I have.

I just ingested five billion (give or take a few million) freeze-dried cells. Sarah suggested I try Florastor to counteract the bad results of the antibiotics in my system. She gave it to her seven-year-old, who proclaimed it, “nasty.” So I went to the drugstore and asked for a probiotic, and received a blank stare from the young woman behind the counter. Who then talked to the pharmacist, who said, “Here,” and handed her a package. The package he gave me is for kids. I said, “Don’t you have anything for grownups? Like a pill or something?”

“Nope.” (It does come in caplet form. I was just unlucky.)

So tonight, after the evening regimen of horse pills, I mixed a package with a glass of orange juice. Y’know, Nate wasn’t exaggerating. I couldn’t really taste the stuff, since I filled the glass (8 oz.). But it has a really nasty smell, and the smell didn’t go away when mixed.

The package says it contains 5 billion live freeze-dried cells of Saccharomyces boulardii. But a quick trip to their website discovers several lies on the main page.

Lie Number One: “Great tasting fruit flavor.” See “nasty smell,” above.
Lie Number Two: “Dissolves completely in juice or water.” Tell that to the cells on the side of my glass (currently soaking).

Well, okay. If it works, they can lie about those two things. Tomorrow morning, though, I’m mixing it with chocolate milk. Maybe the chocolate will overpower the nasty scent.

In any event, my great experiment with the various bacteriology of my digestive system continues. And in another eleven days, with any luck, H. pylori will be dead, dead, dead. And I won’t get my too-frequent stomach ailments.

You know, if you really think about it, right now, there’s one hell of a war going on in my stomach. Good bacteria. Bad bacteria. Acidopholus. Saccharomyces boulardi. (Oh. My. Gd. I just discovered a website called “Doctor Fungus.” And discovered that I’ve been waxing poetic about — Brewer’s yeast.

Well. In any case, the war continues. And I can hear them fighting as I write this. Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle. Take that, bad bacteria! Die! Die!

One reason is that sometimes, their sense of irony is hilarious.

VIDEO - The Red Dawn alert system’s tune has in recent days become a hit among youths in the rocket-stricken town of Sderot.

The tune, perhaps being used in a humorous way to deal with the tense situation, has been turned into a mobile phone ringtone.

Yehuda Peretz, a Reuters photographer in the south, is the person behind the ringtone. He recorded the sound of the siren and managed to turn it into a ringtone on his mobile phone.

“I didn’t think it would become this popular. Now mainly teenagers are asking me for the ringtone and I decided to give them the opportunity to download it. Many have already downloaded it to their mobile phones,” he said.

Some of their parents may not like it, but this is a perfect example of why I get such a kick out of teenagers. They have a perfect grip on how to give a one-finger salute in any situation.

Wow. Read this opinion piece by Israel Harel. The flames are so hot my keyboard melted.

But something, nonetheless, must be on their conscience. And that something is called indirect moral responsibility. After all, the killing - even though it was caused either by an explosive device placed by Palestinians or by an old unexploded IDF shell - is an obvious result in the chain reaction that stems from the original sin: the disengagement. And the disengagement, which has so far caused the deaths of hundreds of Palestinians, including children, women and the elderly, would not have been implemented had it not been for the support of those who are now protesting outside the chief of staff’s house (why not in front of the prime minister’s house?) or who are writing articles - in Israel and, of course, abroad - rebuking the IDF. And there were those who had warned them, hundreds of times, that this is what would happen. But they hardened their hearts and refused to believe that these events would be among the results of their support for Ariel Sharon and his iniquities. They cannot, therefore, blame the IDF while claiming innocence.

It is not only Sharon, Ehud Olmert, the opportunists and the givers of bad advice who are to blame for the lethal results. A major part of the blame also falls on most Israeli citizens: those who supported these dangerous and irresponsible moves and even put Olmert and his friends, who were responsible for this historic failure, back in power after it had become well-known that the disengagement was a deadly fiasco.

So, how’s the EU’s participation in the Rafah crossing agreement holding up?

The team of international monitors at the Rafah crossing threatened on Thursday to leave, since Hamas ministers were allowed to pass freely through the crossing while carrying millions of dollars in cash.

One of the monitors told Palestinian officials, including chief negotiator Saeb Erekat, that the Palestinian guards were not checking the baggage of the those crossing from Egypt at all, Israel Radio reported.

I’m pretty sure that Erekat’s response was “Good - now we know they can follow orders.” Unless it’s cutting into his share of the bribe revenue stream, of course.
Anybody else thinking that the Philadelphi Corridor will be recaptured and the “Moat Project” will be implemented?

Israel civilians have been attacked and wounded by dozens of rockets falling on their town in the last week. But the world doesn’t give a flying —. The latest attack?

Islamic Jihad fired a salvo of Qassam rockets into the western Negev city of Sderot on Thursday morning, wounding three people. The strike came shortly after the ruling Hamas party denied a Haaretz report that it had ordered an end to Qasssam strikes, fearing its leadership would be targeted by Israel.

