The Man With The Plastic Gun:

Israeli police commandos stormed the British Embassy late Thursday and captured a Palestinian gunman who had scaled the fence and demanded political asylum. There were no reports of injuries.

The gunman, who had burst into the embassy several hours earlier, was disarmed, said the police officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they weren’t authorized to talk to the media.

Later reports state that he had a plastic gun.

So, what gives? He saw a bunch of so-called palestinian “security forces” marching with wooden rifles and believed that the Israelis were armed with similar hardware?

“Our wooden rifles are no match for his plastic gun! Quick! Call the commando units with their wooden rifles wrapped in aluminum foil!”

In typical AP fashion, the headline says “Israeli Police Storm British Embassy.”

You know, because “Israeli Police Capture Palestinian Gunman” or “Israeli Police Secure British Embassy” would make too much sense and actually sound positive.

I take back my earlier statements that every AP staffer who pulls this blatantly biased crap should have a flaming typewriter shoved up their ass.

(They should shove two flaming typewriters shoved up their asses.)

Remember that much-touted interview by Chipmunk Cheeks Nasrallah (may a Hellfire missile find him before his next birthday), where he said there would be no second round against Israel?

Turns out he lied.

Hizbullah representative in Iran Muhammad Abdullah Sif al-Din, said Wednesday that Hizbullah leader Hassan Nasrallah has a new strategic plan to rearm ahead of the “next round against Israel .”

In an interview with the Iranian news agency Fars, al-Din said: “No one can promise us that Israel won’t attack again. Whoever lives as a neighbor to the Zionist regime is in danger and must not save any effort to obtain all of the means to defend himself. We are convinced that there still danger and the situation has not yet been solved. We must, all the time, prepare ourselves for self-defense and to plan for the next stage.”

I know, I’m shocked, too.

No, not really.

Let us review, kiddies. Who funds and arms Hezbullah? Iran (with the aid of Syria). Who calls the shots in Hezbullah? Iran. Who pulls Hezbullah’s strings? Iran. Who is this guy? Iran’s Hezbullah representative.

Do you need help drawing the conclusions here, or can you say, “Good cop/Bad cop”?

I knew you could. But I’m getting dizzy, too. It’s like watching a ping-pong match from a foot away. Someone else watch for a while, I need a break.

During the Hezbullah war, a Red Cross ambulance was supposedly fired on by Israel, and headlines race around the world, causing hundreds of fraudulent news stories, what with the ambulance having never been hit by IDF missiles. But the world still got to read about it with their morning coffee the next day.

Sometime in the last two weeks, a Red Cross ambulance driver was murdered after having been kidnapped. Nobody knows when, because nobody really noticed, and nobody really cares—because he was a Sudanese, and he was killed in Darfur. The ambulance driver wasn’t an Arab killed by an Israeli. There’s absolutely no news value in another dead Sudanese. After all, there have already been some 200,000 Sudanese killed in the war—two hundred times the number of Lebanese killed—and nobody really cares. It hardly even makes the evening news. I could only find a dozen or so articles on Google News about it.

I doubt Time Magazine will mention it at all. Dead Sudanese? Not sexy enough. Dead Arab killed by Israeli missiles? STOP THE PRESSES!

No worries that Zombie will have to put up any stories of phony hits on Darfur Red Cross ambulances. The world doesn’t care enough to show up to take photographs.

Udpate: Reader Birt points out correctly that the driver wasn’t an ambulance driver. Sorry, folks, I misread and assumed. The main point, of course, remains the same: There is a different level of attention to anything that Israel does.

And of course, it was completely ignored by the world media.

Hamas is supposedly near a deal that will release Cpl. Gilad Shalit. Ha’aretz blames Israel for holding up the deal.

GAZA - A source involved in negotiations for the release of soldier Gilad Shalit told Haaretz that Israel was the one holding up the implementation of a deal that could lead to his release.

The source, who is located in the Gaza Strip, said Israel and Hamas have agreed on the principle of exchanging Shalit for Palestinian prisoners, but that the two parties have not yet decided the exact nature of the deal or how it will be carried out.

He said the kidnappers, with whom he is in contact, have made realistic demands. The source would not say how many prisoners Hamas is demanding in the swap, but he did say the number is not in the thousands, as had previously been stated.

Mind you, I’m skeptical about this. No good can come from a lopsided prisoner exchange. They’ve been done in the past. They don’t work for Israel. I think Israel can put more pressure on Hamas over this one. The natives are getting restless.

Palestinian government spokesperson and Hamas official criticizes chaos, violence in Gaza, says Israeli occupation couldn’t be blamed for all; calls on Palestinians to admit to mistakes

No, really.

RAMALLAH, West Bank — Thousands of angry civil servants turned up the pressure on the beleaguered Hamas government Wednesday, marching to demand payment of overdue wages and winning Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas’ blessing for a major strike next week.

I’d say the peasants were revolting, but it’s such an obvious line… oh, wait. Never mind.