Shorter Obama speech

For your benefit, a summary.

  • “I’m going to fight the oil! Call out the national guard! Fight, fight, fight! Oo-rah!”
  • “It’s Bush’s fault!”
  • “Pass Cap and Trade—er, I mean, the new clean energy proposal that will wean us from our dependence on dirty, dirty oil that is fouling the Gulf!”
  • “Bad BP! Evil BP! BP must pay! (Please don’t mention that I am the top recipient of BP money over the past 20years) I’m going to talk to the CEO tomorrow (since you all got mad that I haven’t talked to him yet) and make him pay, the rotten corporate greedy evil bastard!”
  • “Have I mentioned alternative energy yet? Oh, yeah—no more drilling!”
  • “It’s Bush’s fault!”

There. Now you don’t even have to read the speech.

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4 Responses to Shorter Obama speech

  1. annoyinglittletwerp says:

    I already have medicated hypertension(If the Obama Nanny State is reading this: I’m an athlete. It’s genetic)watching Pinocchio and his ever growing proboscis would have made it worse.

  2. rdamurphy says:

    Liberals: How’s that hopey changey think working out for ya?

  3. John M. says:

    Some oily clams. Truly a herculean test of a president’s resolve. One requiring superb leadership and statesmanship.

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