Two of the rockets slammed into an open area near the city, a third hit near the city’s entrance and the fourth crashed into the Sderot industrial area damaging a factory. Another three rockets crashed into Israel on Thursday.

One person sustained minor facial wounds from shrapnel when the factory roof collapsed as a result of the rocket’s impact. Two other people were treated for shock.

The rockets land in homes, in schools, in children’s beds — and the world ignores it. Or says that Israel “had it coming.” Or that it’s the result of the occupation.

Except the rockets are coming from Gaza, where there are no longer any Israelis, and no occupation. And their aim has become better: A 60-year-old man was in critical condition after a rocket landed near where he was working — at a college.

Time and again, the wire services repeat their mantra that these “homemade” or “crude” rockets cause “little or no damage.” Let’s look at the latest stories. From Reuters:

The Islamic militant group scrapped a 16-month truce with Israel last Friday and soon after launched a barrage of makeshift rockets at the Jewish state from Gaza.

[...] Army Radio reported four rockets hit the Israeli town of Sderot, near Gaza, on Thursday. That compares to 30 to 40 rockets launched daily just after Hamas ended its truce.

Medics said two people were lightly wounded in the latest rocket attacks, which were claimed by the Islamic Jihad group.

Note how the media brushes past the fact that Israeli civilians were wounded by rocket attacks. When a palestinian is wounded by Israeli fire, thousands of headlines blare it around the world. I had to search extremely hard through Google News to find that reference to the critically-wounded man from Sderot. “gaza beach explosion” brings back several thousand hits.

The AP also minimizes attacks on Israel:

Hamas fired several dozen rockets toward southern Israel over the weekend, but in recent days there has been a lull.

But the “lull” is belied by their own later paragraph:

The Islamic Jihad militant group, which has never accepted the truce, fired five rockets toward Israel on Thursday.

The BBC, which is making inroads on American television:

Since the deaths, Hamas has fired a dozens of home-made rockets at Israel, causing panic and several injuries.

Israel frequently bombards northern Gaza, targeting militant rocket crews who attack nearby Israeli territory.

Note how the BBC uses the word “fired a [sic] dozens of home-made rockets” when referring to Hamas. Now look at the language used for Israel’s response to terrorist rocket attacks on her civilians. “Israel frequently bombards northern Gaza:” Yet another example of the anti-Israel media bias. Jewish injuries don’t count. But Gd forbid a palestinian should stub his toe as the result of an IDF operation, and Kofi Annan is ready with a UN statement.

In the meantime, Israeli schoolchildren are learning how to duck and cover.

The IDF Home Front Command on Wednesday finished mapping out the number of schools in the western Negev in need of reinforcement against the threat of incoming Palestinian-fired Kassam rockets.

[...] Half of the schools were in Sderot and the other half were in Gaza-belt communities located within range of Kassam rockets

If the picture that accompanies the JPost article had a caption that read “palestinian kids taking cover during an Israel mortar attack drill,” you’d see it in newspapers all over the world.

But it’s just Israeli kids, who have the misfortune to live within rocket range of palestinians. So the world doesn’t care.

Say it with me, people. What time is it? That’s right, Israeli double standard time.

Schools are good for you. Even if you do not become a scientist, the school will somehow or other develop your social skills, lead you to some sports, give you an initial understanding that boys are not to be looked upon with disdain or that girls are not just animated dolls that cry when pulled by their hair. You have a good chance to become a useful member of the society upon graduating, and in short - the whole world is yours.

But there are schools and then there are schools. Here is one specific school briefly described in an IHT article about the safe return of the “bomber sheikh” - Islamic cleric Abu Bakar Bashir to his hometown of Solo. To remind you who Bashir is:

An Indonesian court acquitted Bashir in March 2005 of seven terrorism charges involving the 2002 Bali nightclub bombings that killed 202 people, including 88 Australians, and the Marriott Hotel bombing in Jakarta in 2003. He was convicted of a conspiracy involving those bombings.

And here comes into the picture the school where Bashir is something of a spiritual father.

Students at the Islamic boarding school, Al Mukmin, where Bashir is revered as a spiritual leader, guarded streets along the approach to the school’s front gates in preparation for their teacher’s arrival, many of them dressed in army fatigues.

“He is the most Islamic man I know,” said Abdul, 17, who has been attending Al Mukmin now for five years. “I am very happy about his being released. He is one of our founding fathers.”

Several members of the Islamic organization Jemaah Islamiyah, and a number of people convicted here for their involvement in terrorist bombings, are graduates of Al Mukmin. The school now enrolls about 1,600 students, most of them male, from all over Indonesia.

Some school, indeed…

And I would bet that the social skills acquired by Abdul, who considers Bashir to be the most Islamic man he knows, will include ability to express his love to humanity in crowded places. With a lot of conviction and explosive force…

Cross-posted on SimplyJews