Either that, or Mad TV’s writers got way better.

Sorry. But it was really funny. Who is that Bobby Lee guy? High-larious.

Really, it’s fascinating. I mean, I know that four years ago, I was working for Kelly Temporary Services, as well as teaching religious school and the climbing gym. I know I was working seven days a week and still not making enough money to cover the bills every month, so I was taking “loans” from my credit card companies to pay the bills. But reading the accounts of what was going on as events were going on is like having a window into my brain from four years ago. Memories fade; blog posts remain. For all I know, blog posts may be forever—it’s entirely likely that my blog posts will outlive me.

One thing I’ve noticed about my reading old posts is that this time, unlike many other times, I haven’t been shuddering at the bad writing of yesteryear. Either my writing has finally reached a point that I’m utterly comfortable with, or my overdeveloped sense of self-criticism is finally in remission. Don’t care which one is right, just as long as it stays like this.

And may I say that I really, really, really am enjoying the comments. I miss the fluff and the silly puns in discussions. This one even has reader haikus about snow. (And that post also has a picture proving that yes, I did have my hard top on less than five years ago, contrary to a certain someone’s wrong opinion of how long my hard top was in his garage—two years, dude, two. Not five.)

So bear with me, people, because I keep finding posts that I want to bring back into the public view for my readers who weren’t here four years ago.

I have posts that are older than hundreds of thousands, no, millions of blogs. That’s the fast-paced age in which we live.

And then there’s the personal factor. I’m glad that I have the many-faceted blog that I see in the past, and a little sad that I stopped writing so many personal posts. I’m not quite sure why. I think it has a lot to do with going back to work as a web manager. Working on a computer for eight or more hours a day does drain your ability to post, and so I’ve been concentrating on the Israel posts and easing off on the personal ones. I think perhaps I should bring back the everyday doings of my life, as well as (Rahel will like this) adding more cat pictures. It seemed to work quite nicely four years ago.

Of course, a little encouragement in the comments won’t hurt a bit. Because then you’ll get more posts with content like this:

During lunch, I realized that one of my main purposes in life is to feed meat to Rebecca. When we eat at Hi’s, she gets her share of my roast beef sandwich. When we eat at Brock’s, my job is to give her skinless chicken (God forbid there should be skin or crust on it), cut to bite-sized pieces. (She refused to eat one that she felt was not cut small enough, until I cut it smaller). I also have to give her various side dishes, such as hush puppies and green beans, and don’t even get me started on Chinese food. That girl has eaten at least half my chicken and broccoli every time we have Chinese for lunch. You know the old saying about being hungry an hour after eating Chinese food? Well, with me, it’s because Rebecca has eaten my lunch. I have never seen a child who can hold so much food in such a tiny stomach.

The funniest moment of the day: Rebecca was showing off her belly button, so I commented on it, which, of course, got Max to raise his shirt. “I see your belly button,” I told him. “I have a penis,” he told me.

I could not stop laughing.

This post will doubtless be around long enough to embarrass Max during his teen years. Oh, well. He’ll have to dig in my archives to find it.

Regular readers know I’ve been temping lately. One of my temp jobs is helping out at various seminars in the Richmond area. I had no idea how rich and varied the seminar field is. In the past few months, I’ve worked quite a few different seminars, ranging from software training to property law to childcare to—well, let me tell you about it.

This morning’s workshop was titled “Self-Mutilation.” It was about adolescents who cut themselves. I’d heard of the problem before, and so didn’t really raise an eyebrow at the subject matter. However, registration this morning was a bit unusual. The problem involved signing in. Over a hundred people approached the registration tables, wanting to be sure they were at the right conference (we did not have a giant sign, only literature on the tables). But they were also hesitant to ask at the wrong table, which is understandable. Picture this conversation:

“I’m here for the Self-Mutilation conference.”
“What? This is the Phillip Morris Team-building workshop, you sick freak!”

