I hate bugs. I really hate bugs. And I really hate that this species of cricket looks like a cockroach, and one of them was on my counter a few minutes ago, and that I had to spend a good few minutes chasing it around the kitchen counter, trapping it beneath the Rubbermaid mat, then getting it out of there and in the sink and out of the sink until finally, I—wait a minute. I know it got on the floor, and I know that I slammed my catch-and-release cup over it, but I’ll be damned if I can remember how it got on the floor. Oh, wait. There was a pot and my trying to smash/grab it, and somehow it got swept off the counter and it ran along the cabinet until I swept it out with the pot and then clamped the cup over it.

And while I took a breath to recover and shudder a bit, Tig wandered over to the kitchen and said, “Hey, there’s something under this cup,” causing me to shriek “Get away from that! Out! Out!” and causing him to say, “What-EVER. Geez. Crazy human.”

Then I studied the cup, sure that the cricket was big enough to start moving it like a turtle’s shell, trying to figure out what to put under it so that the cricket wouldn’t get away before I got it out of the house. A nice, stiff piece of cardboard, I thought, but y’know, there’s never any cardboard around when you really need it. So I went to my clutter shelf, and decided that a CD would do. Myst? Nah, I may actually play that thing again someday. Five-year-old TurboTax? Perfect. In a soft plastic sleeve, too, so it’d fit nicely under the cup. Slid it under, decided back door, not front, and then picked up the cup, with the cricket fluttering madly inside. Out we went, to the edge of my patio, so it couldn’t fly right back in the door, move CD, throw cup madly so cricket is flung away from the house, then retreat quickly indoors.

Yeah, go ahead, laugh. But while you’re laughing, go check out this picture, and let me assure you that the cricket was a good two to three inches long, and I could see every little bit of it while it was standing on my butterknife, presumably eating the butter on the end of it.

This is why I have a bugs category. Summertime in Richmond is filled with bugs. And may I say: Ew.

Couldn’t resist taking the Harry Potter quiz

You scored as Harry Potter. You can be a little reckless and hot-headed at times, but a more brave and courageous friend would be hard to find. Harry Potter 95% Sirius Black 85% Remus Lupin 80% Ginny Weasley 80% Ron Weasley 75% Albus Dumbledore 70% Hermione Granger 70% Draco Malfoy 65% Severus Snape 55% Lord Voldemort 30%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is…? created with QuizFarm.com

Damn. Who knew?

Sorena reports that she is Dumbledore.

Folks, for some reason that I cannot fathom, comments are heading into the spam queue that don’t belong there. I’ve manually retrieved a few over the last week or so. If yours head there and it shouldn’t, give me a bit of time to catch it. If it keeps happening, send me an email.

The Iranian press issues propaganda statements on a daily basis. I read them when they come across my radar, or when I want to see what’s going on in the official version of “truth” in Iran. But I don’t believe them, and most legitimate newspapers don’t pass along their propaganda as news.

Last week, I saw that the Iranian press was touting the refusal of Iranian Jews to emigrate to Israel in spite of having cash incentives dangled in front of them. Knowing that Iranian Jews are not free to emigrate, in spite of the official statements to the contrary, I wondered if any legitimate newspaper wouold pick up the story as is.

The Guardian did.

Iran’s Jews have given the country a loyalty pledge in the face of cash offers aimed at encouraging them to move to Israel, the arch-enemy of its Islamic rulers.

The incentives - ranging from £5,000 a person to £30,000 for families - were offered from a special fund established by wealthy expatriate Jews in an effort to prompt a mass migration to Israel among Iran’s 25,000-strong Jewish community. The offers were made with Israel’s official blessing and were additional to the usual state packages it provides to Jews emigrating from the diaspora.

However, the Society of Iranian Jews dismissed them as “immature political enticements” and said their national identity was not for sale.

“The identity of Iranian Jews is not tradable for any amount of money,” the society said in a statement. “Iranian Jews are among the most ancient Iranians. Iran’s Jews love their Iranian identity and their culture, so threats and this immature political enticement will not achieve their aim of wiping out the identity of Iranian Jews.”

Iran is not a free society for anyone, but especially not for Jews.

In the remaining schools, Jewish principals have been replaced by Muslims. In Teheran there are still three schools in which Jewish pupils constitute a majority. The curriculum is Islamic, and Persian is forbidden as the language of instruction for Jewish studies. Special Hebrew lessons are conducted on Fridays by the Orthodox Otzar ha-Torah organization, which is responsible for Jewish religious education. Saturday is no longer officially recognized as the Jewish sabbath, and Jewish pupils are compelled to attend school on that day. There are three synagogues in Teheran, but since 1994, there has been no rabbi in Iran, and the bet din does not function.

Jews are frequently arrested as spies for Israel. The Guardian acknowledges the difficulty that Iranian Jews have in simply living their lives by adding this grudging paragraph at the very end of the article:

Hostility between Iran’s government and Israel means Iranian Jews are often subject to official mistrust and scrutiny.

Let me put that “official mistrust and scrutiny” into more clear terms: Iranian Jews are not allowed to emigrate. If a family wants to go out of the country on vacation, they may not all leave. They must leave at least one family member as a hostage so they won’t flee to another country.

The Jewish community does enjoy a measure of religious freedom but is faced with constant suspicion of cooperating with the Zionist state and with “imperialistic America” — both such activities are punishable by death. Jews who apply for a passport to travel abroad must do so in a special bureau and are immediately put under surveillance. The government does not generally allow all members of a family to travel abroad at the same time to prevent Jewish emigration.

But it’s good to know that the Guardian is on top of the issues that it writes about so frequently. Sure. Free people making a free choice about refusing scads of money to emigrate to Israel. It’s the Iranian propaganda line. And only one “legitimate” newspaper managed to fall for it.