May I just say that I caught bits and pieces of the newest edition of that classic Passover tale, and I have a few questions and comments.

Why does everyone speak with a British accent?

Why was Moses wandering around in the desert without water, getting more and more haggard, and yet, staying mostly clean-shaven?

Don’t you think men look really stupid with shaved heads and lots of eyeliner? Oh, and the dresses don’t help much. I thought I was in Greenwich Village on Gay Pride Parade Day or something.

So, if it was God who parted the Red Sea (and we know it was really the Reed Sea, not the Red Sea, but let’s not go there for now, this is Hollywood), howcome Moses went “Argh!” and “Ugh!” when the sea was parting? Because, like, y’know, uh — he didn’t do anything but lift that staff. And come on, nobody is that out of shape.

Say, didn’t you just love that little pause for moralization when Moses’ Egyptian buddy came to him and complained that his son who was killed was innocent and didn’t deserve it? Because I don’t know about you, but that’s what I want to see when I’m watching the crappy remake of a hokey Biblical epic: Lectures on moralism. (At this point, I’d be perfectly content to see Victor Mature pushing down the pillars on the Philistines; hokey is fun! Or Edward G. Robinson trying not to talk like Edward G. Robinson. That was funny.)

Anyway. I’ll probably catch the second half, because I want to see the famous scene where Moses smashes the Commandments on the ground. Plus I want to see their version of the Golden Calf. Oh, and there’s the little cliffhanger ending from tonight, where Moses if facing down a spearman. Gee. Ya think he’ll survive and cross the Red Sea with the rest of the Hebrews, or what?

I’m so excited, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep for wondering!

On your website, you ask your readers: “Please let me know if I’ve improperly used or quoted your material.”

You have improperly quoted my material, to wit, in the case of this post, and this one.

Okay, granted, I never actually wrote anything that you didn’t properly quote in your two posts, but I was thinking of writing something like both of them, and so you’re guilty of stealing my thoughts. And thought crimes are the worst of all, obviously, because hate crimes seem to be the kind of crimes that get people all exercised while mass murders merely make them yawn.

And no, I wasn’t really thinking about writing a Top Ten Reasons Blogging Might Be Slow This Week and making it Passover-themed, but that’s beside the point, isn’t it? I might have written it, and if I did, then you improperly attributed it to me. No, wait, you haven’t improperly attributed it to me yet, but if I had written it, then you were going to, which is another thought crime. Strike 2, AbbaGav.

And okay, I wasn’t going to write a post comparing the behavior of my children with the behavior of Hamas and the PA, or, well, maybe I was, I don’t know, let me think for a minute! Geez! This thought-crime stuff is hard.

Okay. So, if I did write a post like that (which I now can’t, because people would say I copied the idea from you), then you would have improperly quoted or used my material, and now I can’t even think of writing that post without being thought of as a copycat, and dude, that is Strike 3.

I should very much like to find a way to resolve this situation with you.

Sincerely,

Meryl Yourish

The EU has voted to suspend direct aid to the Hamas-controlled Palestinian Authority.

How long will it be before their observers at the Rafah Crossing get kidnapped?

UPDATE:
Abbas orders his henchmen to Rafah:

The official, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to give details to the media, said the new arrangement at the Rafah crossing would go into effect on Tuesday. Rafah is the only point of entry and exit between Gaza and the outside world besides Israel.

Hamas will have to act fast if they want to grab the EU observers.

Do you remember when Hamas was elected? They stated quite clearly that they did not consider themselves bound by previous agreements with Israel, only that they would get to pick and choose which agreements were in their people’s “interests.” Well, now they’re up in arms about Israel refusing to talk with a terrorist-led PA, and screaming loudly. But it seems to me I’ve heard these words before.

Prime Minister-designate Ehud Olmert said Sunday that Israel would end relations with the PA, which it now viewed as a “hostile” entity, and would act to prevent Hamas from becoming an established government.

[...] In statements issued in quick succession on Monday, Hamas and Abbas both denounced Israel’s decision.

Hamas spokesman Sami Abu Zuhri said in a statement in Gaza that Israel’s decision to sever contacts with the PA amounted to “a declaration of war and a failed attempt to cause internal divisions among Palestinians.”

I believe this is the second time Hamas has used that phrase inappropriately.

“Unilateral Israeli disengagement from Palestinian territories is a declaration of war against the Palestinian people,” Mashaal said.

No, wait, that’s the third time.

