Yourish.com

03/08/2010

Back home, tired, and there’s work to do

Filed under: Life, Movies, Pop Culture — Meryl Yourish @ 6:54 pm

I am back in my home sweet home, with my cats yowling for attention in the background. I’m currently cleaning up a mess on the blog. I have a ton of real work to do, and though I had a great weekend, I will be busy the next few days. Posting may be light.

I do have some random thoughts though.

Alice in Wonderland was brilliant. If you liked Edward Scissorhands, you will love Tim Burton’s version of Alice. I want to see it again. And again. And again.

The Neil Patrick Harris song opening the Oscars was mean, nasty, stupid, and unfunny. Here’s a suggestion for the Oscar writers: Cut the opening number. And get rid of the dance numbers. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

So glad Kathryn Bigelow won the Oscar for Best Director. Ditto Sandra Bullock, because she’s one of my favorites. (Funny speech!)

Now I have four more movies to see: Crazy Heart, Avatar, Hurt Locker, and District 9 (not in that order). Plus, I have to see Alice in Wonderland again. Oh, and reread the books. I didn’t catch enough of the references because it’s been too long since I read them. I got bored. Burton made me interested again. Probably because he wove a narrative that doesn’t exist in the novels, and made it far more interesting and a little less a compilation of bizarre and disparate scenes. I really liked the narrative. It made the story so much better. That, and Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp, and a fantastic cast, the special effects—I kept wondering “How did he do that?” every time I saw the red queen’s bulbous head—I highly recommend the film.

Back to the usual stuff later.

02/12/2010

Snowy Calvinism

Filed under: Blasts from the past, Pop Culture — Tags: — Soccerdad @ 5:00 am

In honor of the east coast’s recent deluge of snow, Transterrestial Musings points out a relevant collection of Calvin and Hobbes cartoons.

Some people were inspired to follow Calvin’s lead. I suppose I could do without the red food coloring. And here are step by step instructions how to create your own real life Calvin snow drama.

What precipitated that last bit of inspired madness was the recent interview of Bill Watterson, in which he said, “It’s always better to leave the party early.”

Crossposted on Soccer Dad.

02/11/2010

Time out from world events

Filed under: Music, Pop Culture — Meryl Yourish @ 11:00 am

I am truly not up for all the bad news of the world posting.

I could tell you that I cannot for the life of me remove a tune from “Annie” out of my head. It’s been there for weeks. (“Little Girls.” Particularly the part that goes “Some women are dripping with diamonds/Some women are dripping with pearls/Lucky me, lucky me, look at what I’m dripping with… little girls.”

Sigh.

I saw Annie on Broadway with Andrea McArdle. I was nineteen or twenty. Actually, except for “Tomorrow,” the soundtrack is pretty decent. But I got rid of it a long time ago, when I got rid of my LPs.

I would very much like to get rid of the tune from my head, but it refuses to go away. Dammit.

02/10/2010

Wednesday snow snarks

The blame-Israel reflex strikes again: Of course the PA will respond to charges of corruption and video evidence of sexual misconduct by PA officials as an Israeli conspiracy to make them look bad. Because that’s what people will believe.

Remember, it’s anti-Zionism, not anti-Semitism: Even when students yell “Kill the Jews” and chant “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free” while trying to attack the Israeli foreign minister. Because that doesn’t mean to destroy Israel, you see. It’s just to “reinstate” the fictional nation of Palestine.

I said it was anti-Zionism, aren’t you listening? Leon Wieseltier accuses Andrew Sullivan of anti-Semitism in this TNR piece. Funny, back when I first started blogging, Sully was my hero and I was pretty mad at Wieseltier over this TNR piece, where he declared that Jew hatred today is nothing like the 1930s, as some believe. I wonder if he still feels that way after watching people like Sullivan descend into reflexive anti-Jewish conspiracies.

It’s got a beat you can dance to: Retracto the Correction Alpaca has a theme song. (If you have to ask, you haven’t been paying attention to Breitbart.) Seriously, it’s a pretty good song.

Going back to bed now.

02/04/2010

The internet is made of cats

Filed under: Cats, Humor, Pop Culture — Meryl Yourish @ 9:04 pm

New to me. Funny as hell.

01/17/2010

Danny Glover is a bigger idiot than Pat Robertson

Filed under: Juvenile Scorn, Pop Culture — Meryl Yourish @ 2:36 pm

Just when you think you can’t find someone even dumber in Hollywood, out comes this gem from Danny Glover:

Actor Danny Glover says the earthquake in Haiti is a result of global warming. Glover told GRITtv that it could have happened to any of the Caribbean island nations: “They are all in peril because of global warming.”

