You simply can’t make this stuff up.

GAZA (Reuters) - Israel killed four Palestinian gunmen in the Gaza Strip on Sunday, two in a ground assault and two in an air strike against militants launching rockets at the Jewish state, Palestinian witnesses and medics said.

The violence was the worst in coastal Gaza in 10 days, and came a day before Tony Blair makes his first visit to the region as envoy to the Quartet of Middle East power brokers.

Ohmigod! The violence was the worst in ten days! Wow, mark that down on your calendar! And it happened the day before Tony Blair is to visit the region! Surely that must mean something huge.

Really, can Reuters reports get any more stupid? Do they have to add meaningless context phrases to make the news seem bigger or more important or whatever else they’re trying to achieve?

Or perhaps the author is trying to get a job writing for the Colbert Report.

Imagine, if you will, that the Israeli border police fired on Sudanese refugees sneaking across the border from Egypt. Now imagine what would happen if they killed a woman and critically injured four others, including women and children. Now imagine the number of headlines screaming about it in the world media.

That is exactly what happened yesterday, only it wasn’t Israelis that killed a Sudanese woman trying to sneak into Israel. It was the Egyptian border police.

Egyptian police shot and killed a Sudanese woman and seriously wounded four others Sunday on the Sinai Peninsula as they tried to sneak into Israel, a local police officer said.

Many refugees trying to enter Israel from Egypt have been arrested, and some wounded, by police, but Haja Abbas Haroun’s death was the first of its kind.

Note how the AP does not quote exact numbers, which it does in every article describing dead Palestinians (or Iraqi civilians or American soldiers in Iraq, for that matter). A general “many … have been arrested” and “some wounded” suffices. Here’s where you get numbers, in the very last paragraph of the article:

Many Sudanese find life difficult in Egypt, a country that struggles to provide jobs and social services for a growing refugee population. Egyptian riot police violently cleared a refugee encampment in central Cairo in 2005, killing nearly 30 people.

Go search on articles about Israel’s care of Sudanese refugees from the last few weeks, and you will see a markedly higher number of articles. There was a spate of articles all over after Israel said it would return to Egypt any Sudanese refugees that got into Israel. Funny how the treatment of Sudanese refugees in Egypt merits almost no world notice—until those refugees flee to Israel, where they know they will find better treatment.

It’s also a mystery to me as to why the UN doesn’t work with Israel to take care of the Darfur refugees. Oh, wait. They’re already taking care of the refugees in Egypt, and they’re doing such a great job, the refugees are fleeing to Israel instead.

I’m conflicted about this issue. On the one hand, the refugees need to be taken care of, and as Jews, it is our responsibility to take care of those in need. But Israel has more than enough on her plate these days, and she has her own problems with poverty and joblessness. Where will Israel find the funds and human resources to take care of an influx of Sudanese refugees?

This is clearly a case of the UN not doing its job, and the world having a separate standard for Israel and for the rest of the world. There will be no uproar from the UN, and very little from human rights organizations, over this incident. Haja Abbas Haroun will be buried and forgotten—because Israelis didn’t kill her. So there’s no need for outrage.

Israeli Double Standard Time: It’s in effect every day of the week that ends in “y.”

For Harry Potter fans, here’s a video of the author reading the first chapter of The Deathly Hallows. She’s a good reader. Authors used to read their books as a matter of course in the days when authors went on tour like rock stars. That pretty much ended in the early twentieth century. Shame.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad took a trip to Syria and met up with the local bad boys, promising death and destruction for Israel in America in, of course, vaguely-worded terms that the Juan Coles of the world will use to say he doesn’t really mean he wants to destroy Israel.

At a joint press conference with Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said that “Syria and Iran are aspiring for this summer to be hot by virtue of the victories that will be attained by the peoples of the region… and the enemies of the peoples of the region are on their way to perdition and defeat.”

You see? It doesn’t mean that Hezbollah is going to launch attacks on Israel, or that Hamas is going to launch attacks on Israel, or that Iranian soldiers will be in Lebanon and Gaza launching attacks on Israel, and in Iraq launching attacks on America. It just means that the summer is going to be a hot one. Literally. Get it?

