It would be funny if it weren’t so serious: The IDF caught a Palestinian would-be suicide bomber and eight pipe bombs. How did they catch him? The wires sticking out of his clothing gave him away. Thank God for stupid terrorists.

No, really, Hamas is moderating, we swear it: Sure, they’re willing to make peace with Israel. Hell, even the AP is reporting the contrary:

Hamas’ prime minister in Gaza says the anti-Israeli militant group will never give up its arms, its territory or its claims on Jerusalem on behalf of the Palestinians.

Best part of the story? The last graf, which, of course, is the one that gets cuts from most World News sections of your local paper:

But not heard was “Kill the Jews!” a slogan used by ultraconservatives three days earlier upon Haniyeh’s arrival.

Why isolation won’t work: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is on a four-nation South American tour. The Monroe Doctrine is called for here, especially as his first stop is Venezuela. That’s the country whose leader, Hugo Chavez, says we’ve been giving South American leaders cancer. It is the most awesome weapon since the Zionist Death Ray that killed Yasser Arafat.

Not my grandfather’s religion: I don’t care what you say, rioting is not the part of Orthodox Judaism that I learned about growing up. No excuse. No excuse. NO excuse.

Why does Israel bother to keep its words when terrorists don’t keep theirs? The second part of the Gilad Shalit prisoner release deal went off as usual, with Palestinians attacking the IDF in gratitude. I’d have told them “Seeya!” and kept the terrorists in prison. Hamas doesn’t keep its word about not firing rockets. Just once, I’d like to see Israel tell them to go piss off, deal’s off. Or at least keep the ones involved in terror.

The awesomeness of the Arab Spring in one photo: This is what Arab democracy looks like. Especially for women. I would like to point out that in spite of the problems with religious Jews not wanting to sit near women on a bus, Israel has never had a state-run organization treat its women like this. Or execute them for witchcraft. Or send them back into a burning school for not having their heads covered. Yeah, that Muslim ERA Watch category is going to keep on getting bigger here.

Of course they do: The Haredi are asking religious millionaires to fund a private bus line so they don’t have to look at women when they ride the bus. Again, not the Judaism my grandfather taught me. I wonder what these guys would have done during the Exodus. Probably told Miriam to stop playing on her timbrels and the women to stop singing.

Think Facebook will delete this page? A Saudi cleric is offering $100,000 to anyone who kidnaps an Israeli soldier. Why? Because a Jewish family is offering a reward for the capture of the Palestinian terrorist who murdered their relative. The morality of the Saudi cleric here is nonexistent. Because of course, trying to catch a murderer is just like trying to catch a soldier to trade for that murderer’s freedom. Bastard.

Gee, ya think they’ll need to? The IDF is revisiting the protocol that covers the kidnapping of Israeli soldiers. Here’s an idea: How about the death penalty for terrorism? Include both the ones that carry out the attacks and the ones that knowingly transport and aid them, and you’ll have far fewer Palestinians in prison.

These nations are not our friends: Russia and China are trying to stop the U.S. from revealing intelligence that proves the Iranians are trying to create nuclear weapons. If the intel goes public, the UN is going to be forced to act, right? (Stop laughing now. No, really, you can stop laughing.) Good to know that China and Russia are truly interested in world peace. Because that’s why they’re in the UN, right? Can we stop throwing our tax dollars into that black hole now?

But at least they’re not using Zionist tents: Turks are camping out in the cold because Turkey turned down help from other nations (especially Israel). They’re pleading for tents. Luck for them, private Israeli groups are bringing aid. Better than you, Erdogan. Every last member of that group is better than you.

The ransoming of another prisoner; the start of a new reality: Israel has set the standard, and now they’re getting back Ilan Grapel, who was jailed on bogus charges of spying for Egypt, for 25 Egyptians who were jailed on actual charges. None of them were for terrorism-related offenses, but still—Israel just put a big, bright sign on its back saying “SUCKER!” for prisoner exchanges. Watch for Israelis around the world to be kidnapped now.

Putting the lie to the demographic issue: Israel’s 2010/2011 census statistics are in. I don’t think they really need to worry about demographics.

According to the CBS, in the passing year Israel’s Jewish population grew by 1.7%, the Arab population by 2.5% and other sectors by 1.7%. The Muslim population rose by 2.7%, the Christian grew by 0.9% while the Druze population rose by 1.8%.

Of course, when most people raise the demographics issue, they talk about the West Bank and Gaza. Gaza is no longer occupied, and the statistics are based on Palestinian lies to begin with. People like Jimmy Carter take the lies at face value, but then, he hates Israel and no longer even attempts to hide it.

