Jewish conservatives continue to spend significant amounts of effort and money to swing American and Israeli politics to the far right. Most visible is gambling billionaire Sheldon Adelson, whose funding of Israeli media affected the 2009 Israeli election and who is now spending a fortune to equate American “support for Israel” with support for Israel’s far-right wing.

Similarly, William Kristol’s “Emergency Committee for Israel” plays on Jewish fears to garner Republican votes. And Eric Cantor, House minority whip, is one of the most vocal proponents of Tea Party ideology — the same social Darwinism dressed up as American populism that brought us the 2008 financial crisis.

Note that he starts with a false charge, that Adelson is trying to equate American support for Israel with supporting only the Israeli far right. Now that Jay Michaelson has set the false tone, he then goes on to say that those progressive Jews who are saying that conservative Jews are not following “Jewish values” are wrong. Conservatives can be Jewish, too. I know, I know, you’re shocked. And as a Jewish centrist who has shocked her very liberal Jewish friends by voting for George W. Bush and John McCain, it’s nice to know that I’m just as Jewish as the Obama Fan Club in every synagogue. Why, just look at this philosopher’s reasoning process as to what progressives think of people like me:

The second response has been to argue that Jewish conservatives just don’t get it. They’re misreading Jewish history and tradition. They’re traumatized, bigoted or confused. Whatever the reason, it may be that Jewish conservatives are just plain wrong in their interpretation of Jewish tradition.

Relatively few progressives come out and say this directly, because to do so violates a cardinal progressive principle, that of pluralism and toleration. (Of course, conservatives don’t hesitate to make these claims, painting critics of Israel as self-hating Jews, or social progressives as rebels against the Torah.) So, some make a softer claim: that conservatives get it, but get the wrong it. Yes, there are reactionary elements within Judaism, but these are just barnacles stuck onto the side of the Jewish ship. Yes, the Cantors and Kristols of the world can find some nasty Jewish traditions to draw from, but they miss the real point, which is Judaism’s progressive social agenda, or love of peace, or whatever.

Shorter Michaelson: Oh, conservatives. You are so mean. But we, the Noble Progressives, rise above the meanness and give you our kindness, our tolerance, and our condescension.

Except, of course, they don’t. Note the way he started the article. “Some” Jews think this. “Some” Jews think that. He goes on to bash Jews who don’t think like him, and then he brings in the big gun for his backup: Michael Lerner. Yeah, now that’s an authority that all of Judaism considers to be a top Talmudic scholar able to make decisions about who is a Jew. And finally after being informed a dozen times that conservative Jews are wrong, wrong, wrong, we are told this:

I have my approach to Jewish values that allows me to say that Eric Cantor, Sheldon Adelson and William Kristol are wrong — pluralism is not the same as relativism, after all — but what I won’t say is that they are somehow un-Jewish.

Here’s the thing about this expert on Who’s A Jew: He’s a Buddhist.

I think I’ll stop here. ‘Nuff said.

A hack for a hack: Well, Israeli hackers said they’d do it, and they did it. Now Saudi citizens’ (and citizens from other nations) credit information is online for all to see. This is bad all the way around. Escalation sucks.

Gee, I can’t imagine why she’s offended: A Likud minister, who happens to be (in some Jews’ eyes) genderly-challenged, objects to a sign outside a synagogue in Beit Shemesh that asks women to refrain from “chattering” if walking past while services let out. Go figure, a woman doesn’t want to be told to shut up for fear of offending the sensibilities of men. And the worst part of this? The sign’s been up for 10 years.

Iran isn’t going to like this at all: India and Israel are getting closer.

Spreading lies and misinformation, that’s what Time Magazine’s good for: Karl Vick is doubling down on his insistence that Hamas is moderating. Here’s what he wrote a couple of days ago:

In recent weeks, however, as the rival factions have sought to reconcile, Hamas chief Khaled Mashaal has said the organization will put aside military means in favor of unarmed “popular” resistance, saying it’s the method all factions can agree on.

Yeah, not so much.