So here we are, two temps sitting at the registration table, and people walking up afraid to ask if they’re in the right place. Sometimes, they would see the program on the table, their faces would light up, and they’d say, “Oh, this is the right place!” After a while, I could see them trying to figure out what to do, so I’d start:

“Self-Mutilation?”
“Yes.”
“Name, please?”

The hotel employee whose job it was to change the notice boards with the day’s workshops came up to the table and asked for the name of the conference. He was clearly intensely uncomfortable talking about the subject at all. So we had a short conversation:

“What name should I put in the notice board?”
“The conference is on Self-Mutilation”
“How about if I just put S-M?”
“No, then people would think it’s about sadomasochism. How about you just put [name withheld] Center?”

He went off, clearly relieved he didn’t have to have “Self-Mutilation” sitting in that board for twenty-four hours. And I got yet another story to tell people.

As my regular readers know, the Hulk makes appearances on this blog from time to time. During my time off, I had the opportunity to discuss the election with him. Our conversation went something like this:

Pass the sunblock, Hulk.
Why girl need to put goo on skin? Hulk never need goo on skin, look at Hulk. Green as can be!
We’ve been over this before, Hulk. I’m merely human.
Bah. Girl puny human.
Fine. I’m a puny human. Puny humans need sunblock.
Girl want Hulk to put goo on back?
No! Er, no, Hulk. Last time you tried I wound up half a mile in the ocean.
Bah. Hulk got girl out before shark eat her.
You know, Hulk, sometimes you’re—
[Cue: airplane flying up coast, bearing a "Vote Kerry/Edwards!" banner]
What plane say?
They want us to vote for John Kerry in the election.
What election?
An election is how we get our leaders.
Leader! Hulk hate Leader! Leader very bad. Try to kill Hulk many times with squishy men. Hulk can’t punch squishy men.
No, not the Leader. Our leaders. Like the president.
Who president?
Bush. Our president is Bush.
President is bush? HAHAHAHAHA! Puny humans led by plant!
[sigh] No, Hulk. The president’s name is Bush.
That stupid name.
No argument here.
Why plane want different leader than Bush?
That’s what we do. Every four years, we have two people run against each other to see who will be our leader.
They run into each other? Hulk like that!
No, um, they go around the country and make speeches and try to get us to vote for them.
Speeches? Bah. Talk, talk, talk. Hulk bored with talk. Hulk like to smash. Leaders smash?
Well, we are at war. So you could say that some of our leaders smash.
This Kerry smash?
No. He doesn’t want us to be at war. He’d stop us from smashing—er, fighting in Iraq.
Do Bush smash?
Bush is the one who sent us into Iraq, so yes, Bush smash.
Bush smash. What Kerry do?
Well, he talks. Rather a lot, come to think of it.
Bah. Talk, talk, talk. Puny humans talk too much. Hulk tired of talking. Hulk want to smash. Hulk like to smash. Hulk vote for Bush. Bush smash! Hulk smash! Hulk is the strongest one there is!
Okay, Strongest. Let’s stop talking and get some Italian ices.
Girl put money away. Hulk get this one.

If you suggest topics in the comments, the Hulk may come back more frequently.

For the past sixty or seventy years, if not longer than that, the Arab nations have been indulging in one form or another of Jew-hatred. I don’t see how we can possibly re-educate those whose very institutions regularly deny the existence of the state of Israel. I don’t see how we can reform those whose governments sponsor a multi-part miniseries during the Arab equivalent of sweeps month (Ramadan) that echoes the lies of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, with their media insisting the series was truthful. And if you go to Google News today and look for the phrase “horseman without a horse,” you will find this article on Al-Jazeera, which calls the Protocols “an allegedly anti-Semitic television programme” that was “loosely based on The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a controversial document that has never been corroborated.”

That article is dated July 16th.

A quick look around MEMRI will show you case after case of institutional Arab anti-Semitism. And MEMRI presents regular updates on the presence of anti-Semitism in the Arab and Muslim world.

So the shock and surprise expressed by the UN’s European’s ambassadors at the negative Arab reaction to a UN resolution on anti-Semitism is particularly annoying. All they had to do was open their eyes in their own backyards to see the Muslim hatred of Jews.

