Here, I think, is the simplest example of what Obama’s Cairo speech did to Israel.
06/09/2009
05/04/2009
Thought for the day
If the Israel/Jewish Lobby is so powerful, howcome we can’t get Nazi-lover Pat Buchanan to STFU?
01/24/2009
Stimulus envy
It’s a direct quote about Obama:
“You know, I’m concerned about the size of the package.”
—House GOP Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio).
12/21/2008
Because the anti-Israel crowd just doesn’t get it
Because the anti-Israel crowd is made up of really stupid people, and because I feel the need to channel my inner Hulk, I think it’s time once again to tell all of the tiny-brained, tiny-penised neo-Nazis, as well as the tiny-brained anti-Israel libs and Euroweenies who think they are doing this for our own good, and also the tiny-brained who have no real critical thought processes and simply repeat the latest Chomsky talking points that they heard at the last party, or over coffee in Starbucks, or maybe even during that one time they were actually paying attention in the World History requirement that they had to take, but that they really wanted to be Film Comedy, because that awesome Adam Sandler flick where he teaches the kid to piss on a wall was on the syllabus, but damn, the scheduling conflict really screwed that up.
You see, there’s been an influx of anti-Israel trolls and commenters lately, due to the news sites partnering with Sphere and other agencies, so that sometimes, when I reference a news article, my blog in turn is referenced on that site. It may be Yahoo News, it may be CNN, but whenever I get a reference from there, I get an influx of anti-Israel creeps who seem to be quite upset that they have found a pro-Israel blogger. And they are mystified as to why I won’t publish their comments.
So to save their little peabrains from exploding over the concept that not everyone is actually interested in hearing what they have to say, I was thinking of perhaps adding a rule to my comments policy. One that said that I will delete comments that don’t exactly break the No Israel-bashing rule, but that are still extremely stupid and annoying to me. And then I thought: No. The fact that this is my blog means that goes without saying. I don’t have to approve a single, solitary comment. I don’t have to even have comments. Hell, I didn’t for the first few years I was a blogger. But as to adding that rule, it was because I sometimes get emails or further comments from people whose comments I don’t approve, in which they say “I didn’t break any rules, why won’t you approve my comment?” If I add that rule, I could refer back to it.
Screw that.
It’s my blog, and that’s why I didn’t approve your comment. It’s my blog, and that’s why I get to tell people to take their Israel-hating venom and shove it up their asses, because the only way it gets on my blog is when I put it into a post to mock it.
It’s my blog, and that’s why all of some previous commenters’ comments go into the killfile automatically. They lost their commenting privilege—and it is a privilege, not a right—and that’s the end of that.
It’s my blog, and I get to set the rules of what I’d like to read in my comments section.
Do I want to have posts with long, interesting discussions about Israel? You betcha. Will I get them if I allow the Israel-bashers in? No. Won’t happen. Because everywhere else online, every single unmoderated conversation about Israel is ultimately hijacked by the anti-Israel scumbags. And sooner or later, out comes the anti-Semitism. You have the Stormfront POS’s, the David Duke POS’s, the Pat Buchanan POS’s, and the general, all-around anti-Semitic POS’s simply waiting for the opportunity to spout their venom any place they can, and when they find a blog like mine, with such a large Jewish readership, and so many unabashed Zionists, well, they are not merely POS’s, they are also just as happy as pigs in shit. (The fact that they resemble those selfsame pigs is not lost upon me or my readers.) So why make anti-Semitic POS’s happy if I have the chance to piss them off? It’s a no-brainer. And knowing I have made yet another anti-Semitic bastard a little less happy with his life, well, that’s just the icing on the cake.
Do I think that all criticism of Israel is anti-Semitic? Nope. But all unmoderated discussions (and many moderated ones) about Israel always seem to wind up there. So until that changes (or the world does, whichever comes first), I’m going to keep on pissing off the Jew-haters by not approving their Israel-hating comments. (Oh, and I’ll keep on pissing off the people who used to comment here, but can’t anymore, because they’re apparently too stupid to understand that their comments go, unread, into the trash.)
There. I feel much better now. Time to go check the mailbox and see what the aggregator dragged in, so I can piss off yet another Jew-hater.
It’s not a bug. It’s a feature.
10/24/2008
Paper stronger than steel
Via Glenn Reynolds, they’re making paper that’s stronger than steel, using nanotechnology.
Rosie O’Donnell says that fire can’t burn it.
OPEC cut is backfiring on them
This is great news:
Oil options contracts to sell crude at $50 by December almost tripled today after an OPEC decision to slash production failed to allay concerns that the global economic slump is hurting demand.