How dare you call yourself a Hareidi, God-fearing Jew? Your despicable actions are diametrically opposed to Judaism. You are a thug and a hooligan whose conduct, in the words of the statement from Agudath Israel of America “is beyond the bounds of decent, moral – Jewish! – behavior.”

How dare you put us in a position where we need to state loud and clear that we condemn your loathsome actions. We do not share the same theology; we resent having any association with you that necessitates our stark denunciation.

Read it in full. Aish.com is my go-to place when I need to do religious research. It is not Judaism Lite. And while you’re there, check out this wonderful story about the religious rabbi who came home to find his house covered in Christmas decorations by his kind-hearted but unknowing Christian domestic. Compare and contrast: Judaism is truly the religion of tolerance.

Get them before they get you: Israel took out some more terrorists. For kicks and giggles, check out the AP and NY Times versions. The Times says that the Gaza offensive “killed 1300 people”. The AP still goes with the same boilerplate: “killed some 1,400 Palestinians, including hundreds of civilians”, even though Hamas admitted that they lied about how many civilians were killed.

One for fisking: Think I’ll take a stab at this article later, but boy, can the CSM slant against Israel or what? Just a taste:

Although Hamas continues to reject Israel’s existence, it has attempted to keep a tense peace with Israel by trying to rein in rocket fire from more radical groups in the Gaza Strip, The New York Times reports. The efforts mean little to some Israeli military officials.

“We shoot when we’re being shot at,” one security official told Reuters Friday. “It’s clear that Hamas does not have an interest in fanning the flames at this time, but it’s not dousing them either.”

The rest of the article talks about how Khaled Mashaal was lying when he said Hamas is trying to stop the rocket fire. And yet, the reporter uses the words “The efforts mean little to some Israeli military officials.” Gee. I wonder why they’re not impressed with words that say the rocket fire will stop when, in fact, the rockets keep falling? Go figure. Damned Israelis, always against peace with terrorists!

The awesome feminism of Islamic law: Iran is going to execute a woman for adultery. Only they’re not going to stone this one, they’re going to hang her. Don’t you infidels get how merciful they are? I just love hearing people tell me that Sharia law isn’t nearly as bad as we make it out to be. You know, the one that says that a woman’s opinion in court is worth half that of a man, and the one that allows men to have multiple wives but not women to have multiple husbands–awesome equality. Just breathtaking. Ask any Saudi woman.

Turkey massacres Kurdish civilians: Turkey bombed a group of civilians in northern Iraq, killing 35 of them, most of the teenagers smuggling fuel into Turkey. And not very many people care. Bet you didn’t even know they did it. Imagine the outrage if Israel had hit 35 civilians while bombing a Hamas terror target. Let’s review: Turkey violated the border of a sovereign nation to stop a terrorist group from killing its own civilians. Sound familiar? Of course it does. Will there be a world outcry? Don’t make me laugh. Double standard much? Always.

The UN: We honor dictators, too! The United Nations lowered its flags out of “respect” for Kim Jong-il’s death. I don’t know how they manage it, but they managed to lower my respect for them even more. Not that I have any left. Its sort of a “divide by infinity” thing now.

And let the “cycle of violence” accusations begin: The IDF hit a car full of terrorists (alas, only killing one of them) and rockets hit Israel from Gaza.

It’s the annual Bethlehem Clergy Battle: Now, with video! Let’s hear again how it’s Israel that’s screwing up Christian holy sites in Bethlehem. Riiiiight.

Awesome news for Egypt’s Christians: The Islamists who will be ruling Egypt won’t even allow their people to send Christmas greetings to their Christian countrymen. Say goodbye to Egypt’s Copts, who, by the way, are the original inhabitants of Egypt. Their Arab Muslim cousins were the invaders. You won’t, however, hear any sympathy for the native Egyptians being forced out of their homeland by the invading Arabs. Because that goes against the narrative. Now, if they were Palestinians, and the invaders had been Jews, well–that’s a different story.

