Wily Jews may have found a cure for radiation poisoning

Wow, won’t this suck for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: If this is true, he can’t destroy Israel, after all.

Medication that can protect humans against nuclear radiation has been developed by Jewish-American scientists in cooperation with a researcher and investors from Israel. The full story behind the dramatic discovery will be published in Yedioth Ahronoth’s weekend edition.

The ground-breaking medication, developed by Professor Andrei Gudkov – Chief Scientific Officer at Cleveland BioLabs – may have far-reaching implications on the balance of power in the world, as states capable of providing their citizens with protection against radiation will enjoy a significant strategic advantage vis-à-vis their rivals.

You know, I really don’t know enough about the process to make a judgment, other than the facts that Jews found a vaccination for polio, developed the Intel microchip, firewalls, cellphones, instant messaging, drip-irrigation technology, the camera pill, the—well, you get the picture. And if you don’t, it’s right here.

Oh. And Jews were the driving force behind the Manhattan Project, which gave America nuclear weapons. And then there’s the whole Albert Einstein thing.

I sure hope this turns out to be true, because it will utterly change the rules of the game in the current drive by rogue states for nuclear weapons. Granted, it won’t stop them from being able to kill many thousands with one missile—but if radiation is no longer an issue, nuclear blackmail is over.

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6 Responses to Wily Jews may have found a cure for radiation poisoning

  1. Eric J says:

    At first I assumed that this was a “gasoline from water” situation and the reporter was being bamboozled. But this really has been published in Science. Wow.

  2. J says:

    Now all we need is a drug to protect our bodies against the effects of explosions.

    (One day, those drugs may be protectants against the unwanted effects of radiotherapy. Fat Man and Little Boy however were designed to multiply the explosive force of conventional bombs. The former killed 39’000 people immediately, the latter about 70’000 (about 30% of the population of Hiroshima). The victims died from physical traumata or burns.)

  3. Missing the point. The threat isn’t as much the bomb as the radiation. Granted, the bomb will kill many thousands. But so can ordinary missiles in large enough numbers. But the Arab world has been talking about how one bomb will destroy Israel—meaning the radiation. If the radiation threat is neutralized, it’s an absolute game-changer.

  4. This will also make it unnecessary to treat nuclear waste gingerly.

  5. annoyinglittletwerp says:

    I posted this video on my FaceBook -I DID mention that I first saw it here-and my cousin-law commented. that if you’re going to boycott Israel then you can’t listen to KISS.
    Not listen to Kiss?!!!

  6. J says:

    Meryl, let’s hope you’re right and the Arab world respectively Iran will think it an absolute game-changer, too. Could work if they are not aware of Israel’s size and the “distribution” of its population.

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