Speaking of anti-Semites: Did you hear the one where John Mearsheimer said, over and over again, that it wasn’t Jews he had a problem with, it was Zionists? Yeah, he’s a big, fat liar.

Peaceful, non-violent Palestinian resistance kills Israeli man and baby: People keep saying that the Palestinian “protests” are nonviolent. And yet, two Israelis died on Friday—the result of stones thrown at their vehicle. And it’s pretty certain that the Palestinians made sure they were dead.

Saudi ERA watch: Saudi women are going to be allowed to join the political process. But they still won’t be able to drive. Starting in 2015, they will be allowed to vote and run for office. And by “office” we mean “Shura Council”, the council that the kleptocrats in charge get to ignore, what with their being kings and princes and such. Everyone’s making a big deal of this. Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it.

Barn door, horse: The Russian foreign minister says Iran should stop centrifuge production. Really? NOW you say that? Really? (cf: Russian participation in building the effing nuclear plants in the first place.)

Egypt could be expected to aid flotillas into Gaza and to make it much easier for arms shipments and other deliveries to enter Gaza. Israel would then likely need to retake the Gaza border with Egypt and/or would need to place more troops on that border than ever before. Israel would additionally need to dramatically increase its military strength all along the Egyptian border because Egyptian troops would not be trusted to prevent incursion by militants, even if they could be trusted not to participate or directly aid in the incursions. Obviously, all previous agreements between Israel and Egypt would be in question either officially or unofficially.

The Palestinian Authority faces the possibility that its greatest supporter, Egypt, would suddenly become a supporter of its arch enemy, Hamas. The PA has been holding “We love Mubarak” rallies throughout the West Bank. Suddenly the PA’s best ally will be Israel. *I guess that I shouldn’t say this publicly because the PA would then be accused of being traitors to the Arab cause. Israel must be a hated enemy and the cause of all evil.

Jordan would have its best allies (Egypt and America) fomenting rebellion within its borders. It is almost a certainty that Jordan’s rhetoric regarding Israel in the months ahead will be much more hostile than it has previously been. This will be so as to avoid being accused of being a friend of Israel. Meanwhile, the Palestinian Authority’s leadership all have applied for and received Jordanian citizenship. This, just in case Jordan turns into a Palestinian state after all.

Saudi Arabia would face a highly hostile Egypt battling for hegemony in the region that will attempt to foment Islamist rebellion in the kingdom at every turn. Worse, for the King and his family, is the clear indication that the United States would abandon its close ally at the drop of a hat in favor of a hostile democratic rebellion within its borders.

So, looking at what is actually happening in Egypt, is it any wonder that the Saudis have told the Obama Administration where to place its proverbial oil rig? Is it any wonder that the Saudis have come to the aid of Mubarak, threatening to replace any aid that America would deny, and likely will or are coming to the aid of the leaders in Jordan and Yemen as well? Is it any wonder that America is no longer seen as a friend and supporter, but now as a potential threat for emboldening revolt? It is indeed a wonder that among Egypt’s best friends, among the Palestinian Authority’s best friends, among the Saudi’s best friends, is Israel!

We now look at a Middle East in which the peoples and nations that were/are at war with Israel find common cause with it against Iran, against Political Islam, and against America’s foment of insurrection.

It is indeed a strange new world.

The American team is said to be frustrated and upset at Netanyahu’s dismissal to date of the package, which was drafted by the NSC’s Dennis Ross in close consultation with Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak and Israeli negotiator Yitzhak Molho.

“They’re really upset,” one Washington Middle East hand in close contact with administration officials said Tuesday. “At the end of the day, they made this incredibly good faith effort to keep Bibi at the table.” And Bibi proved as yet unwilling to budge.

“’We put our asses on the line,’” the sense of dismay among the U.S. Middle East team at Netanyahu’s rejection of the U.S. package was described. “’We worked with your defense minister and gave you this amazing deal, all the cover you needed to extend the freeze. And you not only rejected it, but put forward a counterproposal [demanding Palestinian recognition of Israel as a Jewish state] pandering to the right and a stalling tactic.’”

Add to that the complaint of administration water carrier and thumb sucker, Thomas Friedman, that Israel’s acting like a spoiled child.

Aside from the fact that the “counterproposal” should be a premise of any peacemaking, what’s troubling is that there is no other country that seemingly gets singled out with kind of leak or synchronized cajoling.