And Iran is denying that it’s going to give Syria a secret $1 billion arms deal.

Iran will lay out $1 billion to procure for Syria advanced weapons and assist it in nuclear research and the development of chemical weapons, according to a report published yesterday in the London-based daily Al-Shark al-Awsat.

The reports says the strategic cooperation agreement between Damascus and Tehran was signed during the visit late last week by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to Syria. The report describes the cooperation between the countries as including military, economic, scientific and technical aspects.

Because what possible reason could there be for Iran to help Syria arm itself into a country that could threaten, oh, Israel and Iraq?

The military cooperation includes Iranian funding for the procurement from Russia of MiG-31 fighter planes, Sukhoi-24 attack aircraft, helicopters and T-72 tanks. Iran will also provide Syria with technical assistance in nuclear research and the development of chemical weapons.

Relations between the two countries have become increasingly close since the coming of Bashar Assad to power in 2000.

According to reports, Iranian pilgrims visit holy sites in Syria and are renovating them, while Iranian investors have made inroads in the Syrian economy. The newspaper states that the ties between the two countries are extensive and constitute a major upgrade in their relations.

There’s nothing to fear. You see? It’s all just religion.

In addition to the procurement of arms for Syria, Iran has promised to build a factory for the manufacture of medium-range missiles in Syria, and buy more arms on its behalf from Belarus and North Korea. Iran will also supply Syria with armored vehicles and tanks made by its local military industries, as well as missiles for the Syrian navy. Syrian naval and air force officers have also been invited to participate in training in Iran.

The report in Saudi-owned Al-Shark al-Awsat was written by Ali Reza Nourizadeh, a well-known Iranian opposition figure who recently wrote extensively on the defection to the West of a senior Iranian General, Ali Askari.

That was the report. Now here’s the denial. (And please note how the AP practically issues Iran’s press release for them.)

Iran’s foreign ministry spokesman on Sunday dismissed as a “media game” recent reports of a secret arms deal with Syria allegedly made in return for an agreement that Damascus would not hold peace talks with Israel.

Mohammad Ali Hosseini refused to provide confirmation of the deal and questioned how the media would know about it if it was confidential.

“This is a media game,” said Hosseini during his weekly news briefing. “It is not confirmed.”

The Arabic newspaper Asharq al-Awsat reported Saturday that Iran would provide $1 billion to Syria for advanced weapons procurement and would assist the country with nuclear research and the development of chemical weapons, with the understanding that Damascus would not negotiate peace with Israel.

Let us note that paragraph four contains the information on the deal, and that most “World News” sections of your local paper carry only the first three paragraphs of the AP story, and rarely more than five.

The most interesting analysis on the arms deal comes from Ha’aretz:

The report of Iranian opposition figure Dr. Ali Reza Nourizadeh in the London-based daily Asharq Al-Awsat regarding the arms deal between Iran and Syria should be read with great caution.

First, the figures: in order to procure the weapons and equipment mentioned in the report, especially the MiG-31E fighters and the 400 T-72 tanks, Syria needs four or five times the sum that it is allegedly receiving from Iran. Syria still owes Russia $3.6 billion (even after Russia wiped out 70 percent of Syria’s debt for 2005). So, where will Syria find $4 billion to fund the rest of the deal? There is no answer to this conundrum.

Is this even a new deal, or one which the Russian daily Kommersant reported in June? According to that report, Syria began delivery of MiG-31 fighters — an upgraded version of a fighter whose production stopped in 1994, and the deliveries are being made with aircraft from Russian air force stock. The Kommersant report said that a deal including MiG-31 and MiG-29M fighters was worth $1 billion, and claimed that the real end-user was Iran, with Damascus serving as a “straw company” that will only keep a portion of the aircraft.

Here’s the part that really makes you go “Hmmm”:

The defense agreement between Syria and Iran allows Tehran to keep its aircraft in Iran, with Syrian emblems and registry, but at Iran’s disposal. If this is the same deal reported in June, it is best to examine whether Russia, more than Iran, is the bad guy in the story, since such a deal means that Moscow is violating the United Nations sanctions against Iran.