Then, he lamented the failure of the climate summit in Copenhagen. As a result of that failure, he says, “this is what happened.”

So not only is global warming at fault, but Gaia was so pissed off at us for refusing to get on board with the Copenhagen summit that she killed 100,000 people in Haiti who had absolutely nothing to do with the summit. Wow. Would someone please check this moron for Alzheimer’s?

Hey, Danny: Good job. You’ve just succeeded in making Pat Robertson look almost sane.

01/13/2010

Idealizing terrorism

Filed under: Hamas, Pop Culture — Tags: — Meryl Yourish @ 9:30 am

The single biggest lie of the Israel Lobby crowd is how being anti-Israel harms a person’s career. You can’t speak out against Israel, the narrative goes, without suffering for it. Never mind that Jimmy Carter, Walt & Mearsheimer, Pat Buchanan, and many others have managed to get richer and richer as they hammer Israel more and more. It’s a given.

And this despicable show in San Francisco exemplifies how easy it is to make money while being anti-Israel and pro-terrorist, apparently. Even the title is offensive: I Heart Hamas.

With the current ongoing conflicts in the Middle East, the threat of global terrorism, and the never-ending negotiations and hostilities between Israelis and Palestinians, its hard not to feel overwhelmed by all of the bad international news. That’s exactly how Jennifer Jajeh feels. And to make matters worse, Jennifer is Palestinian. Well, Palestinian American. Or more precisely: a single, Christian, first generation, Palestinian American woman who chooses to return to her parents’ hometown of Ramallah at the start of the Second Intifada.

Join her on American and Palestinian soil on auditions, bad dates, and across military checkpoints as she navigates the thorny terrain around Palestinian identity. Weaving together humor, slides, pop culture references and live theatre, Jajeh explores how she becomes Palestinian-ized, then politicized and eventually radicalized in a fresh, often funny, searingly honest way.

“I Heart Hamas: And Other Things Im Afraid To Tell You”, recognized by NYTheatre.com as “a fascinating look into a world we don’t often see or hear about”, made its world premiere in 2008 as a part of New York International Fringe Festival. Following strong media praise and audience reception, the play ran for 3 months in San Francisco in Fall 2009 as a co-production with Off-Market Theaters.

A “fresh, often funny” look at the radicalization of a Christian Palestinian. Wow. Can’t wait for it to hit Broadway. And lest you forget, here’s a link to the Hamas charter, which spells out how it will destroy the Jewish state and replace it with an Islamic caliphate—while also blaming Jews for the ills of the world. Yeah, you go heart Hamas, Jennifer. It’s very Christian of you.

01/09/2010

Briefly

Filed under: Gaza, Hamas, Lebanon, Pop Culture, Television, Terrorism — Meryl Yourish @ 10:24 am

He’s Gumby, dammit! Art Clokey, creator of Gumby and Davey and Goliath, died yesterday. I know that Davey and Goliath is Christian proselytizing, but it’s one of the shows from my childhood and I watched it every Saturday morning. Even as a kid, I used to laugh at or ignore the lectures. Far more interesting was imitating Goliath when he said “Davey… I wouldn’t do that, Davey.” (My brother’s name is Dave, so of course, we had to bust his chops.) Saturday morning TV included Gumby and Pokey, of course. And a whole lot more.

20 more Captain Underpants bombers: Well, this is just ducky. There are twenty more Muslim men who will be wearing bomb-laden underpants and trying to get past airport security. I’m betting that there are not twenty more fathers who will be turning in their sons—and we missed the one who did have a father who tried to stop him.

George Galloway, go home! Apparently, Galloway was not just declared persona non grata by the Egyptians. He was tossed out of Egypt and told never to come back. We will not soon get tired of discussing this. The Viva Palestina whackjobs are all out of the country now. And since Israel won’t let these goons come to Gaza by ship, this effectively ends the Galloway channel of money to Hamas. Thank you, Galloway, for being such an ass that Egypt shut you down, too!

The hummus war: Victory, Israel. Israeli cooks doubled the size of the Guinness record hummus that the Lebanese cooked up earlier this year, and so, the hummus wars continue. You know, if this were the sum total of the war between Israel and Lebanon, I’d be happy to let Lebanon win it. Too bad there’s that little Hezbollah issue in the “Really important wars” list of things in the middle east.