There hasn’t been a Christmas tree in Gaza City’s main square since Hamas pushed the Palestinian Authority out of Gaza in 2007 and Christmas is no longer a public holiday.

Imad Jelda is an Orthodox Christian who runs a youth training centre in Gaza City. With unemployment hovering at 23%, he has seen young Christian men leave to study and work abroad in their droves. “People here do not celebrate Christmas anymore because they are nervous,” Jelda said. “The youth in particular have a fear inside themselves.”

Let’s compare that to Israel’s Christians, shall we?

In Israel, a higher profile for Christmas
The founders of Neve Shaanan, a neighborhood in southern Tel Aviv, planned their streets in the shape of a seven-branched candelabra – a symbol of their Jewish faith. Ninety years later, the streets are full of Christmas decorations, reflecting a flowering of Christianity in Israel’s economic and cultural capital.

What! Christians in a Jewish city! Why, that’s intolerable! What are the Israelis doing?

On the Saturday before Christmas, the center of festivities was the city’s central bus station, a hulking seven-story maze of concrete. A plastic green fir spewed fake snow from its top in a shop near the main entrance.

Christmas carols blasted from storefronts full of rice and noodles. Giggly young Filipino women took photographs with a Santa Claus figure to send to their friends and parents.

Allowing the celebrations to go on, apparently. But wait. As this is an AP story, there must be something negative being done or said.

For some, the holiday punctuates the divide between parents and children.

Nancy Domingo, who arrived in Israel 14 years ago from the Philippines, said her eldest daughter did not plan on eating traditional Filipino Christmas food. The seven-year-old, like the other children of migrant workers here, has grown up steeped in Israeli Jewish culture. The girl speaks Hebrew, learns about Jewish holidays in school and is familiar with Jewish dietary laws, such as the ban on pork.

“If I cook pork she won’t eat it because in school they tell her pork is not clean,” Domingo said. “She doesn’t know Christmas, only Hanukkah.”

No! Shocking! The child is voluntarily refusing to eat pork! But wait, the AP did find an Israeli who griped about all the Christmas stuff going on in his city.

Not all Israelis are pleased to see the rising profile of Christmas, which to some symbolizes religious assimilation and to others a religion with a history of hostility to Jews. Moshe Avisar, 67, on his way back to Jerusalem, said the decorations in the bus station bothered him.

“I go to the Central Bus Station and I don’t feel like I’m in Israel, even though it’s my country,” he said. Of the decorations, he said, “I don’t want to see this in the Jewish state. Then all the Jewish people get carried away with it and start celebrating too.”

Ouch! Someone call the UN Human Rights Committee. Because of course, if there is any statement to be made about the suppression of Christians in the Middle East, it will be made about Israel–not about Gaza, or Egypt, or Saudi Arabia–where celebrating your faith and your holidays can get you jailed or killed. In Israel, well, an old Jewish man is going to complain about you.

As for the rest of the media, well, the AP had a four-paragraph story about the Roman Catholic patriarch’s concern for the Middle East’s Christians. (Yes, four paragraphs.) And this is the last one, that gets cut for the three-paragraph “World Briefs” section of your paper:

Since the overthrow of Egypt’s President Hosni Mubarak, Muslim extremists have torched churches and attacked Copts in the worst violence against the Christian community there in decades. Twal’s territory does not include Egypt.

As always, it’s Israeli Double Standard Time. Negative stories about Christians in Israel? Yeah, we got those. Negative stories about the discrimination against Christians throughout the Middle East?

[crickets]

Not my grandfather’s religion: I don’t care what you say, rioting is not the part of Orthodox Judaism that I learned about growing up. No excuse. No excuse. NO excuse.

Why does Israel bother to keep its words when terrorists don’t keep theirs? The second part of the Gilad Shalit prisoner release deal went off as usual, with Palestinians attacking the IDF in gratitude. I’d have told them “Seeya!” and kept the terrorists in prison. Hamas doesn’t keep its word about not firing rockets. Just once, I’d like to see Israel tell them to go piss off, deal’s off. Or at least keep the ones involved in terror.