The cost of the $50 December 2008 put option, which gives the holder the right to sell oil futures at $50 a barrel, rose as much as 142 percent to $1.50 on the New York Mercantile Exchange, compared with 62 cents yesterday, according to exchange data.
“It certainly seems to me that we could get down to $50 a barrel,” Adam Sieminski, Deutsche Bank’s chief energy economist, said in a Bloomberg Radio interview today. “You could look at the OPEC cut as a sign of weakness, not strength.”
The cost of the option jumped on speculation that an output cut announced today by the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries, which supplies about 40 percent of the world’s oil, won’t be enough to stem plunging prices.
Ladies and gentlemen, can we have a little Nelson here, please?
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10/23/2008
A note to would-be comment spammers from spamblogs
Yes, you people are getting more and more clever. Yes, I’ve almost fallen for your crap more than once.
And yet, you have not gotten anywhere by spamming my comments with links to your blog surrounding your insipid comment that sounds almost real enough to be from a person, not from a bottom-feeder.
Take a hike. We don’t approve your kind around here.
And we’re not nearly as stupid as you seem to think we are.
10/19/2008
A note to would-be comment trolls
No, I am never going to approve a comment that uses the words McSame/Failin’ or any other comment that contains no insights, no actual commentary, no intelligence, and is nothing but an illiterate, uneducated Rethuglicans are eeeeeeeevil! sentiment.
And for the record, schmucks, I’m not a Republican. I’m an independent.
10/08/2008
Two more American Nobel prizes
And the Nobel prize in chemistry goes to: Two Americans and a Japanese. And is Martin Chalfie Jewish? We’ll wait and see. As for all those Arab/Muslim Nobel scholars… oops. Missed again. I guess we’ll have to wait ’til next year.
I suppose I could repent for these evil thoughts. Today’s the day for it.
08/14/2008
A song for the evening
Reading old posts is a bad idea. Because it makes me sad. Because I no longer have an active commenting community. Which makes me want to sing.
I ain’t got no comments, and nobody talks to me.
I’m so sad and lonely, ’cause I ain’t got no comments.
Sigh. I’ll just turn out the lights and sit here.
Alone.
In the dark.
And quiet.
07/07/2008
If I were the dictator of the world
Ice cream trucks would have bells. And that’s it.
No stupid songs.
No stupid noises.
Bells only.
Using anything other than bells would be a capital offense.
I hate living in an apartment complex in the summertime.
01/07/2008
One of those days
I find myself in a mood I have not been in for a long, long time.
Please.
Somebody cross me this week.
12/26/2007
Freakishly funny post of the day
Michael Jackson’s kid accidentally punched him in the mouth. And his lip fell off.
Michael Jackson reportedly underwent emergency surgery after his young son accidentally punched him in the face.
The Thriller hitmaker – who has undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries on his face in the past – was recently photographed in a Los Angeles bookstore wearing numerous bandages around his mouth.
But sources tell Finditt.com the singer’s son, Prince Michael II, caused the injury: “He was whacked in the face accidentally by his younger son Prince Michael II while playing around and part of Jackson’s upper lip collapsed.
“That mishap led a hysterical Jacko to make a beeline for the plastic surgeon for a bit of quickie repair work.”
Let that be a lesson to you: If you’re going to have enough surgery to become a modern-day Frankenstein’s monster, don’t play with kids.
Some might call this karma.
Exit question: How the hell does your lip “collapse”? What, he’s got balloons for lips now?
If any of my readers are plastic surgeons, please don’t tell me the truth. I don’t want to know.
09/01/2007
No. More. Social. Networks.
You know, some people are going to take this the wrong way and think I am angry with them. I am not angry with them. I am angry with the stupid networks that have brainwashed them into thinking they’re anything but a waste of time and bits. I do NOT want to be involved in any more internet social networks, from anyone.
What do they do for me? What good are they? What, exactly, is their purpose, other than to make money for the creators of these social networks? I’ve said yes to one or two of them, and frankly, I’ve had exactly zero results other than seeing my mailbox fill up with “So-and-so wants to invite you to such-and-such group on Social Network Number Seven! Do you agree?”
Screw that. Screw Quechup, which is the most godawful stupid name I’ve heard yet for a social network. Screw anything that wants me to participate for no good reason, and take my time for nothing, so they can make money from people who also give their time and effort away for nothing. I have a blog. I have email accounts. I have my own social network already in place. I don’t want any more.
Internet social networks are the Amway of the internet. I said no to selling Amway decades ago. Now I’m saying no to these stupid networks.
