Israel files complaint with UN; complaint goes into circular file. Shyeah, like the UN is going to do something about Lebanese terrorists launching katyushas into Israel. It’s not like UNIFIL is doing anything to stop Hezbullah from building stockpiles of rockets in south Lebanon, even when the stockpiles blow up and UNIFIL can’t pretend they don’t exist anymore. The fact that UNIFIL and the Lebanese army actually found four unfired katyushas is astonishing, as they can’t seem to find their asses with either hand when it comes to Hezbullah arms and munitions.

The Goldstone dividends: Over 1,500 lawsuits are being filed by Gazans over damages from Cast Lead. Yeah, good luck with that. Israeli courts are not the UN. You have to go by actual laws in order to say that the IDF violated them. I anticipate about 1,500 dismissals.

Turkey and Iran: Together again for the very first time. Turkey’s prime minister goes to Iran, stands smiling while Ahmadinejad denounces “the Zionist regime” yet again. Oh, yeah. The honeymoon with Israel is over, and the Islamists have won. Then there’s that little bit about Erdogan saying that Avigdor Lieberman told him he wanted to nuke the Palestinians. I call bullshit on that, but of course, the Guardian printed it anyway.

J-Street is like Kadima like this blog is like J-Street: Shyeah, pull the other leg, Ben-Ami. Gawd. You are such a loser. Your student arm is dropping the words “pro-Israel” to keep people from thinking that, gee, they’re pro-Israel. Yeah, that’s just like Kadima, the party that Ariel Sharon built to keep himself in power long enough to disengage from Gaza (and that worked out so well, too). Sure. Uh-huh. In Bizarro World, maybe.

In criticizing militant rockets, Farrow advised Gazans not to “give the international community ammunition to view you in a negative way.” Stopping them, she said, could lead to greater international aid.

Got it? Don’t stop firing rockets at Sderot’s schoolchildren because it’s immoral, illegal, and outright wrong. Stop firing rockets so that you can get more money.

Way to be a goodwill ambassador.

Asshat.

Awesome! Separately signed Palestinian unification agreements! Yes, it’s true. Fatah and Hamas are getting back together again, but they’re doing it so well that they refuse to have a joint signing ceremony. And Hamas is saying that it’s not really sure it’s going to sign the truce.

Hamas spokesman Fawzi Barhoum said his organization would not be pressured into signing a truce deal Fatah had already signed. “Things happened that our public opinion cannot accept, and the Goldstone affair is still shaking up the atmosphere,” he said.

You can’t make this stuff up. I wish them all they deserve, and would like to know who gets to keep the cat in the divorce agreement. (Can’t be a dog. Unclean, Muslim, and all that.)

Turkey and Syria, together again: Now Syria will be holding joint military exercises with Turkey. I hope the Turkish pilots are good at ducking, because the Syrian Air Force is pretty crappy overall (80 Syrian jets downed by Israel, zero Israeli jets by Syria, in that dogfight in the Lebanon war). Good luck with those exercises, Turks! You deserve each other. (Wait—wait—just did more than skim the article. Land exercises only. Can we get a BWAHA! from the crowd?)

The Quartet’s still around? Apparently, there is no statute of limitations on any Israeli-Palestinian agreement. They’re still yammering about Oslo and the Road Map, and now, there’s actually a news story that references The Quartet (the U.S., Russia, the EU, and the UN). And now that I think about it, that isn’t four parts. It’s two states, the EU, and the EU and two states all over again with the UN. So that means that everyone in the EU gets two votes, Russia and the U.S. get three votes, but states that aren’t in the EU and aren’t Russia or the U.S. get only one vote. I think that’s wrong. You should subtract the EU, subtract Russia, and right now, subtract the U.S. because our leadership is filled with morons when it comes to Israel. Um. I completely forgot what I was going to mention about the Quartet. Oh, yeah! They’re saying that the Fatah-Hamas reconciliation agreement has to abide by the Road Map, meaning Hamas has to renounce violence, recognize Israel and respect past agreements. So, anyway—the Quartet’s still around?

The names of the 20 Palestinian prisoners slated to be released in exchange for a video providing proof captive Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit is alive, have been released.

The exchange is meant to serve as the first step in a deal to secure the soldier’s release. None of the women on the list have been convicted of murder and the majority of them were slated to be released within a year’s time, regardless of the deal.

I admit, I didn’t think he was still alive. I’ll be very happy to be proven wrong.

In a sermon for the Eid el-Fitr holiday marking the end of Ramadan, Hamas Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh told Gazans congregating in a stadium in Gaza City that “no one has the right to give up on Jerusalem or the [Palestinian] refugees. Not the PLO and no any other factor can sign an agreement hurting the Palestinian people’s principles and rights. Any agreement reached will not be respected by our people.”