11/26/2009

… and creating a nuisance

Filed under: Lebanon, Pop Culture — Tags: — Soccerdad @ 12:00 pm

Investment scandal damages Hezbollah

And now, his life’s fortune is gone, too, lost along with the money of thousands of other Lebanese who put their faith in a billionaire financier with close ties to Hezbollah.

The investment scheme, which is being called the Lebanese version of the Bernie Madoff scandal, threatens to tarnish the Shiite group’s carefully cultivated image as a pious defender of the masses that is above the corruption endemic in many of Lebanon’s political parties.

How do you tarnish the image of a terrorist group? When they target innocent men, women and children how does embezzlement hurt their image? Isn’t that kind of like, I dunno, littering?

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W’s where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean ‘n’ ugly ‘n’ nasty ‘n’ horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, “Kid, whad’ya get?” I said, “I didn’t get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage.” He said, “What were you arrested for, kid?” And I said, “Littering.” And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, “And creating a nuisance.” And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin’ about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench.

Crossposted on Soccer Dad.

11/24/2009

An early holiday treat

Filed under: Humor, Pop Culture — Meryl Yourish @ 10:42 pm

Via Allahpundit.

11/03/2009

Anti-Semitic religious Catholic hypocrite an out-of-wedlock dad

Filed under: Juvenile Scorn, Pop Culture, Religion — Meryl Yourish @ 3:00 pm

Mel Gibson, the Catholic so religious that he belongs to a sect that refuses to acknowledge Vatican II, had a daughter out of wedlock with his current girlfriend. (His wife of 30 years is divorcing him, another Catholic no-no.) This, of course, is the Mel Gibson who made a film about Jesus and went on a drunken rant about Jews when caught on a DUI.

Actor-director Mel Gibson and his girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, are the new parents of a daughter named Lucia, his spokesman confirmed to CNN.

No other details were released about the baby, who was born Friday at an undisclosed hospital in Los Angeles, California.

Baby Lucia is the eighth child for Gibson, 53, and the second for Grigorieva, 39. Gibson has six sons and a daughter from his marriage to his wife of 30 years, Robyn. The couple filed for divorce in April.

Oh, and they have no plans to get married.

That’s what I like to see. A man who is so religious that he made a whole movie about Jesus, did an enormous amount of Jew-baiting to get the movie publicized, and who apparently can’t seem to follow the teachings of the guy he made the film about because he is so devout. Let’s see, as I’m not Catholic, I’m not up on my mortal sins, but aren’t adultery and fornication pretty high up there on the list?

It truly is Hypocrite Day here at Yourish.com.

11/01/2009

Five Things That Scare me

Filed under: Pop Culture — Meryl Yourish @ 9:05 pm

Normally, I embrace opinions. I traffic in opinions. After all, I’m a blogger. Opinions have been good to yours truly.

But if there’s anything scaring me these days, it’s the blatant use of celebrity opinions with regard to [the correct version, FYI] health care reform. I am appalled at the obviously widespread school of thought among the glitterati that those of us who don’t appear in cheesy horror flicks and bad 1980s TV series care one whit about what actors actually think.

Like Robert Englund, who slams those of us opposed to socialized health care as fearmongerers and liars:

If we’re going to achieve effective health care in this country, we need an honest public discussion based on facts: how do we pay for reform, how will it work, who will be covered?

These are important issues than cannot be solved while lobbyists, pundits and “tea-baggers” are muddying the waters by marketing fear. The only people who should be scared by health care reform are those who make a profit off of other people’s suffering and illness.

And, of course, he has to slam the Tea Party movement, the only truly grassroots political movement in America today, with the sexual insult made popular by a man who has probably done a whole lot of teabagging on his own. But to get back to the parody:

Other things that frighten me:

I’m scared by the enormous amount of chutzpah put out by the Hollywood community—like, the ones who popularized bottled water now freaking out at the number of plastic bottles of water consumed by their fellow Americans.

I’m scared by the celebrity slamming of Soccer Moms and SUVs, even as these people use their private jets, are brought to the studio by limousine (no doubt consuming their top of the line bottled water during the ride there and back), who slam the American working and middle class and then pretend that their own children ever walked to school from their L.A. mansions. (As for the mocking of the Blackberry and GPS—from a Hollywood actor/director/producer? Is he kidding us?)

