Dear AbbaGav:

On your website, you ask your readers: “Please let me know if I’ve improperly used or quoted your material.”

You have improperly quoted my material, to wit, in the case of this post, and this one.

Okay, granted, I never actually wrote anything that you didn’t properly quote in your two posts, but I was thinking of writing something like both of them, and so you’re guilty of stealing my thoughts. And thought crimes are the worst of all, obviously, because hate crimes seem to be the kind of crimes that get people all exercised while mass murders merely make them yawn.

And no, I wasn’t really thinking about writing a Top Ten Reasons Blogging Might Be Slow This Week and making it Passover-themed, but that’s beside the point, isn’t it? I might have written it, and if I did, then you improperly attributed it to me. No, wait, you haven’t improperly attributed it to me yet, but if I had written it, then you were going to, which is another thought crime. Strike 2, AbbaGav.

And okay, I wasn’t going to write a post comparing the behavior of my children with the behavior of Hamas and the PA, or, well, maybe I was, I don’t know, let me think for a minute! Geez! This thought-crime stuff is hard.

Okay. So, if I did write a post like that (which I now can’t, because people would say I copied the idea from you), then you would have improperly quoted or used my material, and now I can’t even think of writing that post without being thought of as a copycat, and dude, that is Strike 3.

I should very much like to find a way to resolve this situation with you.


Meryl Yourish

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8 Responses to Dear AbbaGav:

  1. Shouldn’t that be “Blogging will be light today…” ?

  2. You see that? It’s even making Lair Simon think I was using his material.

    Strike 4, AbbaGav.

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  4. AbbaGav says:

    You also might want to know that when the French originally invented baseball in the late 17th century, it took 85 strikes to get a player out, so loathe were they to hurt a batsman’s feelings. So 4 strikes really don’t bother me much at all, but your point is duly noted.

  5. Ben F says:

    Meryl, I’m truly sorry that I suggested that you blogroll AbbaGav. If only I had kept my mouth shut fingers still, this regrettable and grave state of affairs might never have come about.

    In the words of the late, great Steve Goodman:

    If everybody had ESP
    everything would be ok.
    We could see trouble coming
    and we could step out of the way.
    When the grim reaper comes to call
    we could arrange to be out of town.
    It would be the great escape
    and you could put it on video tape.

    From the song Video Tape, which I heard him perform a few decades ago. Don’t even think of buying Say It In Private, though, or any of Goodman’s CDs, for that matter. He was a gifted writer, you see (his City of New Orleans became a Top-40 hit for Arlo Guthrie), and if you listen to him you may find that he stole a lot of your unwritten essays.

    And then I’d feel REALLY terrible.

  6. Ezzie says:

    Haha… I love AbbaGav. He reminds me of LGF, but much funnier, with more original content, and with less commenters. (And I like LGF.)

  7. Jack says:

    AbbaGav has outstanding taste in basketball teams and a tremendous singing voice.

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