I promised Lair Simon a birthday card today, but it’s been a busy week so far. So you’ll have to take this as your card.

It’s your birthday? So what? I didn’t get any tuna today.

For your birthday, I’m going to sit here so it looks like I’m wearing a funny hat, and you can see my pretty mustache. I know I’m a girl, but I have a pretty mustache. And a pretty birthmark. That’s on the other side. Maybe I’ll show it to you your next birthday.

Happy birthday here, Lair. Many happy returns of the day, and may you have many, many more birthdays.