I’m scared by the ease with which the Hollywood elites embrace the nanny state, and then wonder why children have lost their sense of adventure. It’s because the nanny statists have put so many regulations on what people can do, the outdoors is practically forbidden to the rough-and-tumble kids of yesteryear. You think kids are growing up on the internet? No. They’re growing up with the internet, which is an entirely different concept. But how would Freddy Krueger know anything about kids outside of his own sphere, which is the rarefied air of the Hollywood elite? Real world kids? They’re a whole ‘nother species.

Finally, one thing that’s not scaring me is the way children are managing to be raised quite well without ever knowing there was a scary guy in a mask named Freddy Kreuger, and an actor who conflates his popularity as an Freddy with the conceit that people care what he thinks about things that are not movies.

Cross-posted on Hot Air.

10/23/2009

Soupy Sales: No more pie in the face

Filed under: Pop Culture — Meryl Yourish @ 11:00 am

Soupy Sales died yesterday. A childhood icon is no more.

His greatest success came in New York with “The Soupy Sales Show” — an ostensible children’s show that had little to do with Captain Kangaroo and other kiddie fare. Sales’ manic, improvisational style also attracted an older audience that responded to his envelope-pushing antics.

Sales, who was typically clad in a black sweater and oversized bow-tie, was once suspended for a week after telling his legion of tiny listeners to empty their mothers’ purse and mail him all the pieces of green paper bearing pictures of the presidents.

I used to watch Milton Supman every day. He was a mainstay of my childhood. Now, I guess he’s launching pies at the angels.

09/30/2009

The Polanski case: It’s the consent, stupid

Filed under: Movies, Pop Culture — Meryl Yourish @ 11:00 am

It’s really not difficult. The Polanski case comes down to one thing: Consent.

A 13-year-old girl cannot consent to having sex with a 44-year-old man. In fact, a 13-year-old girl is not old enough to consent to having sex with a 30-year-old, a 20-year-old, a 14-year-old, or even another 13-year-old. It doesn’t matter that Polanski plied the girl with alcohol and drugs. It doesn’t matter that he claims he didn’t know how old she was.

It’s the fact that a 13-year-old child cannot consent to having sex, for the obvious reason that the child is thirteen years old.

It’s reprehensible that Whoopi Goldberg said “not necessarily” to the question “Would I want my 14-year-old daughter having sex with somebody?” The answer should be a plain, simple: No. Absolutely not.

When Anne Applebaum says that the child asked permission to be photographed in the jacuzzi, she implies that that was asking permission for whatever happened next. What happened next was rape. It frankly wouldn’t matter if the child’s mother had been right there and given explicit permission for Polanski to have sex with her daughter—the fact that the child cannot consent still applies.

There is no defense of this case whatsoever. There is no, “Yes, he did a bad thing, BUT” leading into a long-winded treatise on how the poor man has suffered all these years by not being able to come back to America, and is forced to live a life of luxury in Europe.

My heart bleeds.

It’s the consent. A thirteen-year-old child cannot consent to sex. Period.

09/25/2009

Reviewing a few new shows

Filed under: Pop Culture, Television — Tags: — Meryl Yourish @ 12:00 pm

Flash Forward: You know how when Lost premiered, the pilot was so well done, so incredibly gripping, that you knew immediately that ABC had a hit on its hands and that you couldn’t wait for Wednesday to come around?

Yeah, it’s not like that.

Good idea. Lousy execution. I may watch a couple more episodes, but I am not impressed. They’re repeating it tonight if you missed it.

The Good Wife: Julianna Margulies, Christine Baranski, Josh Charles, and the obnoxious kid from Gilmore Girls playing an obnoxious kid on this show—what’s not to like? Actually, this was a very good pilot. Sure, it’s a lawyer show, but it’s a very different twist. This is a woman re-entering the workforce because her husband is in jail on corruption charges, struggling for her job against a kid fresh out of law school and ready to cutthroat his way to the top. And it’s from Ridley Scott! No wonder it’s so good.

Modern Family: The critics are hailing it as the best new comedy of the year. I watched it. Eh. Watched it some more. Okay, that was funny. Watched to the end. Yeah, it’s funny. I think I’ll keep watching.

Cougar Town: Eh. I laughed a bit. It might get funnier. Boy, you can’t watch this show with young kids around, though. When did primetime TV get so adult at 8 p.m.?

And this is the difference between me, and a Judith Warner from the NY Times. I watched the show in the hopes of finding a comedy that would make me laugh. Here’s why she watched it:

I’d watched “Cougar Town” on Wednesday night not because I thought I would like it, not because I was genuinely interested in seeing it, but because I thought I, too, would be able to derive messages from it about the zeitgeist — the pop-culture zeitgeist now permeated with talk of cougars, women over 40 who take up with younger men.

