

• Six Hamas members killed by a missile strike after launching kassams into Israel
• Three members of Islamic Jihad approaching the border fence
• One member of the PFLP who fired on IDF soldiers in Nablus
• Two children killed by IDF missiles right after kassams were launched
• One senior Hamas commander killed in Gaza while heading with a group of armed men towards the border fence.

By my count, that makes 11 terrorists and two children used by terrorists to help perform terrorist acts against Israel. Even stretching the word “civilian” to its limit will not fit. Dupes, maybe. Child soldiers, perhaps. The responsibility for their deaths is the terrorists’.

The deals being made with Abbas will turn out no differently from the deals made with Arafat. There has been no reform whatsoever in the PA. There is no real wish for peace, only for a regrouping and a re-arming. And statements like this, which doubtless will be denied by Abbas tomorrow, simply prove that there is still no real peace partner for Israel.

One one level, it’s black humor: A crematorium was set on fire. (You mean a crematorium can be burned? Who knew?) On other levels, this is a story that just feels—wrong.

A fire broke out Wednesday evening at a crematorium located in the community of Hibat Tzion in the Sharon region. Firefighters dispatched to the scene extinguished the flames; no injuries were reported.

Signs of forced entry were apparent, increasing suspicions that the fire was not accidental.

See, the black humor is everywhere in this story, because I’m thinking the line above me is a Duh! moment.

The location of the crematorium, the first ever to be built in Israel, was revealed Wednesday morning by an Orthodox newspaper Kav Itonut Datit, which is distributed in the city of Bnei Brak.

Until now the funeral home that owns the crematorium, Alei Shalechet, kept the location secret fearing it would be attacked by elements opposed to cremation.

After hearing of the fire, Meshi Zahav, who visited the crematorium on Tuesday, told Ynet that he “blesses the person who (set the crematorium on fire)”, adding that ZAKA has been fighting against the cremation of Jewish people’s bodies all over the world and that it was “inconceivable that this custom exists in Israel”.

Presence revealed Wednesday, religious Jews protest, set on fire Wednesday night. Check. But here is where that black humor comes right back in:

“The purpose of the crematorium is to burn, so now – an eye for an eye – it has fulfilled its purpose,” he said.

I like this guy’s sense of humor. I’m not in any way condoning the destruction of someone’s business. But I find this story a tiny bit amusing, in a bizarre sort of way.