Last year President Obama asked King Abdullah to offer a confidence building measure to Israel. Abdullah refused. There was no orchestrated outrage parcelled out to reporters and pundits to show the adminstration’s dissatisfactoin with the Saudis.

Now we learn that the administration has decided to reward the Saudi stubbrorness.

Defense industry analysts said the weapons sale is key to U.S. efforts to boost support among Arab allies and counter any threats from Iran. The deal is also seen as a boon for U.S. defense companies as the Pentagon tightens its budget in ways that could curb contracting opportunities.

Boeing makes the F-15, the Apaches, the Little Birds and some of the other equipment. Raytheon makes some of the anti-radar missiles.

“There’s an enormous amount at stake in terms of U.S. foreign policy, credibility in the region, and the health of the aerospace industry,” said Richard Aboulafia, an aerospace industry analyst at the Teal Group in Fairfax. “When you sell combat aircraft you’re also selling a strategic relationship. It is a symbolic commitment to consult on common defense issues, and when you operate the same equipment, that often means joint training and an ongoing military relationship.”

The sale is framed as a good thing (“to counter threats from Iran) and little oppostion is mentioned. (That comes from Rep Weiner.)

If Israel were treated to some sort of positive attention from the administration but was deemed to be obstinate, the critics from within and without the administration would be quoted all over the article. Support for those ungrateful Israelis is uesless, it could only the result of that outsized Jewish influence on politics. But the uncooperative Saudis get a huge weapons package and the hypreventilators are silent. Again, which lobby distorts America’s interests?

Crossposted on Soccer Dad.

Good riddance to a bad scold: Dr. Laura, who converted to Judaism and then back again after she got pissed off at Jews, has left radio because people are upset that she used the n-word on her show. See, here’s the thing I really never understood. Who wants to call up a “therapist” who will yell at you, scold you, and tell you what a jerk you are? I’m so glad she gave up Judaism. She was giving us a bad name.

Cyprus comes through again: Cyprus refused to allow a Lebanese ship to use its waters to head to Gaza. Good for you, Cyprus. Time to start looking for Cypriot products and buying them. By the way, this is the all-female ship. It’s going to be stopped in Cyprus’ waters. This should be interesting.

Arab Deadbeats for Palestine: The Arab states aren’t ponying up to help their poor, poor, oppressed “brothers,” the Palestinians. And so it has ever been. The Palestinian cause is a club to beat Israel with, and a way to keep their peasants from revolting. Paying to relieve their “suffering”? What, are you crazy?

Only 56%? A Peace Index survey shows that 56% of Jewish Israelis think the world is against them. See title.

France expels Roma; UN doesn’t care: Only America and Israel can get in trouble for wanting to crack down on illegal immigrants. Say, kids, what time is it? That’s right. It’s Israeli Double Standard Time! But don’t worry—it only occurs on days that end with a “y”!

Depressing spot-on analysis number one: Barry Rubin on how stupid the British ambassador is for blaming the Hamas problem on Israel. (Okay, he didn’t say “stupid,” but I will, because, well, Master of Juvenile Scorn™ and all that.)

Depressing spot-on analysis number two: Jonathan Spyer on how Iran controls Lebanon, and why Syria will not be leaving the mix anytime soon. (In case you missed it, Baby Assad took a victory lap in Beirut just this week, where the Saudis put their official blessing on the Iran-Syria control of Lebanon. He also said, once again, that the region is heading for war—because Israel refuses to surrender. The March 14 movement? Dead. Hezbullah—and world inaction—killed it. Before blaming Obama for this, remember that George W. Bush didn’t follow up on it, either. By the way, if you’re not on the GLORIA Center‘s mailing list, you should be. And you should also consider contributing to an organization that constantly publishes the side of the story that the mainstream media ignore.

Yeah, but the kids are still going to have to convert if they move to Israel: Chelsea Clinton and her husband stood under a chuppah and were co-married by a rabbi. Before sundown on Shabbat. Way to start a Jewish life, guys! (Two million for a wedding? Wow, it totally pays to be president these days!)

Hamas is training child soldiers: But there will be no outrage from human rights groups, or the UN, about this. Hamas is distributing pictures of their leaders’ children being taught to fire automatic weapons (among other things). I think the course title was”How to kill the Jews.”