That actually makes a lot of sense. The deal could very well be a way for Iran to get around international sanctions. But even so, it is in Iran’s best interests to prop up the Syrian government—so even if this analysis is right, Syria probably still gets a boost to its army as part of the price of the cover story.

There is also a report that Ahmadinejad paid Hamas millions of dollars to keep Gilad Shalit at least through the summer. Hamas, of course, denies this.

Abu Obeida, the group’s armed wing’s spokesman, denied reports that Iran had paid millions of dollars to Hamas leader in Syria Khaled Mashaal to hinder the release.

It’s Israel’s fault that the kidnapped soldier isn’t being released, you see.

A Hamas spokesman in Gaza said that the claims were baseless and that it was Israel who was the cause of a setback in talks for a prisoner exchange. If Israel would accept the deal’s conditions, Hamas would be ready to find a solution today, said the spokesman.

Taken all together, the news is not good. Iran continues in its path to control the Middle East, and the world continues in its path to cover its eyes and ears and say “I can’t hear you, la la la, what did you say?”

There was also a recent report that Iran would launch missiles at Israel if the U.S. or Israel attacks its nuclear plants. Hey, it worked for Iraq, which launched missiles at Israel with utter impunity. This time, I suspect, there would be retaliatory missiles from Israel. No way that ends well. In fact, the only way this whole scenario ends well is if Iranians get the gumption to overthrow their Mullahcracy. And I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

One of the successes of the Second Lebanon War that Olmert points to is the fact that Hezbollah said no to international peacekeeping forces in Lebanon, and they were sent anyway. How successful has this big success been in disarming Hezbollah?

Not so much.

Hezbollah has moved its short-range Katyusha rockets into built-up areas in southern Lebanon, mostly in Shi’ite villages, to hide them from the United Nations Interim Force in Lebanon (UNIFIL), military sources say.

Since its reinforced deployment after the cease-fire last August, UNIFIL has carried out extensive searches in southern Lebanon’s open brush areas, where Hezbollah built up extensive underground fortifications and set up launch pads for its rocket attacks against Israel.

In recent months, more than 90 percent of these areas have been searched, and UNIFIL patrols have found and destroyed Hezbollah arms, including Katyusha launchers, Katyusha rockets and explosives.

[...] During searches after the war, 33 such areas - which the Israel Defense Forces euphemistically terms “nature reserves” - were located. These included bunkers and underground tunnels, some of which are sufficiently complex to include sub-systems, all built by Hezbollah south of the Litani River during the six years following the IDF withdrawal from southern Lebanon. Most of the rockets fired against Israel during the war last year were launched from the “nature reserves.”

Gee, that sounds great. So what’s the problem? Well, Hezbollah’s simply moving the missiles around like chess pieces.

The UNIFIL searches have revealed that the condition of the bunkers and fortifications in the “nature reserves” has deteriorated - suggesting that Hezbollah fighters have not tried to return to these permanently. However, it is also clear that some Hezbollah fighters do occasionally return to the area to maintain some of the fortifications.

As an alternative to the “nature reserves,” Hezbollah is trying to transfer significant numbers of its rockets into built-up areas, mostly in the dozens of Shi’ite villages south of the Litani.

Most of the organization’s long-range rockets are kept north of the river, but there is a continuous effort to smuggle missiles into southern Lebanon, controlled by UNIFIL.

Israel has recently issued a number of warnings to Lebanon that if in the future there is an outbreak of hostilities and Hezbollah launches rockets from built-up areas, the IDF will not hesitate to bomb - and even totally destroy - urban areas after it gives Lebanese civilians the chance to flee.

I can see the headlines now. Hell, they’re probably already written and waiting for the next war.

Funny how you never hear that Hezbollah is in violation of UNSCR 1701 in every AP story about Hezbollah’s weapons. It’s almost as if the only country that matters when discussing UN Resolutions is Israel.

Really brutal, but worth it.

Between that and the second season of Battlestar Galactica, Saturday was a no-posting day.

Sleep would be nice now.