Stop putting me on your social networking lists, people. Stop inviting me to join the fad-of-the-month. Five invites to this thing in less than 24 hours is five too many.
Not.
Interested.
And don’t send me an apologetic email about how sorry you are you put me there in the first place. This is a rant. It is done. Subject is closed.
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08/23/2007
Levels within levels to this story
One one level, it’s black humor: A crematorium was set on fire. (You mean a crematorium can be burned? Who knew?) On other levels, this is a story that just feels—wrong.
A fire broke out Wednesday evening at a crematorium located in the community of Hibat Tzion in the Sharon region. Firefighters dispatched to the scene extinguished the flames; no injuries were reported.
Signs of forced entry were apparent, increasing suspicions that the fire was not accidental.
See, the black humor is everywhere in this story, because I’m thinking the line above me is a Duh! moment.
The location of the crematorium, the first ever to be built in Israel, was revealed Wednesday morning by an Orthodox newspaper Kav Itonut Datit, which is distributed in the city of Bnei Brak.
Until now the funeral home that owns the crematorium, Alei Shalechet, kept the location secret fearing it would be attacked by elements opposed to cremation.
After hearing of the fire, Meshi Zahav, who visited the crematorium on Tuesday, told Ynet that he “blesses the person who (set the crematorium on fire)”, adding that ZAKA has been fighting against the cremation of Jewish people’s bodies all over the world and that it was “inconceivable that this custom exists in Israel”.
Presence revealed Wednesday, religious Jews protest, set on fire Wednesday night. Check. But here is where that black humor comes right back in:
“The purpose of the crematorium is to burn, so now – an eye for an eye – it has fulfilled its purpose,” he said.
I like this guy’s sense of humor. I’m not in any way condoning the destruction of someone’s business. But I find this story a tiny bit amusing, in a bizarre sort of way.
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08/22/2007
Really evil thought about Hurricane Dean
President Bush offered Mexico help to Mexican areas devastated by Hurricane Dean.
I suggest that there are huge numbers of Mexicans with the knowledge and skills needed to rebuild stricken areas.
Just send ‘em some of the illegals in the American construction industry.
08/18/2007
More on my spam
So, do the guys who want me to forward them the Jessica Alba bra-less emails also want me to forward them the Barbra Streisand bra-less emails?
Just askin’.
04/03/2007
Email’s back
Now you can all tell me that you can’t access my site except for the main page.
Oh. Wait. I already knew that.
Never mind.
Yes, Evil Meryl comes out at the strangest of times.
The really cool thing: You can’t comment until I get things fixed around here. Ha. Ha, I say!
12/30/2006
Saddam video
Yeah, I know, this is going to get me a zillion search hits, but I found it over on YouTube. I knew I would.
For the faint-hearted. Trust me when I tell you that everyone will be able to watch this video and feel nothing but humor. Well, except Gumby fans.
Update: If you want the real one, here’s the hanging caught on cellphone.
Sic semper tyrannis.
12/29/2006
Saddam Hangman haiku
Saddam is hanging
He did some very bad things
Hussein, meet Hangman.
The clock is ticking
Today is Saddam’s death day
There won’t be presents
Join in, folks!
Update:
Saddam is dead now
It’s Tuna for Terrorists!
The cats are happy
Update 2:
Good point on TV
Remember Saddam’s victims
They rest easy now
Update 3: Geez, do so many of you have to be so gross?
Update 4:
Going to bed now
Comment moderation back
When Lair goes to bed
Translation: I turned off comment moderation for this post, and Lair Simon will turn it back on for me before he signs off.
I’ll approve all your haikus tomorrow morning.
Update 5:
Saddam is dead
palestinians mourn him
They are terrorists
Fox News has pictures
Saddam alive; Saddam dead
The picture is strange
Saddam is dead now
This will not stop violence
Never said it would
Make that 1 to 3 days for Saddam
They’re gonna hang him on Sunday. Or maybe even today.
Now I do want a Javascript clock. Dang, can’t find my old bookmarks.
Can we get a chorus of “Na na na na Hey Hey Goodbye,” please?
12/28/2006
29 days…
left in Saddam’s execution order.
I was going to put up a javascript clock, but this works just as well.
Update: Hundreds apply to be Saddam’s hangman.
Only hundreds?
12/18/2006
Random car theft thought
I have come to the conclusion that if you are stupid enough to live in an apartment complex, turn on your car in the morning, and then leave the key in the car so the car can warm up while you run back into the apartment, you deserve to have it stolen.
You are too stupid to be allowed to drive.
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12/04/2006
A test for reporters
I just thought of a test for the media who report on Israel.