NEW YORK – Arab states at the United Nations are trying to foil a proposal to raise a vote condemning anti-Semitism in the General Assembly this September.

At a closed meeting held recently in New York, UN ambassadors from Arab and EU countries met and the Arabs made clear that they do not accept the initiative for the UN General Assembly to condemn anti-Semitism.

The blunt language used by the Arabs describing their opposition, and their plans to use diplomatic means to prevent the resolution from reaching a vote, shocked the Europeans, said a UN source.

According to UN sources, the Arab delegates were also critical of a UN seminar on anti-Semitism held last month. A senior Western diplomat said that among the Arabs who spoke with the Europeans was PLO observer Nasser al Kidwe, and he was particularly outspoken in his objections to a UN General Assembly resolution on anti-Semitism.

The source said Kidwe attacked the content of UN Secretary general Koffi Anan’s speech to the seminar last month, particularly Annan’s pride in the cancelation of the 1975 Zionism equals racism resolution. “The Europeans were depressed when they left the meeting,” said the source.

I would like to hear what kind of blunt language they used, frankly. I would very much like to hear the Arab ambassadors to the UN expressing the kind of Jew-hatred we know they already hold. I’d like to see it plastered on the front page of the New York Times. But then, I’d also like to win the lottery.

Jordanian Ambassador to the UN Prince Ziad Hussein argued that the resolution would reinforce the tendency to call any criticism of Israel, anti-Semitic. Moroccan Ambassador Mohammed Banone, said that the seminar against anti-Semitism was a terrible idea and a decision would only divide the world body. Arab League Ambassador Mahamas Hani warned that a UN resolution condemning anti-Semitism would have a negative impact on the Middle East.

The proposed resolution would issue a general condemnation of all forms of anti-Semitism and acts of intolerance, incitement and harassment. The decision would also call on member countries to take steps to block anti-Semitism.

Major countries have already committed to voting in favor. Last year, an Israeli initiative for a similar resolution failed.

Of course the Arabs would have to vote against this resolution. The Protocols are bestsellers in Arab nations, and their Friday sermons nearly always condemn or call for the deaths of Jews. How could they vote for a resolution against anti-Semitism, when hatred has become a part of their way of life?

Shame, once more, on the United Nations. Shame, once more, on the European nations that allow this hatred to continue. And shame on the European ambassadors who are so ignorant that they don’t recognize the depths and read of this hatred.

This is why Israel exists, and this is what “Never again” truly means: Never again will Jews leave their fates in the hands of others. Because every time we have done so in the past, we’ve regretted it.

Regular readers of this blog may have noticed that from time to time, I’ve been taking the Hulk perspective on various problems, specifically the Middle East. Well, when you take a hard look at things, I’ve realized that there is no problem so complex that you can’t apply the Hulk perspective to it. Let’s give it a try:

The problem: The standoff at the Church of the Nativity. Palestinians refuse to come out unless allowed to go to Gaza or stay in the West Bank, no Israeli arrests allowed. Israelis want to arrest or exile to a foreign country known terrorist leaders; the rest may go free.

The solution: Hulk smash Church wall! Hulk smash puny humans with guns! Hulk not smash puny humans without guns! Hulk take puny humans out of Church! (Editor’s Note: If the IDF doesn’t pull back while this happens, Hulk will smash them as well. He never was much good at differentiating between groups of men with guns.)

The problem: Anti-Semitism is rampant throughout France. Synagogues have been burned down, Jewish children attacked, bombs placed in cemeteries. Jean-Marie Le Pen is now a viable candidate for the presidency of France, and French Jews fear for their safety.

The solution: Hulk smash puny Frenchmen! Hulk smash man with woman’s name! (Why man have woman’s name?)

The problem: The United Nations would like to send a “fact-finding mission” to Jenin to determine whether or not “massacres” occurred. The Israelis refuse to allow a committee of people already known to be hostile to Israel into Jenin, and also refuse to allow the committee to interview their soldiers. Kofi Annan wants to disband the committee rather than make any changes suggested by the Israeli Cabinet.

