Boobies?

When all else fails, PETA is using boobies to draw attention to themselves.

Burlington, Vt. – This morning, PETA dispatched a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of ice cream icon Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc., urging them to replace the cow’s milk in their products with human breast milk. PETA’s request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow’s milk in the food he serves. PETA points out to Cohen and Greenfield that such a move on their part would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health at the same time.

“The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.”

I predict a torrent of shuddering, followed by a deluge of laughter, ending in udder failure. (Why, yes, I did have to make that pun. Why do you ask?)

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15 Responses to Boobies?

  1. Tzvi says:

    Just keep pulling away and milk it for all you can get.

  2. cliff was from montreal says:

    Hum, I see, so she is asking to use human milk and let human babies starve.
    Am I on the right planet?

  3. I was going to say something about PETA being managed by some bovine characters, but then realized that it could be construed as an insult to cows… and bulls, too.

  4. Jay Tea says:

    How will they safely store the product, once collected?

    They’re going to need tanks for the mammaries…

    Thank you, folks, I’ll be here all week.

    J.

  5. Well, it would eliminate the kosher market for the ice cream. However, PETA would no longer object to having the producers of the milk kept in stalls in barns and “treated like animals”. Of course, no PETA members would be able to work for Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc. as their milk would be rejected by the FDA. Thew fear would be that it would infect the consumer with the stupidity disease that they have.

  6. Soccerdad says:

    Currently Ben and Jerry’s features pictures of cows on their cartons. What pictures would they feature on the cartons if they make this change? It could become very popular with the male population.

    :-)

  7. Elisson says:

    Such a move would “lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health at the same time”?

    Replacing it with the suffering of human women and their babies… Sounds like a plan to me.

    Gag factor aside, human breast milk can’t replace cow’s milk. It’s perfect for babies, but you cannot, for example, make cheese from it. The proteins behave differently.

    We already have IEATAPETA Day, thanks to Meryl. I guess it’s time for International Drink a (Cow’s) Milkshake for PETA Day, too.

  8. Rahel says:

    And how they’d do the inspection and regulation of the product….

    The mind boggles.

    (I’d suggest goats’ milk as a possible alternative, but PETA might eat me alive….)

  9. Alex Bensky says:

    Of all PETA’s ideas, this one deserves the booby prize. We should nipple it in the bud. Even to suggest it takes a ot of bras(s). I hope it gains no support.

  10. The Doctor says:

    Let’s have them rethink some of the flavor names. Does one even want to think about the Chubby Hubby getting chubby on breast milk?

  11. Meryl I think you got your words mixed up. They are using breasts. Ben and Jerry ARE Boobs

  12. Dave says:

    Let me see if I understand this. PETA wants to remove the cows from the stalls and replace them with women???? Milk the women for six ounces of their breast milk 5-6 times a day.

  13. Jeff says:

    This is just wrong for so many reasons, the first being that there is a shortage of breast milk for those that actually need it, babies, especially babies in NICU’s whose mother’s have trouble producing milk.

    More information.

  14. Michael Lonie says:

    You know, if the cows were not giving milk there would be no reason to keep them around, so they would be slaughtered for meat. Is that what PETA wants? PETA seems to have less forsight than a small oyster. I guess you have to be stupid to hold their ideas.

  15. Robert says:

    The really funny part is they don’t seem to realize that “Ben and Jerry” don’t actually own “Ben and Jerry” anymore. It’s owned by Good Humor, which in turn is owned by Unalever, an international Corporate conglomerate.

    I guess knowing how the world works isn’t a requirement for the Moonbat Left!

    Robert

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