I got this in the mail (thanks, Eric!) and had to share.
You know you’re from New Jersey when….
You’ve been seriously injured at Action Park. Nope. Too smart to go there.
You know that the only people who call it “Joisey” are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.
You don’t think of citrus when people mention “The Oranges.”
You know that it’s called “Great Adventure,” not “Six Flags.”
You’ve ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
You’ve known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
You’ve eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am. And two. And four. And five. And six. Well, except for the drunk at five and six part.
Whenever you park, there’s a Camaro within three spots of you.
You remember that the “Two Guys” were from Harrison.
You know that the state isn’t one big oil refinery.
At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.Nope. Hate Bon Jovi.
You know what a “jug handle” is.
You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.
You know that the state isn’t all farmland.
You know that there are no “beaches” in new Jersey – there’s “The Shore,” and you know that the road to the shore is “The Parkway” not “The Garden State Highway.”
You know that “Piney” isn’t referring to a tree. I must have missed that reference growing up.
Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a “sub” not a “submarine sandwich” or worse yet, a “hoagy” or a “hero.” Nope. My school cafeteria made nothing good.
You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials. Palisades Amusement Park… swings all day… after dark… so come on over! (Went there, too.)
You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
You knew that the last question had to do with driving.
You know that “Acme” is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.
You know that this is the only “New…” state that doesn’t require “New” to identify it (like, try …Mexico, …York, …Hampshire (doesn’t work, does it?).
You know how to translate this conversation: “Jeet yet?” “No, Jew?” “There’s a new diner on Route 46 where the old Starlight used to be. Let’s check it out.”
You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it “The City.”
You know that a “White Castle” is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.
In the 80’s you wore your hair REALLY high. Never.
You don’t think “What exit” (do you live near?) is very funny.
You know that the real first “strip shopping center” in the country is Route 22. Shoulda seen the traffic on it on Black Friday. I drove past the entrance on the Parkway.
You know that people from 609 area code are “a little different.”
You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton – that’s for out-of-staters.
The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony. Only one?
You know where every “clip” shown in the Sopranos opening credits is. Never watched the show. Don’t care for mob shows at all.
You’ve gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall. More than once. Stupid, stupid design.
You’ve eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries. Ew. No.
You have a favorite Atlantic City casino. Ew. No.
You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
And finally…
You’ve never pumped your own gas. Well, now that I’m a Virginian… but it was pretty weird at first.
The ones I didn’t comment on can best be read by adding, “Well, duh!” or “Yup” to the end of them.
Heh. Some of that is familiar, but a lot seems more focused on North Jersey – that’s a different state entirely.
And… I think that many of my classmates at Princeton were perfectly respectable New Jerseyans, thank you very much :)
(I live in PA, but I’ve worked in NJ for about 8 years)
As a one-time Jersey resident, frequent visitor, and alumnus of that university where “no respectable New Jerseyan goes,” I got a big kick out of this post.
Thanks. New Jersey was my “old country” too. Lived on 22, exit 136 off the Parkway.
Exit 153B, and I don’t have to tell you which road.
I didn’t write the Princeton thing, Russ. I don’t know enough about it to know how true it is.
Hell, I’d have gone to Princeton if I had had the money, grades, and ambition. I went to Montclair State, the best state college (now a university, go figure).
You could delete maybe 4 or 5 and change that to “You know you live in NY when….”
One question, is Action Park still open? I loved that place but man, was it dangerous. The Alpine Slide thing was about fun but the horror show pics they had on the way up were brutal.
They also had the most fun/scary waterslides I’ve seen.
One where you fell for about 20 minutes, straight down without touching anything was guaranteed to stop your heart (and when you hit the water with your legs spread, your bathing suit hit your heart too), and the one where you went into a pitch-black tunnel and came out about 15 feet above a pool? Scary and cool.
Sorry, Meryl, you Jerseyans need some enlightenment shed on you from Michiganders. “White Castle” is the place; the product is properly called a “slider.”
And as long as we’lre at it, soft drinks genericallya re “pop.” “soda” has ice cream in it.
Veeshir, I’m pretty sure they shut down Action Park. Between the state coming down on them and the lawsuits, they gave up the water park in the summer and stuck to skiing in the winter.
But I haven’t lived in NJ since 2002, so I couldn’t say for sure.
Now, Busch Gardens has an awesome water park.
Alex, the proper name for a White Castle burger in NJ is actually “Ratburger.” The person that wrote this list didn’t come from my part of the state.
Alex:
I’m a Chicagoan-lucky me. heh.-and I lived in St.Louis for a year.
The first time I asked about pop the locals looked at me like I was speaking martian.lol
It’s sliders here too-and a group of 2 or more people is GUYS.
Despite the fact that I really have more of a midwestern accent my use of “guys” “pop” and Cubs gives me away every time.
Ha, ha…Loved this! Don’t forget “fi dolluhs” for five dollars. I spent ages 19-49 In NJ, Union, Irvington, Chatham, and New Providence.
I’m in the Wild West of Cochise County, Az now, and absolutely could NOT live “back east” again.
You do realize, Maggie, that those of us who were born in Newark and lived there and in Irvington for the first eleven years of our lives scoff at Chatham and New Providence as the sticks, don’t you?
Hell, I think of Nutley as the sticks.
Born in Newark?
I was too – at the Beth (Beth Israel Hospital)
Yes, Meryl, I realize that. LOL. I thought that, too.
I hate jughandles. WTF is wrong with the designers. It is a pain in the ass trying to make a proper left hand turn in that state.
Jug handles wouldn’t be so friggin bad if they were either at every turn or totally eliminated…unless you are a native, you never know which intersection has them so, you never know if you need to be in the right had lane or the left hand lane to make a left turn… I guess it gives the locals something to honk at! LOL ! Also, I didn’t see any mention of my beloved Jersey diner pork roll sandwiches!! What’s more Jersey than Thomsons pork rolls?!? And no mention of Sinatra or the boardwalk?!? What’s the world coming to?
And finally, as a girl born in Hackensack and raised in Somerset, here’s my contribution to the effort: Jersey, where they teach you the finger in driver’s ed…
-Jersey kisses,
Jenn
PS- my favorite Jersey joke: What’s the difference between trash and a Jersey girl? The trash gets taken out!