Thursday Snark News

Religion of Peace blows up two more hotels: Indonesia again, but don’t worry—it’s just a tiny minority of extremists doing all the kabooms.

Palestinians answer Hillary’s request with a kassam rocket: Looks like Hillary’s plea to the Palestinians to refrain from any actions that would make peace more difficult is working. The Palestinians launched a kassam at Southern Israel, because now they’re going to blame Israel for taking action against it. And considering that Netanyahu has stated that he will not tolerate so much as a dribble, expect some tunnels to go boom.

Israel wants UNIFIL to do what? Israel is asking for UNIFIL’s report on the rocket storage depot in southern Lebanon that blew up this week. UNIFIL doesn’t so much as mention the explosion on its site. Ban Ki-Moon hasn’t said anything about the violation of UN Security Council Resolution 1701. The General Assembly is not calling for an emergency session to vote on a resolution condemning Hezbollah’s overt violation of 1701. And the Security Council is silent. What’s that you say? It’s a day that ends with a “y,” so it’s Israeli Double Standard Time? Well. I can see you’ve been reading this blog for a long time.

Syria to U.S.: We want the entire Golan. Meryl to Syria [singing]: You can’t always get what you want.

Neturei Karta guarantee their place in Dante’s Seventh Circle: Okay, not really, but it’s a good metaphor, because any Jew that works so hard for Israel’s enemies—they’re meeting Haniyeh, now, and bringing him little statues of Al Aqsa and the Dome of the Mosque, how sweet—cannot possibly be on G-d’s good side. Really, I detest these people more than I detest almost anyone else in the world, except pedophiles. And even that one is a close call. I know there’s no hell in Judaism, but for the Nutty Karta, I’d make an exception.

Senate votes big expansion of federal hate crimes—Can we get a Constitutional challenge, please? Then again, forget about it. Sotomayor is going to be approved, no way is the Supreme Court going to find hate crime laws unconstitutional. Add this to the list of things I’ve changed my mind about since moving to Virginia: I no longer believe hate crimes should be legislated, at all. A crime is a crime is a crime.

Jake Tapper, will you marry me? If the man continues to tell the truth about Obama, I’m simply going to have to have him.

At a rally in Holmdel, New Jersey, today, President Obama continued making a promise about health care reform that he has acknowledged isn’t literally true.

Holmdel. Feh. Where was he, in the Garden State Arts Center? Whoops, sorry, they changed its name to the PNC Arts Center. And yes, he was. You know, I saw a much better act last time I was there. Lilith Fair. The Pretenders, Sarah McLachlan, Sheryl Crow. All of whom probably voted for Obama, come to think of it (except McLachlan, she’s Canadian). But I digress. Tapper:

“Let me be exactly clear about what health care reform means to you,” the president told residents of the Garden State. “First of all, if you’ve got health insurance, you like your doctors, you like your plan, you can keep your doctor, you can keep your plan. Nobody is talking about taking that away from you.”

But last month, as the president acknowledged during a press conference, he doesn’t literally mean that you are guaranteed to be able to keep your health care plan, and your doctor, if and when health care reform passes.

What? Obama lying again? Say it isn’t so! As for the price tag? Go watch Tapper’s report.

Don’t let him succeed. Call your Senator.

This entry was posted in Gaza, Israeli Double Standard Time, Lebanon, News Briefs, Religion, Terrorism, The One and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Thursday Snark News

  1. Sabba Hillel says:

    I think that you are wrong putting the Neturei Karta into the seventh of hell. Here is the list of the circles. As you can see murderers and suicides were put into the seventh circle. However, I think that even though they are attempting to commit suicide by causing the murder of every Jew (including themselves) they would really belong in circle 8 (flatterers and hypocrites) of circle 9 (traitors). However, I think that the worst punishment is that they will be unable to lie to themselves about what they are doing.

    Here are Dante’s levels of Hell, from The Inferno
    Portal: entranceway
    Acheron: river separating world from underworld
    Circle 1/Limbo: home of unbaptized
    Circle 2: home of “carnal sinners”
    Circle 3: home of the gluttonous
    Circle 4: home of the prodigal and avaricious
    Circle 5/Styx: home of the wrathful
    Dis: walled city containing the remainder of Hell
    Circle 6: heretics
    Circle 7: Phlegethon (those violent to neighbors), those who were violent to themselves, and those who were violent to nature and God
    Circle 8/Malebolge: has 10 deeper bastions, including Boldia, flatterers, buyers/sellers of pardons, fortunetellers, grafters, hypocrites, robbers, evil counslors, scandalmongers, liars
    Circle 9/Cocytus: a frozen lake, including a pit of giants and all traitors
    Center of the Earth: home of Lucifer

  2. Veeshir says:

    Yeah, I would have chosen the 9th circle myself.

    Read Larry Niven’s “Inferno”, it’s much more readable than Dante’s with a remarkably similar point.

  3. I put them in the seventh because I couldn’t remember how many circles there were. Nine works.

  4. Herschel says:

    These guys are a very small fringe group that is despised by almost all Jews, and all Jewish organizations.
    They are analogous to African/American Uncle Toms prior to the civil war stating that slavery was the best possible condition for Black people in America.
    The big question is who is funding them and their costly international trips?

  5. Alex Bensky says:

    Indeed, Meryl, I find Neturei Karta in many ways much more noxious and downright evil even than overt enemies of Jews. Same way I feel about Christian evangelists as opposed to Jews for Jesus, who had a number of people leafletting the Ann Arbor Art Fair yesterday.

    By the way, is someone keeping a list of things Obama says and does that the media would have considered reprehensible if Bush had done them? “He doesn’t mean this literally” is a polite way of saying, “He’s not telling the truth and he knows it,” which in more direct languge means he’s lying. This would be all over the papers and computer screens…rightly so…if Bush had done something like it.

    And yes, Meryl, from time to time I reflect that I really wish I subscribed to a religon that believed in a hell.

  6. Neturei Karta guarantee their place in Dante’s Seventh Circle: and I thought that it’s because of their latest shenanigans in Jerusalem that you have consigned them there…

Comments are closed.