The solution: Hulk smash puny humans! Hulk smash puny UN! Hulk smash Kofi-man! Hulk smash! Wait–didn’t Hulk smash UN before? It near river, right? Uh-oh.

The problem: The world media is extremely biased against Israel, choosing to yammer about massacres without evidence while subsequently ignoring the evidence that there was no massacre. People like Robert Fisk make up facts on a regular basis, while Oxford poets discuss their desires to see “Brooklyn-born Jews” shot. American newspapers ignore major pro-Israel rallies and put on the front page pro-Palestinian rallies, even if only sparsely attended.

The solution: Hulk smash puny newspaper men! Hulk smash puny editors! Hulk hate Daily Bugle! Daily Bugle mean to Hulk! Hulk SMASH!

The problem: Pedophilia is rampant throughout the American Catholic Church. It has seemingly reached epidemic proportions, finally forcing the Church to admit there is a problem and take action to remove the priests responsible. (Editor’s note: Okay, it’s not the Middle East, but it’s hot right now. Shut up.)

The solution: Hulk smash puny men in funny clothes! Hulk smash!

The problem: Yassir Arafat refuses to keep his word, won’t clamp down on terrorist activity, indeed, has been traced to payments to suicide bombers, the importation of 50 tons of weapons on the Karinne A, including C-4 to build more terror bombs, and has not even tried to negotiate in good faith to end the conflict in Israel.

The solution: Hulk smash ugly man in head-scarf! Hulk smash! And–phew–ugly man need bath! He smell worse than Hulk!

The problem: Saudi Arabia fears for its image. Fifteen of the nineteen suicide bombers came from Saudi Arabia, Osama bin Laden is a Saudi Arabian, Saudia Arabia is the largest financier of militant Islam in the world. They’ve hired an American ad agency to improve their image in the United States.

The solution: Hulk smash Saudi Arabia! Hulk smash bad men!

And there you have it. The Stan Lee Solution, starring The Incredible Hulk. If you think my theory doesn’t work, then email me the most complicated problems you can think of, and I will attempt to find the Hulk’s answer to any problem that comes my way.

Blogging. The new media term taking the Net by storm. Short for Weblog, to Blog is to put up a web site that chronicles your thoughts, your activities, your life, either in the hopes of enlightening yourself and others, or because your ego is the size of Montana.

I’m hoping it’s the former.

I’ve had this domain for several years and done nothing with it. Now Blogging is going to get a chance.

This site will undergo many style changes in the upcoming months, as I have no real idea what I’d like the end product to look like. What I do know is that I’ve spent several years in the industry and know the difference between a point, a pica, and a pixel. I know that the Internet is a wealth of information and misinformation, and anyone can discover just about anything online if s/he looks long enough. I know that my mindset has undergone many changes in the last few years, and will doubtless undergo more as I get older. Growth is change. Stagnation, to me, is worse than death. If I cannot change, just dig me a hole, throw me in and cover me with dirt.

Okay, I’m shuddering at the seven-year-old prose, but that’s because as a writer, I can’t stand most of what I wrote years ago. The style changes aren’t just visual.

We’ve had style changes, and will have another one soon. I was trying to get it done by today, but life got in the way. I’m not as married to anniversaries and deadlines as I was years ago.

In the last seven years, this blog went from being a fairly personal, diary-type blog with bits of current events thrown in to what you see today: A blog that devotes itself to Israel and Jewish issues, with bits of personal events thrown in. A blog with some superb co-bloggers (Snoopy and Soccerdad), with room for more in the future, I’m sure.

I’ve added podcasting to my online repertoire, and gained hundreds of new friends, and thousands and thousands of readers. This blog went over 2 million hits on Sitemeter earlier this year, which lowballs my stats, and which I started a year or two after I started this blog. I’d venture to guess my readers my hit count is about a third higher than sitemeter says. One thing that hasn’t changed is my pages-to-hits ratio. It’s always at least 1.5, and often close to 2. When you read, you really read around here—Sitemeter says I have nearly 3 million pageviews.