Darn it! I’m just not up on the current pop-culture zeitgeist! How is it that I was cool when I was young, and now I’m so unhip as to be unable to keep up with the New York City zeitgeist-seeking crowd?

Then again, I’ve lived in the ‘burbs most of my life. Uncool. Uncool. (And they wonder why we call them “the media elite.”)

Vampire Diaries: Okay, I admit it. I was bored. It was on. I watched it twice. I did not watch the third episode. Seen all I needed to see to know that it’s basically another vampire romance teen saga, and, well, ew. Vampires must be staked. No exceptions. Wait. Angel. He’s the only exception, because he has a soul. Everyone else (including Spike), boom.

Castle: Yay, it’s back, and it’s still good. It’s the only crime show I’m interested in, and that’s because they don’t generally cut up bodies and try to figure out how they died.

Looking forward to: V. The new series looks excellent. Dollhouse: Premiere tonight. My DVR’s been set since last season ended. Which is a good thing, because it’s on while I’m in synagogue. Bummer that Terminator didn’t make it.

09/16/2009

Two sad losses: Mary Travers and Henry Gibson

Filed under: Pop Culture, Television — Meryl Yourish @ 9:46 pm

So sad. But I didn’t know they were both in their seventies!

Mary Travers of Peter, Paul, and Mary is gone. No more Puff the Magic Dragon. Or any of the sixties protest songs that I still love to hear, even though I no longer want to march on Washington after listening to them.

And Henry Gibson, that stalwart of the Laugh-In era, and his poems. And his late career on Boston Legal.

I wish they’d release Laugh-In on DVD. I’d buy it.

08/31/2009

Monday SNB

Filed under: Anti-Semitism, Hamas, Holocaust, Israel, News Briefs, Pop Culture — Tags: , , — Meryl Yourish @ 7:00 am

Hamas getting confident; shelling Israel again: More shells into Israel. But when mortars are fired from Gaza into Israel, the mainstream media doesn’t pick it up until Israel fires back.

Hamas’ pre-emptive strike at the UN See if you can follow this: Hamas is protesting to the UN that it can’t teach about the Holocaust in UN-sponsored classes in Gaza. The UN is saying, “Huh? We’re not teaching it.” Hamas then says, “Well, you’re about to, so don’t.” The UN says, “No comment.” Um—what? Of course, the UN will cave. Watch for it.

Madonna—Bibi. Bibi—Madonna. Madonna’s going to meet with Bibi Netanyahu and Tzipi Livni while she’s touring Israel. Concerts, Kabbala, and Knesset. She’s a busy girl, is Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone.

08/27/2009

Thursday SNB

Filed under: Iran, Lebanon, News Briefs, Pop Culture — Tags: , , , , — Meryl Yourish @ 7:00 am

He will fart in your general direction: Nicholas Sarkozy is threatening “severe” new sanctions on Iran if it doesn’t stop enriching uranium and trying to get the bomb. Yeah, like we haven’t heard that before.

No! Not the dreaded letter to the IAEA! Iran has gotten the non-aligned nations to sign onto a letter to the IAEA pushing for a ban on attacks on nuclear plants. Hm. This is a tough one. Israel is not a signatory to the NPT, but it is a member of the IAEA. But then again, the UN General Assembly, under which the IAEA was formed, is a powerless bunch of stuffed shirts with a proven anti-Israel agenda. Israel: Fear the letter! (And by the way, wussy little Iran, after threatening Israel in so many different ways, is running to the UN for protection. Baby.)

The obligatory “Shalit deal is imminent” mention: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We keep hearing that, and yet, Gilad Shalit is still not released. And while some of the things I’m reading do seem to be leading to an actual release, well, I’ll wait until I see some results first.

Hezbullah ascendant: Funny, I thought Hezbullah lost the election, and yet, Sa’ad Hariri, whose father was killed by Syria—which sponsors Hezbullah—says they’re going to be part of the government whether Israel likes it or not. (And a big nyah-nyah to you!) Hokay. Just remember, Israel has let Lebanon know that if Hezbullah attacks again, since they’re now part of the government, it will be considered an act of war by Lebanon. Which is why Lebanese villagers are turning on Hezbullah and throwing them out of their villages.

She was leader of the pack, and now she’s gone: Ellie Greenwich, the songwriter who gave us some of the most memorable pop tunes of the 60s, died yesterday. What would this world be without Da Doo Ron Ron and Do Wah Diddy Diddy? Not to mention Be My Baby and The Look of Love. Let’s all of us take a moment to let our hearts stand still (Da Doo Ron Ron Ron Da Doo Ron Ron).