The awesomeness of the Arab Spring in one photo: This is what Arab democracy looks like. Especially for women. I would like to point out that in spite of the problems with religious Jews not wanting to sit near women on a bus, Israel has never had a state-run organization treat its women like this. Or execute them for witchcraft. Or send them back into a burning school for not having their heads covered. Yeah, that Muslim ERA Watch category is going to keep on getting bigger here.

Of course they do: The Haredi are asking religious millionaires to fund a private bus line so they don’t have to look at women when they ride the bus. Again, not the Judaism my grandfather taught me. I wonder what these guys would have done during the Exodus. Probably told Miriam to stop playing on her timbrels and the women to stop singing.

“We represent a moderate and fair party,” el-Erian said of his Freedom and Justice Party. “We want to apply the basics of Shariah law in a fair way that respects human rights and personal rights,” he said, referring to Islamic law.

Sure they do. Egyptian Christians? Hey, they’re just going to have to wear the hijab outside the comfort of their own home. And not build any new churches. I totally believe the Brotherhood when they say they’re all about moderate, fair Islamism.

“We respect all people in their choice of religion and life,” he said.

Really?

Muslim Brotherhood spokesmen, as well as Palestinian guest speakers, made explicit calls for Jihad and for liberating the whole of Palestine. Time and again, a Koran quote vowing that “one day we shall kill all the Jews” was uttered at the site. Meanwhile, businessmen in the crowd were urged to invest funds in Jerusalem in order to prevent the acquisition of land and homes by Jews.

Throughout the event, Muslim Brotherhood activists chanted: “Tel Aviv, Tel Aviv, judgment day has come.”

That’s a perfect example of the respect of the Islamists for people who choose Judaism as their religion and life. The Egyptian people are not far behind them, thanks to decades of anti-Semitic broadcasts and news articles by the Mubarak-controlled media. Does anyone else remember “Horseman without a horse“, the 30-part Egyptian series based on the infamous forgery, the Protocols of the Elders of Zion? It was a 30-part series shown during the month of Ramadan, when it would have its biggest television audience of the year due to the holiday. And it was shown in spite of protests to the Mubarak government, which utterly controlled the media.

So sure, AP. Go ahead, publish your uncritical acceptance of the Muslim Brotherhood’s lies. What would this blog be without the AP to kick around?

His friends all decided to choose the row behind me this morning. I was standing on the end of my pew, and I watched them file in, and then said, “Boys, you don’t want to sit there. I really enjoy my worship. I am so going to turn around and glare at you when you start whispering…”

They all paused for a moment, then they stood up in unison and trooped over to the next section of pews.

Heh.

I spoke to a few of them at the Oneg and explained that I wasn’t really mean, but I really did like worshipping without distractions. One of them said they were happy that I told them beforehand, because it cut down on problems later. Double heh.

The terrorists are high-fiving: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hezbollah and Hamas are congratulating each other on once more “defeating” the Zionist enemy. And yet, Israel is still there, with that great big army, every time the terrorists get too confident and attack again. Meantime, they’re cancelling speeches over the news that their favorite killers will not be freed. The sound that you do not hear are me making sympathetic noises about that news. They’re going to have to go through with it now, or face rebellion in Gaza. They’ve been out celebrating there for days.

Check the air for flying porkers: What? An unbiased Reuters news article on Israel? My heart… I can’t take the shock… Oy.

No, Copts threw themselves under our trucks: The Egyptian military is denying that any Christian protesters were killed by their forces. Nope. None died of gunshot wounds, none were run over by speeding military vehicles. It’s a surprise as to who killed them. Oh. Wait. Of course, they blame “foreign elements.” Like that Ilan Grappel guy, whatta spy! They’re making up new charges for him as they go along. Watch for a big prisoner exchange for Ilan, too. Say, Israelis? Do yourselves a favor and stay the hell out of Egypt.

Islamist attacking mosques: And no worldwide condemnation. Because it’s not like they were Jews firebombing a mosque or anything.