I gave up trying to figure out my wordcount. But I’m thinking that’s in the millions as well—a long essay post is often about 800-1000 words, not counting quotes. It’s pretty easy to hit seven figures when you post pretty much every day for six years. (I didn’t post every day the first year.)

I don’t know if I’ve got anyone from the early, early days. I had a few dozen readers at first, then about two hundred per day, then a steady climb up until about a year ago. I’ve stayed pretty static. I get about 1,800-4,500 hits per day, depending on which stat counter you use. I think I’ll split the difference and call it 3,000 readers per day. It’s not that big, and not that small, and I appreciate you all coming back day in and day out. My biggest challenge is trying to read your minds. I’m thinking I must have succeeded somewhat, because I’m still here, and you’re still here.

If you senior Yourish.com readers want to shout out your handles and how long you’ve been reading in the comments thread, go ahead. I don’t require real information, or even an email address. Just give yourself a name of some kind, and tell all the young whippersnappers when you started reading. I know one of my most faithful readers found me on my first blogiversary. Can anyone call pre-April 2002?

Anyway, here’s to seven more years. At least. And yes, there will be cat pictures. Some of you will complain, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. And even if you would, well, my blog. My cats. My rules. I may be a benevolent dictator, but I am a dictator, nonetheless. Seven years and counting.

Combined with the recent re-publication of the Danish Mo cartoons, these unacceptable acts of free speech have Muslim “scholars” demanding that heads roll.

About two years ago I saw a similar idea proposed by: A Jewish professor at an American university (under Jewish auspices)! Robert O. Freedman of the Baltimore Hebrew University recommended an International Religious Court of enforce civility among religions. LGF quoted from the article and wrote

It takes a lot to make my jaw drop these days, but here’s an op-ed in Baltimore’s Jewish Times that achieved this near-impossible feat.

The Volokh Conspiracy also quoted from the article, but was more clinical.

As you might gather, my reaction to this is much the same as my reaction to the “Defamation of Religions” argument I criticized below. Interestingly, unlike Prof. Ali Khan’s work, Dr. Friedman’s argument doesn’t even mention the possibility that the nation in which he lives might be constitutionally barred from going along with the orders of any such court.

My own problem with Dr. Freedman’s suggestion was whether this court could be a forum to take action against Muslims who destroyed shrines of other religions or if it was only meant to address Muslim sensitivities. And if it was the latter, would Muslims be able to take action against a country that allowed an apostate to live in its borders?

Crossposted on Soccer Dad.

I need to get back into this habit.

Don’t think this will go anywhere in the JIBs, though. I didn’t see a category for cats.

RICHMOND, VIRGINIA—An arrest warrant was issued in Wisconsin for the murder of a bluejay by Tigger Yourish of Richmond, Virginia.

Following the highly unsuccessful attempt to allow hunting of feral cats, the Cheeseheads are looking for more publicity and have seized on the murder of innocent birds by domestic cats.

“Domestic cats are fed by their owners. They don’t need to hunt. It’s murder,” said J. Goldberg, a spokesman for the Friends of Cat-Haters of Wisconsin. When asked how they expect cats to overcome their instinct, the spokesman said, “Instinct, shminstinct. It’s murder, murder I tell you! They’re not like dogs. Dogs don’t hunt animals for no reason.” When asked about the many breeds of hunting dogs who kill rabbits, moles, squirrels, and other small animals, Goldberg said, “Well, dogs are different. Dogs are, uh, well, they’re not cats!”

Meryl Yourish, owner of Tigger, said, “Oh, please. It’s bad enough he killed the damned thing before breakfast. I don’t think anyone should have to get rid of a dead bird before they’ve even had their breakfast.”

The alleged killer, when questioned about the murder, said, “Mrowr?”

Yourish said there is no truth to the rumor that the anonymous tip was placed by Gracie. “I know she wants to be an only cat, but to go this far? I don’t think so.”

Gracie could not be reached for comment.