Jordan is one of the most moderate Islamic nations, we keep hearing. It’s an example of what most Muslim nations should aspire to become, or something. Ignore the honor killings, the fact that Jordan refuses to change the penalties for such killings to more than a slap on the wrist, and, well, the fact that honor killings keep seeming to happen. Jordan is moderate. Just ask anyone.

And now, they’ve arrested a poet on the charge of—wait for it—”insulting Islam.”

Jordanian police arrested a local writer Tuesday for incorporating verses of the Quran, the Muslim holy book, into his love poetry, a judicial official said.

The poet, Islam Samhan, published his collection of poems, “Grace like a Shadow,” without the approval of the Jordanian government, and authorities say it insults the holy book, the official said.

The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the media.

Samhan was charged with harming the Islamic faith and violating the press and publication law for combining the sacred words of the Quran with sexual themes.

If convicted, the poet could face up to three years in jail.

Jordanian law bans the publication of any books or articles that could be seen as harmful to Islam and its Prophet Muhammad.

Yep. Moderate. Why, they’re practically on the American level of freedom of religion and speech. In Bizarro World, anyway.

The Iranians have captured members of a spy ring that can go anywhere, and see anything, from the air: Pigeons.

Iranian media reported on Monday that security forces had seized two ’spy pigeons’ near the uranium enrichment facility in Natanz and a second location.

According to the report, One of the pigeons was caught near a rose water production plant in the city of Kashan in Isfahan province, the report cited an unnamed informed source as saying, adding that metal rings and invisible strings were attached to the bird.

“Early this month, a black pigeon was caught bearing a blue-coated metal ring, with invisible strings,” the source was quoted as saying.

Iranian sources said that “it is entirely possible that pigeons were used to spy on the nuclear facility in Natanz.” The birds were been handed over to defense officials, their fate is unknown.

I suspect they were turned over to a group of Iranian cats for interrogation and imprisonment.

It’s not the first time the Iranians broke up a ring of animal spies.

But this is not the first time the Islamic Republic has accused members of the animal kingdom of collaborating with its enemies. Last year the country’s media reported that 14 squirrels were arrested for espionage. “The squirrels were equipped with the spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services,” the IRNA news agency wrote.

Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report at the time.

And they wonder why there aren’t more Iranian Nobel prize winners. Hm. Let’s think of a reason why they may be so backwards.

Lest you think that this is too ridiculous to be true, let me give you one of the latest stories from IRNA:

Iran on Tuesday said the British Broadcasting Corporation has recently ignored international laws and has established suspicious relations with several dissidents.

The deputy culture and Islamic guidance minister, in a statement, said, according to received reports, the BBC Persian language network has been trying to absorb dissidents and those with anti-intelligence records.

Batshit crazy. The Iranians are effing batshit crazy. And these are the people that are trying to get the bomb. Wonderful.