Broaching a sensitive subject, President Obama assured the visiting king of Saudi Arabia on Tuesday that he remains committed to closing the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, a continuing source of friction between their governments.
…
Fewer than 20 Saudis remain at Guantanamo Bay, but the prison is a symbol of George W. Bush-era detention policies and is unpopular in the Arab world.
…
With the Middle East peace process at an impasse, officials did not report breaking any new ground ahead of a meeting next Tuesday between Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu. Israeli moves over the last year and a half, including the building of settlements, have been a source of unhappiness for Saudi and other Arab leaders.

Why does it seem like an American newspaper is acting in the place of Saudi Arabia’s public affairs office?

Why should it be important for Washington Post readers to know what’s important to Saudi Arabia?

Americans have a negative view of Saudi Arabia (58% unfavorable; 35% favorable), so Kornblut is providing a valuable service to the monarchy.

She also quotes a former Washington Post Middle East bureau chief, Thomas Lippman, who she classifies as an expert on Saudi Arabia. He is more than that. He is an expert quoted extensively at the Saudi-US relations website, meaning that he’s a Saudi approved expert on the kingdom, hardly someone who is disinterested. (An AIPAC expert would be described as working at the “pro-Israel lobbying group AIPAC,” Lippman gets a pass here.)

And then there’s this:

A year after a reportedly rocky first meeting in Riyadh, Obama and King Abdullah held a brief, joint appearance before reporters in the Oval Office following lunch.

This has a quality of “Other than *that* Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?” “[R]eportedly rocky?” In the run up to his famous Cairo speech to reach out to the Arab world, President Obama asked that the Arab world consider making a gesture to Israel. The response was, “no.”:

On his Middle East tour, Mr. Obama is expected to press the Arab nations to offer a gesture to the Israelis to entice them to accelerate the peace process.

But in his meetings with the Saudi king, he should be prepared for a polite but firm refusal, Saudi officials and political experts say. The Arab countries, they say, believe they have already made their best offer and that it is now up to Israel to make a gesture, perhaps by dismantling settlements in the West Bank or committing to a two-state solution.

“What do you expect the Arabs to give without getting anything in advance, if Israel is still hesitating to accept the idea of two states in itself?” said Mohammad Abdullah al-Zulfa, a historian and member of the Saudi Shura Council, which serves as an advisory panel in place of a parliament.

While not dismissing the possibility of some movement on the peace process, the Saudis say the Arab world made substantial concessions in the Arab Peace Initiative, which was endorsed by a 22-nation coalition during an Arab League summit in Beirut, Lebanon, in 2002. That proposal offered full recognition of Israel in exchange for Israel’s withdrawing to its 1967 borders and agreeing to a “just settlement” to the issue of the Palestinian refugees.

The Saudis are concerned about the potential threat to the coalition should one nation make further concessions on its own. That, they say, could provide the less committed countries a rationale for abandoning the peace initiative, according to officials and regional analysts.

“Rocky” then means that the Saudi king rebuffed the President’s ambitious initiative. Maybe “disastrous” would have been a better modifier.

Finally, left out of the article was King Abdullah’s warm up act:

The Saudi monarch, who met Tuesday Barack Obama in the White House, did not mince his words the recent trip by the French Minister of Defense Hervé Morin to Jeddah. “There are two countries in the world who do not deserve to exist: Iran and Israel,” said King Abdullah, on June 5.

This diatribe against the two designated enemies of Arabia has been confirmed by two French sources, diplomatic and military, in Paris. It is unclear what the reaction of the Minister of Defence was, – he was surrounded by a handful of diplomats and high-ranking officers in the audience with the king, culminating a two-day visit to Saudi Arabia.

In the early 1980′s investigative reporter Steven Emerson was looking into undue influence of foreign governments on American policy. The resulting book, The American House of Saud documented how Saudi wealth bought connections and influence in Washington. Unfortunately that influence is on display not just in the corporate and diplomatic spheres, but in academia and pretty clearly in journalism too.

Crossposted on Soccer Dad.

Yemeni child bride bleeds to death four days after wedding night: Need I say more? Fine. It’s a despicable, despicable thing to marry off children. The article says more than 25% of Yemeni females marry before age 15. It doesn’t say how many die after their wedding night. Now there’s a great religious tradition. And oh yeah—a group of clerics said people who think girls are getting married too young are apostates. So this custom won’t be changing anytime soon.

I guess he should have seen this coming: A Lebanese “psychic” is on death row in Saudi Arabia for practicing witchcraft. Wow, what a great, modern country that is: You can be beheaded for practicing witchcraft, even though there is no such thing as witchcraft. Say, Maureen Dowd, can you write another column on how great and modern Saudi Arabia is compared to Israel?