This week’s edition of Shire Network News features the first of a two-part interview with Walid Phares, discussing his new book, Future Jihad, and the search for moderate Muslims.

Lair Simon’s cat, Piper, died this morning.

I think we need to mourn them as much as we mourn people. So Lair, here’s the Kaddish for Piper:

Yitgadal v’yitkadash sh’mei raba b’alma di-v’ra chirutei, v’yamlich malchutei b’chayeichon uvyomeichon uvchayei d’chol beit yisrael, ba’agala uvizman kariv, v’im’ru: “amen.”

Y’hei sh’mei raba m’varach l’alam ul’almei almaya.

Yitbarach v’yishtabach, v’yitpa’ar v’yitromam v’yitnaseh, v’yithadar v’yit’aleh v’yit’halal sh’mei d’kud’sha, b’rich hu, l’eila min-kol-birchata v’shirata, tushb’chata v’nechemata da’amiran b’alma, v’im’ru: “amen.”

Y’hei shlama raba min-sh’maya v’chayim aleinu v’al-kol-yisrael, v’im’ru: “amen.”

Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu v’al kol-yisrael, v’imru: “amen.”

Update: I am giving extra hugs and attention to Tig and Gracie.

I’m so sorry, Lair.

From my brother, another article to lift the mood around here:

Man hides in box, robs Kmart of $80,000 in goods

Okay, we’re talking Kmart, a company not known for employing rocket scientists. And we’re talking thieves, a profession not known for including rocket scientists.

EAST BRUNSWICK — Making like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, a man hid inside a furniture box at Kmart until closing time and, according to police, swept the jewelry department nearly clean of merchandise early yesterday.

But it wasn’t a sentimental change of heart that foiled this heist.

First, an observation: This Grinch analogy falls completely flat. It’s not like the guy was trying to steal presents from a children’s charity. He was trying to steal jewelry. From Kmart.

Which leads us to my second observation: Oh, no! Not Kmart jewelry! Good heavens, what next? Target? Or—dare I say it—Kohl’s?

Lugging more than $80,000 of jewelry in a duffle bag stolen from the store and wearing a mask the suspect, Greg G. Giannotta, set off an alarm as he fled the Route 18 store, alerting police officers who were inspecting buildings nearby, police said.

As I said: Not the brightest bulb on the tree. Of course he tripped an alarm. All those stores have door alarms that are set, gee, when the store closes. And figuring it’s Kmart jewelry, I’m betting he had to “lug” that duffle bag. It was probably the giant economy size. I mean, what’s Kmart’s top seller go for? Are you ready for this? A 1/2ct tw Invisible-Set Princess Diamond Drop Pendant with Chain 14K Yellow Gold - Size 18 for $501. Hoo-baby! I want me one of those!

Wait, wait—I found one that’s fairly pricey after all. It’s a 1 carat diamond necklace, for the low, low price of $2268. I’m guessing, though, that there aren’t many of those in stock.

They saw Giannotta running from the store, but when he realized police spotted him, he attempted to walk casually, police said.

This guy’s a genius. The cops see him running from the store, carrying a duffle bag, so when he notices the police, he decides that if he only acts casually, they’ll think he was just running with a duffle bag to, oh, catch a bus, or something. But wait. It gets even funnier.

Giannotta went into the store about 8 p.m. Sunday, shoplifted tools for the burglary, a duffle bag and a full set of clothing to change into.

He then went to the furniture department and hid in the box, waiting for the store to
close. Sometime around midnight, Giannotta changed into the shoplifted clothes, emerged from the box and went to the jewelry section.

With employees still working in the store, Giannotta pried open the jewelry cases and loaded his duffle bag with gold and assorted jewelry.

“It was pretty much everything they had,” Strempek said.

An employee yelled for the manager to call 911, and Giannotta fled.

Remember, after running out of the store with the duffel bag filled with jewelry, he sees a police car—I assume with lights flashing—speed into the parking lot, so he slows down and tries to look casual. The result?

After a struggle, Giannotta, 36, of Old Forge, Pa., was arrested at 12:25 a.m.

They caught his accomplice a few hours later.

Well, we can all sleep more soundly now. The East Brunswick, NJ Kmart has its jewelry back. The crime against the store has been cracked. The crime against taste, well, there’s not much we can do about that.

I just thought of a test for the media who report on Israel.

Set up bureaus in Sderot.

Staff them.

Then report on how harmless the kassam rockets are.

Any takers? Reuters? AP? New York Times? Anyone? Anyone?

In his article Openly embracing prejudice (yes, again on comment is free, in that nest of, how to say it gently, the most virulent strain of debating societies), ever intrepid David Hirsh deconstructs the odious character of Gilad Atzmon.

I have followed David’s article, including the references to some quotes.

Yes, Atzmon says: “I would suggest that perhaps we should face it once and for all: the Jews were responsible for the killing of Jesus who, by the way, was himself a Palestinian Jew.” I am not sure whether to mention or not that a) the issue of responsibility for that act is still being bandied back and forth; b) the term “Palestinian” is so much “younger” than Jesus and calling Jesus a Palestinian Jew is witness to stupidity of the caller…

Yes, Atzmon says: “Hence, there is no room for comparison between Israel and the Nazis. If a comparison is to be made, then it is the Israelis who win the championship of ruthlessness and the reasons are obvious.” Should I mention that the only obvious thing is that Atzmon is deranged and that his “logic” is a logic of a person obsessed?

