The Transnational Old Farts Israel-Haters Club

Be afraid. Be very afraid. The Israel-haters and anti-Americans have a new club.

Nelson Mandela and five other senior statesmen will today form themselves into a team of international troubleshooters called “The Elders”.

The initiative, funded by Sir Richard Branson, will be launched in Johannesburg during celebrations marking Mr Mandela’s 89th birthday.

The former South African president, who spent 27 years behind bars during the apartheid era, is a figure with unparalleled moral authority.

The idea is that he will team up with Jimmy Carter, the former US president, Kofi Annan, the former United Nations secretary-general, Mary Robinson, the former Irish president, Desmond Tutu, the Archbishop Emeritus of Cape Town and Mohammed Yunus, the Nobel Laureate and founder of the Green Bank in Bangladesh.

Okay, I don’t actually know much about Mohammed Yunus beyond his Nobel Peace prize for giving microloans to the poor (an idea which I wholeheartedly support) so they can create their own businesses and be poor no more. He gets a bye. But the others?

The membership of The Elders has been carefully chosen. Each one is a non-partisan figure with a rolodex packed with international contacts.

“This group can speak freely and boldly, working both publicly and behind the scenes on whatever actions need to be taken,” said Mr Mandela in a statement.

Shyeah. I’ll bet they’re going to speak freely, and it will mostly be against Israel and the United States. Here’s a look at their previous [kaff] non-partisanship:

Mary Robinson, who led the UN Human Rights Commission during the infamous Durban conference: Anti-Israel. Anti-Israel. Anti-Israel.

Jimmy Carter, whose latest anti-Israel screed is a best-seller: Anti-Israel. Anti-Israel. Anti-Israel.

Nelson Mandela, who never met a Palestinian terrorist he didn’t like: Anti-Israel. Anti-American.

Desmond Tutu, who thinks all the world’s problems can be traced to the U.S. and Israel: Anti-Israel. Anti-Israel. Anti-Semitic?

Non-partisan my ass. I suppose the best thing I can say about this new “council of elders” is that with any luck, they’ll be dropping like flies due to their advanced ages.

Exit question: How long before their first anti-Israel statement is released? Let’s start a pool.

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16 Responses to The Transnational Old Farts Israel-Haters Club

  1. Dave Katz says:

    I say their first statement is within days of their first meeting whenever that is. This is probably just another way for them to line their pockets.

    My question is why Sir Richard Branson is supporting this hodge-podge?

  2. s1gins says:

    If they have held a news conference you can bet they have already stated Israel is the cause of the world’s ills.

  3. s1gins says:

    If they have held a news conference you can bet they have already stated Israel is the cause of the world’s ills. So i will take 10 minutes ago in the pool!

  4. Lady-Light says:

    I haven’t picked myself up yet from rolling on the floor and peeing in my pants.
    Cutting straignt to the point is an understatement. Keep ’em coming, Meryl.

  5. They’re calling themselves the “Elders”???? You have to be kidding. How on earth can we satirise satire?

  6. Sabba Hillel says:

    You mean the first antiIsrael statement wasn’t part of the initial announcement?

    (:-o

  7. Hugh says:

    It’s a shame that Israel doesn’t have the clout to declare each of them, including Branson, as persona non grata within her territory.

    Then again, such an act would upset Shimon Peres.

  8. Cameron says:

    I suppose a comic called “League of Extraordinary Anti-Semites” could be made out of this.

  9. velvel of decatur says:

    I say that Hugh is almost correct: these senile nits and Branson their puppeteer should all be called out as menaces to all but situational morality. Jimmy ought to be slinging his hammer on a roof, Mandela should go necktie himself, and Tutu should advise the LA Archdiocese on how to appear moral while being anything but. And if the former UN were really honest she would give all her money away and follow in Mother Teresa’s footsteps—helping the homeless. But they won’t and fools will keep buying their ghostwritten semiliterate books.

  10. Ed Hausman says:

    The Elders have a motto waiting for them: Gravitas – Auctoritas – Senilitas.

    Now we need a logo with the motto’s initials tastefully highlighted.

  11. Chris L. says:

    Mark Steyn linked to the LA Times article at the Corner where he mentions Peter Gabriel’s involvement in this Elders thing. Puh-lease. And I downloaded a Peter Gabriel song a few week ago too. Now this guy is disappointing.

  12. Tomer Israeli says:

    I guess that’s a reason for me to go out there once again and shoot another nun in the back.

    No, wait, that’s not how I react to criticism… Well, I guess it’s a good thing they criticize what I believe in and not what Usama Bin Laden believes in! Nuns are saved!

  13. Peter Gabriel was forever ruined for me by an ex-boyfriend who turned stalker, I’m sorry to say. Gabriel’s presence at the party was just a shoulder-shrug to me.

    “So” was my favorite album of his. I still can’t really listen to it.

  14. Tatterdemalian says:

    No doubt the name was chosen to provide an alternative to, and thus emphasize their opposition to, “The Elders of Zion,” without making it too obvious that they actually believe in judenhass propaganda.

    I hope some terrorist they try to negotiate with fails to grasp the subtle difference, and blows the lot of them to hell.

  15. Joel says:

    I would like to have the Depends concession whenever those incontinent old fools meet.

  16. Joel says:

    Hey as long as the Kinks aren’t involved with this I could not care less about Peter Gabriel.

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