The Master of Juvenile Scorn

Originally published on April 28, 2003

The last word on Aziz and Tacitus, dudes

Judith Weiss wrote a wonderful summary of what went down, but I realized that I need to sum up for my own readers, in my own way. Go to Kesher Talk for the links if you think you need more information. I’m like, too beat after writing this.

Like, Joe was reading a post by Aziz, and Aziz was like, whoa, Israel is making an Arab gene bomb, and Joe was like, whoa, Aziz, that’s a load of crap and, like, dude, anti-Semites use that line and Aziz was like, no, Israel is making a gene bomb, dude, and Joe was like, take it back, dude, or we’re not gonna be buds anymore. So then Diane and Judith said, whoa, dude, those are anti-Semitic lies, and Aziz said, dudes, why are you all ganging up on me? And, like, Israel might be working on the gene bomb, so I, like, wasn’t wrong. And then I was like, dude, you’re passing along an anti-Semitic lie, and it, like, really stinks, man, and then Aziz was like, dudes, it’s possible to make a gene bomb, and stop calling me names and ganging up on me.

Then Aziz goes to these science dudes, and he goes, dudes, is a gene bomb possible? And I was like, science dudes, watch out! He wants to use your brains for evil! And Aziz was like, go away, SuperJew. But then I went, dude, you’re still passing along anti-Semitic lies, stop, dude, and he was like, stop calling me names.

Then Tacitus goes, Meryl, stop calling Aziz an anti-Semite, and I was like, dude, I didn’t, I said he’s passing along anti-Semitic lies, and he was like, dude, I’ll be the one who says who can and can’t say when it’s anti-Semitism, and I was like, dude, but what about Aziz? And he was like, dude, stop calling him an anti-Semite, and I was like, dude, howcome you’re picking on me and not saying that Aziz was passing along anti-Semitic lies and he was like, dude, I said I would be the one to say what is and isn’t anti-Semitic, so, like, shut up, bitch. Okay, he didn’t say it, but like, he was thinking it.

And I was like, dude, that’s rude, and like, you’re just ignoring the issue and sticking up for your bud, and he was like, all right! and then he goes, dude, you’re still using anti-Semitism too much and I didn’t say you could. Oh, and like, I never said nothin’ about you before, so you’re like, busted, dude.

So now I’m like, dude, you’re right, it wasn’t you, I was wrong, it was some other jerk who said I use the word anti-Semitic too much, but who cares, ’cause you’re still a schmuck, and Aziz is still passing along anti-Semitic lies, and you’re still, like, refusing to say so. So I’m like, whoa, I am so done with this.

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