08/18/2009

Tuesday Snark News Briefs

Filed under: Israel, Pop Culture, Television, Terrorism, The One, World — Tags: , — Meryl Yourish @ 11:00 am

Britain’s FM: Hey, terrorism can be useful sometimes! He was talking about South Africa, not the U.K., so it must be okay, right? (And of course, he probably doesn’t shed a tear for any Jews killed in terrorist attacks. What do you expect from a guy who’s father was a Marxist?

Netanyahu caves: There is a freeze on all new settlement construction. Oh, and the reason he’s freezing construction? He’s hoping to get Europe and America to recognize Israeli sovereignty over Jerusalem. Because they’ve all indicated that that’s what they want to see happen, right? Epic fail, Bibi. Epic fail.

Time for the latest round of Iranian running out the clock: Iran says it’s ready for nuclear negotiations without preconditions. I think this makes the tenth or eleventh time they’ve said they’d talk about their nukes with the west. But this time, they really mean it. Honest. You betcha! (And watch the Obama spin machine on this one. It should be a laff-riot.)

Death at Disney World! Here’s news you almost never see: Three workers have died at Disney World so far this year. Wow, the Disney PR flacks have really dwindled in talent. Oh, wait—three people died at Disney world so far this year? And this is the first you’re hearing about it? I stand corrected. (Actually, I read about the monorail crash. But I really have no desire to visit Disney World ever again. Crowds. Ugh.)

But the stimulus is working! Eric Cantor sponsored a job fair in my neck of the woods yesterday. The Times-Dispatch says more than 2,000 people showed. Cantor’s office says it was 3,200. I’m not at all surprised. We lost Circuit City, had massive layoffs at places like Capital One and Genworth, and are also affected by the overall dreadful economy.

Dancing with the exterminator:
Ew. Tom Delay is going to be on “Dancing with the Stars.” Mind you, I’ve never really cared for the show, watched it for, at best, a minute at a time, and don’t care at all about the show. But ew—Tom Delay? Tom “the Exterminator” Delay? Now that’s reaching. And a little bit gross. (I don’t care how far to the center I move, I will always loathe Tom Delay.)

08/09/2009

Paris Jackson: Who’s the baby daddy?

Filed under: Pop Culture — Tags: — Meryl Yourish @ 5:22 pm

Forget your troubles. We’ve found Paris Jackson’s real baby daddy, and it’s—Oliver!

WHO’S the daddy? Michael Jackson’s dearest friend Mark Lester looks at the King of Pop’s daughter Paris and is convinced HE is.

In an astonishing interview, Jacko’s long term pal confessed to the News of the World that he secretly donated sperm to help the singer have children.

[...]The plan for Mark to donate sperm to Jackson – whose hits include The Girl Is Mine-came in a series of incredibly candid phone calls. The pair had been the closest of friends after immediately bonding when Jackson first invited Mark to his room in London’s Montcalm Hotel for a meeting in 1981.

It’s so stupid, I think I believe him.

Poor kids. Handicapped even before they were conceived, if you ask me. Normal life? Never.

08/07/2009

Friday SNB

Filed under: Israel, Movies, News Briefs, Pop Culture, palestinian politics — Tags: , , — Meryl Yourish @ 9:00 am

(That’s Snark News Briefs, to those of you who haven’t been paying attention.)

Fatah blames Israel for Arafat’s AIDS: Not really. Fatah refuses to even consider the idea that their dead (and unmourned) leader did not die because of Israeli death rays, or Mossad poisons. Because it makes them far more popular to be able to blame Israel. And oh, hey—this kind of puts the lie to the people who insist that Fatah is moderating, doesn’t it?

Doggone it! My dad was not a dog! The Arabs have yet another grievance against America: A movie that insults Anwar Sadat by naming a dog after him. I swear, you simply couldn’t make this stuff up without having bullshit called on you. Don’t these people have anything else to do but get outraged over stupid things? I guess not, considering Egypt is a nation that lacks freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and a freely elected government. And then, you get a breath of fresh air when you least expect it:

Meanwhile, Sadat’s nephew Talaat Sadat reacted differently to the movie, and told Egyptian newspaper al-Shuruq: “It’s just a commercial film that is not worthy of a response.”