Set up bureaus in Sderot.
Staff them.
Then report on how harmless the kassam rockets are.
Any takers? Reuters? AP? New York Times? Anyone? Anyone?
09/18/2006
I’ll probably get in trouble for this
But I gotta tell you, I’m starting to think that Islam needs a new moniker. The Religion of Peace(TM) really seems to be the Religion of Whiny Children (with weapons).
VATICAN CITY Sep 17, 2006 (AP)— Pope Benedict XVI said Sunday that he is “deeply sorry” his remarks on Islam and violence offended Muslims, but the unusual expression of papal regret drew a mixed reaction from Islamic leaders as the Vatican worried about a backlash of violence.
Some Muslim leaders accepted the statement. Others said it wasn’t enough, but urged Muslims to avoid violence after attacks on churches in Palestinian areas and the slaying of a nun in Somalia.
The violence isn’t over yet.
Two churches were set on fire in the West Bank, raising to at least seven the number of church attacks in Palestinian areas over the weekend blamed on outrage sparked by the speech.
There was also concern that the furor was behind the shooting death of an Italian missionary nun at the hospital where she worked for years in the Horn of Africa nation of Somalia. The killing came just hours after a Somali cleric condemned the pope’s speech.
I want to know when they’re going to discover that the lyrics to “Les Miserables” has a song that asks people to join a crusade.
“Will you join in our crusade
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?”
Of course, the fact that the song is about a failed French revolution probably wouldn’t make a bit of difference. After all, the word “crusade” is in it. It must be anti-Muslim.
Sarcastic? Moi? Mais non!
08/25/2006
Random English major thought
There is no such word as “irregardless.”
It doesn’t matter how many times you use it. It’s still not a word.
Or, to put it another way: Irrespective of the frequency of the use of “irregardless,” it is still not a word—regardless of what some people think.
08/14/2006
New job alert
I’m starting my new job today, so by the time you read this (I’m scheduling it to run later while writing it during breakfast), I’ll be busy at work. There will be no blogging from work. I have a real job, unlike so many other bloggers who have jobs that allow them to spend hours a day posting.
Ooh, that was snarky. Okay, this one goes under Evil Meryl.
But stick around. I wrote another post and scheduled it to publish during lunch.
07/27/2006
Disappearing posts
Why, yes, there was a very crabby post up earlier today, and it has now disappeared. Evil Meryl posted it, and, well, it wasn’t very interesting, so it’s gone.
This one won’t disappear.
However, I have a new thing. You know how the military has threat levels and the weather service has warnings and watches and whatnots?
We have something new here: Crabby Levels.
And today, Crabby Level is high. I repeat, Crabby Level is high.
If the Crabby Level becomes dangerous, your monitor will turn bright red and melt.
Okay, just kidding. About the melting.
07/17/2006
If I were truly evil…
If I were truly evil, I’d put up a post yanking the anti-Semites’ chains.
Gee, it must really suck for you guys. I have moderated comments, so when you try to post the kind of filth you get away with posting on unmoderated weblogs, it has to go through me, first. And—then it gets deleted. Except for the tiny percentage that slips through the net, nobody else gets to read it, and frankly, I’ve become pretty good at sensing the message of hate in just the first few words.
Wow, you must just get so frustrated that nobody on my weblog is going to read your not-so-brilliant thoughts. Your message of hate simply doesn’t get past the censor.
Does that burn you up? Doesn’t it make you mad that you have absolutely no control over whether or not your thoughts get read on this weblog?
I have a solution for you. It’s the yourish.com mantra, and it’s a one-size-fits-all.
Anti-Semites of the world, just die already.
You see, if I were truly evil, I’d post something just like that.
And you know something?
This isn’t even a tenth of what I’d say if I were really going to let loose. Nobody has seen the full Evil Meryl online yet. Pray that you never do.
07/05/2006
Mini-Darwin nominees
I’m sorry, but I can’t help thinking that the people who hurt themselves are simply too stupid to deserve sympathy—unless they were small children.
BERLIN (Reuters) – Police in Berlin said on Wednesday they had arrested two men on suspicion of placing cement-filled soccer balls around the city and inviting people to kick them. At least two people injured themselves by kicking the balls, which were chained to lampposts and trees alongside the spray-painted message: “Can you kick it?”
Police said they had identified a 26-year-old and a 29-year-old and had found a workshop in their apartment where they made the balls. The two are accused of causing serious physical injury, dangerous obstruction of traffic and causing injury through negligence, police said.
Judging from the lack of description of the victims, I’d venture a guess that they were simply stupid grownups who never learned how not to fall for dumb practical jokes.