“Consequently, the Zionist position, be it that of Kadima or others, is one that buries the peace process, negates its existence and does not give it a chance. That position is a declaration of war against the Palestinian people,” he added.

No, wait, that wasn’t the third time. Here’s a quote from back in 2003 by our buddy al-Zahar:

Dr. Mahmoud al-Zahar, another Hamas leader, said the “the things spoken at Abaqa are a declaration of war against the Palestinian people.” Rather than renouncing terror, he said that “all options should remain open to the Palestinian people while the occupation still exists.”

Apparently, any action by Israel — or any action by other palestinians to attempt to rein in terror against Israel — is “a declaration of war against the palestinian people.”

I imagine that in their lexicon, this post — come to think of it, my entire site — is a declaration of war against the palestinian people.”

Get a new playbook, Hamas. You’re getting repetitive.

The Lebanese foiled a plot to kill Hassan Nasrallah.

Palestinian-Lebanese cell that plotted to assassinate Hizbullah Chief Hassan Nasrallah was exposed in Lebanon last week, the local A-Safir newspaper reported on Monday.

According to the report, the cell, which included 10 members, followed Nasrallah on several occasions during the month of March and the beginning of April as the Hizbullah leader was making his way to “National Dialogue” deliberations in Beirut.

The cell devised a detailed plan to carry out the assassination, codenamed “No Mistakes,” and even set a date for the attack.

Lebanese army intelligence was able to foil the assassination, which was supposed to take place during the next “National Dialogue” session, by arresting the cell members, all of whom are of Lebanese and Palestinian origin.

I’m going to be bummed out the rest of the day.

Damn.

Stupid palestinians. Stupid Lebanese. You couldn’t do this one little thing right?

Bummer.

It looks like the Lebanese and their semi-welcome Palestinian guests are getting tired of Syria’s and Iran’s proxy-army occupying their terroritory:

Nine Lebanese and Palestinian gunmen were arrested in Lebanon on Monday under suspicion that they planned to assassinate Hizbullah leader Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah.

According to a report in the Lebanese a-Safir, the nine have been monitoring Nasrallah’s movements during April and May, while he was engaged in talks with Lebanese groups.

The nine were reportedly found to be in possession of LAW rockets.

Feel free to make your own “Islamic Law” jokes.

The following is an email that was forwarded to me by Rahel who, at my request, did some fact-checking for me and attests to the veracity of the email. It is a look at what the so-called “settlers” have to put up with regularly, and a look into what might be the next opening on the terror front.

FW: Arab terror reconnaissance operating here
Last week a terrorist disguised himself as a religious Jew and was picked up at a hitchhiking station by residents that were going to the community of Kadumim. The Arab detonated 10 kg of explosives at the gate entrance of Kadumim resulting in 4 Jews murdered instantly

Now we have had at least one more incident of Arabs disguising themselves as Jews, if not to actually committ genocide but in order to test our awareness and defenses. Who knows, maybe it was a dry-run rehearsal by a woman who was preparing herself to actually committ genocide in the future.

I added some explanations and translated certain words and phrases for those that need it.

Friday afternoon I was on my way home, I stopped by the Gilo trempiada (hitchhiking station) to pick up anyone going to Efrat. A lady in her 40’s gets in and says she is going to Efrat. She had the appearance of a nice married Jewish women (scarf on the head and all) and spoke fluent Hebrew. So I picked her up and started driving.

As I was driving I could not help smelling an odor of sheep and of a an Arab village (Arab homes out here are heated with wood fireplaces and the smell if it clings on them) I turned and asked the women what her destination was, she answered “derech Efrat” (”by way of Efrat”), I asked her to specify a yishuv (community) and she kept quiet, at this point I became very suspicious and asked her if she was Jewish. She said yes and so I kept driving. I then took a wild guess and asked her if she needed to get to Bethlehem? She said YES!! (there are no Jews living in Bethlehem)

I swerved my car to the shoulder, jumped out and told her she has ten seconds to get out of my car, I was counting down with one hand on my gun. She started getting out and saying that I was embarrassing her and that she was Jewish!! I of course was feeling embarrassed and very confused. I asked for her identity card, she answered that she does not have it with her. I once again asked if she was Jewish and this time she told me she was an Arab woman! After several seconds of yelling at this woman, I told what the difference between a Jew and an Arab is! “YOU GUYS BLOW UP AND MURDER!!!!”

