The hardest thing for me is to watch Tig literally shrink before my eyes every day. I can’t stand to pet him along his back. He is even bonier than he was the last time I wrote about being able to feel his every vertebra. Today, I tried to get him to do his prize trick; the one I taught him years ago, and that he has never failed to do for me, even though he sometimes makes me coax for a long time: He didn’t stand on his hind legs when I asked. I think he can’t. He is very weak. He’s barely eating. I can’t get him to eat. And since he won’t—or can’t—eat, his death is going to come that much sooner.

He used to follow me everywhere. If I went upstairs for something, he’d follow me upstairs. If I went to the bathroom, he’d follow me to the bathroom. When I took a shower, he’d push the door open as soon as the water stopped. When I took a bath, he’d stand on the toilet seat or the side of the tub and yowl at me. He slept on one of the chairs next to me while I worked at the kitchen table. When I watched TV in my chair, he napped in my lap. If I went upstairs for a midday nap, he did, too. When I went outside, if he wasn’t in sight, I’d call or whistle for him, and he’d come running. Running. He could be a hundred feet away, but he’d be here in a flash when I called his name. When I went outside to clean out my car, he’d stay and watch me. If I sat on the steps to tie my shoelace, he’d rub against my legs. I was and am the center of his universe. He’d sit out on the patio in good weather and “ping” me. It was extremely rare for me to lose sight of Tig altogether, except when he took his afternoon naps in my bed, or on the closet shelf.

Now, I have to hunt for him in the few spots left where he feels comfortable. He doesn’t sleep on the sofa anymore, or the chair, or the kitchen chairs, or the kitty condo. He doesn’t go in my bedroom at all. He was sleeping on one of the boxes in my office, but now he sleeps downstairs, either in or on his cat carrier, or on the bottom of my microwave cart. His world has contracted to those spaces and the outdoors. I let him out whenever I’m home now. He’s been hanging out on the neighbors’ patios, but they haven’t seemed to notice. If he’s around the corner, I whistle for him and call his name, and he comes walking. Slowly.

I think this week is it for him. I can’t stand to see him get much worse. He’s still barely eating, losing weight, and showing more of the effects of CRF. He’s started drooling now. He has mouth or stomach ulcers, which explains the lack of appetite. The pepcid didn’t seem to help. And the thing is, I can’t take the roller coaster much longer. This Tig is a pale shadow of the happy, goofy, healthy cat I used to have. I don’t think just existing is enough. He seems to be just existing these days. And I really don’t think I want to wait until his legs give out on him. I think I need to let him go.

I want to remember him like this. This was taken last week. I don’t want to remember Tig as unable to walk. Or crying in pain.

I think I need to let him go.

Lightness of Being

The bright sun dissects the airglow above Earth’s horizon in this view photographed with a digital still camera from the Space Shuttle Columbia during the STS-107 mission.Space Shuttle Columbia and the STS-107 crew perished during re-entry on Feb. 1, 2003.

Image Credit: NASA

Israeli forensic expert solves mystery of Ilan Ramon’s diary

“Once we started to examine the papers, we saw that they could split into three categories. On eight pages, you could see the writing clearly, it hadn’t been washed out. The pages were curled up and tattered, and it was like working on a jigsaw puzzle putting the fragments back into place. Just to know where to orient the fragments, I had to try every single permutation and combination. It took a few weeks to put the puzzle of those eight pages back together,” said Brown.Once completed, Brown photographed the pages and sent them to Rona Ramon who was back in Houston at the time.

One of the pages contained the handwritten Sabbath prayer of the wine - the kiddush - which Ramon had written out in order to be the first Jew to recite the blessing in space. Brown said that because of her religious background, she was able to piece together the scattered letters that remain on the page.

“When I speak about the diary to a non-religious audience and I say ‘I found this word, this word, and this word - what could this document be?’ They usually don’t know, but when I ask the question to a religious audience, they answer right away - ‘it’s the Kiddush.’

Crossposted on Soccer Dad.

Wow, the people of south Richmond almost rose up en masse and headed for Comcast HQ with tar and feathers.

The cable went out. Internet and TV. About an hour ago.

Lucky for Comcast, it was fixed in about 20 minutes.

Mind you, I’m not watching the game. I stopped caring about sports ages ago. There’s not even a “sports” category on my blog.

I’ve come a long way from the girl who could recite the 1976, 1977, 1978, 1979, and 1980 Yankees lineups.

The fix was in. Hamas smuggled large numbers of advanced weapons into Gaza once the Rafah border was down.

Hamas’s breach of the security fence along the Egypt-Gaza border has resulted in the smuggling of a large amount of advanced weaponry, including long-range rockets, anti-tank missiles, and anti-aircraft missiles, Shin Bet (Israel Security Agency) head Yuval Diskin said in his briefing to ministers during Sunday’s cabinet meeting.

And if that isn’t enough, Iranian-trained terrorists joined the population of Gaza.

In a sobering assessment of the situation, Diskin said that the breach also allowed dozens of operatives from all of the different terror organizations in Syria, Iran, and Egypt to infiltrate into Gaza. He said that these operatives were likely trained in Iran, and crossed the border with the aim of upgrading terror attacks against Israel.

Israel cannot trust her security to anyone else. Time and again, the world has proved that it has no problem with dead Jews.

Obviously, this did not happen at rush hour. They’d have been knocked flat by the crowd otherwise.

Flash mobs are apparently the actor’s greatest friends.

Monopoly - the board game - is looking for a new cities to feature. (The classic game, of course, is based on Atlantic City New Jersey.) If I understand the goal, Hasbro/Parker Brothers is looking for 20 cities to feature in a global Monopoly game. The top 20 cities of 68 pre-selected cities will make it onto the board. Also a later round of voting will net two “wildcard” cities for inclusion. (If you want you may nominate a city to be one of the wildcard cities, but this has no bearing on the 20 main cities.)Right now Jerusalem is ranked at 26, so why not register and vote for Jerusalem? You may vote once a day. (The website is not very easy to navigate.)

I should have realized that Yehuda would have something to say about this. He’s skeptical.

Crossposted on Soccer Dad.