The high holidays carry with them a high probability of all kind of supernatural phenomena. There is that special feeling of the air being charged by expectation of some otherworld spirit showing itself to mere mortals and pointing out to us the errors of our ways. This is precisely what happened to yours truly the other night.

Some kind of deity descended to me in the middle of the night, and its luminosity was such that it penetrated every corner of my dark soul. Its face was terrible and too frightening to behold, so I didn’t behold and thus cannot describe it in details. Suffice to say that I was awed enough to listen to every word. This is the discussion that ensued:

“You, SnoopyTheGoon (some nickname this wretch has chosen) are a sinner. No more are we ready to close our eyes on your wicked ways. If you do not do anything to redeem yourself quickly…”

“But I want to, oh deity,” interjected I only too readily, “just give me the chore”.

“Then you are to become the guardian angel of Mulham Assir whom you have dubbed ‘the spitting cobra’. We put you in charge of positive criticism of his articles. No more of your cynical nihilistic views, no more of your kneebiting remarks - is it clear? We have perused the three posts you have written about Mulhie, and this kind of shit must stop. Oh, and you may continue calling him ‘the spitting cobra’, we rather like this fighting image. And stop kvetching or else.”

This is how it came to be that I am saddled with the task of being Mulhie’s guardian angel. My role is now to positively criticize and advise him on his articles, and I have chosen four of them for starters.

Who Can Stop Israel?

Bravo, Mulhie! I am especially proud of your masterly usage of the language reading the following:

The only force that can stop Israel and force it to end the carnage against Lebanon, end the Nazi-like camp running of Gaza, to withdraw from all stolen Arab lands that rightfully belong to one group or another of the Arab nation are the people, the Arab nation. The same force, and only that force can help liberate Iraq.

This is the way, man! No mincing your words, no hiding behind false politeness! You show them Zionazis!

Al Qaeda’s Arabic Discourse: American with a Hebrew Accent?

You are the first, Mulhie, to suspect and to get out of the closet the super-secret link between Al-Qaeda and the Zionists. Some people might wonder at the turn of speech you are using here:

It is amazing how protean “Al-Zawahiri” and his “Al Qaeda” are in their supposedly immutable goals: they promote sectarian slaughter in Iraq (against the “infidel” shias), but they also wish to help the same “infidels” in Lebanon. The Zionist propaganda machine in Washington hastens to dispel the confusion and patch over the strange inconsistency: the Sunni extremists of Al Qaeda, they tell us, have overcome their hostility towards the shias in the interest of their jihad against Israel.

But you, Mulhie, and I - we both know that the Elders took control of Washington ages ago, and the only reason ZOG does not use Hebrew is purely technical - some people just do not take to this difficult barbaric language.

And your clarity of vision is incomparable - you have got to the bottom of so called “Al-Zawahiri”, not to speak about the mythical “Bin Laden” - Zionist agents both, so here. Good job, mate.

Nasrallah - Leadership and Restraint

A lot of ink has been used in attempts to draw a portrait of the leader of the Lebanese resistance against the Israeli aggression, Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, and to pinpoint those leadership qualities that explain his incredible achievement, namely, leading the Lebanese resistance forces to push the Israeli war machine out of Lebanon and thwarting this phase of the larger plans of the colonialist superpowers for “a new Middle East.”

Some might say, Mulhie, that you went too far with that praise. After all, these Zionist lackey dogs might mention, it is because of Hon. Sheikh Nasrallah that the Israeli war machine got to be in Lebanon in the first place. And that pushing out you hail, they will add, happened only because Condoleezza told them to go away. But you and I, we know better. Don’t we?

Our enemies might also claim that the level of brown-nosing you are displaying in this article is beyond merely shameful, it is even vomit-inducing. But again - you and I are both of Levantine origins, and our noses are fairly brown as it is, so a bit of professional brown-nosing will not make a significant change, will it?