I immediately called Meir Katz (Efrat security officer) who instructed me to have this woman open her bags to make sure she was not carrying a bomb! I ordered her to rip open all five bags she was carrying and dump them on the sidewalk. She complained and yelled a little but I made it very clear I was not fooling around! After several seconds she started dumping her clothes out on the sidewalk! After being sure she was not carrying any weapons I ordered her to get back into the car and that I was taking her to the nearest army post. She got back in and I sped to the nearest checkpoint!

I jumped out and approached the MAGAVNICK (Border Patrol cop) with this story. I was FUMING (after what happened the day before in kedumim!) This woman has some nerve! The Magavnick told me that he will escort me to the Bethlehem base where they will arrest the woman! I arrived at the base and told the Magav that I will stick around till this woman is arrested. He then asked her for a Teudat Zehut (identity card) and she pulls out a green Palestinian Authority ID! She then turns to me and sarcastically says - “Toda Rabah!” (”Thank you very much!) - I turned to her and said - When you sick Muslims stop blowing people up I might take you in my car - till then keep your mouth shut!!!

The Magav came back after 20 minutes and said to me the following “this woman broke the law and we will therefore arrest her, /but you, too, broke the law!” In disbelief I replied “WHAT?!”

The Magav looked me straight in the eyes and says:” You were transporting a Palestinian without a permit!!!!”

I was in completes shock! I looked this guy back in the eye and said “put the cuffs on! I would love to stand in front of the judge and explain this!!” He then tells me that I can go and they will deal with the woman! I say NO WAY!! I am here to make sure you don’t let this woman go!! The Magav turns to me and says…”Go home!”

I left out of total disbelief!!!
PEOPLE: If you are waiting for a tremp (thumbing a ride) or are stopping to pick someone up ASK ABOUT ANY SUSPICIONS YOU HAVE!! Dont be shy or you might be DEAD!!

I had a bad feeling making a woman empty her belongings - BUT - that’s because I am Jewish!!! AND THAT”S EXACTLY WHAT THE ARABS ARE BETTING ON!!!

This case is exactly what “Lo lerachem al achzarim” means!!!! (lit: “Don’t be merciful to the cruel” He referred to the Talmudic expression: ‘Those who are merciful to the cruel inevitably become cruel to the merciful.’)

I have removed the author’s name, but again, Rahel fact-checked the story for me and I’m satisfied that it is true.

I hope that this story gets distributed widely, before the terrorists get another shot.

The International Solidarity Movement, which proclaims itself to be a nonviolent organization that advocates only nonviolent “resistance,” is running terrorist press releases on its website. That would appear to go against the ISM’s stated goals:

To join the ISM in Palestine, you must adhere to the following principles:

1. Belief in freedom for the Palestinian people based on all relevant United Nations Resolutions and international law.
2. Using only nonviolent, direct-action methods, strategies and principles to work towards our goal.

It also goes against what they say are their founding principles:

The International Solidarity Movement (ISM) is a Palestinian-led movement committed to resisting the Israeli occupation of Palestinian land using nonviolent, direct-action methods and principles. Founded by a small group of activists in August, 2001, ISM aims to support and strengthen the Palestinian popular resistance by providing the Palestinian people with two resources, international protection and a voice with which to nonviolently resist an overwhelming military occupation force.

It also goes against another of their principles:

Attacks on innocent civilians, be they Israeli or Palestinian, are forbidden under most understandings of international law and ISM seeks nothing more for Israelis and Palestinians than the implementation of international law. We oppose the tactic of suicide bombings, especially those that have been carried out against civilian targets.

[...] The ISM maintains that all military tactics should be stopped by all sides in favor of nonviolent alternatives.

Of course, this isn’t the first time the ISM has been caught supporting terrorists. The IDF caught a terrorist hiding in their offices in Jenin some years back.

The Israeli authorities need to reclassify the ISM as a terrorist support group. What more proof do they need?

Via Dave.

Kofi Annan has released a statement about the current Israeli military response in Gaza, calling on “both sides to refrain from any measures that could cause a further escalation.”

“The Secretary-General is extremely concerned about the continuation and intensification of violence in Israel and the occupied Palestinian territory, including indiscriminate rocket attacks against Israel from Gaza, a suicide bombing last week, and major Israeli reprisal operations,” a spokesman for Mr. Annan said in a statement.