Stop doing the right things, Bibi! Israel’s prime minister visited the Tel Aviv club that was the scene of a horrible attack that murdered two young gay Israelis and listened to representatives of the Israeli gay community. That’s funny. I thought he was one of those religious zealots in the Likud that think gays are an abomination. What? People are spreading lies about him? No! You can’t mean it! Just because he’s acting like a good leader today doesn’t mean that tomorrow he’s going to come out and suggest gays should be stoned. (By the way, they’ll find the bastard who did this. This is the nation that tracks down terrorists years after their attacks. Give them time. They’ll get him.)

Because the world simply doesn’t have enough online games: Champions is joining the online gaming community. I absolutely refuse to say why I know what Champions is. I will only admit that Call of Cthulhu was an awesome game if run by a great gamemaster and peopled by decent players. Not that I know anything about it. Really. I don’t. (Detectives are so cool, don’t you think?)

07/31/2009

Friday SNB

Filed under: Hamas, Israel, Pop Culture, Religion, Syria — Meryl Yourish @ 10:00 am

One can only hope: Hamas threatens to boycott Palestinian unity talks. I’m rooting for Hamas in this one.

Egyptian border guards murder refugee, UN doesn’t care: If Israel were doing this, of course, there would be UN resolutions. And yet, it’s perfectly okay for Egyptians to continue to murder African refugees. I won’t hold my breath waiting for world condemnation.

Obama’s wising up? President Obama extended sanctions on Syria. Good for him.

Living in the mystical world: Madonna’s treatise on Kabbalah in Ynet, just because I love you all and want you to suffer as much as I did when I read it. Truthfully, I think it’s not a bad thing to have someone famous actually liking Israel, regardless of how or why she does. No, she’s not a role model. But she does influence the kiddies, and if she likes something, they like something. It’s win-win. It’s like her adopting African kids. No matter what the real reasons, those children go from poverty to princehood in 2.8. Good for them, good for her. I guess all this is just to say: You know, I kinda like her. And I really love “La Isla Bonita.” That’s my favorite of her songs.

07/23/2009

Thursday Snark News

Filed under: Iran, Israel, Movies, News Briefs, Pop Culture, palestinian politics — Meryl Yourish @ 9:00 am

Israel? What Israel? Fatah won’t recognize Israel, or stop “resistance,” and once again, Palestinians openly state that they only said they’d recognize Israel to get international approval (and billions to use against Israel). But this won’t show up anywhere in the mainstream media, of course.

Ahmadinejad vs. Khameini? I don’t know what to make of this, but man, I hope it means the rifts in Iran are deeper than we thought. Mad Mahmoud is refusing to fire his buddy, as demanded by The Supreme Leader. Get out some popcorn, boys and girls, because if this plays out badly, it’s going to be great for Israel and America.

Probably not what you think when you think “Men of Israel”: Hm. Gay pr0n starring gorgeous Israeli men. Well, it’s one way to make people think better of Israelis. (Ladies, the picture in the article is totally worth clicking through.)

What’s in a gnome? Apparently, garden gnomes raising their arms in a Nazi salute are not illegal in Germany. Good to know, just in case we ever utterly lose our mind and our taste and want to move to Germany, buy a house, and put a Nazi gnome in the front yard. (By the way, the picture in the first link makes you think the gnome is just waving nicely. Click here to see the Nazi salute.)

06/25/2009

A sad death

Filed under: Pop Culture — Tags: — Meryl Yourish @ 7:10 pm

Michael Jackson is dead of a heart attack. For all his fame and fortune, he led a pretty sad life.

Entertainer Michael Jackson has died after being taken to a hospital on Thursday after suffering cardiac arrest, according to multiple reports including the Los Angeles Times and the Associated Press. CNN has not confirmed his death.

Jackson, 50, had been in a coma at the hospital, sources told CNN.

Brian Oxman, a Jackson family attorney, said he was told by brother Randy Jackson that Michael Jackson collapsed at his home in west Los Angeles, California, Thursday morning.

I’d have to say he’s out of his misery now—and also unable to harm anyone else. I believe the accounts that he was abused by his father. Children of abusers have a high rate of abusing others themselves, and I believed the cases against Jackson.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel sadness for him.

On the other hand, his children may now actually have a chance to grow up normally.

Sad. Pathetic. Talented, yes, but ultimately—sad.

03/20/2009

“Yes! There will be growth in the spring! “

Filed under: Humor, Politics, Pop Culture — Tags: — Soccerdad @ 11:00 am

The First Family will have a garden (via memeorandum):

On Friday, Michelle Obama will begin digging up a patch of White House lawn to plant a vegetable garden, the first since Eleanor Roosevelt’s victory garden in World War II. There will be no beets (the president doesn’t like them) but arugula will make the cut.