So what, exactly, is the point of including Hamas in the talks? Oh, that’s right. Without Hamas, there can be no peace agreement. Except that with Hamas, there can be no peace agreement. Funny how the Carters of the world never seem to hear Hamas leaders say no.

This is impossible.

The mandate itself declared that war crimes were committed by Israel. This is a case of a court issuing a guilty verdict before any facts are in.

“Human Rights Council… Decides to dispatch an urgent, independent international fact-finding mission, to be appointed by the President of the Council, to investigate all violations of international human rights law and international humanitarian law by the occupying Power, Israel, against the Palestinian people throughout the Occupied Palestinian Territory, particularly in the occupied Gaza Strip, due to the current aggression, and calls upon Israel not to obstruct the process of investigation and to fully cooperate with the mission”.

This is not a mandate to investigage if war crimes occurred. This is a mandate that states its purpose, and the commission’s responsibility is to document the war crimes that were already declared.

UN Watch has a history of the judges, many of whom are—surprise—biased against Israel.

Christine Chinkin signed a letter dated January 11, 2009, which appeared in The Times, stating: “Israel’s bombardment of Gaza is not self-defence – it’s a war crime.”

The jury is already in. Israel is going to be accused of war crimes by a UN commission. And they’re releasing the report sometime during the ten Days of Awe, just for a little extra added insult.

The UN decided the defendant was guilty as charged before examining a single fact. And so the UN’s obsession with Israel continues, and yet another anti-Israel resolution will come of it. Watch for it.

Work accident kills two Hamas terrorists: No word on whether or not they were planting the bombs where the sun doesn’t shine.

Gilad Shalit’s release: Don’t hold your breath. Every time there is a rumor that the release is imminent, Hamas never fails to disappoint. Every time an Israeli says they will not pay too high a price for Shalit’s remains release, Hamas says without that price, there will be no release. And may I say: Bastards.

Arms and the Russians: Time magazine is reporting that Israel was behind the hijacking of a Russian ship in July—the one that the Russians say was filled with timber, and that two sources so far have said were filled with missiles heading for Iran. This is the second source to say that the ship was hijacked by Israel. One of those sources is a Russian journalist. Hmmm. Update: Ynet says the Russians hijacked the ship themselves. No wonder they told the EU source to shut up.

No joking about The One: Time magazine noticed how wussy comedians are regarding making jokes about Obama. Yeah, we kind of noticed that while he was on the campaign trail. Jokes? Obama? Sacrilege!

Don’t let facts get in the way of my blood libel! The Local publishes an article by a Jewish doctor explaining why the Aflonbadet charge of organ harvesting is not just wrong, but medically impossible. However, that won’t stop asshats like the Media Monitors Network featuring asshats like this insisting that the IDF prove that it doesn’t kill Palestinians to harvest their organs. Honest Reporting sums up the aftermath.

Egypt kills another African, world ignores another non-Israeli-caused death in Gaza. Double standard? The deuce you say!

Ew. Ew. Ew. Okay, Madonna is at least a decent singer. But Justin Timberlake and Madonna? What is Israeli being punished for now?

Hamas’ pre-emptive strike at the UN See if you can follow this: Hamas is protesting to the UN that it can’t teach about the Holocaust in UN-sponsored classes in Gaza. The UN is saying, “Huh? We’re not teaching it.” Hamas then says, “Well, you’re about to, so don’t.” The UN says, “No comment.” Um—what? Of course, the UN will cave. Watch for it.

Madonna—Bibi. Bibi—Madonna. Madonna’s going to meet with Bibi Netanyahu and Tzipi Livni while she’s touring Israel. Concerts, Kabbala, and Knesset. She’s a busy girl, is Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone.

If only American prosecutors were this fair-minded: Olmert’s been indicted. I’d sure like to see some crooked American politicians get the same treatment (yeah, I’m talking about you, Richardson). Meantime, geez, Israel, can you get your politicians to stop stealing and bribing and doing all those illegal things? I mean, geez. At least we don’t have all that many presidents getting caught.

World’s tiniest violin orchestra, please: Security prisoners in Israel are getting canned food for Ramadan, instead of home-cooked meals. All together now: Awwww. Here’s a thought: Perhaps if you hadn’t taken part in terrorist attacks, you wouldn’t be suffering in jail during the holiday.

Gee, ya think? A commentary on CNN has a keen grasp of the obvious: Obama is losing the centrists. Hm. Take a far-left agenda, try to slam it through in spite of polls stating that Americans do not want nationalized health care, government takeover of the auto industry, or even a massive bank bailout, and what do you think is going to happen? Obama pretended to be a centrist during the election, thus hoodwinking millions of people who refused to look at his voting record. Now the mask is off, the emperor has no clothes, yadda yadda, etc., etc., and the result is Obama’s poll numbers dropping almost as fast as the stock market.

What if Chappaquiddick happened today? Duh. Kennedy’s political career would have died with Mary Jo Kopechne.