Monday back to work briefs

Cyber credit war: A Saudi hacker (or a person claiming to be a Saudi hacker) got into a database holding thousands of Israeli credit card info and has leaked the info online. Now, Israeli hackers say they have credit card info for Saudi shopping sites and will leak the info if the Saudi hacker doesn’t stop. All I can say is: I’m glad I’m not in either database, and both of them are wrong, but here’s hoping the threat stops the Saudi hacker.

It would be funny if it weren’t so serious: The IDF caught a Palestinian would-be suicide bomber and eight pipe bombs. How did they catch him? The wires sticking out of his clothing gave him away. Thank God for stupid terrorists.

No, really, Hamas is moderating, we swear it: Sure, they’re willing to make peace with Israel. Hell, even the AP is reporting the contrary:

Hamas’ prime minister in Gaza says the anti-Israeli militant group will never give up its arms, its territory or its claims on Jerusalem on behalf of the Palestinians.

Best part of the story? The last graf, which, of course, is the one that gets cuts from most World News sections of your local paper:

But not heard was “Kill the Jews!” a slogan used by ultraconservatives three days earlier upon Haniyeh’s arrival.

Why isolation won’t work: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is on a four-nation South American tour. The Monroe Doctrine is called for here, especially as his first stop is Venezuela. That’s the country whose leader, Hugo Chavez, says we’ve been giving South American leaders cancer. It is the most awesome weapon since the Zionist Death Ray that killed Yasser Arafat.

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