A Word of Advice to the Vatican

This one is the best so far. Your crowning achievement, I swear to Allah. You don’t even suspect how close to the truth have you got in this passage:

The only explanation is that this is his offering of repentance for the sins of his youth, hoping for Zionist mercy. It is pathetically futile: the Zionists will never expunge the Hitler Jugend information from his dossier. It is too valuable and will always be held over his head.

Oh, man, if I could only show you that dossier! I mean, leave Hitler Jugend alone - there are some pictures that will blow your mind away as sure as taxes and Ramadan. The first time I have seen it, I have blown my lunch, man…

And of course, mercy is out of the question. Zionists don’t know no mercy. People who are taught from the tender age to drink goyim’s blood at breakfast time, are not into mercy. Mercy - shmercy, they say.

So, keep plugging, my little spitting cobra. Do not listen to your detractors and remember: any question or problem, here I am, you faithful guardian angel. Keep you nose brown and your tongue sharpened.

Cross-posted on SimplyJews

The Saudis are going to build an apartheid wall on their border with Iraq.

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates Sep 27, 2006 (AP)— Saudi Arabia is pushing ahead with plans to build a fence to block terrorists from crossing its 560-mile border with Iraq another sign of growing alarm that Sunni-Shiite strife could spill over and drag Iraq’s neighbors into its civil conflict.

The barrier, which hasn’t been started, is part of a $12 billion package of measures including electronic sensors, security bases and physical barriers to protect the oil-rich kingdom from external threats, said Nawaf Obaid, head of the Saudi National Security Assessment Project, an independent research institute that advises the Saudi government.

Not that I expect the UN or the Hague to condemn this one.

Saudi leaders worry about Sunni extremists returning home to wage war on the U.S.-allied monarchy or Shiite militants trying to stir up trouble among the Shiite minority.

Nor do I expect to hear any complaints when the Saudis shoot Iraqis trying to cross the border. Wait for it. It wil happen, and the world will ignore the death of civilians. Because Jews aren’t the ones causing them. That’s what Israeli Double Standard Time is all about.

Dignitaries gathered in the Ukraine yesterday to commemorate the 65th anniversary of one of the worst massacres of Jews in the Holocaust:

The massacre began on Sept. 29, 1941, when Soviet Kiev’s Nazi occupiers ordered all Jews to report to a ravine on the outskirts of town.

The Jews thought they would be taken to a ghetto, and Kiev residents recalled their Jewish neighbors lugging their most valuable belongings out to the ravine.

But when they got there, the Jews were forced to undress and gather in lines along the ravine’s steep embankment. There, the Nazis machine-gunned down the crowd, killing at least 33,771 over 48 hours. In the ensuing months, the number of people killed at Babi Yar grew to more than 100,000.

“I saw how the Germans were laughing and joking when they looked at the people they were bringing to their death,” said Nina Isayeva, 82, who came to pay tribute to the victims. “What barbarians they were.”

Moshe Kantor, founder of the World Holocaust Forum that is organizing the events, said that the world’s silence after Babi Yar emboldened the Nazis to embark on their “final solution” of death camps that ultimately killed six million European Jews.

This is one of the events that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad thinks needs more study. I think so, too. Because of this:

The exact death toll at Babi Yar remains unknown. The Nazi executioners recorded the number of Jews killed in the first two days, but there are no exact records of subsequent killings. In 1943, as the Red Army approached to free Ukraine, the Nazis ordered Jewish prisoners to dig up the corpses and burn them.

The Nazis did their best to cover the evidence of their crimes in the final days of the war. They knew. They knew what they were doing, even as they were doing it—or they wouldn’t have tried to cover it up.

The next time that the palestinians, or the Lebanese, or the anti-Israel crowd shrieks “massacre” over two or eight or thirty dead—send them here. Or here. Or here. The next time one of the anti-Israel crowds shrieks that the Israelis are just like the Nazis, send them here. The next time the so-called anti-Zionists compares the IDF tactics to Nazi tactics—send them here.