(Hmm. Will beets be the new broccoli?)

Is it, as the NYT reports, that the garden will be a lesson about nutrition and other socially responsible behaviors? Or is there an economic lesson to be gleaned?

President “Bobby”: Mr. Gardner, do you agree with Ben, or do you think that we can stimulate growth through temporary incentives?
[Long pause]
Chance the Gardener: As long as the roots are not severed, all is well. And all will be well in the garden.
President “Bobby”: In the garden.
Chance the Gardener: Yes. In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again.

If that Geithner guy doesn’t work out, there’s always Chauncey Gardner!

Crossposted on Soccer Dad.

03/04/2009

Another reason to like Queen Latifah

Filed under: Pop Culture — Meryl Yourish @ 1:00 pm

I’ve always liked this woman, and now I like her even more.

Queen Latifah, who gave fans the chance to write and pick one of the songs for her next album, has a winner.

Ingrid Woode, of Sharonville, Ohio, will join Latifah in the studio to record Woode’s original song “Fairweather Friend” for the upcoming “Persona” album, set for release this spring.

The 25-year-old Woode works a “day job” at a pharmaceutical company, said a spokeswoman for People’s Choice, which conducted the contest with Latifah. The outcome was released online late Tuesday.

Latifah announced the opportunity when she hosted the People’s Choice Awards in January, with aspiring singer-songwriters invited to submit tunes.

Latifah winnowed the submissions down to three, the songs were posted on the People’s Choice Web site, , and fans picked Woode’s work as tops.

I think it’s wonderful that she’s helping someone fulfill her dream.

01/27/2009

Jeopardy tryouts

Filed under: Miscellaneous, Pop Culture, Television — Tags: — Soccerdad @ 9:30 am

If you want a chance to appear on Jeopardy, there will be online tests starting tonight based on your geographic location in the United States. Register here. Three years ago I think I got about 40 of the 50 questions, but last year, I did somewhat worse. I really haven’t kept up with my knowledge of popular culture. The online test is tonight for the east coast, tomorrow night for the Central and Mountain time zones and Thursday night for the west coast, Alaska and Hawaii.

This is only a preliminary test. If you do sufficiently well and you’re randomly chosen you still have three more steps to go through to become a contestant.

Crossposted on Soccer Dad.

01/02/2009

Well, that’s it for me: Stop the war, Israel

Filed under: Juvenile Scorn, Pop Culture — Meryl Yourish @ 1:00 pm

Annie Lennox is calling for an end to the Gaza War. I’m sold.

Singer Annie Lennox and other celebrities on Friday called on Israel to stop its air attacks on the Gaza Strip.

Speaking at a press conference in London Friday alongside activist Bianca Jagger, comedian Alexei Sayle and politicians including former London mayor Ken Livingstone, Lennox said violence could never be a solution to conflict.

Jack, Dave, Omri, everyone, put down your keyboards. The celebrities have spoken.

I have but one more thing to say to them: Shut up and sing.

[Insert eye roll here.]

12/19/2008

Majel Barrett, 1932-2008

Filed under: Pop Culture, Television — Meryl Yourish @ 9:33 pm

Majel Barrett has died.

My favorite of all her roles—and I’m sure there will be many of you out there utterly horrified by this—was Lwaxana Troi. The intergalactic Jewish mother—what’s not to love?

11/16/2008

Canning spam ^ 2

Filed under: Computers, Miscellaneous, Pop Culture — Tags: — Soccerdad @ 9:00 am

A tale of two meanings.

This spam is canned.

Immediately after McColo was unplugged, security companies charted a precipitous drop in spam volumes worldwide. E-mail security firm IronPort said spam levels fell by roughly 66 percent as of Tuesday evening.

Spamcop.net, another spam watch dog, found a similar decline, from about 40 spam e-mails per second to around 10 per second. (See their graphic representation here.)

(via memeorandum)
This is undoubtedly good!

More Spam is canned – and sold!

Through war and recession, Americans have turned to the glistening canned product from Hormel as a way to save money while still putting something that resembles meat on the table. Now, in a sign of the times, it is happening again, and Hormel is cranking out as much Spam as its workers can produce.

In a factory that abuts Interstate 90, two shifts of workers have been making Spam seven days a week since July, and they have been told that the relentless work schedule will continue indefinitely.

(via memeorandum)

But is this a good sign or a bad one?

Crossposted on Soccer Dad

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