Yes, Atzmon says: “American Jewry makes any debate on whether the “Protocols of the elder of Zion” are an authentic document or rather a forgery irrelevant. American Jews (in fact Zionists) do control the world.” And yes, he pushes the same Elders of Zion crap. Although, deity knows, we (the Elders) could have done something about his foul mouth, what with us being on top of everything in this world.

In general - being a lover of jazz, blues and other stuff irrelevant to the subject, I stop short of purchasing a CD with that name figuring on it. I know that it is childish. After all, who would expect a talented sax player be an incarnation of Disraeli as well or, if that is too much to ask, Trotsky? Upon another thought I would even settle for Dan Quayle…

Atzmon’s site is an artless weave of logically disconnected statements, of stammering attempts to build a mini-philosophy on faulty facts and borrowed (even from Fisk!) slogans. His credo is as limited as his brain, and without doubt a good debater with half a brain (which is ten times as much as Atzmon possesses) will easily destroy anything Atzmon tries to stand for.

So what is the big deal? But I shall let David do the explaining:

So, what’s the big deal? I consider this Atzmon is an anti-Semitic crank; hardly unusual, is it? The big deal is this: Atzmon is currently being hosted and/or being given a platform by groups that are thought of as being anti-racist and on the left.

OK, point taken. Still, what is the big deal? That Atzmon is received so warmly by SWP and Scottish Palestine Solidarity Campaign? With all due respect to these mighty groups of lunatics, I could care less. We could care less, to be more precise. As a matter of fact, this phenomenon of scumbags gravitating together reminds me of the recent occasion when that other scumbag, George Galloway, was received so warmly in Canada by the unashamedly fascist (and pro-Nazi) SSNP. Granted, there are still a few remaining differences of opinions between SWP, RESPECT and SSNP, but as the French political market shows lately, these could be settled.

In short - Atzmon thrives on controversy. He seems to be growing larger and fatter on criticism and attention alone, so why feed the troll?

As a matter of fact, my personal poll in Israel (10 random participants) brought 8 counts of “Gilad Atzmon? Who?” with blank stare, 1 count of “Yeah, I definitely heard the name somewhere, could you tell me more?” and 1 count of “Yes, I sure know about the piece of shit”.

So it is 10% for Atzmon - quite high. I bet that a similar poll in UK, outside of SWP and jazz lovers will bring less than 1%. Which is about 10% less than the projected number of people suffering from schizophrenia in most modern societies. Not bad.

You know, upon a second thought, maybe I should buy CDs with Atzmon recordings. What the heck! On the other hand…

Cross-posted on SimplyJews

P.S. As usual, no links to the creep’s site: I am refusing to feed the zoo exhibit. Google yourself.

Ever wonder how the food in ads looks so damned good, and you’ve never, ever seen food like that in real life?

Well, here’s how it’s done.

It’s hard work to achieve the perfect roasted chicken, but advertisements always show Foghorn Leghorn in his prime. To achieve this, food stylists prepare it using similar techniques as those used for the hamburger. “Chicken’s kind of tricky,” says Rose, “because if it’s cooked all the way through the skin gets very wrinkly.”

To prevent this, the chicken breast, according to Rose, is washed clean of fat. The skin is then sewed taunt and stuffed with wet paper towels. The bird is roasted at a low temperature until the skin is dry and bumpy, but, just like the burger, the inside is still raw. Food stylists then spray the roasted chicken with a mixture made with ivory soap to reach the ideal color. The final touches are made with a blowtorch, which is used to brown the legs, wings and any other pale parts of the breast. Voilá, you have the perfect roasted chicken!

Yum, blowtorch-roasted chicken!

There’s more in the article, including how they get ice cream to look that way (it’s not mashed potatoes in an ice cream ad, but it is in other ones), and a list at the end that explains the motor oil in my post title.

Read-in-full recommendation.

Hey, check it out! Saudi Arabian women are now allowed to sell cars! Except, well, when you read it, you see that they are only selling cars to other women. Which is a pretty bad deal, what with women still unable to drive in the theocracy.

Dec 3, 2006 (AP)— RIYADH, Saudi Arabia Saudi women still can’t drive cars, but they can sell them. Potential buyers can go to an all-women showroom where, for the first time, other women will help them choose a car and answer questions about horsepower, carburetors and other automotive features.

Neither the saleswomen nor the female buyers can take the car out for a test drive because women are banned from driving in Saudi Arabia even though they have been allowed to own cars for decades and hire male drivers. Almost half the autos belong to women.

Just in case you think things may be changing in the homeland of the world’s Wahabbi-exporting oil ticks, you would be wrong:

So touchy is the issue of women driving that people who previously called for dialogue about whether Saudi Arabia should remain the only Arab nation that bans female drivers have been largely silenced by a wave of condemnation from conservatives. Mindful of those sensitivities, the Riyadh car dealership that opened the all-women showroom asked that its name not be used.

The seven female saleswomen at the spacious showroom insist they aren’t pushing for female driving but only providing comfort for women who want to buy cars and don’t like to go to dealerships run by men. With the sexes segregated in schools, restaurants and banks, interaction between salesmen and women customers is awkward for many Saudis.

Say, tell me again how Islam is more feminist than the American feminist movement. Go ahead, pull the other leg.