The Quartet reaffirmed its statements regarding its support for a Palestinian Government committed to non-violence, recognition of Israel and acceptance of previous agreements and obligations, including the Road Map, and encouraged progress in this direction.

We have no new ideas.

The Quartet discussed efforts under way for a Palestinian national unity Government, pursuant to the agreement reached in Mecca on 8 February. The Quartet expressed its appreciation for the role of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia and the cessation of violence among Palestinians.

Now that you guys are back to killing each other in onesies and twosies instead of having running gun battles, we can resume pretending these talks mean something. And with King Abdullah providing for such excellent accommodations, it is imperative that these talks continue. Kobe beef doesn’t just eat itself.

It welcomed preliminary ideas put forward by the European Commission to meet the needs to better coordinate and mobilize international assistance in support of the political process and to meet the needs of the Palestinian people.

We really want to give you more money. Please don’t kill our people while they’re bringing it to you. It’s very difficult to explain to their parents.

The Quartet reaffirmed its commitment to meet regularly and asked envoys to monitor developments and actions taken by the parties and to discuss the way ahead. It was agreed to schedule a meeting in the region soon.

We need to find a couple NGO Rangers to head into Gaza and the West Bank. We’re certainly not setting foot there. Or in Israel, that stamp on our passports would cause unending delays the next time we have to stop by Riyadh and pick up our checks consult with King Abdullah. We’ll be in Dubai. When are they opening that cool underwater hotel?