He called on the Palestinian Authority “to take a clear public stand against violence and to take firm measures against the perpetrators of rocket attacks and suicide bombings.” The Government of Israel was called on “to ensure that its responses are proportionate and do not endanger the civilian population.”

Mr. Annan asked both sides “to act in conformity with international law, and to refrain from taking any steps which further escalate the violence,” according to the statement, which was released in New York as well as Sevilla, Spain, where the Secretary-General is traveling.

This is a good thing, right? What’s wrong with it?

Here’s what’s wrong with it: The kassam rockets have been falling daily for months, both before and after the Gaza withdrawal. Kofi Annan does not see fit to worry about the rockets until the IDF responds militarily and kills a bunch of palestinian terrorist. Then, suddenly, Kofi is “concerned” and utters a statement condemning “both sides,” when in reality he has turned a blind eye to palestinian violence the entire time.

Only when Israel defends itself does the UN spring into action.

Eff you very much, Kofi, and by the way, nice job on the Oil-for-Food scandal, too.

If you were to read this story, and only this story, about the weekend military actions by the IDF, you’d swear that Israel murdered 15 palestinians in “revenge” for their sending crude, homemade rockets that almost never killed anyone (the subtext being that they really didn’t mean to hurt anyone, honest!).

15 killed as Israel takes revenge for rockets fired from Gaza

At least 15 Palestinians were killed in a series of Israeli attacks over the weekend aimed at stopping Gaza-based militants firing rockets into Israel.

The bloodshed was the worst in Gaza since Israel withdrew its settlers and soldiers last summer, raising the prospect of a return to the worst tit-for-tat killings of the four-year intifada.

But while the military wing of Hamas called for retaliation, political leaders of the Islamic group were more statesmanlike.

Ghazi Hamad, the chief spokesman for the Hamas government now administering the Occupied Territories, called on the United Nations to pressure Israel into stopping its military offensive.

Notice the spin of that last paragraph. Unbelievable. Hamas is a terrorist organization that wants to destroy Israel, and the Telegraph is calling it “statesmanlike” because it knows how to mouth propaganda.

Also notice the lie of “tit-for-tat killings.” Here’s how the “tit-for-tat” cycle works. The palestinians murder Israeli civilians. The IDF goes looking for the murderers, frequently arresting or killing other murderers while doing so, mostly because those other murderers are shooting at the IDF. Or the IAF knocks a Hellfire missile into a car full of terrorists on their way to or from a “training camp,” a rocket attack, or a terrorist mission.

When the U.S. and Britain do this, it is self-defense. When Israel does it, it is “tit-for-tat killings.”

The first inkling that Israel’s iron-fist response to the Gaza rocket attacks was having any impact emerged yesterday when a spokesman for the Islamic Jihad Party (IJP) - one of the principal militant groups responsible for firing Qassam rockets into Israel - said a week-long ceasefire would hold only if Israel stopped launching its attacks.

There seemed little likelihood of that with Mr Olmert issuing a tough statement yesterday about the rocket attack problem.

He said he had placed “no curb” on his armed forces in their hunt to destroy the Qassam rockets and those launching them.

Yes, it’s an “iron-fist response” when you try to stop people from murdering your people, but wait a bit longer to see how much of a threat this reporter considers the kassam rockets.

Checkpoints, walls and barriers have reduced the number of suicide attacks committed by Palestinian militants, so the Qassam has become their favoured weapon.

Made from a piece of metal tubing, with four fins welded crudely on the end, it can be knocked up in a matter of minutes by smiths in Gaza.

It has a range of just five miles and has no means of steering but the amount of explosive it carries makes it a potentially deadly weapon. The rate of Qassams being fired from Gaza has increased markedly since the withdrawal.

Yes, it’s a “potentially deadly” weapon. Here’s a news flash: Kassam rockets have killed Israelis — and palestinians.

In the face of these attacks, Israel has ramped up its response.

Yes. And imagine if Ireland started lobbing shells at Britain on a daily basis. Think the Brits would simply wait and see if they’d stop?

Yeah, me neither.

You know what bothers me the most about this? It’s an opinion piece masquerading as a news story. There is no identification of the 15 dead palestinians, all but one of whom were terrorists. And the one who was not was a child brought by his father to watch Daddy the Terrorist train with other terrorists.\

No context. Only blame. No background, only Israel as villain. No honesty, only spin. This article is a piece of crap.

Is it any wonder so many Europeans blame Israel and hold the pals blameless? They get nothing but anti-Israel spin in their news.